Learning to thrive in the midst of loss

Matt 5:4Blessed are those who mourn,    for they will be comforted.

1. Stages of grief during loss

a. Shock Denial (2-3 months) “Is this really happening to me?”

Flipping back and forth between emotional expression and total rejection

of reality

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so

that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we

are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same

sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

1 Peter 4:12-1312 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were

happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed

when his glory is revealed.

1 Samuel 30:1-6David and his men reached Ziklag on the third day. Now the Amalekites had raided the Negev and Ziklag. They

had attacked Ziklag and burned it, 2 and had taken captive the women and everyone else in it, both young and old. They killed none of them, but carried them off as they

went on their way.3 When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it

destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. 4 So David and his men wept aloud until

they had no strength left to weep. 5 David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter

in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.

b. Obsessive Intense concern (6mos-1 year)

Unable to think about anything else

Isaiah 43:1-4 But now, this is what the LORD says—

    he who created you, Jacob,    he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,    they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;    the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD your God,    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,    Cush and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,    and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,    nations in exchange for your life.

Psalm 18:4-64 The cords of death entangled me;

    the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave coiled around me;    the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;    I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;    my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalm 18:28You, LORD, keep my lamp burning;

    my God turns my darkness into light.

c. Despair and depression-Long periods of grief

Gradually come to terms with the loss

Periods of irrational behaviors…anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety, etc.

Psalm 46:1-2 1 God is our refuge and strength,

    an ever-present help in trouble.2 Therefore we will not fear, though the

earth give way    and the mountains fall into the heart of

the sea,

Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this:    Your promise preserves my life.

d. Recovery-The possibility of life without the beloved and acceptance of the loss.

One reorganizes their life so that pain and loss

are an important part of living….But not at the center of their living

Romans 5:3-5 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our

sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to

shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

James 1:2-4 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and

sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you

may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.