MAZAL TOVCongratulations on entering into the process that leads to Bar and Bat Mitzvah! For Jewish families, Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations are remarkable, life-affirming events. They provide a wonderful opportunity to welcome a new Jewish adult into the community, to affirm a family’s commitment to ongoing Jewish living and study, and to gather relatives and friends from everywhere for the simcha (celebration).

Our congregation considers Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies to be as important in the life of the temple as they are in the life of a family. The preparation process for Bat and Bar Mitzvah has been carefully arranged to lead to a most meaningful and successful event – and, more importantly, to a deep and abiding family relationship with Jewish learning and practice. Students from past years are called upon to participate in High Holiday Services as a continuing process of Jewish learning and commitment to community. They are also expected to participate in Tucson High School for Jewish Studies, our community supplementary high school.

This guidebook should answer most of the questions you have about what Bar and Bat Mitzvah are, and how a family should approach this milestone in a life of Jewish learning and commitment. While our rabbi, cantor, congregational staff, and Religious School will do everything possible to prepare the student, family cooperation and involvement are essential. The Bar and Bat Mitzvah itself should be rewarding and meaningful; y ou help make both the preparation and the ceremony a memorable experience in the life of your family. The word mitzvah means commandment – and just as there is a notion of obligation inherent in that concept, so too the guidelines in this text are requirements that must be met for Bar and Bat Mitzvah in our congregation.

The most effective way to teach a child is to “live the lesson.” The greater your family’s level of involvement in the Bar or Bat Mitzvah preparation process, the more meaningful the ceremony, and Judaism, will become.

Please read this booklet carefully, and be certain to compile a list of any additional questions you may have to ask Rabbi Batsheva Appel or Cantorial Soloist Marjorie Hochberg.

INTRODUCTION TO BAR AND BAT MITZVAH

The following section is an introduction to Bar and Bat Mitzvah. Much of it is drawn from A Spiritual Journey – the Bar and Bat Mitzvah Handbook, published by Behrman House, one of the texts that you will receive as part of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah materials. Please read this carefully with your child, as it will answer many of your questions about Bar and Bat Mitzvah.

Helping Your Child To Prepare

These simple suggestions will be very useful. They are compiled from the advice of Bar and Bat Mitzvah families from past years.

1. Confer with the Rabbi on the amount of supervision your childwill need.

2. Help your child schedule his/her time for preparation and then assist him/her in keeping on schedule. A minimum of ½ hour a day, every day is normally required. If your child is not practicing this much, find out why.

3. Let your child know constantly that you have faith in his/her ability to complete the work. Maintain your sense of humor as tension and excitement mount.

4. If you have any questions regarding the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, do not hesitate to call the Rabbi, Cantorial Soloist, or the office.

What is the meaning of Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah?

The words Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah are Hebrew terms indicating that a person has reached the status of an adult member of the Jewish Community. Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies mark this transition from childhood to adulthood.

Bar Mitzvah is a masculine noun, and Bat Mitzvah is the same noun in feminine form. Both can be translated as “child of (God’s) commandments.” More precisely, becoming a Bat or Bar Mitzvah means accepting a transition: as a Jew becomes an adult, he or she accepts God’s commands as binding in much the same way as a child accepts the commands of parents. We often hear Jews using these terms as verbs, speaking of being “Bar Mitzvahed” and Bat Mitzvahed,” and, while this usage is grammatically incorrect, it is strikingly apt. Bar or Bat Mitzvah requires intense activity. A person may study Judaism and Hebrew for years in preparation for this ceremonial recognition. Families spend long hours planning the occasion to make it memorable. Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah can, indeed, be seen as terms of action.

The nouns Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah suggest even more. The terms bar and bat denote membership in a group. The Hebrew word mitzvah is sometimes used to mean a “good deed,” but here it is used in its technical sense, referring to the commandments found in the Torah – traditionally reckoned at 13. A Bat Mitzvah, then, is a woman who is “subject to the commandments,” or, even better, “a woman of responsibility.” Similarly, a Bar Mitzvah is “a man of responsibility.” The terms may be applied to every Jewish man and woman from the age of thirteen, whether or not the ceremony takes place. At this age, one becomes a woman of duty or a man of duty, committed to the ideals of Judaism, and remains one forever. The purpose of the ceremony is to make this passage into Jewish adulthood, with all the privileges and responsibilities of that new status. The ceremony enables family and friends and the religious community as a whole to celebrate together the continuity of tradition and faith.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a beginning, not the conclusion of a person’s Jewish education; it is a passageway to wider learning and observance. If observance is not encouraged, if you do not participate with him/her, if he/she never attends a service before or after Bar/Bat Mitzvah, then the ritual will have no meaning. You may be satisfied yourself, but the sincerity of your child and his or her future Jewish attitude will be jeopardized.

When does the ceremony take place?

The celebration marking a Bar or Bat Mitzvah usually takes place when the boy or girl reaches the age of thirteen. The Mishnah (the oldest post-biblical collection of Jewish laws) states that vows made by a boy who is thirteen years and one day old are considered valid and he is eligible to lead the congregation in prayer, or to serve on a Jewish court, and to buy and sell property. Girls too were eligible for all the obligations and privileges of Jewish women. It should be noted that many of the ritual obligations traditionally fell upon men, whereas women were not obligated to observe commandments that had to be carried out at fixed times. Jewish tradition has always respected the roles of both sexes and today the role of women within Judaism has greatly expanded. As strides toward achieving full equality continue, women now serve as rabbis and cantors within the Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist movements. Reform Judaism has always recognized the full equality of women and men in Jewish education, ritual and practice.

