Introduction

Throughout this semester I have finally been able to get back to my writing;

instead of writing research papers and analytical essays for my classes, I finally was able

to create my own world through my stories. I wrote short, fictional stories from middle

school through high school, but I have not written poetry since I was in elementary

school. By taking this creative writing class, I had hoped to broaden my learning on

poetry. I never was taught the different forms and how to separate line breaks and

stanzas, I used to just write poems about flowers and butterflies because to a 10 year old,

that is what I thought was beautiful.

Some of the problems I ran into at the beginning of this class were my low

confidence in my own imagination and not having the technical knowledge of how to

write these different genres. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to come up with an entire story

line and all of the characters in my head. What I learned from this course, is that a lot of

writers use prompts to get them started. This was my first time using prompts in my

writing but it made me think about writing something I never would have thought to

write about, otherwise. One of my poems turned out to be about mermaids and life under

the sea. I would never have written about mermaids if it were not for an in class prompt

written down by a classmate. As for the technical knowledge, I learned how to actually

write different forms of poems. Using the knowledge from in-class lectures, I was able to

learn about sestinas, free form, and villanelle poems. Prior to this class, I only wrote

quartets and free form poems.

Once I started writing my fiction story, I kept building the characters and the plot

off of each little exercise that we did in class. Soon after, I saw a short story had formed

and I continued writing it because I wanted to know what would happen next. When I

have free time, I would like to continue writing my story, to maybe turn it into a novel.

When I write, whether it is essays or stories and poems, I try to write my best on

the first draft because I really don’t like to make revisions. Most of my peers didn’t have

major things to say about my writings that needed to be fixed, except for a few

grammatical errors. In my fiction story, I had had trouble writing the scenes with a lot of

dialogue. One of my classmates helped me with these areas by showing me how to turn

my screenwriting dialogue and set it up into “in-text” dialogue.

Looking at my portfolio, there seems to be a recurring theme of life, love, and loss

in my creative nonfiction, fiction, and poetry. As a young woman, who has been through

high school and is finishing college, these seem like fitting themes for the life of a 21

year old. Like most people, I have had my heartbroken and have fallen in love, many

times over again. Growing up, I moved around all the time, so my “life” themes come

from my childhood. These themes are common in writing, but important to everyone

because everyone lives life, falls in love, and experiences loss.

I put a lot of work into these stories and my poems, so I hope you enjoy them.

Creative Nonfiction

Another Time Around

Here we go again: another new school in the middle of the year. At least this time

my parents let me finish the semester before moving us. It’s bad enough to move in

middle school to a whole new state where you have to meet all new people but, it’s even

worse to move right at semester point, right in the middle of the year. I remember

thinking to myself: “Why? Why do we need to move again? My parents promised me and

my brother that we wouldn’t move again until we graduated high school!”

These conversations happened a lot when I was growing up. My family was

originally from Nevada, but both of my parents grew up in Northwest Indiana, so that’s

where most of our family still was. When I was a toddler, we started making our way

back to Indiana. We even bounced back and forth between Indiana and Illinois a bit. I

have memories of living in Munster, Indiana when I was about 4; then we moved to Elk

Grove Village, Illinois, which is a suburb outside of Chicago. Prior to these places, I am

told that we lived in a few other suburbs of Chicago. After bumping around a few

different neighborhoods in Elk Grove Village, my parents relocated us again further away

from the city; they said the property taxes where just getting too high where we lived, so

this next move was an hour and a half away to Lake in the Hills, Illinois.

Lake in the Hills was a great place to grow up; it was a growing little town,

mostly made up of farms. Our neighborhood was just being developed and most of the

other people on our block all had young kids, such as my brother and myself. I’ll never

forget the first time I met the Rude family. The two boys, Santo and Karl, were walking

down the street when my brother and I were outside playing, while trying to keep out of

our parents’ hair. Santo was a few years older than me and Karl was a few years younger

than my brother, Patrick. We all started playing the game 4-square when his mom pulled

up in their minivan. The back door opened and out jumped a girl only one year older

than me! I was so excited to see that there was another girl in the neighborhood because

all I had seen so far were boys. Kayte and I became best friends and spent all of our time

together for the next five or six years. We had also met three other girls our age down the

street further; they had actually lived there a few years because that section of the

subdivision was already developed. The five of us were best friends and it all came to an

end when my parents sat me down to tell me that one of my friends dad’s had sold our

house for my parents. I didn’t even know it was on the market!

I later found out that Mr. Boesche was such a great realtor that he only had the

house on the market for two weeks before he had an acceptable offer. The downside was

that the people moving in wanted to be in before the New Year, only thirty days away.

My parents quickly found a house in Crown Point, Indiana, where my mom’s family still

lived. It is also only forty minutes from where half of my dad’s family lives, in Munster.

Since the semester ended two weeks after the New Year, I stayed with my friend Shelby

and the Boesche family to finish out the semester. I figured this was owed to me, since it

was Mr. Boesche that sold my house so quickly. Then came another time around.

