made for moredavidedwardcummings.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/m4m-work… · one of the many...

Made for More Finding Rest for Your Soul

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you

and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my

yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

A six-session Bible study on stress, anxiety, and depression created in partnership with Pathways

Community Church, Santee, CA.

© 2018 David Edward Cummings. All rights reserved.

(Cover photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash)

2


Contents

For Small Group Leaders 3

For Participants 5

Session 1: Not Alone 6

Session 2: Fight-or-Flight 9

Session 3: One Another 12

Session 4: Truth Be Told 15

Session 5: Crazy Busy 18

Session 6: Two Lists 21

Appendix A: About the Author 24

Appendix B: The Serenity Prayer 25

Appendix C: Further Reading 26

3


For Small Group Leaders

Let me first say thank you for taking on the task of leading a small group of friends through

this material. As you no doubt are well aware, small groups are where some of the greatest growth

and development occurs in the church. This is where we have the potential for deep, meaningful

relationships with one another, and it is most commonly the place where we are most likely to let

down our defenses and simply be who we are, warts and all.

Now, before you get yourself all anxious about leading a small group, let me tell you that

leading a discussion is not the same as teaching a class. You do not have to be an expert on the

subject of stress, anxiety, and depression to successfully lead your group through this curriculum.

You don’t need to have attended Bible school or seminary, and you don’t need to be a pastor. All

God asks of His leaders is that we be willing to bravely step up and committed to seeking His

leading. Thank you for being that person!

This curriculum is designed to go along with a weekly newsletter with inspiration from

Scripture. Please encourage your group members to visit

http://davidedwardcummings.com/subscribe to start receiving those weekly newsletters right away,

even before your group begins if possible. In addition to the newsletter, they can find articles and

videos on the website to help them along their journey. I would also appreciate it if you, the leader,

would send me a note through the contact page (http://davidedwardcummings.com/contact) to let

me know that you’re using this curriculum and to provide any helpful feedback.

Here are a few guidelines you might consider for your small group that can help make the

experience less stressful for you as well as your group members, and help everyone to get the

most out of the study.

1. Consider hosting the group at a neutral site. This takes some pressure off of you to

make your home look perfect for your guests, and it may put some of your more anxious

participants at ease about attending.

2. Keep the group size relatively small, limiting enrollment to somewhere between 6 and 10

people. Any more and it becomes difficult to encourage participation by all group

members, especially those with greater social anxieties. If more than 10 people are

interested, explore the possibility of finding another leader to take half of the group.

http://davidedwardcummings.com/subscribe

http://davidedwardcummings.com/contact

4

3. Encourage everyone to participate at the level at which they are comfortable. Keep in

mind that not everyone is comfortable speaking in front of groups, even small groups,

and that people with anxiety are even less likely to want to speak up. Do what you can to

make the environment safe and inviting for people to share their thoughts and feelings.

4. Do what you can to discourage any one person from dominating the conversation. Times

of anxiety and depression can be very self-focused and it is understandable that

individuals are thinking about themselves rather than others. If you have one person who

wants to dominate all of the conversation, consider setting a time limit for each response,

such as 3 minutes per person, to ensure that others don’t feel intimidated about

speaking up.

5. Limit cross-talk. Cross-talk is when one group member wants to directly respond to

something another group member has said. Some cross-talk can be encouraging, but it

often can become “fixing”, and we are not therapists or doctors. What works for one

person may not work for another. We’re not here to teach one another from our vast

stores of knowledge and experience, but instead to support one another on our journey

as we face what God has to say to us in Scripture about our struggles.

6. Take time to pray at the beginning and end of the group. It’s important that leaders

model how we invite the Holy Spirit to guide us through our Bible study and along our

journey with anxiety and depression. It’s probably best to not ask one of your group

members to pray for the entire group, unless you know for certain that person is capable

to expressing themselves spiritually out loud in a group. Someone with anxiety who is

put on the spot to pray in front of a group may not come back next week!

7. Be wise about sharing your personal contact information including home address and

personal phone number or email address. You do not want to become someone’s one

and only go-to person for each and every crisis they have. As a leader, you may be

viewed as an expert, despite not being one. It is important that your group members lean

on people in their own safe community of friends, family, and professional healthcare

providers.

In the end, don’t let rules and guidelines bog you down. The goal is simply to provide a safe

environment for people to share their struggles and grow in their relationship with Christ. Do

whatever you think is best to create that environment in your small group. God bless you in this

anointed work.

