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May / june 2011 iyar / sivan 5771

Building Torat Yisrael’s Future Progress on Two Significant Processes I. Our Search For an Education Director Under the leadership of Barbara Karetny, chair of Torat Yisrael's Personnel Committee and Rachel Silverman, Chair of Torat Yisrael's School Committee, our open Education Director position has been publicized in both Rhode Island and southern Massachusetts. The ad describing the position indicated that successful candidates should have training in education and/or Judaic studies and should have teaching and/or educational administrative experience. Five candidates have expressed interest in this position. A search committee comprised of members of the Personnel Committee, the School

Committee, Susan Smoller and Rabbi Levin was formed. A preparatory meeting clarified the qualities we are looking for in our new Education Director and questions designed to provide candidates with the opportunity to present those qualities to the search committee were prepared. At this writing, in mid-April, the interview process has begun and the field of candidates has been narrowed down. At least one candidate will be invited to visit our school, meet our parents, faculty and students and sit with the committee for a second interview. We look forward to introducing Torat Yisrael's new Education Director to our congregational community and to the greater Rhode Island Jewish community later in the spring. II. Building in East Greenwich On April 7th the Building Committee, led by the committee's chairman, Andrew Sholes, opened bids from 14 construction companies. The committee compared the bids submitted by the companies and narrowed the field to a handful of the most promising proposals. Companies whose bids are not being considered have been notified. Negotiations have opened with the remaining companies in the hopes of coming up with a plan and a fee structure that will satisfy the company and meet our needs. The Building Committee is meeting in mid-May to compare the revised bids. The question of the hour is, of course: when will we start to build? There are a number of factors that will go into setting that date: we need to settle on a satisfactory agreement with one company, we need to draw up and sign the appropriate contractual documents. The company we ultimately engage will need to indicate when they are available to begin work on our project taking into consideration the projects they already have in hand. We will need to apply for and receive the appropriate bulding permits from the Town of East Greenwich. Cash flow is always a consideration at this stage of a project. Those of you who have made pledges to our Capital Campaign are asked to continue to make payments in fulfillment of your pledges as soon as that is possible for you. An additional pending issue for Torat Yisrael is the sale of our current building. As of this writing, we have received no formal offer on our building. There are a few organizations that have expressed serious interest and have visited our building a number of times. We are hopeful that we will receive a substantial offer in the coming months. III. Congregational Approvals Both the sale of an asset of our congregation, like our Cranston building, and the start of our actual building process, represent major decisions for Torat Yisrael that can only be made by the members of the congregation. As the groundwork for each of these issues is completed, they will each be brought to a congregational meeting for the members' consideration and vote

Greetings from Susan Smoller, President

Shalom Fellow Congregants, I hope you enjoyed a healthy Passover and enjoyed the once-a-year Passover food and treats. As we know, Ronni Guttin will be ending her career as our Educational

Director this year in order to allow her time to dedicate

to her other career as Camp Director of JORI and to her family. I hope that many of you will join me in wishing her well and also at the graduation of our Cohen Religious School graduates, the morning of May 22. This celebration and reluctant farewell will take place at the Cohen Religious School campus at the Village Lower School at 2220 South County Trail in East Greenwich. The event will begin at 9am and refreshments will be served.

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The Membership Committee, under the Chair of Beth Salk and Michael Field, has arranged for an open house on June 12. This will take place both at the school and at the house in East Greenwich. Please talk to your families and friends and invite them to join us that morning to find out more about joining the Torat Yisrael family. It would be great to expand our family

to include more congregants who can also enjoy all that we have to offer. As the weather improves and I am outside more, I hope to see you in my travels!

Please contact me at any time with any comments or questions.

B’Shalom, Susan

Kesher Corner: Andrea Epstein, LICSW Andrea serves Torat Yisrael’s members through Kesher, a joint project of the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island, the Bernhardt Foundation, and Jewish Family Service. She can be reached at (401) 369-0160 or andrea@toratyisrael.org.

Good Grief

Once again Torat Yisrael members have provided me with a great idea for a Kesher column: Grief. Almost all of us will experience grief at some point in our lives. It often brings people together and yet, I think most of us would acknowledge that grieving is a very personal experience. Understanding more about grief and the grieving process may help us be supportive of ourselves and of one another when the death of a loved one occurs.