The Rabbis of the Talmud – completed in the 5th century – consider a thirteen-year-old to be physically and emotionally mature. They believed that, at these ages, girls and boys could tell right from wrong and could be held responsible for their own actions. Today, although we may consider thirteen as too young for people to be held responsible for all their decisions, we recognize the entry of youngsters into the teenage years as significant. As children reach their teens, they mature physically and intellectually and begin to relate to the world in new ways. They begin to examine adult beliefs with varying degrees of skepticism. If a young person is properly prepared, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony can help reach independence in an impressive spiritual experience which speaks both to the intellect and to the soul.

In earlier eras, girls were sometimes Bat Mitzvah at the age of 12. The egalitarianism of Reform practice today requires that girls become Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13, which Temple Emanu-El fully supports.

What should a Bar or Bat Mitzvah learn?

For more than two thousand years, Jewish parents have had the responsibility of educating their children, raising them to become links in the chain of Jewish tradition. The best known of all Jewish prayers, the Shema, contains a commandment to all Jewish parents: “You shall teach the commandments diligently to your children.” The rabbis of the Talmud maintained that the world was dependent on this education. In their words: “The world exists only through the breath of schoolchildren.”

A Jewish legend says that God withheld giving the Torah to the Jewish people until they could provide some form of guarantee. Only when they pledged their children did God accept their guarantee. Therefore, the legend concludes, each new generation must be taught the Torah and all that is in it, for the vitality of Torah depends upon its interpretation and transmission from generation to generation.

Today Jewish children study Judaism either in supplementary schools, which specialize in the transmission of Jewish subjects, or in day schools, in which Jewish studies are integrated into the curriculum. In either case, Jewish parents must demonstrate their devotion to an ancient ideal in modern times.

Jewish tradition regards education as a life-long concern leading to the ideal goal of study for its own sake. Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah are milestones in a lifetime of study. During eight years of formal instruction, girls and boys acquire knowledge about Jewish customs and ceremonies, Jewish history, values, the Hebrew language, and Bible. Hebrew reading is an important component of Bat and Bar Mitzvah training and its mastery gives students great satisfaction. The study of Hebrew is valued among Jews for several important reasons. The Torah and other books of the Bible are written in Hebrew. Jews throughout the world pray in Hebrew. Hebrew is the spoken language of the modern state of Israel, and it is the Hebrew language that unites Jews throughout the world in a shared culture. For all these reasons, a demonstration of Hebrew reading ability is central to Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies.

What Do The Objects In The Synagogue Symbolize?

Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies usually take place in the synagogue. The drama of the celebration is heightened by the presence of the Torah scroll and other religious symbols. Many of the ritual objects seen in Jewish sanctuaries date back to the beginnings of Judaism. They are intended to remind worshippers of basic beliefs, values, and a shared history.

The Holy Ark or Aron ha-Kodesh dominates one wall of the synagogue. The arrangement reminds us of the Ark containing the tablets of the Ten Commandments that was carried by the Israelites during their years of wandering in the wilderness. The Aron ka-Kodesh is on a raised platform (bimah), which includes a speaker’s podium. It is placed on the eastern wall so that as congregants face it they look toward Jerusalem.

The Torah scroll (Sefer Torah) stored in the Holy Ark contains the Five Books of Moses, the first five books of the Bible. The Torah is written on parchment made from animal skins, usually sheepskin. No vowels appear in the Torah scroll because the vowel system as we know it was introduced to the Hebrew language many years after the text of the scroll was written. The parchment is attached to two wooden rollers – each of which is called a Tree of Life (Etz Hayyim) – and clothed in a mantel of embroidered fabric.

Silver ornaments may adorn the top of the handles, or a crown may be used to cover them. A silver breastplate is placed at the front of the scroll. Also a carved silver yad or “hand” is attached. The reader uses the yad to follow the text.

What are a Kippah and a Tallit?

Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies use all the elements of liturgical drama. The words and actions are carefully prepared, as is the music. But these ceremonies should not be seen as “theatrical” performances. Rather, they are religious moments shared with God – moments designed to enhance spiritual goals. Those seated in the synagogue are not an “audience” but a community of faith gathered in congregation.

Careful attention is paid to two items of traditional attire: a skullcap, or kippah (also called a (yarmulka), and a prayer shawl, or tallit. They are worn by most Bar Mitzvah boys, and many Bat Mitzvah girls. While their use is sometimes optional in Reform practice, it is mandatory in our congregation for both girls and boys.

The Tallit is a four-cornered garment which is draped around the shoulders. At each corner are knotted fringes called tzitzit. Their purpose is explained in the Torah: God spoke to Moses saying: Speak to the children of Israel and enjoin them to make themselves tzitzit on the corners of their garments throughout the generations …So shall you be reminded to observe all My Commandments and be holy to your God. [Numbers 15:37 – 40]

The tallit may be large or small, or any color, and made of any material, although wool and linen are never used together. The tallit has to meet only two requirements: it must have four corners, and each corner must have a white, knotted fringe made of wool or of the same material as the tallit. Since the Torah commands that we be able to “see” the tzitzit, the tallit is worn only in the daytime, although those who lead the prayer service may wear one in the evening. Once a year, on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement from sin, holiest day of the Jewish year, the tallit is worn in the evening as well, giving this service a special atmosphere of purity.

