man boy - the proposal part 1

8/4/2019 Man Boy - The Proposal Part 1

1/12

EXT. MANNIES HOUSE - MORNING

Jims 1988 Yugo is parked alongside Sams purple SchwinnBicycle with banana.

INT. MANNIES LIVING ROOM - MORNING CONTINUOS

Jim sits on the sofa watching Sam give a presentation beforea blank easel.

SAMI'd like to thank everyone for comingthis morning, but since I have no ideawhy I'm here, I'll turn the floor over tomy irregular but favorite cousin here,Mannie Boyle.

Sam claps excitedly and joins Jim on the sofa. Mannie enters.

Pacing in front of the easel, MILITARY STYLED music plays asMannie talks.

MANNIEWell the reason I called you all heretoday is because we three share a commonenemy. A foe so dastardly it's going totake all our cunning to eject them fromour lives and the lives of everyone atlocal middle.

Jim lunges. Sam holds him back. The music skips to a halt.

JIMAre you talking about my mother?

Jim struggles to break Sams grip.

JIM (CONTD)My mother?! Ill kill you!

MANNIENo, Its not your mother Jim, geeze,Where do you come up with this stuff?

JIMIm sorry, I get a bit testy whenmothers brought up.

Jim straightens his garments.

SAMPardon my intrusion, but your mother wasnever...


2/12

Jim pulls out a switch blade.

JIMOne more word out of you and its slicedham for dinner, Porky.

Sam backs down timidly.

SAMNever mind.

Mannie clears his throat.

MANNIEFocus people...

Mannie flips up the easel to reveal Chelseas picture. Samseyes go wide with panic.

He slowly backs away from the picture of his tormentor,protesting whatever is to come next.

SAMNah uh... no way.

Sam runs for the door.

MANNIEJim?

JIMGot him.

Jim blocks door. Sam runs into him, Sam strugglesfrantically.

SAMRelease me you slippery buffoon! I don'twant to die! And you can't make me!

MANNIEWill you calm down? I have a plan.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANNIES HOUSE - DAY

Jim and Mannie struggle with getting Sam to the car. Acrossthe street is a parked MOVING TRUCK. MARTY STRYKER, anattractive yet abrasive low level Talent agent to local wantto be celebrities, supervises the movers.

MARTYWhoa, what the hell is that?

Man Boy "The Proposal" 2.


3/12

Marty whips out his cell phone

MARTY (CONTD)Yeah, Local City Real Estate please? Hey,Gregory quick question for you, you

didn't sell me a house that was builtnear some sort of Indian burial ground ornuclear power plant did you?

Across the street, Jim is trying to force Sam into the car.Jim sweats more than usual at this exertion of strength,causing puddles to form under is feet. Mannie takes a fewsteps back and charges Jim.

Success! Both Sam and Jim tumble into the car.

Mannie, however, slips and lands face first in Jims bodilysecretions.

MANNIEAwwwwww shi...

JUMP CUT TO:

Movers drop boxes CRASH. Marty stares across the street indisbelief. The trio drive off, Jim waves.

MARTYThat's got to be the ugliest male on malecouple I've ever seen.

FADE TO:

OPENING CREDITS

EXT. LOCAL MIDDLE SCHOOL - MORNING

Kids file into the school chatting and playing. A random kidmischievously pees on the flag pole. A teacher snatches himup by the collar.

INT. HALL/OUTSIDE OF ALBINO JONS LOCKER - MORNING CONTINUOS

Mannie talks through the locker door.

ALBINO JON (O.S.)(Raspy)

And the plan has been put into motion aswe planned?

MANNIEYup, Sam took a bit of convincing butJim's already set to go, you sure thiscan work?



4/12

There is a SLAM of fist against metal.

ALBINO JON (O.S.)(Raspy)

It has to! For the good of all man kind

Chelsea has to die...

MANNIEYou do realize thats not in the planright?

ALBINO JON (O.S.)(Normal voice)

Its not? I could have sworn I made anamendment here somewhere...

Pages SHUFFLE as if a book is being rifled through.

ALBINO JON (O.S.) (CONTD)(Normal voice)

Oh, wrong plan... Say, how do you feelabout taking care of that God awfulJersey Shore cast next?

INT. JIMS HISTORY CLASS - DAY

Kids sit bored to tears in class. Some nod off, others textfriends thats right next to them.

JIMPop quiz, everyone pay attention, we'regoing to shake things up a bit and getsome blood pumping!

FEMALE STUDENTYou're not going to need to like, touchus or anything; are you?

JIMNo Susan, at your age, nine times out often I'd go to jail for that... Noweveryone stand up, when I call on you,you get to answer a question, get it

right- you pass and sit down, get itwrong and even the most simple of youknow what that means.

CHELSEANo, what does it mean Wet Willy?

