January/February 2015

Volume 41 Issue 3

METRO MARYLAND OSTOMY ASSOCIATION, INC.

How to contact us:

Phone: 301-946-6661 Fax: 800-543-5870

E-Mail: info@MarylandOstomy.org

Web: www.MarylandOstomy.org

Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc. is a registered 501(c)(3)

tax-exempt, non-profit organization dedicated to the education, rehabilitation, and assistance of those living with an Ostomy.

Michael Scott Bowling June 3, 1971 – November 19, 2014

“Life should not be a journey to the grave

with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out,

and screaming, ‘WOO HOO, what a ride!” ~ Unknown Author

Celebrating the Life of Michael Scott Bowling

Annapolis, Maryland

November 29, 2014

Scott began 2014 planning and executing Metro Maryland Ostomy Association’s 40th Year

Anniversary celebration. He ended the year saying, “goodbye.” It is with the deepest sense of

loss, and at the same time a sense of gratefulness for all he meant to MMOA, that we say

“goodbye” to our president and champion since 2008, Michael Scott Bowling. His life sketch

and several tributes read at his memorial service make up this issue of MMOA’s newsletter for

January-February, 2015.

~ The Board Members, Metro Maryland Ostomy Association ~

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THRIVE – Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc. January/February 2015

Upcoming Meetings at Holy Cross:

Sunday, January 11, 2015 at 12:00 Noon

Memories of Scott with his brother, Robert

Sunday, February 8, 2015 at 12:00 Noon Sylvia Fagal, BS, RD

Parking is no longer free at Holy Cross Hospital

30 minutes to 1 hour is $2.00

1 - 2 hour is $3.00

2 - 3 hour is $4.00

3 - 4 hour is $5.00 (Maximum for the day is $7) Take your ticket before parking. Pay with your ticket after the meeting at the outside Main Lobby of the Hospital, 1st

Floor kiosk, by the garage elevator (front of building on the top/fourth floor of the garage).

MMOA Board of Directors and Volunteers

Past President ………….……………………………………….…………….…Scott Bowling

President Emeritus & Founder ……………………………..…...………….Horace Saunders

President …………………………………………………………………………

Vice President …………………………………………………………….……..Michele Gibbs

Secretary……………………………………………………………………….Bonnie Richburg

Treasurer……………………….………..………………………………….….Verland Erntson

Board of Directors:

Chairman ……………………………………………………………………….Marty Noretsky

Scott Bowling Mildred Carter Cary Dawson

Noel Eldridge Verland Erntson Michele Gibbs

Paul Hudes Rosemary Kennedy William King

Yolande Langbehn Bonnie Richburg Sue Rizvi

Office Manager………………………………………Mildred Carter; & Volunteer Staff – Jan Erntson, Sue Hoover

Newsletter Editor & Volunteers …… Sue Rizvi; Don Ball, Jan Erntson, Rosemary Kennedy, Yolande Langbehn

Meeting Greeter/Registration ……………………….Yolande Langbehn

Appliance Chairperson ………………………William King

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THRIVE – Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc. January/February 2015

Michael Scott Bowling

June 3, 1971 – November 19, 2014 Michael Scott Bowling, 43, passed peacefully on Wednes-day, November 19, 2014, after a long struggle with Crohn’s Disease and cancer, surrounded by his family and friends.

Scott was many things: a son, a brother, an uncle, a husband, activist, lawyer, mortgage banker, political candidate, and a warm and loving friend to many. His warmth, optimism, and courage were remarkable. He squeezed the utmost out of life despite life-long health challenges. “While he was human and had his short-comings, his strongest gift to everybody was his absolute refusal to yield to his illness,” remarked his partner and husband, David Miller, in an interview with the Capital.

Scott was a lifelong Marylander, born and raised in Prince George’s County. At the time of his death, he lived in Annapolis with Dave and his adored Shelties, Boomer and Sophie. He was a graduate of DeMatha Catholic High School, a student of Duquesne University and Loyola University Maryland, and graduate of the University of Baltimore School of Law.

He started working at a young age, selling popcorn in RFK Stadium in Washington, DC. He worked for Montgomery Ward and then late in his undergraduate education, he joined Maryland National Bank, eventually moving to Delaware to work for MBNA credit services. He left MBNA and became a mortgage banker, eventually working for CTX Mortgage, Countrywide and then Wells Fargo. He ended his career in mortgage banking due to disability in the late 2000’s. As a result of benefits made available due to disability, Scott was able to obtain his law degree and pass the bar. He had various brief opportunities between hospitalizations to pursue the art of law, and regretted not having more time to develop his expertise.

