M S SridharJuly 3, 2010

Mahatma Vidyalaya SchoolMuthanalluru

Listening Skills

Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable

In a 168 hour week you spendover 30% in sleeping

If you don’t sleep adequately…

Another 25% is spent in classeshearing teachers

M S sridhar 2Listening skills

Listening and hearing are not the same

Listening is conscious, active process with the

mind

Hearing is with the senses

So Listening = Hearing

+ Focusing on the message

+ Comprehending and interpreting

+ Analyzing and Evaluating to

Understand

Judge

Respond

Remember

Hearing vs. Listening

M S sridhar 3Listening skills

Some Facts

7 out of every 10 minutes we are communicating

45% of time is spent on listening

30% of time on talking

16% spent on reading and

9% spent on writing

M S sridhar Listening skills 4

Some Quotes• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of

listening when you'd have preferred to

talk ~Doug Larson

• Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;

courage is also what it takes to sit down and

listen ~Winston Churchill

• The most important thing in communication is to

hear what isn't being said ~Peter F. Drucker

• Don't worry that children never listen to you;

worry that they are always watching you ~Robert

Fulghum

• A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat

- Katharine Whitehorn

M S sridhar Listening skills 5

Fallacies about Listening

• Listening is not my problem!

• Listening and hearing are the same

• Good readers are good listeners

• Smarter people are better listeners

• Listening improves with age

M S Sridhar Listening skills 6

Learning• A meaningful change in the behaviour

• We acquire knowledge about the world

• Has to be selective to focus and excel

• Closely linked to memory

• Learning and memory through behavioural change establish a person’s personality

M S sridhar Listening skills 7

We listen to learn and listening skills

are part of overall learning skills

Learning Skills

• Brain, the most complex organ on the earth, does not come with operating instructions

• Our educational system teaches us how to be taught rather than how to learn

• We are passive rather than self-directing learners

• To learn and move forward, we need both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation backed by energy, enthusiasm and persistence

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We were given two

ears but only one

mouth, as God

knew that listening

was twice as hard

as talking

Listening skills are

most difficult to

learn

M S sridhar 9Listening skills

The opposite of talking is

not listening. The opposite

of talking is waiting

- Fran Lebowitz

Six Sins in Interactions

1. Negative remark

2. Accusing

3. Assumptions

4. Directive or Advice

5. Clichés

6. Judging values

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Unless you shut your only mouth, you can‟t

even hear, forget about listening

Don’t interrupt, let the speaker finish before

you begin to talk

A good listener is a good talker with a sore

throat - Katharine Whitehorn

M S sridhar 11Listening skills

Talking when we should be listening is

wrong

You hardly listen if you are …

Day dreaming

Not paying attention,

preoccupied

Tuning out with

thoughts somewhere else

M S sridhar 12Listening skills

It is hard to listen with a big stinking ego

M S sridhar 13Listening skills

“I know what will be said” attitude

Busy thinking about what you want to say next

Hearing only what you expect to hear and not what is

actually said

Not listening from the perspective of the speaker due

to prejudice, self-centeredness or stereo-type

Meaning is in the receiver’s mind

Meaning cannot be transmitted like a tangible substance by the speaker

It must also be stimulated or aroused in the receiver

The receiver must be an active participant for the transmission to be completed

M S sridhar Listening skills 14

Physical/ Environmental barriers:Distracted by sights or activity

Combat external distractions:

• Avoid place, people & situation

• Dress normal, more appropriately to the room

temperature

• When you find yourself drifting away during a

listening session, change your body position and

concentrate (use listening skills/ strategies)

• If you are really listening intently, you should feel

tired after your speaker has finishedM S sridhar Listening skills 15

Psychological/ Personal barriersConcentrating on something else

Selective listening: We tend to hear what we

want to hear and not what is actually being

said

Negative listening attitude

Personal reactions

Poor motivation

Combat internal distractions …M S sridhar Listening skills 16

Psychological/ Personal barriersCombat internal distractions:

• Eliminate the source

• Try to remain objective and open-minded

• Treat listening as a challenging mental task

• Maintain eye contact with the instructor

• Focus on content, not delivery

• Avoid excessive emotional involvement

• Stay active by asking mental questions: What is

the key point? How does this fit with what we

know from previous lectures? How is this lecture

organized?