Students laugh at the joke but stand up as theyre told.

JIMOh, you'll find out soon enough, Chelsea.



5/12

EXT. LOCAL MIDDLE SCHOOL COURT YARD - DAY

Mannie enters the court yard and leans against the flag pole.He checks his watch.

MANNIESam?? Sam?! Where the hell are you?

SAM (O.S.)Uh... I seem to be having quite thedifficult time freeing myself from uphere.

Mannie looks up to see Sam duct taped to the top of the flagpole.

MANNIEThere you are, I thought we were having

an eclipse.

SAMVery comical. Just get me down.

Mannie unties the line. Sam falls and lands waist deep inmud, legs straight up.

SAM (CONTD)You can see now why I'm hesitant to jointhis suicide mission of yours?

MANNIEChelsea did this?

Mannie helps Sam up.

SAMDid Chelsea do this?!

Sams eyes bulge as he launches into a rant unbecoming of hisusual mild mannered, happy nature.

SAM (CONTD)I couldnt do it to myself! Hell I run

out of breath masturbating, climbing afreaking flag pole is out of the freakingquestion! Any more brilliant inquiries,Einstein?!?

MANNIEAll the more reason to get rid of him.Come on, lets go.



6/12


Everyone in class is sitting except Chelsea, Jim is seatedwith his feet up on the desk, exasperated.

JIMFor the 34th and final time Chelsea, Whowas the first president of the UnitedStates of America?

CHELSEAUmmm... Can you use it in a sentence,please?

JIMThis isn't a spelling bee Chelsea, forPete's sake just sit down.

The bell rings. Students rush out of class.

JIM (CONTD)Chelsea will you hang on for a second, weneed to talk.

CHELSEAWhat now, Bad Pits?

Jim smirks and does busy work sorting papers.

JIMWell, after reviewing your marks... orlack there of, I think I have no choicebut to fail you, you know what that meansdon't you?

Chelsea stares blankly.

JIM (CONTD)Expulsion genius and it looks like youronly other option is Local Adult Centerfor Education. Say hey to your old palAzukah for me.

INT. LOCAL MIDDLE SCHOOL - THOUGHT BUBBLE

AZUKAH, A 6'4 240 Lb. Samoan hulk made of pure muscle wearingLocal Middle Schools jersey, punches Chelsea in the facewith his own fist.

AZUKAHStop hitting yourself, stop hittingyourself, stop hitting yourself...

Azukah gets visibly angry.



7/12

AZUKAH (CONTD)Why wont you stop hitting yourself?!

Azukah starts punching Chelsea harder. Each time disfiguringChelseas already pummeled face just a little more-- Missing

tooth, swollen eye, puffy red cheeks etc.

AZUKAH (CONTD)Are you mocking me?! Aaargh!

Thought bubble poofs away.


Chelsea is ghost pale. He runs and locks the door.

CHELSEANo, I can't, I won't, Please Puddles, you

gotta help me!

Chelsea falls to his knees clutching Jims leg.

JIMFirst off Chelsea, its Mr. Haddon...

Chelsea stops pleading suddenly.

CHELSEAI thought your name was Jim?

JIMYeah, Jim is my first name...

Chelsea stares dumbfounded.

JIM (CONTD)Never mind. Look, I maybe able to assignyou a tutor to get you back on track andin your right grade over at the highschool but you have to do exactly as Isay.

CHELSEA

Anything! I'll do whatever you need, justno more Azukah.

Chelsea shudders.

Jim goes and opens the door

JIMCome on in fellas.

Mannie pushes a shivering Sam through the door.



8/12

CHELSEAComing in early for your daily beating,Lardo? I'm a little busy here but I'd behappy to fit you in.

Chelsea clenches fist. Sam faints.

MANNIENot quite... Meet your new tutor.

Mannie points at Sams hefty frame crumpled on the floor.

Chelsea faints.

ACT II

EXT. LOCAL CITY LIBRARY - MID DAY

The same random kid from before pees on the local drinkingfountain. A librarian snatches him up by the collar.

INT. LOCAL CITY LIBRARY - MID DAY CONTINUOS

Jim, Mannie, Sam and Chelsea sit together at a table in thecenter of the library.

MANNIELet's start with the discovery ofAmerica.

CHELSEANo need, America was discovered by JesusChrist and Christopher Reeves onChristmas. Thats why were allChristians, right?

Jim, Mannie and Sam just stare at Chelsea in disbelief.

SAMThis is going to take forever.

JIMWhat we need here is a nice 80s styled

musical montage...

Jim pulls 3 cds from his briefcase.

JIM (CONTD)I have Eye of the tiger, We are thechampions and Don't stop thinking abouttomorrow, what will it be guys?

CHELSEA, MANNIE AND SAMEye of the tiger!