The wearing of a tallit is a privilege and mark of adulthood, serving as a constant reminder of the commandments. A boy officially wears a tallit for the first time on the occasion of becoming a Bar Mitzvah, as a girl officially does for the first time at the Bat Mitzvah ceremony. It is highly appropriate for the family to seek out and acquire a tallit as a special, life-long gift to the Bat or Bar Mitzvah.

What does it mean to be called to the Torah?

It is always an honor to be called up to recite the blessings before and after the Torah scroll is read. This act is known as aliyah, literally, "ascending.” It takes its name from the fact that the worshipper ascends the bimah, the platform. But this physical act of going up is symbolic of a greater spiritual one. The act of moving from the Diaspora to the Land of Israel is also called aliyah. And, for those who are in Israel, all travel in the direction of Jerusalem or the Temple mount is “ascending,” while all travel from Jerusalem is referred to as “descending.” The synagogue worshipper called to the Torah makes a symbolic spiritual ascent.

On the day of a young person’s first aliyah – their Bar or Bat Mitzvah -- family and friends have the opportunity to share the honor. On the Sabbath, the Torah portion is traditionally divided into at least seven sections. In the Talmudic period, each person who was called for an aliyah read the Torah portion. Today, the reading is generally done by a trained individual. The person who is honored with an aliyah recites a blessing before the reading and another after it. In

our congregation an aliyah can be shared, with individuals reading together. Where family or friends have the ability to chant an aliyah from the Torah, the Rabbi will be delighted to coordinate their participation.

There are many occasions on which a Jewish adult may be honored with an aliyah. An engagement, the birth of a child, recovery from a serious illness, a daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, a son’s Bar Mitzvah, a wedding anniversary, a Yahrzeit commemorating the death of a relative – all these and more may be reasons for being honored in this way.

Traditionally, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah is called for the recitation of the final portion of the Torah reading. The person who receives the honor of reciting this portion is referred to as the maftir (for a male) or a maftirah (a female), the one who “concludes.” All are called to the bimah by their Hebrew names. The family of the Bat or Bar Mitzvah has the privilege of naming most of the people called for these honors. It is necessary to find family and friends who are capable of chanting Torah blessings in Hebrew, and also to find out their Hebrew names in advance of the Shabbat of Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Again, the Rabbi can be of assistance in providing tapes and photocopies of the blessings.

Reciting the Torah blessings is symbolic of a young person’s acceptance of adult Jewish responsibilities. In this way the young person makes the journey upward officially for the first time – the first aliyah – an act that echoes the very first aliyah, when Moses ascended Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. This connection transforms all the arduous preparation into a sacred religious act as the youngster becomes a full participating member of the Jewish community committed to its historic Covenant with God.

What is the haftarah ?

A prophetic section from the Bible is assigned to each Torah portion and is read at the conclusion of the Torah service. The Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah generally chant this section taken from Prophets, called the haftarah, the “conclusion.” Each selected reading is related in one way or another to the ideas in the particular Torah portion or to the time of the year.

Special blessings are recited before and after the haftarah is read. The blessing before the reading stresses the divine inspiration of the prophets. After the haftarah reading, the reader thanks God for giving Torah, Shabbat, Israel, and the prophets, and for the chance to pray.

The haftarah reading is central to Saturday morning Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremonies.

What is a D’var Torah ?

During the Shabbat morning service, each Bar and Bat Mitzvah prepares and presents a D’var Torah, an interpretation or mini-sermon that includes an evaluation of the weekly Torah reading, the Haftarah, and some personal observations on Bar or Bat Mitzvah. It is prepared by the students themselves, working closely with Rabbi Appel for about six months. It is a demonstration of the Bar and Bat Mitzvah’s immersion in the texts they have prepared for their ceremony, and the first “adult” Torah study that they have completed.

What is a Drasha? In our congregation, parents of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah are also required to prepare and present a drasha (we call it, colloquially a drash) on the portion of the week for their child’s Bat or Bar Mitzvah. This interpretation can be prepared cooperatively with the child’s work, creating a true family learning experience. Materials and guidelines for the preparation of the drash will be sent about six weeks before the date of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Alternatively, a sibling or other relative may be asked to prepare and present the drash, which is read aloud on the Friday night of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Sabbath.

What role does the Bar or Bat Mitzvah play in the Friday night service?

In our congregation the Bat or Bar Mitzvah leads as much of the Friday night service as she or he is capable of leading, including the introductory Kabbalat Shabbat section – Psalms and hymns welcoming the Sabbath – and the Ma’ariv l’Shabbat, the evening service for the Sabbath. It is also expected for the parents of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah to come forward at the beginning of the service to light and bless the Sabbath candles, for a parent or relative to do the drash at the Friday night service, interpreting the Torah portion of the week, and for the family to sponsor the Oneg the Friday night before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

It is important to understand, however, that the B’nai Mitzvah family does not “own” the Friday night service. This is a normal Friday evening service and may include

participation by a particular grade of the Religious School, baby namings, the Avanim Band, guest speakers, and other elements of the religious life of our Temple.

How is a morning prayer service arranged?

A Rabbi was asked by his students, “What do you do before praying?” He answered, “I pray that I may be able to pray properly.” For most of us, praying with devotion is a challenge. To help us, the morning Jewish prayer service begins with meditations, songs, and blessings designed to create the proper mood in the mind of the worshipper. The length of the introductory sections called Birchot Hashachar & Pesukei d’zimrah varies from congregation to congregation.

