listening activity

MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Effective Listening

Expressing our wants, feelings, thoughts, and opinions clearly and effectively is only half of the communication process. The other half is listening and understanding what others communicate to us.

While listening has always been important, today proactive listening is imperative for organizations and individuals to succeed. Proactive listening is conscious and deliberate. It requires heightened sense of awareness to gain valuable information.

As we prepare to listen we are sometimes faced with challenges. It can be challenging to listen when you are friends, when you think alike, or with your co-workers, because each of us is different, with different life experiences, family history, cultural background and perceptions.

Purpose

This course will help you enhance your ability to listen more effectively without making assumptions or expectations about how a conversation should go.

This course will break down the components necessary to be a good listener, and also provide techniques for managing conversations.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, you will be able to:

• Determine your own listening pitfalls.• Recognize the keys to effective listening.• Identify some tips to listen more effectively.

Effective Listening- 2 -


Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.

-Bernard BaruchTime Spent Communicating

Listening

Speaking

Reading

Writing

*** According to the 1996 study by the Dynamics of Human Behavior, a nationally recognized organization specializing in the improvement of communication whose clients include IBM, GTE and DuPont.

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Hearing vs. Listening

Hearing is an auditory function of the ear

Physical process Natural Passive Listening is understanding what you have heard

Physical, mental and active process Learned process A skill



Communication Types

What percentage would you say you communicate by …?

10% 35% 55%

______________________ Body Language

______________________ Tone of Voice

______________________ Words

Communication Cues that Contribute to Effective ListeningVerbal Vocal

Visual

Verbal Cues

Think before you speak

Avoid Hot Button Words

Choose to Use the Most Important Words

One - _________________________

Two - _________________________

Three - ________________________

Vocal Cues



Rate of Speech _____________________________________________________________________

Vocal Cues Pitch_____________________________________________________________________

Volume_____________________________________________________________________

Tone _____________________________________________________________________Visual Cues

Facial Expressions_____________________________________________________________________

Head Movements_____________________________________________________________________

Gestures_____________________________________________________________________

Spatial Relationships_____________________________________________________________________

Attire_____________________________________________________________________

Sources of Difficulty by the Speaker

• Voice volume too low to be heard.

• Making the message too complex.

• Getting lost, forgetting your point or the purpose of the interaction.

• Body language or nonverbal elements contradicting or interfering with the verbal message.

• Paying too much attention to how the other person is taking the message.



• Using a very unique code or unconventional method for delivering the message.

Sources of Difficulty by the Listener

• Being preoccupied and not listening.

• Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor.

• Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal while the speaker is

talking.

• Only listening to your own personal beliefs about what is being

said.

• Evaluating and making judgments about the speaker or the

message.

• Not asking for clarification when you know that you do not

understand.

Determine Your Goal for Listening

To exchange information To build a working relationship



To feel good To make someone else feel good

***Effective listeners are fully conscious of making a decision each time they decide to talk or let someone else talk.

Why be a good listener?

To be recognized and remembered To feel valued To feel appreciated To feel respected To feel understood To feel comfortable about a want or need

Listening Pitfalls

Read the list of pitfalls and place a check mark in the box next to any of your personal pitfalls

I approach important listening situations without clearing my mind. I engage in other activities while I am listening.

I assume I know what others will say and tune out as a result.

I finish sentences for others when they stumble or pause.

I form a rebuttal in my mind while others are talking.

I ignore nonverbal cues such as voice, tone, posture, and pace.

I listen for specific facts rather than broad ideas.



I fidget when people speak to slowly.

I daydream when others are talking.

I use the same response repeatedly (“right” “uh-huh”) in place of listening.

I use body language that does not encourage body language.

