making peace with change & uncertainty

4/26/2021

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©2021 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research | slide-1

MAKING PEACE WITH CHANGE & UNCERTAINTY

Angela Lunde, M.AAssociate in Neurology

Alzheimer's Disease Research CenterMAYO CLINIC

Keeping the Spirit Alive May 2, 2021

©2021 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research | slide-2©2021 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research | slide-2

SESSION DESCRIPTION

Change is a significant part of caregiving.

Learning to accept these changes can be a

path to liberation and positive

transformation.

This session will discuss common struggles

caregivers and families face and

demonstrate how acceptance makes space

for real solutions and well-being.

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IMAGINE


“I feel like I am in

quicksand and can’t

find solid ground.”

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“I struggle to adjust and adapt to so many

changes. I feel so angry. Frustrated.

Everything is such an endeavor.

I keep reminding myself to go slow, stay calm,

and take it easy. I am not doing so great in

this role. I want to run away."


DEMENTIA CAREGIVING

IN MINNESOTA

• 170,000 caregivers

• 155,000 hours of unpaid care

• Over half provide care for 4 years or

more

• Across the country, nearly 60 % of

caregivers report high to very high

stress due to caregiving

2021 Alzheimer’s Association Facts and Figures

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COMMON STRUGGLES

The disease

Changes in relationship

Unexpected roles

Everyday demands

Family dynamics

Expectations of others

Expectations of ourselves

Grief, Loss, Resentment, Guilt


A c c e p t a n c e

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ACCEPTANCE IS NOT:

Apathy

Passivity

Giving up

Giving in

Relinquishing agency

Liking the way things are

Condoning

Agreeing with

Tolerating poor treatment or disrespect from others.


ACCEPTANCE IS

A VerbA Choice

A Practice

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“ We had to stop dwelling on the way our mom used to be and be fully present

for who she is today.”


Acceptance is, in many ways, a synonym for mindfulness.

When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever

is happening now and to whatever we

are feeling.

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•Paying attention to your present-moment experiences

• in an accepting way;

• in a nonjudgmental way;

• in a self-compassionate way

•Taking in more of your true experience.

MINDFULNESS IS


“stress diminishes as you take in more of your

(present moment) experience, that’s the

transformative part.”

Emily Lindsay, Ph.D.

Research Assistant Professor in Psychology at University of Pittsburgh

How mindfulness training promotes positive emotions: Dismantling acceptance skills training in two

randomized controlled trials. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(6), 944-973.

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MINDFULNESSBENEFITS

•Activates parasympathetic nervous system.

• Increased immunological response, reduced blood pressure and cortisol.

•Relieves stress and anxiety, regulates emotions, eases pain and fatigue, improves empathy, supports optimal cognitive functioning.

•Helps repair damage done by stress and changes the brain to better regulate emotion and resilience to stress.



MEDITATION VS MINDFULNESS

Meditation

•Time that is set side for the purpose of using one of many techniques to achieve a more calm and stable state.

•One type of meditation is called Mindfulness Meditation.

Mindfulness

•A way of living where we maintain our awareness of the present.

•Can be done formally; called mindfulness meditation.

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•Taking in more of our true experience.

MINDFULNESS


Being honest about what you can and

cannot control.

PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PRESENT MOMENT EXPERIENCE IN AN ACCEPTING WAY MEANS:

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Noticing what you are your feeling—

a willingness to feel what you feel.

PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PRESENT MOMENT EXPERIENCE IN AN ACCEPTING WAY MEANS:


“In order to change negative feelings, we first

have to notice them.

To be in relationship with what you're going

through, to hold it, and in some sense to

befriend it, is where the healing lies.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

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MINDFULNESS


NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Self-doubt

Self-criticism

Regret Guilt ‘Shoulds’

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ASK YOURSELF

Would I talk this way to a good friend?

What am I angry about, really?

What would happen if I ignored this, let it

go, or let it be?

Why am I doing this? Is this someone

else’s expectation?

Can I settle for a good-enough solution?

Can I settle for being a good-enough

caregiver for now?


PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PRESENT MOMENT EXPERIENCE IN A NONJUDGMENTAL WAY MEANS:

Being a good-enough care partner.

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MINDFULNESS


Treating yourself with kindness and forgiveness.

PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PRESENT MOMENT EXPERIENCE IN A SELF-COMPASSIONATE WAY MEANS:

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MINDFULNESS PRACTICES


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Trigger

Judgement

Thoughts

Emotions

Reaction

Poor outcome

Mindfulness

Stop!

Take a

BreathObserve

Proceed

Better outcome

Respond

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AWARENESS OF BREATH


SELF-COMPASSION BREAK

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•Practice accepting what you can and cannot control

•Make space to feel what you feel

•Shift away from negative self-talk

•Aim for ‘good-enough’

•Treat yourself with kindness

MINDFULNESS/ ACCEPTANCE


The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

October 22, 2019

by Charlie Mackesy

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RESOURCESBOOKS

Ten Thousand Joys & Ten Thousand Sorrows: A Couple's Journey Through Alzheimer’s. Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle

Seasons of Caring: Meditations for Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers. Daniel Potts

Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment--and Your Life. Short useful introduction for those new to mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn

Caring for a Loved One with Dementia: A Mindfulness-Based Guide for Reducing Stress and Making the Best of Your Journey Together. Marguerite Manteau-Rao

Meditations for Caregivers. AARP

Caregivers Tao Te Ching: Compassionate Care

for Your Loved Ones and Yourself. William and

Nancy Martin

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness

Meditation in Everyday Life. Jon Kabat-Zinn

Meditation for Beginners. Jack Kornfield

Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm,

Strength, and Happiness. Rick Hanson

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to

Yourself. Kristin Neff

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RESOURCESAPPS & WEBSITES

Insight Timer

3-Minute Breathing Space Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amX1IuYFv8A

Headspace

Calm

Self-Compassion Break

Kristin Neff, PhD

3 Components of Self-Compassion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k

Short Film: Mindfulness 101: A Beginner’s Guide Animation

(Happify)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqoxYKtEWEc&list=PL_QpDgT5hS

NBKBxIYw9tJhibXr6QPzt6p

Presence Care Project

http://www.presencecareproject.com/

Zen Caregiving Project

https://zencaregiving.org/

Resilient Option

https://www.resilientoption.com/


RESOURCES

8- week Mindfulness Based Dementia Caring Contact:

Angela Lunde

[email protected]

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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Angela Lunde

[email protected]

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mailto:[email protected]

making peace with change & uncertainty

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