The main portion of the service begins with a two sentence “Call to Prayer,” the Barechu (translated as Bless Adonai, Who is to be blessed!). In ancient times, the priests would sing this prayer over the walls of the Temple to call the people form the marketplace. Modern Jews sing or chant this same call at the beginning of the service.

The section that follows is called the “Shema and its Blessings.” There are two prayers before the Shema and one after it. The first prayer praises God as the creator of all things. The second speaks of the Covenant between God the Jewish people, emboidied in the document of Torah, which expresses God’s love for Israel as a people. The Shema itself includes biblical passages which tells what we must do to be part of the Jewish Covenant and what God promises in return. The prayer after the Shema, which includes the Mi Chamocha, highlights God’s power of redemption. This whole section of the prayer service emphasizes the Holy One’s relationship to Israel.

The next section of the service has several names. It is sometimes called the Shmoneh Esray, the eighteen Benedictions. It may also be called the Amidah, the “Standing Prayer”, since the prayer is said while standing. Most commonly, however, it is known as the Tefillah, “The Prayer,” because it serves as the central prayer of the service. The blessings in the Tefillah vary from one service to another, but their essential ingredient is the statement of the needs of the Jewish community and personal petitions. On Shabbat we are encouraged to appreciate what we already have, so the petitionary blessings are replaced by one blessing that thanks God for the gift of the Sabbath.

On days when we read publicly from the Torah scroll, a special service is inserted at this point for removing the Torah from the Holy Ark, reading it, hearing the haftarah portion (the reading, usually from the Prophets, on Shabbat and the Festivals), and then replacing the scroll in the Ark.

In our congregation, we then engage in a Torah Talk discussion on the portion of the week, an interactive study of the text and some commentaries with Rabbi Appel. The service concludes with several prayers and a closing hymn. One of these is the Alenu, a prayer for the perfection of the world. Another closing prayer is the “Mourner’s Prayer,” the Mourner’s Kaddish. This prayer was originally said only for sages who had died;

today it is recited by a mourner following the passing of a close relative and on the anniversary of a death. Remarkably, this prayer does not speak of death at all but rather praises God and asks for the speedy coming of the age of peace.

This is a simplified outline of a Jewish prayer service. Looking at the construction of the service, we perceive it moving in an intentional direction; we prepare to pray, we hear the call to formal prayer, we reflect on our living relationship with God, and – standing within that relationship – we petition for our communal and personal needs. We are drawn closer to God through our sacred texts, and then restored to ourselves. When we return to ourselves, we are to be changed. As it is said, “Those who rise from prayer better persons, their prayer is answered.”

Basic Requirements (Prerequisites)

In order to be eligible for Bar or Bat Mitzvah preparation at Temple Emanu-El, a student must meet the following requirements:

1. The student’s family must be members in good standing of Temple Emanu-El. (Only the Board of the Congregation has the power to allow exceptions to this rule.)

2. The student must have regularly attended Religious School (either at Temple Emanu-El or another synagogue religious school) for at least six years prior to the year of preparation for Bat or Bar Mitzvah. In certain special cases, tutoring over a period of time culminating in testing for a suitable knowledge level may be substituted.

3. The student must have regularly attended at least three years of Hebrew School (either at Temple Emanu-El or another synagogue religious school or day school) prior to the year of preparation for Bat or Bar Mitzvah.

4. Students and parents should understand that Bat and Bar Mitzvah is in addition to and not a substitute for Confirmation. Although formal Hebrew language training is reduced after the year of the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, students continue their Jewish education through Confirmation (10th grade) at Temple Emanu-El and at the Tucson High School for Jewish Studies (Hebrew High), through Graduation (12th grade).

Tucson High for Jewish Studies is a unique inter-congregational school program. It is both a serious academic and important social experience for Temple Emanu-El students. It meets on Tuesday evenings.

Candidates and their parents are asked to make a moral pledge thatall Bar/Bat Mitzvah students will continue formal Jewish education

through Confirmation at Temple Emanu-El.

We strongly encourage all students to continue their Jewish education through the 12 th grade of Tucson Hebrew High.

6. NOTE: If you are not “on track” with any of your children for Bar or Bat Mitzvah, please make an appointment with the Rabbi as soon as possible.

Scheduling a Bar or Bat Mitzvah

The Rabbi of the congregation will officiate at all Bat and Bar Mitzvah services at Temple Emanu-El. We welcome the participation of visiting Rabbis and Cantors who have a relationship with the family, and Rabbi Appel will be very pleased to coordinate that participation.

All scheduling of Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies is arranged by Rabbi Appel and requires her approval. Each Bat and Bar Mitzvah family should attend a Bar/Bat Mitzvah orientation meeting at least 12 to 18 months before the child’s 13th birthday in order to schedule a date for the ceremony. As an egalitarian, Reform synagogue Temple Emanu-El celebrates both Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies at the age of 13.

For religious, congregational and community reasons, we do not schedule Bat and Bar Mitzvah ceremonies during these Jewish holidays: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Purim and the 9th of Av. In general, we do not schedule Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies during Thanksgiving weekend and the last ten days of the year. Except in cases of extraordinary educational disability, Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies will include significant participation in both Friday night and Saturday morning services.