It wasn’t that Crown Point was a bad place or anything; I just was really tired of

moving around all the time. Never really growing up in any one place, as a kid is hard. I

don’t know where I come from and I don’t have a “hometown”. These things always

seemed important to me when someone would ask where I was from and such. However,

Crown Point turned out to be pretty incredible. I made so many more close friends than I

ever had before and I was able to spend half of middle school and ALL of high school in

the same place. If I had never moved to Crown Point, Indiana, I never would have met

my best friends: Ashley, Tori, and Kaitlyn. Going from a school where I had my close

group of friends and several guy friends that I lived near, to a school where I became the

social butterfly was amazing for my self-confidence. My high school was pretty big in

population; there were 630 kids in my graduating class. I floated around from clique to

clique; being nice to everyone and everyone nice to me in return. Not only was I able to

make so many more friends at Crown Point than I had made at any of my other schools,

but I was able to connect with family members I rarely saw. If I hadn’t moved to Crown

Point, I never would have been as close with my aunt, uncle, three little cousins, and my

grandparents. But most of all, I never would have met my boyfriend Steven, who I have

been best friends with since freshmen year and have been in love with since Junior year

of high school. We are still together, going on four years, and will be high school and

college sweethearts. Another time around isn’t always the worst thing.

The  Block  Party  

  It  was  a  warm  summer  day,  at  the  beginning  of  July;  my  parents  were  

throwing  their  annual  4th  of  July  holiday  party.    It  was  like  those  block  parties  that  

people  used  to  have  with  all  the  neighbors  in  the  neighborhood  hosting  games  and  

playing  music,  one  family  even  rented  a  dunk  tank.    I  remember  my  friends  and  I  

running  up  and  down  the  street,  chasing  our  brothers  on  their  bicycles;  the  only  

time  we  were  allowed  to  ride  our  bikes  in  the  street  because  the  street  was  blocked  

off.    This  day  has  stuck  with  my  memory  over  all  these  years  because  of  what  

happened  after  the  sun  went  down.    The  block  party  was  close  to  over;  many  

families  had  taken  their  young  children  home  for  bed,  but  my  parents  said  that  I  

could  ride  my  bike  down  to  my  friend’s  grandpa’s  house,  where  she  was  spending  

the  night.    Her  grandpa  lived  right  on  the  same  street  as  me,  but  I  was  stubborn  and  

kept  riding  my  bike  in  the  street,  even  though  the  party  was  pretty  much  over.    I  

came  around  the  corner  and  saw  the  headlights…  

  The  car  swerved  but  didn’t  even  bother  to  slow  down.    Luckily  the  car  only  

clipped  my  back  tire;  I  didn’t  have  a  scratch  on  me,  but  that  moment  was  the  closest  

I  had  ever  come  to  being  really  hurt.    I  was  maybe  seven  years  old  at  the  time,  but  I  

still  remember  every  detail  of  that  night,  to  this  day.    Significant  events  and  big  

moments  seem  to  always  stick  with  me.    From  my  childhood,  I  really  don’t  

remember  many  memories  of  it  except  for  incidents  like  this  one.    As  if  this  almost  

accident  wasn’t  bad  enough,  earlier  that  evening  my brother and his friends were

running away from me and my friends; we ran into the house, down the hallway towards

the bedrooms, and my brother slammed his bedroom door shut, just as me and my friends

approached. Unfortunately I was pushing against his door preventing him from shutting

it and 4 of my fingers were shut into the door and door jam. I started screaming my head

off for my brother to open the door. He didn’t realize that I was screaming because I was

hurt and my fingers were stuck in his door, until I started bawling my eyes out. My dad

heard the commotion all the way from the backyard and ran inside to see what had

happened. He saw half of my fingers disappear into the doorframe and yelled at my

brother to open up. Patrick couldn’t get the door open from the inside, so my dad tried

from the outside. My dad couldn’t get the door open and had to kick the door in, just to

get my fingers out. In that moment, I felt confinement in that house, literally trapped in

the door jam.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Worst  Haircut  Ever  

  I  was  two  years  old;  my  family  and  I  were  visiting  my  dad’s  sisters  in  

Munster,  Indiana.    One  of  my  aunts  was  visiting  from  Scottsdale,  Arizona  that  same  

weekend;  this  was  the  first  time  I  remember  meeting  my  aunt,  Kathy.    Aunt  Kathy  

was  and  still  is  a  hairdresser  and  everyone  thought  it  would  be  a  great  idea  for  me  to  

get  a  haircut.    I  have  strawberry  blonde  hair  and  used  to  have  cute,  tight  curls.    As  a  

professional  hairdresser,  you  would  think  that  my  aunt  would  know  not  to  cut  my  

hair  super  short  because  then  the  curls  tighten  up  even  more.    I  remember  everyone  

taking  a  kitchen  chair  and  putting  it  in  the  family  room.    My  mom  had  to  sit  down  

first  and  hold  me  on  her  lap,  so  that  I  wouldn’t  move.    I  kept  trying  to  worm  my  way  

free;  I  didn’t  want  sharp  scissors  anywhere  near  me!    When  my  mom  finally  

wrapped  her  arms  around  my  arms  and  pinned  my  legs  between  her  legs,  my  

haircut  began.      