5


For Participants

Life on this broken planet can be difficult sometimes. We experience stress, worry, fear,

discouragement, anxiety, loneliness, heartache, disappointment, frustration, anger, outrage, and

even despair. Our busy schedules and the demands and expectations of jobs, family, ministry, and

the culture around us can make us feel overwhelmed and unequipped for the task. Loss and grief

can lead to feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes we can pinpoint the underlying causes of our

struggles, but often they are just there, like uninvited guests at a party.

It’s one thing to be in a bad place because of our own problems, but when the reason we

are struggling is because of the pain and troubles in the life of someone we love, the feelings of

helplessness are taken to whole new level. We blame ourselves, we blame other people, we

blame God. We want to know why this is happening and what we can do to stop the pain. But

more often than not, those answers don’t come. What we do with those feelings can mean the

difference between joy, peace, and contentment on the one hand and sadness, pain, and

frustration on the other. Yes, life can be difficult sometimes.

Jesus tells us that you and I were made for more. He acknowledges that “in this world you

will have trouble,” but promises that He has “overcome the world!” (John 16:33). He came that you

and I could experience a spiritually abundant life (John 10:10). He promises that He has “plans to

prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). And

those plans aren’t some general vague plans to “be good” and “do what you’re told.” In fact, the

Bible says that you and I are “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which

God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). No, we were not made to wallow in the

mire of our mental, emotional, and spiritual struggles. We are made for much more than that.

Please consider visiting my website at http://davidedwardcummings.com where you can find

helpful articles and videos for your journey. While you’re there, I would recommend that you

subscribe to a weekly encouraging newsletter to cheer you on as you face your struggles. You can

subscribe at http://davidedwardcummings.com/subscribe and you can also contact me through the

contact page with any ideas or suggestions or questions you may have

(http://davidedwardcummings.com/contact).

Are you ready to feel better and be better? Are you ready to enjoy the peace and joy that

God offers to you but can sometimes be so elusive? If yes, then let’s get started with session one!

http://davidedwardcummings.com/

http://davidedwardcummings.com/subscribe

http://davidedwardcummings.com/contact

6


Session 1: Not Alone

* Begin by watching the Session 1 video at http://davidedwardcummings.com/made4more.

No matter what you are going through, you need to know that you are not alone. Your

experiences with stress, anxiety, depression, discouragement, and any other mental and emotional

struggle are not completely unique to you. Consider these statistics about American adults:

• 1 in 5 experiences a diagnosable mental health disorder in any given year, most commonly

one of the many anxiety disorders.1

• 1 in 14 experiences one or more major depressive episodes in any given year.1

• 1 in 25 experiences a serious mental health disorder in any given year that substantially

interferes with one or more major life activities.2

• Less than half (43%) of those with a mental health disorder seek professional help.2

• More than half will experience a diagnosable mental health disorder at some point in his or

her lifetime.3

1. How do the statistics cited above make you feel about your own struggles or those of people

you know and love?

2. Why are you doing this study? What do you hope to get out of it? (If you are doing the study on

your own, be completely open and honest, holding nothing back. If you are part of a group, share

what you are comfortable sharing at this point.)

http://davidedwardcummings.com/made4more

7

3. We are making the claim here that what you are experiencing is not completely unique to you,

that it is in fact part of the shared human experience. Read Ecclesiastes 1:9 and 1 Corinthians

10:13. What does the Bible say about the shared human experience of mental and emotional

trials?

4. Read Romans 12:2. Is it possible to change the way you think? How does someone go about

doing that?

God’s plan for our lives includes safe relationships with people who can be there when we

are down. A good friend can help shoulder our burdens, providing some much-needed rest in the

midst of trials. But sometimes that just isn’t possible. Sometimes we find ourselves friendless but in

need of support. The good news is that God Himself is always available to us, no matter what.

5. In the book of Matthew, Jesus offers us a deep, abiding rest that can be found no place else.

Read chapter 11 verses 28-30 and answer the questions that follow.

a. Describe a time when you felt weary and burdened. How did you find rest?

b. Taking on a yoke sounds more like slavery or servitude rather than rest. Why can we trust Jesus

if we take on His yoke?

c. What kind of rest is Jesus offering to us?

6. Consider a difficulty you are facing now. What would turning to God look like for you in this

situation?

* Write down the #1 most important take-home point for you from today’s session and then share it

with the group.

8

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) 7. Throughout the Bible, God shows us that He can be our firm foundation in times of trouble.