One of Scott’s passions was supporting Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc., (MMOA) a non-profit organiza-tion that advocates for and provides assistance to people with ostomies resulting from cancer, colitis, or Crohn’s. Scott’s battles with Crohn’s Disease began very early, and at the age of eight, he underwent the first of many surgeries to remove the large colon and part of his small intestines. His mother credits his positive outlook on living with this disease and the resulting ostomy to Horace Saunders, MMOA founder and president for many years. Horace introduced Scott (at the age of eight) to a young 16-year-old teen who was wearing “skinny jeans,” demonstrating that Scott could lead an active and productive life in society.

Scott actively participated in the various youth and adult activities of MMOA, except when he lived outside of Maryland. Eventually he became vice president, and then president from 2008 to the time of his death. Scott was instrumental in moving the organization towards digital files and email, developing the current website, and instigating the Facebook and Twitter accounts. He supervised the office move to the current location in Rockville, and his latest accomplishment was in planning and executing the organization’s 40-Year Anniversary celebrations in March-April of 2014.

Scott was also a passionate, tireless champion for social justice. He was well described by his pastor Rev. Dr. Wayne Schwandt as “a constant agitator for change and justice. He was a superhero of advocacy for all those who need assistance.” The week before his death, Equality Maryland honored him with the first ever “M. Scott Bowling Courage Award,” noting his unwavering commitment and courage in the face of adversity.

He was a keen observer of politics and no stranger to legislators and council members in Annapolis. He spent countless hours grilling officials on perceived violations of the city code and other issues. Dave attributes Scott’s passion for local politics to the example set by his mother, who was a city commissioner in Cottage City in Prince George’s County.

Scott loved spending time with friends and family, often engaging in spirited conversations (some would call them arguments) on a broad range of topics. He enjoyed his electronic gadgets and was rarely without his cell phone or computer, often sending emails at unusual times of the day and night. He and Dave were partners for almost 14 years and married in Washington, D.C., on July 3, 2010, surrounded by over 140 friends and family. He loved to travel and made friends wherever he went. They took eight different cruises to places like the Mediterranean, Baltic Sea, and Europe, and traveled extensively in the United States, Mexico, and Canada.

In addition to Dave, Scott is survived by his parents, Anna Marie and Carl Angolia; his brother and sister-in-law, Robert and Alicia Angolia, and their daughters Abigail and Addison; his father, John Bowling; many in-laws, nieces and nephews, and other relatives. He shared a particularly close relationship with his Aunt Rose and Uncle Tony Biancaniello.

Memorial Gifts may be made in memory of Scott to Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Equality Maryland,

and Evolve Chesapeake.

….

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Scott’s Journey by Robert Angolia, brother

First, I want to thank everyone for joining us today—family, friends, and members of Metro Maryland Ostomy Association and Equality Maryland. It is my honor to stand before you, as the brother of the most courageous man I know. You are a variety of people from all walks of life, but during your own journey you were touched by Scott and his inspiring story. Although each of us has our own personal reason for being here, it is ultimately for the same reason—to share and celebrate our memories of Scott. His Life's Journey, although cut too short, was second to none and despite the obstacles, it was a journey most people could only dream of living.

We grew up in a small loving home outside DC with wonderful parents, and went to great schools. We could not have asked for more. However, life throws curve balls and things can change in a heartbeat. That day came to our family on September 6, 1979. While celebrating my grand- mothers’ birthday, Scott began experiencing familiar

but more intense bowel problems and bleeding. These symptoms resulted in countless tests and numerous hospital visits and ended with a diagnosis of Crohn's Disease. On May 12, 1980 it was necessary to remove his entire colon and just over half of the small bowel, ending up with an Ileostomy at just eight years of age.

Over the span of the next 35 years, Scott experienced about 25 abdominal surgeries which included resections or revisions of the stoma site and removal of partial bowel, each surgery having an impact both mentally and physically. For any one of us, dealing with Crohns alone would be difficult and overwhelming. However, Scott was also diagnosed with thyroid cancer at 34, went through chemo, was unexpectedly confined to a wheelchair for two years, and finally lung cancer this year, at 43 years of age. I do not mention these surgeries and procedures to gain sympathy for Scott, but to give substance to his background and to illustrate his struggles so we can better understand the accomplishments he achieved.