  There  was  a  growing  pile  of  strawberry  blonde  curls  on  the  floor;  it  seemed  

to  be  never  ending.    I  cried  and  screamed  the  entire  time  and  everyone  felt  badly  for  

me.  But,  kids  usually  cry  at  haircuts,  when  they  are  young,  so  no  one  did  anything  

about  it.    I  still  believe  that  I  knew  how  awful  this  was  going  to  turn  out  before  it  

even  started,  and  that  is  why  I  was  crying  and  trying  to  escape.    Intuition.    When  the  

torture  was  finally  over,  I  stopped  crying.    A  week  later,  my  parents  wanted  

professional  pictures  taken  of  my  brother  and  me.    Apparently  I  was  a  bad  kid  

because  there  is  no  other  excuse,  than  punishment,  for  what  my  parents  did  to  me  

that  day.  

  I  was  put  into  a  red,  velvet  dress  with  a  white-­‐trimmed  collar.    This  mixed  

with  my  “new  haircut”  and  I  looked  like  little,  orphan  fucking  Annie!!!  My  parents  

still  have  that  picture,  in  a  frame,  at  the  house  today  and  they  probably  always  will  

have  it.    I  look  at  that  picture  and  it  hurts;  how  could  adults  be  so  cruel?    Just  

because  a  two  year  old  can’t  make  decisions  like  these  for  themselves,  doesn’t  mean  

that  you  can  make  any  decision  you  want  for  that  two  year  old.    Adults  think  it’s  

funny  to  put  a  child  in  a  ridiculous  outfit  because  they  can’t  take  it  off  and  put  a  new  

one  on,  on  their  own.      

  If  I  have  learned  anything  from  my  bad  haircut  experience  it  would  be  to  

never  get  a  haircut  from  aunt  Kathy,  when  you  have  curly  hair.    But  also,  I  will  never  

put  my  kids  in  stupid  outfits  just  because  I  can.    Kids  have  feelings  and  they  know  

when  people  are  laughing  with  them  or  at  them.

                                           

Fiction    

When  Tragedy  Strikes    

AUDRINA  

  Okay,  so  when  my  mom  got  remarried  I  kind  of  figured  that  we  would  be  

moving  into  her  husband’s  house  and  I  would  end  up  switching  schools.    I  was  

prepared  for  this,  but  I  have  only  ever  gone  to  all-­‐girl  schools  and  East  High  School  is  

a  lot  different  than  those  schools.    I  am  16  years  old,  a  sophomore  in  high  school,  

and  have  never  had  a  boyfriend.    Needless  to  say,  I  was  a  little  nervous  walking  into  

school  on  my  first  day.    One  good  thing  from  my  mom’s  marriage  is  that  I  now  have  a  

big  brother  who  says  he’s  going  to  look  out  for  me;  this  made  me  feel  better  as  I  was  

looking  around  to  find  my  locker  bay.  

  When  I  finally  found  my  way  to  my  locker,  I  frantically  started  searching  

through  my  backpack  for  the  paper  that  had  the  combination  to  open  it.    “Relax  

Audrina.  Slow  down  and  take  a  breath,”  I  said  to  myself.      I  get  my  locker  open  and  

put  my  books  in  and  as  I  turned  to  leave,  I  spot  two  of  the  cutest  guys  I  had  ever  

seen.    Who  would  happen  to  be  leading  them  towards  me;  my  new  stepbrother  Alec?      

  “Hey,  Audrina.  I  wanted  to  introduce  you  to  some  of  my  friends.    This  is  

Daniel  and  Xander.    We  all  play  on  the  lacrosse  team  together”.  

   I  was  speechless;  coming  from  an  all-­‐girl  school,  I  had  never  talked  with  boys  

before!    I  somehow  managed  to  say,  “Hi,  I’m  Audrina.  It’s  nice  to  meet  you  both”.    

Daniel  asked  me  what  my  schedule  looked  like  and  wanted  to  see  which  teachers  I  

had.    I  handed  him  my  list  of  classes.    

  “Wow”,  he  said,  “We  have  three  classes  together  and  don’t  worry,  you  seem  

to  have  a  lot  of  the  cool  teachers”.  

  Daniel  insisted  on  walking  me  to  our  first  class  and  I  heard  Alec  say  that  “I  

was  in  good  hands”  as  Daniel  and  I  headed  in  the  opposite  direction  of  him  and  

Xander.      The  day  continued  on  in  this  fashion  and  the  boys  invited  me  to  eat  with  

them  at  lunch.    It  felt  so  strange;  at  all  my  old  schools  I  was  only  with  girls,  but  on  

my  first  day  here  I  have  made  several  guy  friends  and  haven’t  even  really  talked  

with  any  of  the  girls.    Actually,  the  only  guy  that  didn’t  seem  to  want  to  talk  to  me  

was  Alec’s  friend  Xander,  who  I  met  earlier  that  morning.    He  would  glance  up  at  me  

during  the  two  classes  we  had  with  each  other  and  I  noticed  him  do  it  again  

throughout  lunch.    But  not  once  did  he  talk  to  me.      