In keeping with our philosophy of inclusion, we expect all of the Bat and Bar Mitzvah students to invite all of their classmates to the ceremonies and to any party that will take place in celebration of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Therefore, when planning this event, you should include all Sunday School and Hebrew School classmates in your child’s class. A copy of this list with names and addresses will be made available to you by the Religious School closer to the time of your child’s event.

Bar or Bat Mitzvah Orientation MeetingsTemple Emanu-El will hold a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Orientation Meeting with the clergy and professional staff twice annually. Parents and Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates need to attend at least one of those meetings at least one year before the event. These meetings will include final scheduling arrangements, information on educational procedures, coordination of the parental chavurah that assists with the post-ceremony kiddush, fee schedules, and other important information pertaining to B'nai Mitzvah.

In addition, approximately one year prior to the Bat or Bar Mitzvah, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and parent(s) must meet with Rabbi Appel privately to sign the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Brit, the Covenant Contract at the end of this booklet.

Educational Requirements

Rabbi Appel supervises all Bat and Bar Mitzvah preparations at Temple Emanu-El, and makes the final determination on every aspect of the student’s participation in the ceremony. These are the educational requirements for all Bar and Bat Mitzvah students at Temple Emanu-El:

1. In addition to continuing attendance at Hebrew and Religious School, all Bar and Bat Mitzvah students will have a weekly lesson with Cantorial Soloist Marjorie Hochberg and Rabbi Appel. This lesson must be scheduled directly with Marjorie Hochberg or with Rabbi Appel. Twelve months--one full year--before the Bat or Bar Mitzvah students need to begin working with Marjorie Hochberg. Five months before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah students need to begin studying with Rabbi Appel. The work with Rabbi Appel will include the preparation of a Bat or Bar Mitzvah speech.

2. For the first six months of preparation, each Bat and Bar Mitzvah student must practice for one half hour every day, working to complete the assignments on the written assignment sheet which Marjorie or our rabbi gives them each week. For the final six months of preparation, each Bar and Bat Mitzvah student must practice for one hour every day.

The best educational results occur when parents demonstrate involvement, caring and concern by supporting their children’s work. You do not need to know Hebrew or the service to verify that your child is practicing and making progress, or to help her or him with speech preparation.

3. B’nai Mitzvah candidates and their parents are required to attend and help lead a minimum of three Shabbat evening and three Shabbat morning services per month during the year leading up to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Your ability to relax and enjoy the experience is related to your familiarity with the ritual process. This means that regular Shabbat service attendance is a central part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process. Please be aware of this and plan for it. Children who attend services regularly with their parents are essentially guaranteed a great bar or bat mitzvah experience. Those who, for whatever reason, do not come as regularly will not have the same quality process.

4. Approximately ten days prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the family and the officiating rabbi will hold a final rehearsal to go over the Friday night and Saturday morning services during the Bar or Bat Mitzvah weekend. Parents must be present for this rehearsal, which will take approximately two hours. This should be scheduled at least eight weeks before the Bat or Bar Mitzvah.

Practical Requirements for the Family and Honors at Services

1. Honors at Services

The honors available for family and friends during the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service include:A. Seven Aliyot (chanting the blessing in Hebrew before and after each reading

of the Torah.) This honor can be given to 1, 2 or even 3 people on each Aliyah. The 7th Aliyah is the Bar or Bat Mitzvah Aliyah. Typically, the parent(s) of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah have the honor of the sixth Aliyah. All Aliyah honorees must be Jewish and at least 13 years old.

B. The translation of the Torah reading in English for each of the 7 Aliyot. These 5 honorees (again, typically the Bar/Bat Mitzvah has the 7 th Aliyah and the parent(s) have the 6th Aliyah) who are translating the Torah need not be Jewish, and this honor can also be shared by 2 people if you wish.

C. Opening and Closing of the Ark - At least 2 people can be honored by inviting them to open and close the Ark. There are 2 separate honors here (opening and closing), and you can invite as many as 4 people for each. Children often perform this honor.

D. Hagbah (lifting) and Gelilah (dressing) the Torah. One fairly robust person is honored to raise the Torah and one not-necessarily-as-robust-person dresses the Torah. They both must be Jewish. Children may assist in dressing the Torah.

E. The family may request that a particular Board Member make the presentation to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

F. Any other distribution of honors should be arranged with the officiating Rabbi.

2. Honors Rehearsal Saturday Morning

All of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service participants must meet with Cantorial Soloist Marjorie Hochberg at 8:45 am on the morning of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah for a mandatory rehearsal of the rituals related to the Torah Service. This rehearsal will give all participants an opportunity to practice opening and closing the Ark, chanting the Torah blessings, and learning the minhag (customs) related to the Torah Service at Temple Emanu-El.

3. Honoree Information

Please provide a completed Honor Sheet including names and relationships of all honorees to the Rabbinic Executive Assistant, three (3) weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Also include full Hebrew names for those chanting an aliyah during the Torah Service. At this time, we will need any other information you would like included in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service leaflet.

4. Announcements and Bar/Bat Mitzvah Photo

A head shot of the student, preferably color, should be provided to the Arizona Jewish Post at least eight (8) weeks in advance of the service.

5. Ushers

Three or four ushers are needed to greet worshippers at the Sanctuary entrance and distribute service leaflets at least 30 minutes before services begin on the Saturday of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. One adult should be assigned to be the “Head Usher” (the Adult Usher should also monitor the behavior of teenage guests at the service). Classmates may be included. Ushers may be seated shortly after the service begins. Ushers will also accept gifts intended for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

The names of the ushers should be given to the Rabbinic Executive Assistant at least three (3) weeks prior to the service so they may be included in the service leaflet.