Read the following passages and answer the questions that follow.

a. Joshua 1:9 On what basis can we be courageous?

b. Psalm 4:8 How well do you sleep? Does knowing that the Lord makes you dwell in safety

offer any consolation?

c. Psalm 23:4 Have you ever had a “valley of the shadow of death” experience? Were you

able to find comfort in the Lord? What are His rod and staff?

d. Psalm 55:22 What does God promise to those who cast their cares on Him? How exactly

does one go about casting their cares on the Lord?

Footnotes

1 Data from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

2 Data from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

3 Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

9


Session 2: Fight-or-Flight


The fight-or-flight response is intended to keep us alive in the face of imminent danger. But

sometimes it overreacts to non-life-threatening stressors, and when it does, the physical and

mental feelings that come with it can be miserable. It’s like a burglar alarm that goes off any time

the wind blows. But isn’t it better that the alarm system is too sensitive rather than not sensitive

enough? Many of us wouldn’t be here today if our fight-or-flight alarm system was dialed back –

myself included! It may be hard to believe, but God gave us this incredibly sensitive security

system because He loves us too much to put our lives at risk. And if that means that we have to

deal with some false alarms from time to time, so be it. Let’s spend a little time in this session

thinking about how much God values our lives and how beautifully designed we are.

1. What physical and mental symptoms of stress, anxiety, or depression have you experienced?

2. People have asked me if there is a quick fix to alleviate the physical symptoms of anxiety without

the need for intervention. What are the problems with trying to fix the symptoms without addressing

the root causes?

3. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us that we do not need to be afraid because of “them”. Who or what is

“them” in your life that causes you fear and worry? Do words of encouragement like these to not be

afraid help you deal with your fears? Why or why not?


10

4. Psalm 3 describes King David’s experience when he was hiding from his son Absalom, who

wanted him dead. Read Psalm 3 and try to imagine the fear David was experiencing. What was

running through his mind? How did his body respond? How did David try to combat his fear?

5. John 3:16 is the ultimate statement of God’s love for us. Read this verse and then put it entirely

in your own words. When we are struggling, why is it important for us to truly understand just how

much God loves us?

6. What does Psalm 139:14 say about how we are designed by God? How could this influence the

way you see your mental and physical symptoms?

* What will you take away from today’s session?

11

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) 7. In the Bible, miracles are described as events that are beyond the laws of nature. A miracle

happens when God intervenes with the laws of nature that He designed in order to carry out

something completely different. Frequently, though, we use the term “miracle” to describe anything

that is amazing to us or that blesses us. We talk about “our little miracle baby” or “the miracle of

life”. We encourage people to “be the miracle” and we thank people for “being the miracle in our

lives.” But when we cheapen miracles to something that merely blesses or impresses us, we

cheapen our understanding of who God is. When we face difficult circumstances, why is it

important to believe that our God is the God of real miracles that defy all of nature? Read

Ephesians 1:18-21. What does this passage say about God’s mighty power to perform miracles,

and how does it apply to your situation?

12


Session 3: One Another


Like it or not, you need other people. You need them when life is hard, and you need them

when life is easy. You need relationships in which you can be yourself. You need to be with people

who accept you for exactly who you are. And other people, believe it or not, need you!

1. What is your default response to struggles: reach outward or turn inward?

2. What does each of these passages teach us about how our attitude should be toward a brother

or sister who is struggling?

Romans 14:13

Romans 15:17

Galatians 6:2

Ephesians 4:32

1 Thessalonians 4:18

James 5:16


13

3. Read Mark 9:50, John 13:14, John 13:34, Romans 12:10, 12:16, and Colossians 3:12-17. If our

stress and struggles are coming from broken relationships, what can we do to bring some

resolution to those problems?

When we feel anxious, depressed, or ashamed of ourselves, the last thing we want to do is

open up to others about our struggles. But that’s exactly what we need to do! God’s plan for us is

to live this life with one another, experiencing the highs and lows together.

4. Read the following passages: Romans 12:15, Galatians 6:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, and James

5:16. In what ways are we supposed to do life together with other believers?

5. Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and answer the following questions:

a. What does King Solomon tell us that a friend should do when we fall down, either literally or

figuratively?

b. Why is a friendless person to be pitied?

c. What is the benefit of having a friend by your side when life overpowers you?

d. In verse 12, King Solomon switches abruptly from talking about two people to three. Who is the

third person in this story?

6. Who are the safe people in your life who can “bear the weight of your story”?

* What is the most important thing you took away from today’s study?