  Weeks  went  by  and  Daniel  began  taking  me  out  to  movies  and  dinner,  or  

even  just  to  hang  out  with  other  friends  from  lacrosse.    I  was  starting  to  feel  

something  that  I  had  never  experienced  before.    I  was  falling  in  love  for  the  first  

time.    Daniel  was  sweet  and  kind,  strong  and  athletic,  and  he  was  handsome.    One  

day  at  school,  he  asked  me  to  wear  his  lacrosse  jersey  to  the  game  that  night.    He  

knew  I  wasn’t  all  that  interested  in  school  spirit  and  whatever,  I  had  never  watched  

lacrosse  before;  but  he  asked  me  to  go  and  watch  his  first  game  of  his  last  season…  

Of  course  I  was  going  to  cheer  him  on  and  wear  his  jersey.    Our  relationship  had  

grown  more  and  more  intense  over  the  past  five  months.    I  didn’t  know  if  it  was  just  

me,  since  I  had  never  been  in  a  relationship  before,  or  if  it  was  because  Daniel  

seemed  to  be  the  right  guy  for  me.  

  At  the  game,  I  sat  with  my  mom  and  new  stepdad,  who  were  there  to  cheer  

on  Alec.    I  had  no  clue  as  to  how  lacrosse  worked,  but  I  followed  along  when  the  

announcer  would  say  Daniel’s  last  name  when  something  good  happened.    It  was  a  

different  side  to  Daniel  that  I  didn’t  usually  get  to  see;  he  was  rough,  mean,  and  

competitive;  but  that’s  how  captains  are  supposed  to  be  in  a  contact  sport.    After  

they  won  their  game  and  cleaned  up  in  the  showers,  Daniel  came  to  find  me.    He  

asked  me  if  I  would  go  somewhere  special  with  him  the  following  night  and  of  

course,  I  said  yes.  

  He  picked  me  up  at  seven  o’clock  sharp  and  we  took  a  drive  up  the  nearby  

mountains.    As  we  parked  at  a  lookout  near  the  peak,  the  sun  was  about  to  start  

setting.    The  colors  in  the  sky  were  beautiful,  but  made  even  more  so  by  the  storm  

clouds  beginning  to  roll  in.    With  the  storm  nearing,  there  were  great  purples  made  

across  the  sky,  mixed  in  with  the  pinks  and  oranges.    As  the  sun  was  setting,  Daniel  

looked  over  at  me  and  said,  “Audrina,  I  love  you”.    It  was  absolutely  perfect  for  how  I  

imagined  my  first  time  to  be.    I  knew  I  loved  Daniel  and  even  if  we  weren’t  going  to  

last  forever,  I  loved  him  and  he  loved  me  right  now,  in  this  moment  and  that’s  all  

that  mattered.  

  The  storm  hit  full  force  shortly  after  and  Daniel  asked  if  I  minded  driving  us  

home;  he  was  having  trouble  seeing  with  his  contacts  acting  up  and  the  rain  was  

really  pouring  down  hard.    I  switched  seats  with  him  and  began  our  slow  decent,  

back  down  the  mountain.    The  wipers  were  on  high  speed,  I  was  creeping  around  

the  twists  and  turns,  but  none  of  that  did  any  good,  when  we  suddenly  spun  and  

were  off  the  road…  

XANDER  

  She  looks  so  miserable.    She  never  talks  to  anyone  anymore,  she  just  sits  at  an  

empty  table  at  lunchtime,  and  Alec  says  he’s  heard  her  screaming  at  night  from  

nightmares.    I  wish  there  was  something  I  could  do  to  help  her,  but  I  just  don’t  know  

what  there  is  to  be  done.    I  lost  one  of  my  best  friends,  but  she  lost  her  boyfriend.    I  

know  that  even  though  it  was  an  accident,  she  hasn’t  forgiven  herself  for  it.    I’m  just  

going  to  go  up  and  talk  to  her,  see  how  she’s  doing.      

  “Hi  Audrina,  how  are  you  doing  today?”    

 She  doesn’t  answer  me;  all  she  does  is  look  up  from  the  table  and  stare  blankly  into  

my  eyes.    I  see  the  deep  purple  circles  around  her  eyes,  a  lot  of  red  inside  her  eyes  

too.    It  looks  like  she  hasn’t  slept  in  over  a  week.    I  try  again,    

  “Well,  if  you  ever  need  anything  or  want  to  talk,  I’ll  be  here  for  you”.      

  I  go  home  later  that  day  and  get  a  call  from  Alec.    

   “What  did  you  say  to  Audrina  today?  She  left  school  right  after  lunch  really  

upset”.    

 I  hadn’t  said  anything  to  her,  as  far  as  I  could  remember,  I  asked  how  she  was  doing  

and  to  let  me  know  if  she  wanted  to  talk.    I  told  this  to  Alec  and  he  apologized  for  

jumping  down  my  throat.    He  continued  to  tell  me  about  how  bad  he  feels  that  he  

can’t  cheer  her  up.    Every  night  he  wakes  up  to  hear  her  screaming  in  her  room  next  

to  his,  but  when  he  goes  in  to  calm  her  down,  she  is  still  asleep.    I  guess  they  don’t  

know  if  it’s  just  nightmares  from  the  trauma  of  losing  Daniel  or  if  it’s  night  terrors  

and  she  is  living  the  accident  over  and  over  again.    Sometimes  Alec  can  wake  her  up  

and  get  her  to  calm  down.    Other  nights,  she  just  stays  asleep  crying,  screaming,  and  

sobbing.  

