Malapropism Madness:

Created by Peg Ehlen, copyright August 2012

Background: Malapropisms

The comic misuse of words is not new to our language. Malapropisms, however, become more common when we fail to proofread, allowing spell check devices to make some crazy choices!

Enjoy the following examples from everyday experiences at Ivy Tech. Note the error in italics and make the correction. Feel free to laugh!

An Instructor’s Malapropism

An instructor e-mailed a graded essay to a student with the following message:

I have attacked

your essay.

WORD YOUR REQUESTS

CAREFULLY!

From a student data sheet:

Q: What can I, your instructor, do to help you accomplish your goals?

A: My instructor needs to bare with me.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

I hope to become an electron like my

father.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR SPELL CHECK!

Since my mother was deaf, I would like to help the earring impaired.

EMPATHY IS NICE, BUT . . .

As a future nursing student, I want to relive my patients’ pain.

WHAT A NOBLE PROFESSION!

When I become a social worker, I hope to debilitate my clients.

MACHO MAN ON CAMPUS

I hope to succeed by studding hard in college.

I hope to travel to the Neverlands where my Dutch relatives live.

IF CRIMINAL JUSTICE WERE ONLY THIS

SIMPLE . . .

As a law enforcer, I want to rid the inner cities of violins and gang mascaras.

YOU PLAN TO BRING ABOUT THESE

LAWS?

As a legislator, I hope to pass meaningful laws that effect poverty.

ARE CHILD LABOR LAWS THE

ISSUE?

I want to help miners under the age of eighteen.

SOUNDS LIKE?

As a doctor, I want to elevate my patients’ misery.

WARRING, TIRED OF MARRIAGE,

OR BOTH?

I want to change my martial status to single.

In a divorce, the words are often synonymous!

INFLATE THAT EGO!

I hope to raise my self of steam.

OOPS!

I hope to attend collage—any collage.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT

MALAPROPISMS?

Remember, untied we stand, or was that united?