Awkward Playground Bullies

Electric Mayhem

What up pitch?

Kickhopopotamus

Kick In A Box

Red Balls and Vodka

Kick-Faced

Stay thirsty my friends

Superfreaks

Ball Busters

THE TEAMS

GHOST MAN ON THIRDGHOST MAN ON THIRD

MA IVY FALL 2010

WEEK 4

Week 4 10/17/10 Equipment Pickup – BallBusters 2:00 PM Superfreaks VS What Up Pitch Stay Thirsty My Friends – Ref Duty Field A (Dirt Field) 2:00 PM BallBusters VS Electric Mayhem Kick Faced - Ref Duty Field B (Grass Field) 2:45 PM Awkward Playground Bullies

VS Stay Thirsty My Friends Electric Mayhem – Ref Duty Field A (Dirt Field) 2:45 PM Kick Faced

VS Kickhop What Up Pitch – Ref Duty Field B (Grass Field) 3:30 PM Kick In A Box VS Red Balls Kickhop – Ref Duty Field A (Dirt Field) Equipment Drop Off - Red Balls

This Week’s Schedule

Letter from the President, I hope you all had a nice weekend off to recover from the stresses and insanity we know as

kickball. If anyone paid any attention to what was happening in Vegas this past Saturday you would

know that Panik Attack (Virginia Beach) took the title of kickball champs in a 6-2 win against DC ‘s previous years defending champs The Other Shot Callers.

Once again props to Kickhopopotamus for representing MA Ivy this year. We will be featuring and recapping their experience below.

Since Vegas had a party, we need one too. How about our Mid Season party? THIS Saturday October 16th at the Hong Kong in Harvard Square. Kickballers will get FREE beer until it runs out. If you have a friend or someone else who likes the sound of that. THEY can pay $10 to get as much beer as they can drink before it’s gone. That $10 goes to our charity

The WAKA Fundraiser Night Out at Improv Asylum is next Thursday, October 21. The show starts at 8pm see below for more details.

This week we have more excitement. Will Stay Thirsty break their losing streak against the Bullies? Will Electric Mayhem retain their lead from (tied for 2nd placers) the Ball Busters? Will Red Balls hold off the Powerful veteran squad of Kick in a Box? Can Kickhop return from Vegas to defeat Kick Faced after their big win over the Bullies? Who will claw their way up the ladder (second to last rung) in the Superfreaks/What Up Pitch? match up? All this and more on SUNDAY! Teams, get your Representatives ready for another stage in the Bar Olympics. It might be the midget toss this week or it might be the Squirrel eating competition (Hint: it’s NOT). Don’t be TOO hung-over. Send me your game recaps, pictures, quotes, etc etc. (@ yourpness@gmail.com) Phil (aka Captain Monkeybutt)

Your Board Members Phil Provencher –Likes Squirrels (WAY too much) Superfreaks

Brian Caldwell – Yells at things Kick in a Box

Liza Martiniello –Once wrestled a bear (it was a Teddy)

Awkward Playground Bullies

Heather Byrnes – Has 3 livers Kick in a Box

Keith O’Connor – Rides Dragons Kick in a Box

Doug DiPietro – Can lift 500 pounds

Kick-Faced

Dates to remember:Dates to remember: Midseason Party Midseason Party –– 10/16/10 10/16/10 Improv Night Improv Night –– 10/21/10 10/21/10 HaHa lloween lloween Costume Contest Costume Contest -- 10/31/10 10/31/10 Date Auction Date Auction –– 11/7/10 11/7/10 End of Season Party End of Season Party -- 11/20/10 11/20/10

The WAKA Fundraiser Night Out at Improv Asylum is next Thursday, October 21. The show starts at 8pm, so make sure to get there earl ier to grab a beer and get your tickets. Tickets will cost $20 dollars, $10 of which goes to our charity. You can buy tickets from board representatives at the Midseason Party or at Tommy Doyle's this Sunday. Or, call 617-263-6887 to order tickets from the box off ice -when purchasing tickets please mention the event code 'WAKA' on your phone or onl ine transactions. Transactions with only the WAKA event code qual ify for the donation.