• Anticipate what is going to be said as a way to

keep your mind from strayingM S sridhar Listening skills 17

Thinking is nearly four times faster than

speaking

Processing speed of brain = 500 wpm

Speaking speed = 150 wpm

Unused mental capacity = 350 wpm

lead to wandering of mind or tuning out called

„Route 350‟

Thus while listening you will be able to think

about what you are hearing, really understand

it, and give feedback to the speakerM S sridhar 18Listening skills

Use Route 350 (the gap between the rate

of speech and rate of thought)

Tuning Out? (Route 350)

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May be because you

• have heard it before

• are preoccupied

• find it difficult to

understand

• have a differing opinion

Like a satellite dish antenna

your face contains most of

the receptive equipment in

your bodies

Your body position defines

whether you will have the

chance of being a good listener or a good deflector

M S sridhar 20Listening skills

Your face is the dish antenna

Good listeners are like poor

boxers: they lead with their

faces

Face the speaker directly

Have an open and receptive

posture (open arms, not

crossed, not defensive)

Lean towards speaker to

indicate involvement and

interest

Maintain direct eye contact

Give your full attention; Make

sure your mind is focused M S sridhar 21Listening skills

Lead with your face

Following Skills• Do not interrupt the speaker: Allow the speaker

time to reflect and prepare the next dialogue

• Do not divert the speaker by asking too many

questions or with) too many statements/

observations

• Do not „fill in‟ words or complete sentences (let

the speaker finish)

• Pay special attention to statements that begin

with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The

thing to remember is..."

• Ask questions & give feedback

M S sridhar Listening skills 22

Following Skills

• Encourage the speaker to tell his own story

(Remember, you listen with your face as well as

your ears!)

Use prompters like ‟yes‟, „go on‟, and „I

understand‟

Nod your head, show subtle signs of you

understand and are attentive

At appropriate points smile, frown, laugh, or

be silent

• Allow time for silence

M S sridhar Listening skills 23

Reflective Skills

• Paraphrasing

Accurately restate the speaker‟s message

Use your own language to convey factual

information only

• Reflection of Feeling: Accurately restate your

perception of the emotion of the speaker

• Focusing: Keep the flow of the conversation

goal directed and specific (what are your

options to move forward in this situation?)

• Clarifying: Attempt to understand vague,

confusing or unclear communication

M S sridhar Listening skills 24

Still Distracted ?

M S sridhar Listening skills 25

Practice Listening

skills

Sit up

Look interested

Lean forward

Listen

Act interested

Nod your head to

show that you are

tuned in

Track the speaker

with your eyes

Follow Active

Listening Strategies

1. Review

2. Question yourself

& instructor

3. Concentrate/ focus

4. Connect and listen

Listening in the class room

• Come prepared

• Be on time

• Take copious notes

• Listen for main ideas

• Ask questions - state what you understood

• Think ahead - implications of the things

M S sridhar Listening skills 26

Recapitulate & Remember !

• We spend most of our time in hearing

• Listening is conscious active process

• Practice listening skills

• Position your face which has all receptive equipment; make eye contact with speaker

• Do not talk while listening

• Take corrective steps to overcome physical barriers like place, people, dress, situation, body position, etc.

M S sridhar Listening skills 27

Recapitulate & Remember !

• Take care of ‘Route 350’ while listening

• Control your ego, excess emotion and other personal barriers; be objective and open-minded

• Keep away from six sins in interactions

• Listening skills are part of learning skills and closely linked to memory

• Ask questions & give feedback

• Act interested; Focus and prompt speakerM S sridhar Listening skills 28

Thank you

Make sure you have finished speaking

before your audience has finished listening

- Dorothy Sarnoff

Comments and questions are welcome