14

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) A good support network of friends is important for weathering the storms of life. Trusting

God is even more important. At what point, though, does it make sense to bring in a set of outside,

objective eyes to speak into your situation? Let’s see what the Scriptures say about seeking wise

counsel.

7. Read Proverbs 12:15 and 19:20. What are the sources of trustworthy advice that are available

to you?

8. Life can feel like a war sometimes, like we’re fighting for our very lives. What does Proverbs 24:6

say is needed to assure our victory?

15


Session 4: Truth Be Told


We talk to ourselves almost continuously, and we tend to believe what we say. It makes

sense, then, that what we tell ourselves matters. If we tell ourselves lies, we will eventually believe

lies. But if we tell ourselves the truth, we will eventually believe the truth. We lie to ourselves about

many things: our gifts and talents, God, other people, life circumstances, our relationships, and our

problems, just to name a few. If we are going to be mentally and emotionally healthy, we need to

learn to recognize the lies and challenge them with the truth.

1. Try to sit quietly without any words buzzing around in your head. How long can you go before

you start talking to yourself? Five seconds? Twenty seconds?

2. When a friend makes a mistake or is in a bad place in life, what types of things do you say to

him or her? When YOU make a mistake or find yourself in a bad place, how do you talk to

yourself? What kinds of things do you say?

3. Read Romans 12:3. What does the apostle Paul say about seeing ourselves accurately and

truthfully? What does he mean by the phrase “sober judgment”?


16

4. Are there any outright lies or half-truths that you have been believing? Write one or two of them

down. Where do they come from?

5. Pick one of the lies you wrote down in the question above. What is the truth? If you’re not sure

what the truth is, ask others to speak truth to you in this area. Do you have a hard time believing

the truth?

6. In session 1 I asked you to read Romans 12:2. Read it again. If you are harsh or condemning

with yourself, how can you take steps to begin “renewing your mind”? How could focusing your

mind on the things mentioned in Philippians 4:8 change you from the inside out?

7. The best place to seek truth that you can use to challenge the lies is in the Bible. Even Jesus

battled the lies of the enemy with Scripture. Read the story of Jesus’ temptation in the desert in

Matthew 4:1-11 Identify the lies the enemy was whispering to Him and how Jesus challenged the

lies with the truth. What can we learn from this story about facing lies?

* What was the most important insight you gained from today’s session?

17

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) 8. It is important that we know who we are in Christ if we are going to combat the voices of shame

and condemnation in our heads. Take the time to re-state each of these biblical truths in your own

words, focused on how they apply to you personally.

Genesis 1:26

Ephesians 2:10

Colossians 2:13-14

Romans 5:1

Romans 8:1-2

Romans 8:35

1 Corinthians 6:11

18


Session 5: Crazy Busy


One of the most common sources of stress, anxiety, and depression in our culture is our

crazy busy schedules. For a variety of reasons, we pack them so full that we can barely come up

for air in between activities. Some people thrive off the busyness, but most of us just drown in it.

And even those that thrive miss out on aspects of life that only come in the slow and quiet periods.

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being so slow that you’re bored and 10 being so busy that you’re at

the end of your rope, how busy are you in this current season of life?

2. What are the activities that fill up your schedule and cause your busyness, and how important is

each one of them? What would happen if any of them simply went away?

3. What is the Lord telling us in Psalm 46:10? What’s the connection between being still and our

ability to pray to and worship God?


19

4. If you have a crazy busy problem, what heart attitudes do you think might be at the root? In

other words, why do you think you allow yourself to become crazy busy?

5. What can you learn about God’s priorities based on Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 22:35-40?

6. What can you learn about your priorities based on your schedule?

* What lesson will you be taking home with you from session 5?

20

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) 7. Read the story of Jesus visiting the home of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42.

a. Describe Martha’s attitude. What were her priorities?

b. Describe Mary’s attitude and her priorities.

c. Which of the sisters did Jesus commend and why?

d. Are you more of a Martha or a Mary?

8. In Matthew chapter 13, we hear Jesus tell the parable of the sower. Read this parable and its

explanation (verses 1-23).

a. Verse 22 explains that the worries of this world can choke out our faith, making it unfruitful. In

what ways can a crazy-busy life interfere with our ability to live out our faith?

b. In practical terms, what can be done to ensure that God’s Word falls on good soil in our hearts?