If you haven’t already signed up for the date auction make sure you talk to Heather Byrnes (ladies – I’m talking to you). It’s coming up soon 11/7/10.

GET SOCIAL

Bar Olympics Standings

Week 1 – Paper Bag Winners bracket – Electric Mayhem (Bryan “ninja” Bernecker) Losers bracket – BallBusters (Daniella Halperin) Week 2 – Chubby Bunny “Winners” bracket – Tie – Kick in a Box (Matt McMahon)/What Up Pitch? (John Watkins) “Losers bracket” – Superfreaks (Zeth Weissman) 11 Marshmallows! Week 3 – Frozen T-shirt Competition Winners bracket – Electric Mayhem (Amy “Cadillac” Lundberg) Losers bracket – Kickhopopotamus (Katie Mountain) Week 4 – Ready Set Blow Competition Winners bracket – Kick Faced (Jason Ho) Losers bracket – Stay Thirsty My Friends (Heidi Zengel)

Team Games

Played Points Win % Wins Losses Ties Paper

Forfeit Runs Against

Runs Scored

Run Diff.

Electric Mayhem 4 4 1 4 0 0 0 3 24 21 Red Balls 4 4 1 4 0 0 0 4 21 17 Ball Busters 4 2.5 0.625 2 1 1 0 9 12 3 Kick Faced 4 2.5 0.625 2 1 1 0 21 19 -2 Kick In A Box 4 2 0.5 1 1 2 0 6 14 8 Kickhoppopotamus 4 2 0.5 2 2 0 0 12 26 14 What Up Pitch 4 1 0.25 0 2 2 0 10 8 -2 Awkward Playground Bullies

4 1 0.25 1 3 0 0 15 3 -12

Superfreaks 4 1 0.25 1 3 0 0 19 5 -14 Stay Thirsty My Friends

4 0 0 0 4 0 0 39 6 -33

RULEZ KORNER: Size matters How big is it? When you set the field up, here’s what the dimensions are. From the outside corner of home plate it is 60 feet (or 20 paces(10 paces if you’re Brett Laflamme or 30 if you’re Matt Finkenaur)) to 1st base and 3rd base. And thus it is 60’ (20 paces) from the outside of each of the bases to each other. From home to 2nd it is 84’ 10 ¼” (there’s an easy number to remember) and halfway is the pitching strip (42’ 5 1/8”) To get the kicking box, walk out 10’ from the foul line (diagonally) in behind home plate from the 1st base line and 3rd base lines and place a cone on each. These will then point out the Kicking box (rectangle) which measures 8’ 4” X 14’ 1/8”. I hope you’re writing this down because there WILL be a test. Note: the pitching mound is listed as being a 24’ Diameter. If the ball is given to the pitcher who is NOT on the mound, the play would not end until they have returned to the mound. The Strike zone is 12 inches to the left/right and above home plate. Remember the ball is 10” (well usually unless it’s 16” and looks like a dinosaur egg) so the strike zone is slightly larger than the ball is. 3 strikes – you’re out 4 Balls – take your base 4 Fouls – you’re out 3 Outs – Change sides I would now advise you to go to the rulebook and look at all of the pretty pictures. This is boring! This weeks Krazy Question: If Mike Liss of Stay Thirsty was running from 1st base to 2nd base at 40 MPH and the defense overthrew the ball to the 2nd baseman as Mike continued to rocket to 3rd and then home, where should the ref make Mike go? EMAIL ME YOUR ANSWER – Best submissions will be posted next week. Last weeks Krazy Answer: If Droo Murray of Kick in a Box could bunt the ball pigs would be flying. BUT since his legs are actually so powerful that if he were to attempt to bunt the ball it would still leave the infield, so it may be noted that it CAN’T be done so his teammates would not torment him. The correct ruling by the refs would be a foul ball. ONCE a ball goes foul it stays foul.

