LIVIC October 2011

A MESSAGE FROM THE EDITORA MESSAGE FROM THE EDITORA MESSAGE FROM THE EDITORA MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR

Welcome to the first edi�on of Livic, the esteemed newsle�er of the Civil

Engineering Society. With its catchy name (It’s civil backwards, geddit??) and

quality content it has become a highly respected tradi�on within the walls of

the Skempton building. It’s here to keep you up to date with all the latest

comings and goings of the civil engineering world and informed about all the

Skempton gossip. Here’s what to expect in our bumper first issue:

With slightly worrying consequences, I’ve let this years Civsoc commi�ee

introduce themselves to you by wri�ng their own profiles, which you can find

overleaf. While they’ve done an outstanding job of proving otherwise, the

majority of the commi�ee are in fact, sane, knowledgeable individuals who

will always be willing to help sort out your problems and entertain your

ideas/delusions.

Cleverly I’ve a�ached pictures to their profiles so you can recognise them at

the 4 bridges pub crawl (apparently they’re in charge), the first major event

of the civsoc year. It’s the ideal opportunity to get to know the rest of your

department.

Finally, freshers week at Imperial can be a minefield so luckily we have our

roving reporter on the case to help you navigate it.

So good luck for the year and I hope to see you all at the pub crawl!

Best wishes,

The Editor

KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE !KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE !KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE !KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE !

Chair – Tom Evans

Not much is known about the mysterious origins of Tom Evans. Records suggest that he was lost deep in the Bolivian jungle while his parents were on an expedition to find an alternative energy source to power their new coffee maker. Subsequently, he was taken in and raised by a pack of wolves until a bear and a puma guided him to a nearby human village. While this unconventional upbringing has given him unprecedented athletic ability, he lacks many social boundaries and often sniffs people while shaking hands. His interests include playing the sousa-phone and using his heightened sense of smell to find pieces of cheese that have been lost dur-ing earthquakes.

Earlier this year he was misquoted in an interview, drawing a huge amount of press coverage and sparking a strong hatred amongst the cavern exploring community. After suing the reporter responsible for libel, he used the money to bribe his way onto the civsoc committee where it is suspected that he will use his power to raise an army of electric toasters and hold the country to ransom.

It is quite common to find him in the airport lounge tucking into a nice bit of brie.

Vice Chair – Peter Measham

Hello, I’m the CivSoc vice-chair and my name is Peter

Measham. Welcome to Civ Eng to all the freshers, I hope we

will see lots of you out on the pub crawl this week. As part of

CivSoc I am here to help you enjoy your year in the depart-

ment, and my advice is to get involved with our events as

much as possible. One of the best things I have done since

coming here was the CivSoc tour last year, and I really recom-

mend it to everyone, especially as this year it’s gonna be

be�er than ever! Best of luck to for this year, CivSoc love XX

Livic Editor – Edmond Veillard

You’ve heard enough from me already on page 2.

Industrial Liaison Officer – Theepan Saravanapavan

I’m your new Industrial Liaisons Officer for 2011/12. I still don’t quite know what that means, but it generally involves trying to make lots of money to spend on alco-holic CivSoc events. In the process, I hope to convince some big companies to come into Skempton and recruit some of you guys. If you want a job, money for socials, or both, I’m your man!

Dep Rep – Amar Mistry

Hey everyone, so aside from pumping iron and eating

spinach , I am also your department representative

for this year! So what does a department rep actually

do? Well, basically, I am the student voice from an

academic side, so if you have issues, or ways in which

you think that we can improve the course, then

please don’t hesitate to get in touch! Aside from your

personal tutors, I am also here to offer any help or

advice if you have any personal concerns, and would

rather talk to a fellow student instead of a member of

staff.

Look forward to meeting plenty of you this year.