  A  week  later,  Audrina  surprised  me  by  saying  “hello”  to  me  in  class.    This  was  

a  huge  thing  because  she  hasn’t  talked  to  anyone  since  that  night.    I  went  and  sat  

down  at  her  empty  table  the  next  day  at  lunch  and  waited  for  her.    When  she  spotted  

me  sitting  there,  she  came  over  and  sat  down;  she  even  had  a  little  half  smile  on  her  

lips.    

As  she  walked  up  to  the  table  I  said, “Hey Audrina. How have you been doing lately?”    

While  she  was  sitting  down  she  replied, “I’m fine”.    I  wasn’t  sure  that  she  was  telling  

me  the  truth,  so  I  continued,  “Ya, I can tell. Are you still having those nightmares?”  

She said, “No. I’ve slept every night this past week”. I could tell she was lying because

her stepbrother had told me the truth already and Audrina kept looking at the table

instead of at me. I kept on her, “Really? Then why did Alec tell me again that he had to

wake you up from a nightmare in the middle of the night because you wouldn’t stop

screaming?    Audrina  did  not  respond  to  that.  I  continued, “Look, Audrina, I care about

you and I’m really trying to help you out here. But, I can’t help you if you won’t even be

honest with me”.    All  of  a  sudden,  Audrina  snapped;  “I never asked for your help

Xander! I don’t want your help and I don’t need your help!” Audrina then began to sob. I

grabbed her and pulled her close to me. I told her it was okay and that I was sorry for

pushing.  

I didn’t know what to say next, but she just stayed there in my arms with her head

turned into my neck and shoulder. We sat there for a while, until she stopped crying and

I apologized again for being hard on her. I know that she is still adjusting, but it’s been

almost two months and she isn’t moving past what happened. I feel even worse because

each time I remember back to her first day here, I think about how beautiful she looked

standing at her locker and I asked Alec and Daniel who the new girl was. That is when

Alec told us that the new girl was also his new stepsister, Audrina. As soon as we got

close enough Daniel started chatting her up, staking a claim in his new “girl of interest”.

I backed off because he had the guts to talk to her first when I didn’t, but now that he’s

gone I feel even worse when my feelings are still there for my dead best friend’s

girlfriend.

Things seemed to be improving a little bit with Audrina. She was at least talking

to Alec and me now. But, something still didn’t seem right; weeks went by and Audrina

and I kept getting closer, but there were certain things I couldn’t say to her without her

getting quiet and sad. I had doubts that she was moving past Daniel and the accident at

all, so I decided to do some detective work while Alec took her out of the house. When

Alec texted me that the house was all clear I headed inside and I went up the stairs to the

level where the bedrooms are. I’m not one hundred percent sure which bedroom is

Audrina’s so I start looking into every room. I can eliminate Alec’s room, since we’ve

spent countless hours hanging out in there. As I am coming closer to the end of the hall, I

see a sliver through the cracked door, of a room with purple in it. As I walk in, I go over

to her dresser to look for pictures of her and Daniel. No luck. I continue to her desk,

looking for pictures or any other evidence of Daniel still being the main part of Audrina’s

life. Nothing is out and showing of the two of them together, but then I begin to open the

drawers of her desk. Drawer by drawer I find no items that I have come to find, until I

open the bottom desk drawer. There it is, all of their pictures, old movie tickets; she kept

everything they ever did together…

Clearly Alec couldn’t keep her occupied any longer because I heard his car pull

up and two doors slam shut. “Shit! I gotta get out of here”. As I begin to gather all of the

things I found of Audrina and Daniel together, I hear the front door open and someone

start up the staircase.

“Audrina would you please just wait a minute and come talk to me?” Alec was

pleading with her.

I am still in her room and trying to shut all of the drawers that I had opened, but there are

still half of her pictures sprawled across her bed. I rush over to get them, when I catch

Audrina standing in her doorway. Busted…

“Audrina, I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be home so soon”, I begin

explaining to her. I can see how confused she is at the sight of me in her bedroom; as she

looks to her bed, I see the recognition in her eyes about what I was really doing here. I try

to explain further, “Look. I know I shouldn’t have gone through your things, but I really

needed to know if you were getting over Daniel and the accident at all”. Audrina is still

speechless and walks over and sits down on her bed, looking at all of the things I found.

“I know it must be hard for you to even think about forgetting everything that has

happened to you, but you’re never going to get better if you don’t move on from what has

happened”, I explain to her. I see tears start to roll down her cheeks and feel even worse

than I did before. “I know that you loved him and I’m not telling you to forget about him,

but you need to let someone else into your heart one of these days. Daniel wouldn’t want

you to mourn over him forever, would he?”