21


Session 6: Two Lists


The Serenity Prayer provides a wonderful structure for thinking about how we approach our

struggles in life. Take a few moments right now to read the entire prayer in the Appendix. What

jumps out at you?

“To accept the things I cannot change” requires a deep sense of peace from the Lord. It

also requires that we be willing to release our desire to control our life and circumstances. One

common cause for getting stuck in anxiety and depression is that we fight our feelings and we fight

our circumstances and we fight against all the unfairness and injustice in the world. Until we learn

to accept the things we cannot change, we will always be fighting, pushing back, upset, discontent,

angry, frustrated, and disappointed.

1. Deuteronomy 32:35 says that the job of justice belongs to God. What other big jobs are His and

His alone?

2. What unrealistic, unfair, or unbiblical expectations have you placed on yourself, another person,

life circumstances, or God Himself? How do you feel when your expectations aren’t being met?

3. Have you put anything on your “cannot change list” that really doesn’t belong there? What things

have you given up on that you really can exert some influence over?


22

“To change the things I can” is going to take courage, maybe more courage than you think

you have. But the “can change list” is the power list – it is where things start to get better. The more

that you are able to put on that list, the more you will find yourself no longer a helpless victim but

actually a participant and an agent of change in your own life and in the lives of others. But of

course, not everything belongs on that list. Other people and things that have happened in the past

have no place on this list. They are beyond your reach. But the way you choose to think about – or

not think about – them is entirely within your control.

4. Have been keeping something on your “can change list” that doesn’t really belong there? What

can you do to effectively move it to the proper list?

5. What does James 2:14-17 teach us about the importance of taking positive action?

* Take a few minutes to reflect on today’s session. What is the most important thing you have

learned or decided?

23

For Further Study (if time allows, or on your own at home) 6. Read the story of the wise and foolish builders from Matthew 7:24-27. How is building the house

on the rock like making wise changes in your life? What wise changes do you need to make

today?

24


Appendix A: About the Author

Dave Cummings is a microbiology professor at Point Loma Nazarene University and an

elder at Pathways Community Church where he leads the mental health ministry. He was recently

diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression due to chronic stress. Since then, he

has been on a mission to help others discover that there is reason to hope that their situation can

in fact be made better through better choices, changed thinking patterns, safe community, the help

of mental health professionals, and a close walk with Jesus. Dave lives in Southern California with

his wife Ann and their three teenagers.

25


Appendix B: The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference,

living one day at a time,

enjoying one moment at a time,

accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it,

trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will,

so that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

26


Appendix C: Further Reading

If you’re looking for more reading on the subject of our mental and emotional health, here are five

books that have influenced me recently. I would highly recommend reading any of them!

1. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. Brown is a shame researcher and focuses this book on the

negative effects of shame and the importance of living courageously with vulnerability. She breaks

down our sources of shame, the “armor” we put on to protect ourselves from shame, and the best

ways to combat shaming voices in our culture. In the end, Brown lays out a compelling argument

for the importance of rejecting shame and living with vulnerability despite the risk it involves.

2. Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung. Pastor Kevin DeYoung takes a practical and biblical approach

to understanding how and why we allow our lives to become so crazy busy. After making painfully

clear the high price we pay for this lifestyle, DeYoung helps us to see that we have a choice – no

matter what you may think, crazy busy is not required!

3. Freedom from Anxiety and Depression by Mike Marino. This is an excellent introduction to the

different types of anxiety and depression, the various ways they express themselves in our lives,

some of the most common root causes, and multiple approaches to recovery from anxiety and

depression and avoiding them altogether in the first place – all from a Christ-centered perspective!

This book is an excellent resource for both individuals and small groups.

4. Margin by Richard Swenson. Swenson’s 1992 book has stood the test of time because of the

enduring truths he lays out about our basic need to maintain some space in our lives to absorb the

27

unexpected. A life without margin, Swenson argues, is a life that cannot heal, think, or breathe. A

healthy life requires that we intentionally create margin in our time, finances, and brain.

5. Lost in the Middle by Paul Tripp. Mid-life, according to Tripp, is when we start looking back more

than looking ahead, and that can come at any age. Regrets, disappointments, failures, guilt, and

shame can all creep into our thinking as we reflect on the previous years of our lives. The good

news is that mid-life does not have to be a time of spinning our thoughts on the “could haves” and

“should haves”, or stuck lamenting the loss of good times and good relationships. Instead, it can be

a time of new beginnings and new opportunities.

made for moredavidedwardcummings.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/m4m-work… · one of the many...

Documents