During Scott’s first battle with cancer, I bought the yellow “Livestrong” bracelet - widely recognized as a symbol of support for those with cancer. I wanted to show support for Scott as he began his fight against cancer. However, that reason slowly evolved to one that reminded me of the true meaning of “Livestrong.” When I look at my

wrist and see this “symbol,” it is a reminder that no matter what I encounter, what hurdles I face, or how bad my day is, it will never compare to what Scott has faced, battled and conquered throughout his life.

On March 3, 2010, Scott was recognized as the regional winner for the Great Comebacks Award, an award given to distinguished individuals who overcome great obstacles in life and move on to achieve great success while inspiring others. During Scott’s video segment he showed his positive attitude and humor by making the following statement. “Nobody goes to the menu of life, and says I want Crohn's disease and an ileostomy. But sometimes those menu choices are what are dealt and what we are served, and you have to make the best of it.” Regardless of the obstacles or challenges that Scott faced, he always managed to maintain a disposition that inspired others. His positive attitude, perseverance and even his stubbornness not only made others believe in him, but inspired others to fight harder and believe in themselves and their own aspirations.

You might ask where his passion, drive, and motivation came from. Although many people played key roles, one person influenced and inspired him the most to succeed—our Grandmother Beatrice Biancaniello. They had an unbreakable bond, one only they could understand. She too, was diagnosed with cancer, but she fought and held that same positive mentality. A few nights before she passed, she pulled my brother and me into her room and said, “Always fight for what you believe in, never give up on those you love, and never let anyone come in the way of your dreams.” My brother and I never spoke of that conversation but have held it close in our hearts.

Even at a young age Scott had a maturity far beyond his years. His presence alone encouraged and inspired others around him even while struggling with his own battles. Scott was President of the Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Board Member with Equality Maryland, mortgage broker, and political activist. During his stay at Hospice of Chesapeake he continued to arrange fundraisers and secure items for silent auctions from his bedside. Two weeks ago, in recognition of his courage, strength and resilient spirit he received the first annual M. Scott Bowling Courage Award presented by Equality Maryland.

During Scott's most recent battle with cancer he posted on his Facebook page the following quote: “Anyone can give up. It’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

.■

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Continued

Now to help you understand his strength, while Scott was simultaneously undergoing chemo, battling Crohn's,

confined to a wheelchair and undergoing a procedure called Plasmapheresis to help enable him to walk again, what does he do? In true Scott fashion, and not being busy enough, he says “I want to go back to school and get my law degree.”

I imagine that his journey has touched us all in a way that makes us realize that the most important thing in life is that which is right here in front of us—each other. I can honestly say I will never meet another individual who has positively impacted the lives of so many people, while overcoming and conquering so much personally. I ask each of you here today, when you want to give up, when you want to quit, think of Scott and push yourself a little harder and you will excel and persevere far beyond your dreams.

After Scott came to terms with his own mortality, he gave his ultimate gift to the world—he chose to donate his body to Children’s Hospital for scientific research in hope of finding a cure for Crohns and cancer. He said that if donating his body to science could save just one child from suffering from Crohns or cancer, then his journey was worth it.

I would like to thank a few individuals who not only shared in Scotts Journey, but made sacrifices and fought by his side regardless of the hurdles he faced.

To our mother Anna Marie: What can be said besides “thank you.” Thank you for raising a strong, independent man who changed the lives of many. Thank you for standing in his corner and fighting the fights, enduring all the surgeries, and for accepting Scott for the man that he was. And finally for never giving up on him, and sitting by his side when he needed you most.

To our “Pop” Carl Angolia: Your relationship with Scott can be described by the famous Brad Paisley song, “The Dad he didn’t have to be.” I hope that one day I can look back at myself and my own two daughters and be half the father you were to my brother. From the beginning, you accepted Scott and our mother for who they were, and I am eternally grateful.

To Uncle Tony and Aunt Rose: He could talk for hours with you and enjoy whatever the topic at hand might be. Again, there was that special bond you shared, and he cherished the time spent together. You both held a special place in his heart, and he always spoke highly of you both.