Pitfalls

Internal Distractions• Memories of earlier conversations or meetings• Expectations• Attitude• Values• Prejudice/ Bias• Past experiences

External Distractions• Room Temperature• Outside noises• Telephones• Interruptions• Flip Charts/ Hand-outs

4 Steps to Active Listening

1. Listen . . . To feelings as well as words, emotions and implications Focus on the speaker – don’t plan, speak, or get distracted What is the speaker talking about? Look at speaker Use verbal and non-verbal encouragers

2. Question . . .Effective Listening

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3 Purposes Demonstrates you are listening Gather information Clarification

Open-ended Tell me more How did you feel? What happened?

3. Reflect - Paraphrase Reflect what is said (in your words) Reflect feelings Reframe

Capture the essence of the communication Remove negative framing Move toward problem solving

4. Agree Get the speakers consent to your reframing Speaker has been heard and knows it Solution is near

Three types of responses in active listening

Ask good questions Paraphrase Empathize

Tips for Effective Listening

Take notes to verify the information that you have written down; after the meeting compare your notes with someone else.

Frequently ask yourself - “Did I understand what was said?”

If unsure… ask questions, for clarification, not confrontation.

Never interrupt or dispute a point while someone is talking. Avoid turning the focus of the conversation onto you.

Take a moment to stop talking and listen

Show you want to listen



Show attentiveness and interest

Be comfortable as a listener

Put the speaker at ease

Lean forward, make eye contact

Be patient, allow time

Ignore distractions

Skills Practice Listening Activity

You and a partner can practice effective listening on one another. Practice with these suggested topics.

How I feel about: My life today. All the good things that have happened to me. My future Showing love to those closest to me

Round One: Use the techniques listed below to show your interest.

Show Interest: Focus on the speaker Openly tell the speaker that you are interested, and why Use nonverbal cues for rapport Use short verbal cues to encourage communication Avoid interrupting the speaker

***Check the techniques you used from the list above.***Give your partner feedback on how well they did.

Round Two: Use the techniques listed below to clarify, gather information, and focus the conversation.

Ask Questions:Effective Listening

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Use open-ended questions Limit closed-ended questions

Self-Rating: On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), rate yourself on how well you:

____ Used open-ended questions____ Limited your use of closed-ended questions

***Provide feedback to your partner.

Round 3: Use the techniques listed below to let the speaker know what you understand.

Understand: Restate in your own words what you have heard If the speaker does not agree with your restatement, try

again until you have a match Acknowledge the speaker’s emotions

Self-Rating: On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), rate yourself on how well you:

_____ Restated what you heard_____ Acknowledged the speaker’s emotions

***Provide feedback to your partner

Summary

Expressing our wants, feelings, thoughts and opinions clearly and effectively is only half of the communication process needed for



interpersonal effectiveness. The other half is listening and understanding what others communicate to us.

"We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking."

People who are skilled at listening are concerned with two tasks:

1. They must hear and understand what the speaker is saying, making sure that they are not hearing more than the speaker is saying.

2. They must encourage the speaker to continue to communicate.

The following are suggestions for improving listening skills:

1. Create an environment for listening. Turn away from the computer and remove files or papers from your hands. Minimize the possibility of interference.

2. Give your full attention. Face the person you are speaking with, maintain eye contact and respond when appropriate.

3. Refrain from offering advice or criticisms that stops the other person’s expression.

4. Avoid use of "Why?" Ask "how," "what," "where," or "when" questions. Ask questions to increase understanding but never to fix blame.

5. Check in occasionally to see if you are understanding. Use phrases/questions like: "I understand you to be saying...," "Are you saying...," or "I am understanding that you think..."

6. Listen for feelings behind the words. Be aware of the other person’s feelings. Accept those feelings even if you are in disagreement. Failure to be aware of feelings behind the words is often a major hindrance to understanding.

***Drs. Genie and Preston Dyer - The Dyers teach in the sociology department at Baylor University. ©5/27/2004

Resources

Achieve Global Business Listening.com International Listening Association (ILA) – http://listen.org


http://listen.org/


HighGain, Inc. – http://highgain.com


http://highgain.com/

listening activity

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