TUTORING

While most students receive complete preparation for Bar or Bat Mitzvah through our congregational program, some children may need extra assistance. Where the family has the financial ability, private tutoring by a competent, qualified tutor working closely under the Rabbi or Marjorie Hochberg’s consent and direct supervision is beneficial. If you are considering using a tutor, make an appointment with Rabbi Appel or Marjorie Hochberg in advance to arrange precisely what materials your child should be working on.

Rabbi Appel is responsible for the content and quality of all religious services at Temple Emanu-El, and has control over that content, including that of Bat and Bar Mitzvah services, Torah readings, Haftarot, and drashot (speeches).

Postponement

Occasionally, and only under the most extreme circumstances, it becomes necessary to postpone a Bar or Bat Mitzvah due to slow progress on the student’s part. If so, the Rabbi will inform you well in advance.

Supplies and Fees1. Student’s families need to have the following materials for the first

lesson with Marjorie Hochberg:

a) An mp3 player or CD player that the student can use to work on his or her Torah, Haftarah and service preparation, and to learn the prayers of the service.

b) A 3-ring binder

c) A backpack to hold all of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation materials.

d) The student should have access to a computer or word processor and email, or the parent should be willing to type up Bat and Bar Mitzvah preparation materials on a computer and email them to our rabbi.

2. The student fee for Bar and Bat Mitzvah year is $850 (this is in addition to and does not include the Religious and Hebrew School fee). This includes group and individual lessons for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year, books, CDs, other preparation materials, and kiddush setup.

The Mitzvah Project

In fulfilling the requirement incumbent on every adult Jew to strive to "repair the world" through the process of Tikkun Olam, each and every Bat and Bar Mitzvah student is obligated to complete a Mitzvah Project that works to improve the world through Social Action. Projects have ranged from assisting in feeding the hungry, to visiting the sick at hospitals on a regular basis, to collecting sunscreen for the homeless, to working on our Mitzvah Day, to tutoring in local schools.

Please remember that this is the child’s project, and that, while parents should help the child choose the most appropriate project, they should not do it for them.

Parents and B'nai Mitzvah should begin planning the Mitzvah Project early, preferably about nine months before the Bat or Bar Mitzvah. For assistance in choosing projects, each Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be paired with a member of our Social Action Committee. In addition, our Social Action Chair, Jill Rich (615-

8400), and Rabbi Batsheva Appel are excellent sources of information on effective Mitzvah Projects.

Donations

1. Almost all families choose to make a donation in honor of their child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah to the Rabbi’s and Cantorial Soloist’s Discretionary Funds. Our Executive Director can guide you in finding an appropriate amount.

2. Many families choose to show their appreciation to the congregation for the services rendered during this time of “Simcha.” They find that a happy time such as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, when one has been showered with gifts, is an appropriate occasion to thank the congregation of Temple Emanu-El.

3. There is an additional $50 charge for a Mishkan Tefilah (prayerbook) to be donated to the congregation in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. A book plate will be placed inside of the prayerbook with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s name and event date.

Congregational Obligations

Bar and Bat Mitzvah families are responsible for the following congregational obligations:DrashJust as the Bar or Bat Mitzvah is studying and writing an interpretation of the weekly portion, in our congregation, parents of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah are also required to prepare and present a drasha (we call it, colloquially a drash) on the portion of the week for their child’s Bat or Bar Mitzvah. This interpretation can be prepared cooperatively with the child’s work, creating a true family learning experience. Materials and guidelines for the preparation of the drash will be sent about six weeks before the date of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Alternatively, a sibling or other relative may be asked to prepare and present the drash, which is read aloud on the Friday night of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Sabbath.

Kiddush & OnegThe Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration can take many different forms. At its simplest, it is a se’udat mitzvah, a meal celebrating the fulfillment of a commandment, providing food and drink for the congregation. In our synagogue, the food that family and friends supply for both the Oneg Shabbat after Friday night services and the Kiddush after the Shabbat morning service should be kosher, in keeping with Jewish dietary laws. This is most easily accomplished by including no meat or poultry products in the meal (dairy products and fish – but not shellfish – are fine).

Communal Obligations

1. Each Bar and Bat Mitzvah family is responsible for the Oneg Shabbat celebration the Friday night before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service. The Oneg Shabbat can be fairly simple or quite elaborate. You may either provide your own baked goods or arrange with the Temple to have the baked goods provided for you. Contact our Executive Director at 327-4501 approximately three months before the event to discuss fees, facility, and other communal obligations and requirements. We will give you several options and suggestions for the Kiddush reception. We will discuss the number of guests you expect for the ceremony so a seating plan can be arranged, the location, type and expected duration of the Kiddush. We will also help you fill out the Event Preparation Form so that the custodial staff can set up for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Fees are on page 25.

2. Temple Emanu-El provides at no additional charge, challah, wine, tea and coffee, dishes, tables and chairs for up to 200 people for the Kiddush lunch immediately following the Shabbat morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. It is expected however, that you will sponsor the Kiddush lunch following the service. Most families have chosen to offer a dairy meal. For many years, Bar and Bat Mitzvah families have formed a Kiddush group, assisting one another with the work of each post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah Kiddush. Families have become close during this process, enriching the Bar and Bat Mitzvah experience for everyone (as well as reducing the work load for each family!). Typically, if you participate in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Kiddush group, the Kiddush is taken care of for you on the big day.

