Module 3Communication Climate:

Foundation of Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal Climate

• Interpersonal climate is the overall feeling, or emotional mood between people.

• It is the dominant feeling between people who are involved with each other.

• It is the foundation of personal relationships.

Elements of Satisfying Personal Relationships

• Investment We invest time, energy, thought,

and feelings into interaction. The happiest couples believe they

invest equally—investing more than a partner makes us resentful.

• Commitment A decision to stay with a

relationship

Elements of Satisfying Personal Relationships

• Trust Believing in another’s reliability

and emotionally relying on another to care about and protect our welfare

Self-disclosure—revealing personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways

• Comfort with relational dialectics

Self-Disclosure When Appropriate

• Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you.

• Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk.

• Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually.

• Reserve intimate or very personal self-disclosure for ongoing relationships.

• Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated.

Self-Disclosing

Benefits• May increase trust• May increase

closeness• May enhance self-

esteem• May increase

security• May enhance self-

growth

Risks• Others may reject

us• Others may think

less of us• Others may violate

our confidences

Relational DialecticsConnection/Autonomy

I want to be close. I need my own space.

Predictability/Novelty I like the familiar We need to do rhythms we have. something new.

Openness/ClosednessI like sharing so There are some much with you. things I don’t want

to talk about.

Responding to Dialectics• Neutralization negotiates a balance

between the two poles.• Give priority to one need and neglect the

other.• Separate by assigning one need to certain

interactions and opposing needs to another aspect of interaction.

• Reframe by redefining contradictory needs as not in opposition.In general the least effective way to manage dialectics is to honor one need and repress the opposing one.

The Gift of Confirmation

“You matter to me.”Recognize Acknowledge

Endorse

Basic requirements for healthy communication!

Continuum of Interpersonal Climates

ConfirmingClimate

MixedClimate

CyclingClimate

DisconfirmingClimate

Nurture relationships through

supportive not defensive communication

Defensiveness – a negative feeling or behavior that results when a person feels threatened

Defensive Communication

Supportive Communication

• Evaluation • Description • Certainty • Provisionalism• Strategy • Spontaneity• Control • Problem orientation • Neutrality • Superiority

• Empathy • Equality

Ethnocentrism is a form of certainty communication where we assume that our culture and

its norms are the only right ones.

The word “strategy” in a relationship makes some people

uncomfortable. Why? Is spontaneity necessary for

intimacy?

Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates• Communicate in a way that

actively enhances the mood of a relationship.

• Accept and confirm others.• Affirm and assert yourself.• Self-disclose when appropriate.• Respect diversity in relationships.• Respond to others’ criticism

constructively.

Johari Window

Open Blind

Secret Unknown

Known to self

Not known to self

Known to others

Not known to others

Affirm and Assert Yourself• Assertion is a matter of clearly and

nonjudgmentally stating what you feel, need, or want.

• Aggression involves putting your needs above those of others.

• Deference involves putting others needs ahead of yours.It is as important to affirm and accept yourself as to do that for others.

Respond to Others’ Criticism Constructively

• Seek more information.• Consider the criticism thoughtfully.

Is it valid? If you do not believe the criticism is

accurate offer your own interpretation. If it is valid, how do you want to

change?• Thank the person who offered the

criticism.