AUDRINA

Everything Xander was saying to me just kept building inside. The next thing I

knew, I was blurting out, “I can’t get over him and move past him when I still see him

everywhere I go!” I saw the shock and confusion on Xander’s face, only made clear

when he asked, “What do you mean you see him? Like everything reminds you about

him?” I wanted to say yes, but he can see right through my lies. “No”, I said, “I mean

like, I think I’m seeing his ghost”. Xander starts walking towards me and says, “Audrina,

that’s impossible. You can’t be seeing his ghost. Ghosts aren’t real”. Defensively I yell,

“Yes it is possible. The accident was my fault. It’s my fault Daniel died!” Xander is just

shaking his head, clearly unable to believe what I am telling him; “No, no. This isn’t

possible. I’m out of here. I’m sorry. I just need to think about this. I’m really sorry”. And

with that, Xander walked out my door, leaving me there, feeling like I was crazy.

A week later I find out how big of a mouth Xander has! He told my stepbrother

about what I told him and of course now my mom knows, so now I have to go see a

psychologist. This lady thinks I should write a letter to Daniel, expressing all of my

feelings and get out what I can’t say out loud to people. Apparently, I’m not supposed to

be blaming myself for his death, even though I was the one driving the car when he died.

I guess I’ll try writing this stupid letter anyways. Here goes nothing:

Dear Daniel,

I don’t know why I am even writing you this letter, it’s not like you

will ever get to read it. But, I need to say how sorry I am about the

night of the storm. I shouldn’t have been driving when I could

barely see the nose of the car. I am so sorry that I lost control that

night and even more sorry, everyday, that you were the one to pay

the price for my mistake. I see you all the time. I don’t know if that

is my karmic punishment or if I’m just going crazy. I am truly sorry

and I don’t know how or when I should move on with my life. You

don’t get to live yours because of me, so how is it right for me to just

continue high school and college and dating? I will always love you

Daniel.

Forever yours,

Audrina

I felt that I needed to have someone else read my letter, to make it feel like I truly

got my feelings and thoughts out there. I decided to give it to Xander, to read. I chose

Xander because he was one of Daniel’s best friends and he has been a great friend to me

over the last couple of months. I also feel like there is something starting to happen

between Xander and me, but I’m afraid to go there yet, I don’t know if it’s too soon.

Maybe him reading the letter will give him a better understanding of why I’m hesitant

and he can either run or stay with me and continue to help me. Slowly I know my

feelings will continue to grow for him, I just hope he sticks by me long enough for us to

become something more than friends.

                     

 

Poetry

Life Under the Sea

Sea creatures Swimming about,

Mermaids play Under the rocks.

A ship sails by

Atop the waves above. The fish scurry

So not to be caught.

Crabs, lobsters, Dolphins and whales.

All are here, and all are living In life under the sea.

 Fall  has  arrived    Fall  has  arrived.  The  parks  are  filled  with  color.  A  young  girl  and  her  mother  Are  taking  a  walk.    The  little  girl  plays  in  the  leaves.  Her  mother  sees  the  joy  In  her  baby’s  smile.    Everything  so  vibrant:  The  reds,  the  oranges,  and  the  yellows.  The  trees  always  look  beautiful  This  time  of  year.    All  of  life’s  problems  seem  to  disappear    When  your  shoes  crunch  on  the  fallen  leaves.  Any  stress  or  worries  melt  away    The  minute  you  smell  fall  in  the  air.    This  is  my  favorite  time  of  year.  When  the  world  changes  in  color  And  your  perspective  changes  along  with  it.  You  can  always  tell,  When  fall  has  arrived.  

A Saturday Afternoon I am flung through the air. I twist. I turn. She doesn’t even care When I hit the mitt, I burn. Not very often Does the bat hit me. Although, it may soften The laces that are on me. I soar over the fence, She knocked me out of the park. I hope these trees aren’t too dense; Soon it will be dark. A little boy runs to find me. He succeeds at his duty. He runs to show his mommy And turn me in for a piece of candy.

I hate

I hate my skin.

I think it’s too pale and full of freckles. I hate when it burns in the sun.

I hate my nose.

I don’t like how it comes down in a straight line. I hate how it looks like a triangle.

I hate my thighs.

I can’t ever find jeans to fit over them. I hate feeling them rub together when I run.

I hate my love handles.

I feel them rolling over my jeans when I sit. I hate how they look when I wear a form-fitted top.

I hate when I criticize myself.

Every girl should feel beautiful, no matter how she looks. I hate that society makes girls feel they are not good enough.

   

 The  Storm  (Villanelle)    When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped  I  could  tell  that  I  was  falling  for  you.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    You  said  you  loved  me,  but  that  love  has  popped.  That  love  was  no  more  I  knew  it  was  true.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped    The  ship  like  my  heart,  floated  away.  Topped  With  the  feeling,  that  I  would  soon  be  blue.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    It  felt  as  if  I  was  a  fish  that  flopped.  Not  swimming  in  the  sea  and  so  I  flew.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped    The  pictures  of  us  that  have  now  been  cropped,  Are  in  the  ocean  with  the  waves  that  blew.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    The  hope  of  us  being  together  hopped  Right  off  the  side  of  the  ship  with  the  crew.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.                                        

Another Time Around (original)

Here we go again: another new school in the middle of the year. At least this time

my parents let me finish the semester before moving us. It’s bad enough to move in

middle school to a whole new state where you have to meet all new people; but, it’s even

worse to move right at semester point, right in the middle of the year. I remember

thinking to myself: “Why? Why do we need to move again? My parents promised me and

my brother that we wouldn’t move again until we graduated high school!”