To Dave: You and Scott had an amazing 14 years. From your trips to Boston, Mediterranean Cruises and Tours of Europe, the two of you always found a way to live life to the fullest. You loved Scott unconditionally for who he was, and more importantly you accepted and loved him through a lot of tough times. I could see your love for him shining to the final hour. Your love and devotion for him will never be questioned.

To Alicia, Abigail and Addison: You were the masterminds and creators of many craft projects, specifically the Superhero Cape and Scott’s Blog of Love. These projects were proudly displayed on walls and served as a constant reminder of your love, and motivation for him to continue the fight. Scott’s love for his nieces proved true the night before he passed. He had been lying unresponsive for hours and had lost his ability to speak. My phone rang and it was the girls, I put them on speaker so they could say a few words to their uncle. They yelled and acted goofy as usual, but then finally said, “Goodnight Uncle Scott. We love you.” And Scott opened his eyes, put his hands up in the air, and whispered back, “I love you.”

Lastly….To Scott Bowling: This church is filled with people who have been touched by your story. We each have our own special memory, funny moment, or have simply been inspired by your character. Personally, I will never forget how you loved, protected, and encouraged me. If there was ever somebody who made me believe in myself, it was you. I am forever grateful and will share your journey with others so your legacy will not be forgotten.

Robert and Scott

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Friendship by Carrie Evans, Equality Maryland (excerpts by editor)

A few months ago when I was spending time with Scott he asked if I would speak when this day came. Without giving it a second thought, I said “Of course”; privately I hoped this day would be further off than it really was. As Scott’s health declined, he would reaffirm with me, at least once a month, that I would still speak today. Other than these exchanges Scott and I really did not talk about his impending death. Instead, we talked about what was happening in politics, what Equality Maryland was working on, some of his favorite travel destinations, dogs, food and so much more. I believe we talked about these things not because Scott was in denial about his health, but because he had accepted what was happening and chose not to let his last months be filled with sadness and despair. This is not to say Scott did not have moments of sadness and despair; he did. But these feelings did not consume him and the valuable time he had left with his family and friends.

As I drove home that night after he asked me to speak, I had one of those, really messy, can’t catch my breath, deep and visceral sobbing sessions. I had just left my friend, a year younger than me, who was dealing with an imminent and pre-mature death and all that comes along with this. The magnitude and depth of what Scott was dealing with really hit home that night.

While some may think that spending the last months, weeks and days with a dying friend would be depressing and sad, this was not the case during my sacred time with Scott. To be invited into someone’s life in its final chapter is a blessing and something that I will cherish forever. For many of us that spent time with him during these months, it truly was a special time. Regardless of what kind of day he was having or how crappy he was feeling, he always was genuinely happy to see you. The time with him was almost always free of smartphones, TV’s and computers. We would actually sit for hours just talking; something that is becoming more rare in our 24/7 world. And the cast of characters in Scott’s room was illustrative of his ability to find connection with almost everyone he met. There were members of his family, childhood friends, his LGBT family, his Equality Maryland family, his favorite EMT, his former health care providers, elected officials, Tupperware-selling drag queens; it was a reality show waiting to be filmed! But we all had a love of Scott binding us together and that was enough to supersede any differences. And what was beautiful was to see

some of these characters that had never met before establish bonds with one another as we sat with Scott. He brought many of us together and our ties will endure past his death.

We all know Scott was willful and some would even say stubborn. And I wholeheartedly agree. But what I love is that he was willful and stubborn about stopping injustice. Nothing that he faced in his life diminished this willfulness.

There are many things Scott has both consciously and unconsciously taught me about life that I vow to carry in my heart in his name and to honor his spirit.

Show people how you feel – if you are happy and excited to see someone, tell them that, show the sparkle in your eyes when they walk in a room.

It is okay to feel sadness, despair and even self-pity and to share these feelings with people you love. This does not make you weak. It shows you are strong and confident in the love around you.

Live fully. Do what makes you absolutely happy, even if you fail doing it or if people think you are crazy.

Scott helped me become a better person, more specifically a better friend. I had no script on how to be someone’s friend in these circumstances, and what I realized is that I didn’t need one. The softness and love that exists between friends is enough to expand into the spaces that need filling in the dark moments. The day after Scott’s death, I came upon a quote and I knew the words were speaking to me and Scott, and I will end with them:

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship,

it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them,

and let them fight for you. Don't walk away,

don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired,

don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue

that holds life and faith together.”