Standings

GAME RECAPS!!

Kick in A Box 1 What Up Pitch 1 Oh boy what a game boys and girls. The Kick in a Boxers took to the field on the brisk Sunday afternoon feeling pretty darn good coming of their first win of the season...and things couldn't have started any better. A 1-2-3 Top of the first, and then the Navy Blue Boxers pushed a run across the plate in the bottom of the first inning. What Up Pitch fought back however, and in the 3rd inning tied the game with (of course) bunting. Then hilarity ensued... KIAB'er Jason "two first names" Henry kicked a wild shot to right field and aggressively taking 2nd base stretching a single. Unfortunately, rounding 2nd base was the problem, where he got caught by the Cambridge Common grass monster and took him down. An easy target for a WUP pegger. Then in the bottom of the 5th inning, straight from a NO FEAR T-Shirt, Brian "Not Pat" McMahon walked up to the plate. The game tied, he held the hopes of the entire KIAB team squarely on his right foot. He proceeded to blast the red rubber ball to Right Center Field. Every KIABoxer on the third base line was screaming in excitement as BMAC was headed for home run destiny. Even as he rounded second base, he knew he too would no longer be in the shadow of his older brother Matt "I fart 3 home runs" McMahon. BMAC had a wonderfull poo eating grin on his face that yelled "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!". And then, all of a sudden...he didn't. He too got caught by the Cambridge Common Grass Monster, this time rounding Third Base. He crawled back to safety, pride crushed, and remained there for the rest of the inning. Kick in A Box played in the most funnest tie in the history of MA IVY. GAME MVP: Brian "I'm Doing It" McMahon... for all of the above. BAR MVP: Christine "Wind Bag" McInerney... for proving to MA Ivy that she can blow with the rest of them, and the only reason she didn't blow to victory is due to her lack of long pinky fingernail.

Kick Faced 6 – Awkward Playground Bullies 0

Red Balls 9 - Kickhopopotamus 0

Electric Mayhem 14 –Stay Thirsty My Friends 1

Kick in a Box 1 - What Up Pitch? 1

Stay Thirsty My Friends: Game 4 Recap by Michael Liss Stay Thirsty My Friends wants to come on the record to say that if there was a scoring system for rate of improvement throughout a game, we would have won! Plus we met a bunch of new people on our massive team of 26 and had a blast! STMF put a point on the board! Yeah, #1!!! Speaking of #1, let's give a round of applause for Heidi the balloon blowing champion and fly-ball-catching extraordinaire! Not only did she intimidate Electric Mayhem on the field, but I heard that she is now one of the options for the date auction! So guys...(maybe girls, too!), start pushing that 4-day-old pizza to the side under the couch and start collecting your change. And it doesn't stop there! I hope that everyone (YES, EVERYONE!) is "thirsty" for Leah and Rimi at the date auction!** Oh...back to the game recap. Everyone is really happy with the way that we are coming together as a team and learning the game. Our defense is becoming better as the games continue, so let's keep practic ing an hour before the games! If we can handle the bum taunts, we can handle any distractions. On a personal note, a special thanks to Ari for not having that coll ision with me catching the ball; I think that we have a little too much teamwork...my bad. I know, I know...I wanted to see lights, sirens, and sexy EMTs in uniform to party it up on the field but my NC Capital team would be super pissed if I arrived in Vegas with a cast or two. Sorry to disappoint all of the spectators in not performing a slow motion train wreck. **For personal loans, contact your local bank or black market...because hey, the way that the banks are these days, you might be better with the mafia: legs heal in 6 months, Bankruptcy lasts 7 years.