These conversations happened a lot when I was growing up. My family was

originally from Nevada, but both of my parents grew up in Northwest Indiana, so that’s

where most of our family still was. When I was a toddler, we started making our way

back to Indiana. We even bounced back and forth between Indiana and Illinois a bit. I

have memories of living in Munster, Indiana when I was about 4; then we moved to Elk

Grove Village, Illinois, which is a suburb outside of Chicago. Prior to these places, I am

told that we lived in Palatine, Illinois (where my parents actually met) and Itasca, Illinois.

After bumping around a few different neighborhoods in Elk Grove Village, my parents

relocated us again further away from the city; they said the property taxes where just

getting too high where we lived, so this next move was an hour and a half away to Lake

in the Hills, Illinois.

Lake in the Hills was a great place to really grow up; it was a growing little town,

mostly made up of farms. However, our neighborhood was just being developed and

most of the other people on our block all had young kids, such as my brother and myself.

I’ll never forget the first time I met the Rude family; the two boys, Santo and Karl, were

walking down the street when my brother and I were outside playing (keeping out of our

parents’ hair). Santo was a few years older than me and Karl was a few years younger

than my brother, Patrick. We all started playing the game 4-square when his mom pulled

up in their minivan. The back door opened and out jumped a girl only one year older

than me! I was so excited to see that there was another girl in the neighborhood because

all I had seen so far were boys. Kayte and I became best friends and spent all of our time

together for the next five or six years. We had also met three other girls our age down the

street further; they had actually lived there a few years because that section of the

subdivision was already developed. The five of us were best friends and it all came to an

end when my parents sat me down to tell me that one of my friends dad’s had sold our

house for my parents. I didn’t even know it was on the market!

I later found out that Mr. Boesche was such a great realtor that he only had the

house on the market for two weeks before he had an acceptable offer. The downside was

that the people moving in wanted to be in before the New Year, only thirty days away.

My parents quickly found a house in Crown Point, Indiana, where my mom’s family still

lived. It is also only forty minutes from where half of my dad’s family lives, in Munster.

Since the semester ended two weeks after the New Year, I stayed with my friend Shelby

and the Boesche family to finish out the semester. Then came another time around.

It wasn’t that Crown Point was a bad place or anything; I just was really tired of

moving around all the time. Never really growing up in any one place, as a kid is hard. I

don’t know where I come from and I don’t have a “hometown”. These things always

seemed important to me when someone would ask where I was from and such. However,

Crown Point turned out to be pretty incredible. I made so many more close friends than I

ever had before and I was able to spend half of middle school and ALL of high school in

the same place. If I had never moved to Crown Point, Indiana, I never would have met

my best friends: Ashley, Tori, and Kaitlyn. I never would have been as close with my

aunt, uncle, three little cousins, and my grandparents. But most of all, I never would

have met my boyfriend Steven, who I have been best friends with since freshmen year

and have been in love with since Junior year of high school. We are still together, going

on four years, and will be high school and college sweethearts. Another time around isn’t

always the worst thing.

                                                           

 When  Tragedy  Strikes  (original)  

AUDRINA  

  Okay,  so  when  my  mom  got  remarried  I  kind  of  figured  that  we  would  be  

moving  into  her  husband’s  house  and  I  would  end  up  switching  schools.    I  was  

prepared  for  this,  but  I  have  only  ever  gone  to  all-­‐girl  schools  and  East  High  School  is  

a  lot  different  than  those  schools.    I  am  16  years  old,  a  sophomore  in  high  school,  

and  have  never  had  a  boyfriend.    Needless  to  say,  I  was  a  little  nervous  walking  into  

school  on  my  first  day.    One  good  thing  from  my  mom’s  marriage  is  that  I  now  have  a  

big  brother  who  says  he’s  going  to  look  out  for  me;  this  made  me  feel  better  as  I  was  

looking  around  to  find  my  locker  bay.  

  When  I  finally  found  my  way  to  my  locker,  I  frantically  started  searching  

through  my  backpack  for  the  paper  that  had  the  combination  to  open  it.    “Relax  

Audrina.  Slow  down  and  take  a  breath,”  I  said  to  myself.      I  get  my  locker  open  and  

put  my  books  in  and  as  I  turned  to  leave,  I  spot  two  of  the  cutest  guys  I  had  ever  

seen.    Who  would  happen  to  be  leading  them  towards  me;  my  new  stepbrother  Alec?    