Treasurer – Joseph Ruxton

Hey Freshers! I’m Joseph Ruxton and I’m your new Treas-

urer. It’s my job this year to manage the money for all our

events and keep track of the sponsorship from our Indus-

trial Liaison Officer (when he’s not coun�ng bolts) and

from the Union. I’m originally from Shrewsbury, which is

in the middle of nowhere and then a li�le further so

enough about that! Looking forward to seeing all of you

all on the pub crawl this week!

Bring on the crazy escapades…

Events and Sports Officer – James Musgrave

James Musgrave is well known for his unshakeable self-belief and

pretentiousness (far from good character traits). Despite these

flaws, he is widely regarded as the lynchpin of Civsoc 2011-12

committee. He has been working all summer on this year’s formi-

dable array of events and is said to be eagerly anticipating the

Pub Crawl, the climax of anyone’s fresher’s week. Sources close to

him say he is looking forward to leading as many freshers as pos-

sible astray during the event.

Interna%onal Tour Officer – Ryan McCartney

As the finance officer for the international tour this year, I am responsible

for taking all your money and deciding what to do with it ;). This year we

will continue on the success of previous tours and have an exciting choice

of cities to visit. The tour is the highlight of the CivSoc calendar, so spare

some money now and join us on the best trip yet....I promise! More to

come!!

Web Officer – Michele Swalens

Hey guys, Lets start with my name, however you think it’s said... it’s

probably not.. So just call me Mike or Michael, it's easier trust me...

Otherwise welcome to Imperial and Civ Eng, your time here will be a

memorable one.

As web officer my job is to get you on www.civsoc.co.uk. This is our totally awesome website/forum/banter/help place for all civ eng

students. So go take a look at the site and join up, ITS FREE!

Any questions drop me an email!

“Secretary” – Jackie Ho

Hi I’m the secretary for Civsoc this year. Unfortunately I’m too lazy to do my own

profile, not a very good quality for a secretary really. Perhaps I should resign….

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Thursday 6th Oct

5.30 Outside Skempton House

PPE IS MANDATORY!!!

Worst Case Scenario: FreshersWorst Case Scenario: FreshersWorst Case Scenario: FreshersWorst Case Scenario: Freshers

So you know to keep calm and carry on, but what happens when concrete hits the fan? (NB. Lecturers

don’t like people who try this.) As engineers we think of the “worst case” of everything so here are some

tried and tested mi�ga�on methods, though admi�edly with varying degrees of success…..

1. Waking up s%ll drunk in a lecture

Know you nearest toilet- For Rm 201 it’s straight ahead from exit, Rm 164 the disabled on the way to the

main staircase and basement under the main staircase.

Keep your head down and don’t ask ques�ons par�cularly with song �tles in the sentence. Structural lec-

turers like Radiohead as much as you do….

Maintain the at work sleeping posi%on (Elbow on desk, lower arm ver�cal, thumb under chin, index fin-

ger straight on side of face and other fingers slightly curled suppor�ng front chin.) Proven even to defy a

certain fluids professor.

If you make it through eat. SAF café, located in the building opposite, provides breakfast baps that will

make (or break) you.

Have a nap. Queen’s Lawn, under the tower, and the chairs outside Rm 201 are said to have healing proper-

�es.

2. Ge4ng lost on the CIVSOC Bar night.

Firstly Congrats. You are at one of the great CIVSOC events and evidently enjoyed it enough to get lost.

Good work.

Make friends with the older years. They have been there, got lost before, in a physical and mental sense,

and will guide you in more ways that you can imagine… (Health warning: the older years are very sociable

and will be happy to help you including with work advice but be warned about when you approach them

e.g. if they are displaying any of the behaviour in pt 1 maybe wait a bit.)

Learning to make friends with Londoners Politeness and a sensible judge of character will get you far in

London. All kinds of hints and �ps about events etc will come from them.

Transport Learning to read the tube and bus maps or having friend who can is possibly the most useful thing

to be able to do in London. They will get you home.