Kick Faced brought its "A" game as we defeated Awkward Playground Bullies by a score of 6-0. Kellen "the Hammer" Flannery earned his first career WAKA shutout. Paul Brower and Adam Tebbe were the hitting stars as they both kicked home runs. The defensive star was Sara Townsend as she had two nice catches in right field. Jason Ho was the monster at the bar as he was victorious at the balloon blowing event.

No recaps from either team (violins play melancholy melody in the distance)

Ball Busters 2 – Superfreaks 0

Superfreaks recap below (in comic book form)

Ball Busters v. Superfreaks The field conditions today were excellent. The dirt on the field was in a moist state, perfect for grip while rounding the bases. The dampness meant that there was no possibility of dust on the field obscuring visibility or causing respiratory difficulties, but the risk of stains due to mud on shorts, t-shirts, pants, shoes, headbands, capes, fake butts, and socks was greatly increased. Adding to the risk was a puddle at home plate, causing risk of excessive splashback during pitches that crossed it. The grass on the field was perfectly green, with no signs present yet of the browning that will surely come as winter approaches. Ryegrass, the type on the field, generally maintains its color through the fall, only showing of browning in late November. Still, the grass probably provided less grip today than the perfect condition of the dirt, putting the outfielders at a slight disadvantage when it came to sudden changes in velocity. The weather conditions on the field were good, with only the threat of rain. An overhang of nimbostratus clouds caused the light levels on the field to be lower than ideal, meaning fast pitches could be more difficult to hit, but this was probably offset by the potential difficulty that the fielders could have with catching fly balls. A trace amount of precipitation was observed, but this only maintained the damp conditions of the dirt. Ball Busters win 2-0 Superfreaks Inning 3: No runs A wild fly ball far left of the third base line. The ball found itself falling toward Garden Street near a young couple on the sidewalk, fresh from a romantic walkabout in the Cambridge Common. As the ball careened toward the vehicle-filled street, the young man saw a vision of a WAKA-kickball-induced multi-car pileup flash before his eyes. His vision presaged certain death for dozens of people in the fiery mayhem that would follow. “I can’t let that happen,” he thought to himself, as he unconsciously clenched his fists and steeled his resolve to prevent certain death for so many that day. His lady companion could only look onward in horror. As the big red ball approached overhead, he launched himself in the air and executed a series of front flips, roundoffs, and other aerobatic maneuvers as he tried to encounter the ball in time to prevent the impending doom. The members of Ball Busters and Awkward Playground Bullies silently watched in amazement, unaware of the importance of the events unfolding before them. During his tumultuous journey through the air, he finally found himself within arm’s reach of the deadly kickball. He plucked it from its trajectory in mid-air and simultaneously lobbed it on a perfect course to the pitcher’s mound, at the same time executing a perfect landing. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief without really knowing what sort of crisis had just been averted. To break the deafening silence, there came a voice from the Awkward Playground Bullies dugout: “Someone’s getting laid tonight!” Everyone nodded in agreement as the young couple walked off into the evening, the young lady with a glint in her eye. Inning 4: No runs Inning 5: 1 run Final score: BB 4, APB 1

But first…

KICKHOP IN VEGAS RECAP!!!!

By Mike Coughlin nips and passing out beads on the plane leisure suit in airport party bus and champagne Unnamed passengers of the party bus remarking at the beauty of the CVS on the strip Bobby getting abandoned with the Canadians at Caesars winning $2000 from the fundraising raffle. F*@k you baby cancer losing 3 games making a soul train at Diablo and forcing all people walking by to dance Lauren and Julia sneaking on stage at rehab and partied with two of the bachelors from ABC's Bachelor Pad stratosphere (big shot ride, 12 martinis) flip cup sunday night in the hotel 7 people in a king sized bed, lots of touching. (thankfully?) no photo of that one. 5am airports Matt, Marie, Jamie and Greg taking a cab ride to the airport with a driver who was definitely under the influence of mind-enhancing substances. and playing imaginary cash cab with him.