9/12

EYE OF THE TIGER plays as background music.

SERIES OF SHOTS

A.

CHELSEA IN THE RAIN DOING SIT UPS WHILE JIM HOLDS A BOOK ANDSCREAMS QUESTIONS FOR HIM TO ANSWER.

B.

JIM, MANNIE, SAM AND CHELSEA ROLE PLAYING SHAKESPEARE'S ROMEOAND JULIET. SAM AS JULIET TRIES TO KISS CHELSEA WHO PLAYSROMEO, CHELSEA TACKLES AND PUNCHES HIM REPEATEDLY.

C.

CHELSEA AT HOME ASLEEP AT A DESK, FACE BURIED IN PILE OF

BOOKS.

D.

CHELSEA, SAM AND MANNIE RUNNING UP THE STAIRS OF THE PUBLICLIBRARY IN SWEATS. DURING THE VICTORY DANCE AT THE TOP, SAMHUGS CHELSEA. CHELSEA PUSHES SAM WHO BOUNCES BACK DOWN THESTAIRS WHILE MANNIE AND CHELSEA CONTINUE TO DANCE.

INT. LOCAL CITY LIBRARY - DAY

The foursome are back at the same center table of thelibrary.

JIMGood work every one. By the laws of 80spop culture he should be ready.

Mannie, Sam and Chelsea nod and high five one another

FADE TO BLACK.

EXT. LOCAL MIDDLE SCHOOL - MORNING

Kids stream into the school. The random kid takes a leak on

the bike rack. A police officer snatches him up by thecollar.

INT. JIMS HISTORY CLASS - MORNING CONTINUOS

JIMPut your books away people, pop quiztime!



10/12

Class groans. Jim winks at Chelsea and passes out the quiz.

CUT TO:

INT. JIMS HISTORY CLASS - LATER THAT DAY

Kids write until the bell RINGS. Students pack up their booksto and go to hand in their tests.

Chelsea is first in line.

JIMHang on a second Chelsea and I'll gradethis for you right now.

Students protest the hold up. Chelsea turns to threaten theothers with a promise.

CHELSEANext person to make a sound will beescorted out of here by the school nurse!

Class falls silent. A crickets CHIRP is the only sound.

CHELSEA (CONTD)Thats it!!

CLOSE UP on a cricket on a desk, chirping lazily.

Chelsea plows through the desk angrily.

JIMAhem... Good news, you got a D+, notexactly Asimov smart but you pass.

Chelsea stops stomping on the splintered desk. He snatchesthe paper from Jim.

CHELSEAHigh school here I come, see youspazzoids later!

Chelsea runs out of class hooting and hollering.

CHELSEA (O.S.) (CONTD)Finally something for mom to hang on thefridge! Thanks Jim!

JIMDont thank me...

Jim leans over desk



11/12

JIM (CONTD)This was all Mannies doing!

Class gasps in unison. Kids whisper Mannies name

CUT TO:

INT. LOCAL MIDDLE SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY

Jim, Mannie and Sam are in lunch line.

SAMHeavens to Betsy, I can't believe thatraging bull of a teenager is finally nomore! Let us join hands in jubilantcelebration!

JIM

Not even in your wildest fantasy FattyCarbuncles, but I agree, feels kind ofnice to see what victory smells like.

Jim takes a big breath.

Enter TONY, a 15 year old punk kid wearing skinny black jeansand black vest, his hair is green and spiked in Mohawkfashion, from behind.

TONYHey Mannie, hows it hanging?

Mannie points at himself in disbelief.

TONY (CONTD)Yeah you, heard what ya did, you're somekind of hero round these parts now.

Tony looks over at a slender Jim standing next to a nice,round Sam.

TONY (CONTD)Ive heard of guys that only roll with10s but this is ridiculous.

JIMIs he talking about us? Why that putridlittle fu...

TONYCmon, let me buy you lunch, well talk.

Mannie shrugs.



12/12

MANNIESure why not.

SAMWhat about us? If Mannie is your Batman

then surely I am his faithful companionRobin for we embarked upon this perilousmission as a team...

Jim turns to Sam.

JIMRobin? Looks like the only thing youvebeen robbin is Local City Bakery, CakedCrusader. This was ourgig, Im moreRobin than youll ever be... In fact Imhis right hand man, like Knight Wing!

Jim turns back to Mannie and Tony as they walk off to a tablepacked with kids who congratulate Mannie. The cricket, arm ina cast, is among them.

JIM (CONTD)Im your Knight Wi... Awwww.

NARRATOR (V.O.)Is Chelsea really gone for good? IsMannie on his way to the top of the foodchain at Local Middle? Will Jim ever buydeodorant? Find out the answer to theseand more next week on Man Boy.

FADE TO BLACK.


man boy - the proposal part 1

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