3. Sleeping in the Library

Loca%on The civil library is locked normally aKer 6pm and the department at 11pm so go for a quiet nook of

main library. Being locked into Skempton is not fun and being chucked out by their surprisingly scary secu-

rity guard is not great either. Trust us.

Sleeping Bag/Shorts The temperature is famous for being variable in there, almost like they are doing it on

purpose, so bring both.

Stock up Library café closes, at what will seem like, quite early and the chocolate almond slices go quickly so

plan ahead.

Create a tent Placing a jacket over the footspace of the work cubicles on second floor is a surprisingly effec-

�ve light blocker.

Shower Nobody likes to know about the night before par�cularly if it’s as sad as this so locate the rather

swanky showers in basement of Skempton or take a trip to ethos sport centre across the road.

4. Failing the maths test

Know the criteria Uni is undoubtedly harder than school so a fail is less than 40% and a good mark is 60%

upwards so change your expecta�on level. 95% is for geniuses or people with no life.

Don’t Panic Various people who have done badly in this test have gone on to get a first in their first year.

Gap Yahs Remember you have not been studying for a year. It does take some �me to adjust, no ma�er if

you did get lashed in Para darling.

Take it as a kick in the bu< Imperial is one of the best in the world at this so however clever you are you

will struggle in at least one module.

5. Da%ng 3 people at once

Note: This is possibly more for the girls than the boys though to be honest the odds are good but the

goods are odd. It has been known however, but proceed at your own risk.

Pick from different departments and halls Keep smart on their likely friends and friends of friends.

Adopt a suitable nickname ‘Honey’ or ‘Babe’ would do well to avoid mixing them up. Having the

same ‘our song’ and claiming to be forgeRul about discussion topics is also a good idea.

Have a schedule If they know they always see you on a certain day, they will not feel neglected and

can avoid casual drop ins.

Have a large ‘family’ It is okay to have dinner with say your ‘cousin’.

Being vague/busy Having a large amount of work or being connected with a par�cular unnamed so-

ciety are both useful a�ributes and �e in nicely with the schedule.

Don’t boast The most common downfall and the one with the least happy outcome. Remember it is

always the quiet ones…..

6. Surviving all four years

Take proper breaks They may not be long and you may have a lot of revision, but holidays are holi-

days for a reason. Take some�me for yourself or others. The El Salvador Project is a great way to

spend a summer ….

Don’t talk to older years about their work load or sanity level

You will only scare yourself.

Talk to UCL students Strangely you’ll feel be�er almost immediately

Two words: Anna Hikel She will save your degree at some point. Treat her well.

Be nice to the Professors par%cularly your tutor They may pretend/ may not recognise you at first,

but they do have the power to save you from failing or get you a first.

Cheesy but true: Keep calm and carry on.

by,

Sarah Talle�-Williams

JokesJokesJokesJokes

Get on board at:

W W W . C I V S O C . C O . U KW W W . C I V S O C . C O . U KW W W . C I V S O C . C O . U KW W W . C I V S O C . C O . U K

tell one to that pre�y girl over there in the corner, she’s bound to laugh, these are gold dust.

A Tom Evans Special

A man walks into a butcher’s, and asks the butcher:

‘Are you a gambling man?’

The butcher replies, ‘Of course’.

Well the man says, ‘I bet you £50 you can’t reach the meat

on the top shelf.’

The butcher refuses to take part in the bet.

But the man protests, ‘I thought you were a gambling

man!’

‘I am’, says the butcher, ‘but the steaks are too high’.

For aDer the pub crawl

I like going into MacDonald’s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken sandwich, just

to see which comes first.

This occurs regularly outside Charing Cross Hospital

Did you hear about the three legged man tripping over the bearded lady and headbuTng

Muscly Mike the Mighty Dwarf?

It was a freak accident.

One for materials

lectures

‘Do you know any good jokes

about sodium?’

‘Na’