Stages of grief were first described by death and grief pioneer Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. in the late 1960s. This opened a nationwide conversation into the largely taboo topic at the time about death and dying. While the stages were not meant to be chronological, they gave many mourners a way to talk about their experiences and benchmarks within their process. The stages, as outlined by Kubler Ross are: denial, anger, bargaining (for a different outcome), depression, and acceptance. Interestingly what is becoming clear from current trends in research is that the five stage model may not be the most accurate way to look at the grieving process.

Recent research by George A. Bonanno, Ph.D. indicates that grief is not only highly personal but it is highly variable. We do not all grieve the same way. Dr. Bonanno admits that it may be comforting for mourners to have clearly delineated stages. In his writing on the topic though, he speaks about findings that indicate that the vast majority of the population exhibit enormous resilience in their grieving process.

He speaks specifically to the idea that there is not a "normal" way to grieve and that, in fact, sadness is often intermingled with feeling fine. Substantial fluctuations between the two states were noted as well. One of the more surprising findings was the unexpected feelings of joy reported by those who were also grieving.

These findings on positive emotions among the grieving are echoed as well in the work of Camille Wortman, Ph.D. She points out that both positive and negative emotions can exist side by side and that positive emotions like gratitude, pride, hope and love are especially important in helping to balance out feelings like depression, anxiety, anger, and guilt that those who are grieving may experience. Additionally, Dr. Wortman found that positive emotions give mourners respite and time to recharge. She sites two ways that positive emotions can possibly be enhanced for mourners: engagement in activity (even for a short while) and focusing on what matters in the present.

These findings certainly give weight to the idea of letting people mourn the way they need to- even if it doesn’t look like one might expect. Knowing that engaging in activity, especially enjoyable activity, lends a possible road map to those in mourning and those wanting to support those in mourning. This new research can give us something to aim for and removes judgment from the grieving process.

Please note that Dr. Bonanno also describes a minority of mourners who have either “prolonged grief”- an extreme and lengthy grieving process, or exhibit a “recovery pattern”- intense initial grief followed by acting like they did before the loss but feeling hurt indefinitely. If either of these describes you or someone who care about please understand that further assessment and intervention may be indicated.

If you have concerns, questions, or just want to talk about mourning I am available CONFIDENTIALLY through the Kesher program: Andrea Epstein, LICSW (401) 369-0160 or andrea@templetorat.org. Ideas for newsletters are always appreciated!

Please note as well that Temple Torat Yisrael has an ongoing Bereavement Discussion Group on alternate Thursday evenings that is open to both members and non-members.

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The Cohen School News Dear Torat Yisrael Families: At this time of year, we welcome the springtime, mark the changes in the earth, gather together as families to celebrate, and mark lifestyle changes like commencement and promotions to new grades and new schools. At the Cohen

School, we have just celebrated our first student this year becoming a Bar Mitzvah and are preparing for religious school graduation as we honor 3 graduates from our school, Aaron Tessier, Elijah Coke, and Jessica Beckenstein. Graduation will take place on May 22nd as part of our Lag B'Omer celebration at The Village Lower School. We look forward to celebrating with all of you. At this time of year, other transitions also take place. It is my turn to express a huge thank you to the Cohen School families and to the entire Torat Yisrael community. I am honored to have been a part of the

Cohen School for my entire adult life. My career in Jewish Education began more than 30 years ago as a teacher at Temple Torat Yisrael. My husband and I were married at Torat Yisrael, and my children were all educated in The Cohen School. As this school year comes to a close, I thank our Torat Yisrael family for allowing me to join you in the education of our children, and for the privilege of being a part of The Cohen School community. As the school has grown, it deserves a leader who has the time to bring it to it's potential. My career in Jewish education began at Temple Torat Yisrael and built the foundation for my professional present and future. As the executive director of Camp JORI, I use the skills I have learned with all of you, and continue to hone my abilities. I look forward to sharing the continuing maturity of your children as they progress through The Cohen School. With affection, Ronni