NOTE: No shellfish or pork products in any form may be used. We strongly suggest a dairy meal so that all those with dietary restrictions may comfortably eat here. We’re happy to suggest kosher caterers to you.

DRESS CODE

We always want you to feel welcome and comfortable in our services, but we expect that you will be present in a manner respectful of the Rubin Family Sanctuary and the Schlanger Chapel where most of those services are held. With respect for the holiness of our sacred space, we expect all B’nai Mitzvah students to dress appropriately. This is especially true when they are on the bimah helping lead services, which they frequently do while in the process of preparing for Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Here are a few guidelines for dress:

1. Please do not wear shorts.

2. Slacks are fine, but jeans are not appropriate unless they are black.3. Skirts need to be an appropriate length. If in doubt, wear leggings underneath,

or choose a different skirt. The hem of the skirt should rest at least below the fingertips. The children are sitting on a raised bimah, and any short skirt will be difficult to manage.

4. While this is a delicate subject, instructing children who are wearing skirts in the proper way to sit on the bimah (a raised place) is important. Please assist us by gently explaining this to your child.

5. Dress shirts or simple collared shirts—polo type—are appropriate to the bimah. Football and baseball shirts and jerseys, elaborate logo shirts, rock band t-shirts and so on are not.

6. Tank tops or spaghetti straps require a cover-up. A general rule of thumb is to wear a cover-up (cardigan, shrug, etc.) if the shoulders are showing.

7. While dress shoes are ideal, we realize that keeping a 12-year old in dress shoes can be an expensive and losing proposition. However, closed toe shoes—not flip flops or sandals—are expected. Baseball or soccer spikes or cleats are not appropriate for services.

8. On the bimah, boys are expected to wear kipot (yarmulkahs), which are available on the way into the sanctuary and chapel.

If you should have any questions, feel free to speak with the Rabbi ahead of time. And when in doubt as to propriety, it is probably best to choose another, safer outfit. A parenthetical note: on the holiday of Purim most of these rules don’t apply…

Facility Rental Information

Some families enjoy having a Shabbat dinner at Temple Emanu-El immediately before the Friday night service during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Sabbath. This is especially helpful for out-of-town guests, and can make for a relaxing and pleasurable Shabbat experience during a busy weekend. For rental information, contact our Executive Director, Donna Beyer, at the Temple office.

The facilities of our Temple are available, on a fee basis, to congregational families for pre- and post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations, including private receptions for friends and family before or after the service. The fee schedule is on page 26 of this booklet.

Tzedakah

One of the primary obligations of all Jews is tzedakah, the righteous provision of charity for those in need. MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger, offers Jewish Americans a vehicle through which they may add a rich dimension of public service to their private celebrations. Through MAZON, we voluntarily add 3% to the cost of our celebrations: a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, wedding or anniversary, a birthday, or any joyous occasion, as an offering to help defeat the scourge of hunger here at home and around the world.

Combined, our resources to relieve hunger and ultimately prevent it are powerful, but the direct cost to you is modest. Three percent (3%) of a food cost of $3,000 is $90; of $8,000, just $240; of $20,000, just $600. Think how meaningful it can be for a young person to know that a portion of his or her joy is set aside to include those in need – and that our joy is thereby increased. Think how meaningful it can be for all of us to know that our good times are also times of good. And above all, think how meaningful it is to bring food to those who have none.

MAZON does not undertake projects of its own. Instead, it funds specific projects proposed by operating agencies. MAZON dollars will be used wherever they can be most effectively employed, not only to alleviate hunger, but to end it. MAZON will, of course, be responsive to hunger among Jews, but in keeping with the best of our traditions, it will respond to all who are in need. You may simply send your tax-deductible check for 3% of the cost of your celebration to:

MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger1990 South Bundy Drive, Suite 260Los Angeles, CA 90025-5232

Project Ezra

Bat and Bar Mitzvah is also not an end of being called to the Torah to chant or for an Aliyah. Project Ezra is designed just for you, after the big day, and for the rest of your Jewish life. Any person who has become a Bat or Bar Mitzvah may be called on to chant Torah or Haftarah during selected Saturday services throughout the year. Ezra was the first person to regularly read Torah in public, and you have the opportunity to continue this meaningful tradition. Participants will receive the Tikkun text and a tape for self-study, with help available for questions. For further information, contact Andy Iventosch, 791-7440.

A Few Last Words

Flowers

A large floral arrangement in front of the speaking stand adds to the beauty of the pulpit. If fresh flowers are desired, they are provided by the family, in coordination with Oleg Shishkovskiy, Facility Manager. Call 327-4501.

Music

Any special musical arrangements should be made with Cantorial Soloist Marjorie Hochberg and Rabbi Appel at least one month in advance.

Guest Book

You may wish to have a guest book. It is best to have it available as people enter the sanctuary or the reception.

Pictures

Pictures may be taken after the service on Shabbat. They are not allowed during the actual service. Family pictures are not allowed past 9:30 am on Saturday morning. Frequently a photographer is asked to take photographs on the day of the rehearsal, or by pre-arrangement on another day of the week of the Bat or Bar Mitzvah.

DVD Recording

We have an in-house digital recording system; every Bar and Bat Mitzvah service is recorded using a fixed camera. The DVD will be available in the office one week after the service, and one copy is available to the family free of charge. Additional copies may be ordered by contacting our Facility Manager in the Temple Office. Families may, at their own expense, hire a videographer. In this case, the family will need to check with the Facility Manager as to restrictions during the service. Services are also streamed live on our website at tetucson.org.