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Scott’s Pencil by Mildred Carter, MMOA Board of Directors The Master of the universe has a plan for every person who arrives in this world. Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, FDR, and the list goes on. He opens His pencil box, assigns a name to the pencil, and begins writing the script of the individual’s life – everyone has a purpose.

Forty three years ago He pulled out a pencil and assigned it to Michael Scott Bowling. It was no mistake that Scott’s first encounter with his purpose in life was the assignment of an illness that had his parents bring him to Metro Maryland Ostomy Association (MMOA). Our founder and president at the time, Horace Saunders, has always considered Scott like a son. He valued Scott because of his positive attitude in dealing with other young people in his age group, for communicating to them that life is what happens to you when you are waiting for it to start.

Crohn’s is not curable, but you learn to exist on medication and a mindset of perseverance. Scott definitely had the right mindset, and it led him down many roads which may or may not have been under construction, but that mindset forced him to go, not where the path led him, but to go where there is no path, and to leave his own trail.

Greater opportunities followed him and in 2008 our president, Horace, vetted Scott for the post of president of MMOA. He accepted and as we look back, Scott: 1) moved the organization from its previous location to the Non-Profit Village in Rockville, Maryland for greater access with the community; 2) advocated with delegates of the Maryland House and Senate, presenting two proclamations to MMOA for their support provided to ostomy patients; 3) advocated successfully with the Maryland legislature for Bill 1183, signed into law in April 2013, allowing access to “employee only” facilities for ostomy patients; 4) personally won the Eastern Region of the United States “Great Comebacks Award” for ostomy survival and as a role model. Orchestrating the 40th anniversary celebration of MMOA was his crowning achievement for 2014. His ongoing projects were moving our organization into the electronic age, and website architecture.

On June 24 when Scott asked me to speak at his memorial ceremony, he said:

“Don’t forget to tell them about my passion for Metro Maryland Ostomy Association and for helping others.

Let them know that I stood firm with the ostomy community in helping to push forward legislation requiring insurance coverage for ostomy supplies for patients. Tell them the support that I received at eight years of age has travelled with me throughout my life.

And last of all, tell them that I apologize for not doing more to help those in need.

I just ran out of time….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memorials and Tributes

A tax-deductible donation to Metro Maryland in memory of Scott would be most appropriate at this time. Mail check to: Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, 12320 Parklawn Drive - Suite 241, Rockville, MD 20852

Or pay through our website (www.MarylandOstomy.org) by Pay Pal.

Name __________________________________________________ Amount $___________________________ Address _______________________________________ City __________________ State ____ Zip ___________ Telephone _____________________________ Email: ________________________________________________

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THRIVE – Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc. January/February 2015

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New Years’ Resolutions of an Ostomate – via The Detour

1. To remember my own early days and realize that no question by a new ostomate is silly.

2. To not begrudge the time necessary for my personal care.

3. To keep myself neat and presentable al all times. 4. To keep my bathroom shareable. 5. To value the cooperation of my family. 6. To appreciate that I am one of the lucky ones. 7. To try to do the things I want to do, but think I

cannot. 8. To be patient. 9. To live all day every day. 10. To help others whenever I can. 11. To urge my fellow ostomates to see people, go

places, and do things. 12. To give full credit to modern medicine. 13. To be grateful for my present good health. 14. To be of good cheer. 15. To renew my pledge the first of each month.

~~~

Wishing You a Healthy and Prosperous New Year. from your MMOA Board Members

THRIVE – Metro Maryland Ostomy Association, Inc. January/February 2015

MMOA Uses Social Media to Reach You

THANK YOU TO ALL who participated in our annual raffle, and to those who have sent additional contributions this year. We appreciate and depend on our supporters, as we move into our 41st year of supporting ostomates on their journey. Your contributions, whether on your birthday – your surgery date anniversary - annually - bi-annually – quarterly, make MMOA viable for others.

We continue to be there for ostomates either by telephone or in person. At MMOA’s meetings experienced and generous ostomates share themselves and their experiences with other ostomates and their families, not only to gain confidence in themselves, but to reach out to new ostomates who need a little word of encouragement.

MMOA wants to continue to be there for ostomates… for YOU.

Please visit us on Facebook

and follow us on twitter@MarylandOstomy.

MMOA, Inc.

12320 Parklawn Drive, Suite 241 Rockville, MD 20852