Librarian’s Corner by Laura Steele, Torat Yisrael Librarian The Free World: A Novel written by David Bezmozgis has been highlighted as a must read by Barnes and Noble. This is a family saga in which one daughter, Polina, has left her devoted, upright husband for Alec, a smooth-talking womanizer now eyeing a teenage girl. Responsible older brother Karl has big dreams but helps the family survive by getting involved in a shady business. Family patriarch Samuil, who still mourns a brother lost in World War II, remains firmly secular even as his wife drifts toward the family’s Jewish heritage. Sounds like your typical family problems, but the Krasnanskys are Soviet Jews who have fled to the West (it’s 1978), and the miracle of this debut novel is how effectively Bezmozgis (Natasha: And Other Stories) captures both the family’s recognizable tensions and the particular difficulties of the Soviet émigré experience. Staunch Communist Samuil, for instance, contravened his convictions to emigrate and remain with his family, while Polina will never see hers again. Having opted not to go to Israel, the Krasnanskys find themselves in Rome, struggling to arrange visas to the United States or Canada. Bezmozgis fills their wait with carefully nuanced anguish and hope. Bezmozgis proves why he was recently proclaimed one of The New Yorker’s 20 Under 40; this is mellifluous, utterly captivating writing, and you’ll live with the Krasnansky family as if it were your own. This is a highly recommended new read. Enjoy!!! Make Your Donations to Torat Yisrael On Line! Supporting our Torat Yisrael community has become easier than ever. You’ll find a link to a “Donations” page on the main menu on our Torat Yisrael website (www.toratyisrael.org). The links on the donation page will take you to the secure www.justgive.org website. When you open a free account with Just Give you will be able to donate to Torat Yisrael on line and you will also receive an on line receipt for every donation you make as well as an end of the year summary of all the charitable donations you have made to Torat Yisrael during the course of the year to make your tax preparation easier.

College Scholarships for Students Who Are Rhode Island Residents The National Council of Jewish Women, RI section will be awarding scholarships to students attending college in the fall of 2011 who are RI residents. Grants will be awarded based on evidence of involvement in community service, academic worthiness and financial need. Students desiring applications should write to Estelle Fradin, 130 Deerfield Road, Cranston RI 02920 or call (401) 942-4486. The deadline for requesting applications is May 18, 2011

In Our TY Family Mazal tov to everyone celebrating a Birthday in May! Laura Kavanagh, Ronitte Vilker, Riley Miller, Samuel Bresky, Joshua Hill, David Wasser, Stacey Weisman, Carlos Goncalves, Ellen Golden, Lynn Field, Sarah Steele, Joel Westerman, Alan Field, Michael Field, Harvey Rappoport, Leon Resnick, Ilene Bojar, Ethan Kaplan, Zachary Kaplan, Frank Kosofsky, Barry Gilstein, Susan Smoller, Jennifer Berman, Jeffrey Salk, Pearl Gorden, Marc Davis, Charles Ziegler, Lawrence Wacks and Ronni Peltz

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Mazal tov to everyone celebrating an Anniversary in May! Robert & Laura Sidman (21 years), Michael & Sharon Field (37 years), Barry & Ellen Golden (23 years), Nathan & Martha Lury (61 years), Jeffrey & Joan Bookbinder (12 years), James & Sylvia Shocket (70 years) and Jeffrey & Cynthia Davis (30 years) Mazal tov to Josh Greenberg, son of Diane Greenberg, on being recognized at the Providence College vs. Notre Dame basketball game at the Dunkin Donut Center for his years of volunteer service to the PC Athletic Department! Josh was awarded a “11” PC jersey for his graduation year! Mazal tov to Geoffrey and Katy Claussen on their birth of their new daughter, Talya Adele!! Talya was born on March 16th weighing in at 8 lbs., 7 oz. She has a proud big sister, Eliana! Congratulations to all! Mazal tov to Eddye Golden who will be attending Emory University in Atlanta this coming academic year. Eddye has been a much loved teacher’s assistant at our Cohen Religious School the last two years and we know that our students are going to miss her very much.

