More on DivorceMore on DivorceMore on DivorceMore on Divorce

Carolyn R. Fallahi, Ph. D.Carolyn R. Fallahi, Ph. D.

What does it take to be “Good Enough”

parents?• Scarr (1993) – contends that

individual differences with family experiences have weak effects on development.

• Contrary to Baumrind – parenting skills less important than other things.

Baumrind (1993) • Baumrind argues that individual

differences within family leads to significant developmental outcomes.– Intellectual achievement– Social adjustment– “good enough” not adequate for

normal development.

Working Parents• “Ask the Children study”

– If parents work, does it cause harm?– New question: does parenting differ

between those who work and those who don’t work?

It’s all about Time• Focused time• Shared activities with parents

What makes a good parent?

• National Survey– Making child feel important and loved– Responding to the child’s cues and

clues– Accepting the child for who he/she is,

but expecting success– Promoting strong values– Using constructive discipline

Survey cont’d• Providing routines and rituals to

make life predictable and create positive neural patterns in developing brains.

• Being involved in child’s education.

• Being there for the child.

Grading Mom• 1. Being there for me when I am sick.• 2. Raising me with good values.• 3. Making me feel important and

loved.• 4. Being able to go to important

events.• 5. Encouraging me to enjoy learning.

Grading Mom• 6. Being involved in school life.• 7. Being someone to go to when

upset.• 8. Spending time talking with me.• 9. Establishing traditions with me.• 10. Knowing what goes on with me.• 11. Controlling her temper with me.

Siblings• Sibling rivalry• What do siblings provide?

Divorce• Changes in divorce from 1960s

until now.• Following a divorce, 84% of

children reside with their mother.• Changes in the method by which

we do research in divorce.

Research in Divorce• Past: assumed 2-parent family

structure necessary for successful child socialization.

• Many early studies flawed.• Many did not investigate

significant mediating factors.

Research in Divorce• Current researchers: take a life

course, risk and resilience perspective.

• Divorce is one step in a series of family transitions that affect family relationships and children’s adjustment.

Effects of Divorce• Immediately following the divorce.• Symptoms most commonly seen.• After the divorce….children are

less socially, emotionally, and academically well adjusted than are children in non-divorced families.

Problems related to divorce

• Adolescence – more likely to drop out of school, become pregnant, engage in antisocial and delinquent behavior, associate with antisocial peers, show clinical problems.

Effects of Divorce• Young Adulthood – problems in

level of achievement, quality of close personal relationships, fewer financial resources.

Can anything positive come out of divorce?

• Girls – lots of conflict before divorce, more competent after the divorce.

Factors that mediate Divorce

• Age: early studies indicated the younger the child, the worse / better the adjustment (depending on the study).

• Recent studies – negative effects.

Factors that mediate Divorce

• Gender – early studies – negative effects on adjustment for boys and remarriage on adjustment for girls.

• Recent studies: behavior problems increase in adolescence – greater risk for girls than boys.

Factors that mediate Divorce

• Personality: intelligent, competent, easy temperament, high self-esteem, internal locus of control, good sense of humor – fair better….Obviously!

Should Parents stay together for the kids?

• Whether divorced or not, if high conflict, children already showing effects.

• Personality profile of parents need to be taken into account.

• High conflict in family?

What can parents do to help?

• Children’s adjustment directly related to the quality of parenting environment.

• Need warm and supportive, communicative, responsive to needs, exert firm, consistent control, positive discipline, monitored closely.

What can parents do to help?

• ***non-custodial parent must be involved.

• Must be supportive.• Child must not feel in the middle.• Economics• Coparenting

Father Absence• Meta-analysis 67 studies• Stevenson & Black• Girls: effects of absence: less

feminine, more at risk for premarital sex.

• Boys: less stereotypic in choice of toys. Older boys more aggressive in their behavior.