Presentations

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is given a gift by Temple Emanu-El’s Women of Reform Judaism “Sisterhood” as well as a gift from the Men’s Club. Additionally, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah receives a complimentary one-year pass to the Jewish Community Center, and a $250 NFTY voucher toward a trip to Israel. These are presented along with a Certificate of B’nai Mitzvah from the congregation. The presentation is given by a member of the Board of Directors. You may personally ask a specific member of the Board to be the representative at your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Please let the Temple Board Secretary know if you have done this at least one month before the service.

Use of Kippah and a Tallit

In keeping with the ideals of Reform Judaism, Temple Emanu-El encourages each congregational family to find meaning and relevance in Jewish rituals. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family, therefore, has the option to wear either a kippah or tallit, or both. However, all B’nai Mitzvah must wear both a kippah (or other head covering) and a tallit . Usually, a family member presents the Bar or Bat Mitzvah with his or her tallit at the beginning of the service.

Rehearsal for Honors Participants

On the day of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, all participants in the service should arrive at the Temple an hour and a half before services for a dress rehearsal. The Bar or Bat Mitzvah should bring all necessary items (Haftarah portion, speech, tallit, etc.).

Administrative Information & Fees

All financial obligations to the Temple shall be current prior to the service. All costs will be explained to you during your meeting with our Executive Director Coordinator.

Fee Schedule

Student Fee for the Bat/Bar Mitzvah Year $850Seventh or Eighth Grade Tuition $550Registration Fee (before May 30, 2018) $50

(after May 30, 2018) $150

Our fees for Onegs and room rental arrangements are:Friday Night Oneg Sponsorship $300Friday Night Oneg Co-Sponsorship $150Friday Night Oneg Charge if Family Bakes $100

(30-40 dozen cookies)Friday Night Shabbat Dinner Board Room Rental* $250Friday Night Shabbat Dinner Sy Juster Rental* $400Sy Juster Room Rental for Party* $600Religious School Auditorium Room Rental for Party* $500 (whole)

$250 (one side)Candy (41 pieces/lb.) Sunkist Fruit Gels $8.00/lb.

*Rental fees are for the facility and setup, and do not include food.

Your Child’s Covenant

The commitment to become a Bat/Bar Mitzvah is one that we all take very seriously. Primary in that commitment is the continuation of Jewish education after Bat/Bar Mitzvah. A decision to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah at Temple Emanu-El is also a decision to continue with Religious School.

ACTIVITY TIME TABLE & CHECKLIST

PRIOR TO CEREMONY

Scheduling date for the ceremony 2 - 3 years

Orientation Meeting 12 - 18 months

Candidates and parents meet with Rabbi Appel c. 1 year

Begin individual studies with Cantorial Soloist c. 1 year

Half of B’nai mitzvah fee to be paid 6 months

Student chooses Mitzvah Project with Rabbi Appel 6 months& begins Mitzvah project

Candidate begins individual study with the Rabbi 5 months

Parents meet with Executive Director to discuss fees, 3 monthsfacility use, Oneg, and other requirements

B’nai mitzvah fee to be paid in full 3 months

Supply photograph to Arizona Jewish Post 10 weeks

Finalize Oneg & Kiddush plans with Executive Director 4 weeks

Submit list of participants in service and 3 weeksushers to the Rabbinic Executive Assistant

Family rehearsal with Rabbi / Cantorial Soloist 2 weeks

Family turns in Drash to Rabbinic Executive Assistant 2 weeks

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Honors Sheet

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Name __________________________ Date __________________

Tallit ___________________________________________ Portion__________________

Opening and closing the Ark when we remove the Torah: (English names only)

1. ______________________________________

2. ______________________________________

Generation to Generation: _______________________________________________

Aliyot English Name Hebrew Name Relationship to Bar/Bat Mitzvah Translation

1st – Rishon

2nd – Shei-nee

3rd – Shlishi

4th – R’vee-ee

5th – Ha-mi-shee

6th – Shi-shee (parents)

7th – Maftir (Bar/Bat Mitzvah)

Hagbaha (Torah lifter) __________________________________________________

G’lillah (Torah dresser) _________________________________________________

Board Representative (if you would like to request) ______________________________________

Ushers and greeters: ____________________________________

Opening and closing of the Ark when we replace the Torah

3. _________________________________________

4. _________________________________________

Bar and Bat Mitzvah BRIT(Covenant Contract)

I have read the Bar and Bat Mitzvah Handbook carefully and completely, and I understand it. In keeping with the Jewish belief Talmud Torah K’neged Kulam, "the study of Torah is equal to all other commandments", I agree to abide by the requirements of Temple Emanu-El with regard to Bar and Bat Mitzvah in study, preparation, and commitment. I agree to devote myself and my family to a life that emphasizes, encourages, and demonstrates Jewish study and practice.

Prospective Bar/Bat Mitzvah Name

_________________________Bar/ Bat Mitzvah Date

Bat/Bar Mitzvah Child Signature, Date

Bat/Bar Mitzvah Parent Signature, Date

Rabbi Signature, Date

President Signature, Date

Ritual Chair Signature, Date

Director of Education, Signature, Date

_________________________________________ Week to Start with Marjorie Hochberg

_______________________________________ Week to Start with Rabbi Appel