May God who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bring blessing and healing to: Trude Antin, Pearl Gorden, Douglas & Barbara Greenberg (Diane Greenberg’s brother-in-law & sister-in-law), Myer Grossman, Harriet Landesberg, Bonnie Lury, Lois Lury, Morton & Sylvia Paige, Zenas & Sara Pulner, Ron Richter, Harold & Sylvia Roggen (Barbara Karetny’s parents), Louis Russian, Sylvia & Jimmy Shocket, Steve Tragar, Moe Wine and Eileen Winkler (Rochelle Ziegler’s mother) An Open Letter from Marcia Slobin and Family Dear Temple Torat Yisrael Family, We want to thank everyone for your support on the loss of our father Myron Slobin. The outpouring of people at the funeral, the beautiful job that Rabbi Levin did at the funeral and the Shiva was enormous. Marcia was afraid of being alone the third night for we both had to go back home and thanks to your Torat Yisrael community Marcia was not alone. We felt that we had an extended family through the Torat Yisrael. TY may be a small congregation but you are certainly a family and an extended community in a time of need. On a personal note, Marcia would like to thank everyone for the continued support. Shalom, Marcia, Neal, and Wendy (children of Myron Slobin)

Temple Torat Yisrael Email Addresses, Facebook and Twitter Rabbi Amy Levin: rabbi@toratyisrael.org Hazzan Devin Goldenberg: hazzan@toratyisrael.org Susan Smoller, President: president@toratyisrael.org Ronni Guttin, Education Director: ronni@toratyisrael.org Andrea Epstein, Social Worker: andrea@toratyisrael.org Anita Olinsky (Dues Committee): dues@toratyisrael.org welcome@toratyisrael.org - Michael Field/Beth Salk (Membership Committee Chairs) facebook@toratyisrael.org twitter@toratyisrael.org and @ravlevin Sheryl Ponder, Bookkeeper/Office Manager: sheryl@toratyisrael.org Stephanie Reinsant, Rabbi’s Secretary: stephanie@toratyisrael.org

Hug N’hamah: Circle of Consolation A Bereavement Discussion Group meeting on alternate Thursday evenings at 7:30 pm providing a supportive circle to bring the emotional and spiritual challenges of grief. Facilitated by Torat Yisrael

member, Dr. Judith Lubiner, a licensed psychologist, and Rabbi Amy Levin. TY members and non-members equally welcome. Meeting May 12th and 26th and June 16th and 30th.

Knit and Kvetch in Cranston and East Greenwich Join Temple Torat Yisrael’s knitting circle from 9:00 am – 12:00 pm - TTY Cranston: May 1st - East Greenwich (Village Lower School): May 22nd Share your knowledge of knitting, crocheting, embroidering and needle-pointing. For more information, please contact Lynn Field (lmfield593@gmail.com) or Beverly Goncalves (bevsue66@verizon.net).

Blood Drive in Cranston Another opportunity to observe the mitzvah of Pikuach Nefesh (Saving a Life): blood drive will take place on Sunday, May 1st from 8:30 am – 12:30 pm.

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Annual Spring Bazaar!! We’re having a Spring Bazaar on Sunday, May 1st from 10:00 am – 3:00 pm in Cranston. Jewelry, Hand-Blown Glass, Bake Sale, Wickless Candles and more! For more information, please call Elaine at 338-1690.

Shabbat in East Greenwich: Friday Evening:, Shabbat Yachad: Guest Speaker: John Torgan, Save the Bay Friday, May 6th: Services at 6:00 pm. Dinner and speaker at 7:00 pm. Cost: $10 adult / $5 child 10-18 / Children under 10 Free / Family maximum $30. Please RSVP to the TY office by May 2nd; 785-1800 / Stephanie@toratyisrael.org.

Saturday, May 7th: Shabbat Services at 9:15 am.

Shavuot Pie and Cake Sale The Sisterhood is having a Pie & Cake Sale! All items are Kosher Dairy. Proceeds to benefit the Capital Campaign and Social Action Activities. Order deadline is Tuesday, May 10th. Pick up in both Cranston and East Greenwich locations on Sunday, June 5th. For more information please contact Beverly Goncalves at 714-9297.

Shalom to Shabbat: Unwind and Nosh Before Shabbat Services in Cranston Friday, May 13th, 7:00 pm: wine, cheese and a nice schmooze before our 7:30 pm Shabbat Service.

Our May Topic: God in our Lives: Illness and Healing East Greenwich: Tuesday, May 17th 12:00-1:30 p.m. – Lunch & Learn at T’s Restaurant, 5600 Post Road (in the Benny’s Plaza), East Greenwich – each participant orders from the menu and we study Jewish sources addressing current

issues. Everyone is welcome, bring a friend! Cranston/Warwick: Thursday, May 19th 12:00-1:30 p.m. – Lunch & Learn at the Cozy Grill Restaurant, 440 Warwick Avenue, Warwick – each participant orders from the menu as we study Jewish sources. Everyone is welcome, bring a friend! Look for us in the back room!

East Greenwich Shabbat: May 20-21 Friday 6:00 pm early Shabbat Service for all. Enjoy an early Shabbat service and then arrange for a relaxed Shabbat meal at home with your family and friends. Saturday, May 21st at 10:00 am. Shabbat Family Experience: 10 am interactive service; 11:00 am family-friendly Kiddush lunch immediately following.

Schmooze with Booze: Our May topic: Jews and Animals: Domination and Compassion An opportunity for informal study and discussion with Rabbi Amy Levin over wine, beer, something softer, some good munchies and an interesting topic.

Wednesday evening, May 25th from 7:00 pm – 8:30 pm at our East Greenwich house to schmooze with booze!

Shabbat in East Greenwich: Friday Evening:, Shabbat Yachad: Guest Speaker: Our Own Meredith Karetny! Speaking about her work in the David Project. a non-profit organization dedicated to educating and inspiring strong voices for Israel through dynamic educational seminars, workshops, and curricula. Friday, June 3rd: Services at 6:00 pm. Dinner and speaker at 7:00 pm. Cost: $10 adult / $5 child 10-18 / Children under 10 Free / Family maximum $30. Please RSVP to the TY office by May 31st; 785-1800 / Stephanie@toratyisrael.org.

Saturday, June 4th: Shabbat Services at 9:15 am.

Shavuot Tuesday, June 7 / 5 Sivan: Dedication of our new High Holiday Prayer Book, Mahzor Lev Shalem, and Dessert Reception in honor of the Sholes Family. Tikkun Leil Shavuot Study session will highlight text and music based on our new mahzor. Rabbi Levin and Hazzan Goldenberg will lead services and teach following the dessert reception. 7:30 pm Shavuot Service followed by dairy dessert break and Tikkun Leil Shavuot. Thursday, June 9 / 7 Sivan: 9:00 am Shavuot and Yizkor Service

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Shalom to Shabbat: Unwind and Nosh Before Shabbat Services in Cranston Friday, June 10th, 7:00 pm: wine, cheese and a nice schmooze before our 7:30 pm Shabbat Service. East Greenwich Shabbat: June 17-18 Friday 6:00 pm early Shabbat Service for all. Enjoy an early Shabbat service and then arrange for a relaxed Shabbat meal at home with your family and friends. Saturday, June 18th at 10:00 am. (1 hour interactive learning service) Our June Topic: Jewish Accessories: The Back Story of Tallit, Kippah and Tefillin

East Greenwich: Tuesday, June 21st 12:00-1:30 p.m. – Lunch & Learn at T’s Restaurant, 5600 Post Road (in the Benny’s Plaza), East Greenwich – each participant orders from the menu and we study Jewish sources addressing current issues. Everyone is welcome, bring a friend!

Cranston/Warwick: Thursday, June 23rd 12:00-1:30 p.m. – Lunch & Learn at the Cozy Grill Restaurant, 440 Warwick Avenue, Warwick – each participant orders from the menu as we study Jewish sources. Everyone is welcome, bring a friend! Look for us in the back room!

Thank you, Torat Yisrael Volunteers! We’ve got a special Shabbat just for you! Our Torat Yisrael Family will come together on Friday evening, June 24th at 7:30 pm to celebrate our huge cadre of volunteers. Festive Oneg Shabbat to follow services. You’ve planned great programs, run great services, produced great printed materials, taken care of our finances and our land purchase, you’ve helped us donate food and blood, you’ve fed us and entertained us, you’ve nurtured our children and helped our office run smoothly, you’ve stuffed envelopes and set tables . . . and more! Now we’re inviting you to an evening of appreciation. This is an evening for all of us to enjoy: to appreciate and to be appreciated. Annual Congregational Meeting Please join us for our annual congregational meeting on Tuesday, June 28th. Refreshments will be served at 6:30 pm and we will start the meeting at 7:00 pm. Everyone’s attendance is very important.

Schmooze with Booze: Our June Topic: “Choosing Jewish: Conversion in Judaism An opportunity for informal study and discussion with Rabbi Amy Levin over wine, beer, something softer, some good munchies and an interesting topic.

Wednesday evening, June 29th from 7:00 pm – 8:30 pm at our East Greenwich house to schmooze with booze!