“Hey,  Audrina.  I  wanted  to  introduce  you  to  some  of  my  friends.    This  is  Daniel  and  

Xander.    We  all  play  on  the  lacrosse  team  together”.  I  was  speechless;  coming  from  

an  all-­‐girl  school,  I  had  never  talked  with  boys  before!    I  somehow  managed  to  say,  

“Hi,  I’m  Audrina.  It’s  nice  to  meet  you  both”.    Daniel  asked  me  what  my  schedule  

looked  like  and  wanted  to  see  which  teachers  I  had.    I  handed  him  my  list  of  classes.  

“Wow!  We  have  three  classes  together  and  don’t  worry,  you  seem  to  have  a  lot  of  the  

cool  teachers”.  

  Daniel  insisted  on  walking  me  to  our  first  class  and  I  heard  Alec  say  that  “I  

was  in  good  hands”  as  Daniel  and  I  headed  in  the  opposite  direction  of  him  and  

Xander.      The  day  continued  on  in  this  fashion  and  the  boys  invited  me  to  eat  with  

them  at  lunch.    It  felt  so  strange;  at  all  my  old  schools  I  was  only  with  girls,  but  on  

my  first  day  here  I  have  made  several  guy  friends  and  haven’t  even  really  talked  

with  any  of  the  girls.    Actually,  the  only  guy  that  didn’t  seem  to  want  to  talk  to  me  

was  Alec’s  friend  Xander,  who  I  met  earlier  that  morning.    He  would  glance  up  at  me  

during  the  two  classes  we  had  with  each  other  and  I  noticed  him  do  it  again  

throughout  lunch.    But  not  once  did  he  talk  to  me.      

  Weeks  went  by  and  Daniel  began  taking  me  out  to  movies  and  dinner,  or  

even  just  to  hang  out  with  other  friends  from  lacrosse.    I  was  starting  to  feel  

something  that  I  had  never  experienced  before.    I  was  falling  in  love  for  the  first  

time.    Daniel  was  sweet  and  kind,  strong  and  athletic,  and  he  was  handsome.    Our  

relationship  grew  more  and  more  intense  within  that  next  month.    One  day  at  

school,  he  asked  me  to  wear  his  lacrosse  jersey  to  the  game  that  night.    He  knew  I  

wasn’t  all  that  interested  in  school  spirit  and  whatever,  I  had  never  watched  

lacrosse  before;  but  he  asked  me  to  go  and  watch  his  first  game  of  his  last  season…  

Of  course  I  was  going  to  cheer  him  on  and  wear  his  jersey.  

  At  the  game,  I  sat  with  my  mom  and  new  stepdad,  who  were  there  to  cheer  

on  Alec.    I  had  no  clue  as  to  how  lacrosse  worked,  but  I  followed  along  when  the  

announcer  would  say  Daniel’s  last  name  when  something  good  happened.    It  was  a  

different  side  to  Daniel  that  I  didn’t  usually  get  to  see;  he  was  rough,  mean,  and  

competitive;  but  that’s  how  captains  are  supposed  to  be  in  a  contact  sport.    After  

they  won  their  game  and  cleaned  up  in  the  showers,  Daniel  came  to  find  me.    He  

asked  me  if  I  would  go  somewhere  special  with  him  the  following  night  and  of  

course,  I  said  yes.  

  He  picked  me  up  at  seven  o’clock  sharp  and  we  took  a  drive  up  the  nearby  

mountains.    As  we  parked  at  a  lookout  near  the  peak,  the  sun  was  about  to  start  

setting.    The  colors  in  the  sky  were  beautiful,  but  made  even  more  so  by  the  storm  

clouds  beginning  to  roll  in.    With  the  storm  nearing,  there  were  great  purples  made  

across  the  sky,  mixed  in  with  the  pinks  and  oranges.    As  the  sun  was  setting,  Daniel  

looked  over  at  me  and  said,  “Audrina,  I  love  you”.    It  was  absolutely  perfect  for  how  I  

imagined  my  first  time  to  be.    I  knew  I  loved  Daniel  and  even  if  we  weren’t  going  to  

last  forever,  I  loved  him  and  he  loved  me  right  now,  in  this  moment  and  that’s  all  

that  mattered.  

  The  storm  hit  full  force  shortly  after  and  Daniel  asked  if  I  minded  driving  us  

home;  he  was  having  trouble  seeing  with  his  contacts  acting  up  and  the  rain  was  

really  pouring  down  hard.    I  switched  seats  with  him  and  began  our  slow  decent,  

back  down  the  mountain.    The  wipers  were  on  high  speed,  I  was  creeping  around  

the  twists  and  turns,  but  none  of  that  did  any  good,  when  we  suddenly  spun  and  

were  off  the  road…  

XANDER  

  She  looks  so  miserable.    She  never  talks  to  anyone  anymore,  she  just  sits  at  an  

empty  table  at  lunchtime,  and  Alec  says  he’s  heard  her  screaming  at  night  from  

nightmares.    I  wish  there  was  something  I  could  do  to  help  her,  but  I  just  don’t  know  

what  there  is  to  be  done.    I  lost  one  of  my  best  friends,  but  she  lost  her  boyfriend.    I  

know  that  even  though  it  was  an  accident,  she  hasn’t  forgiven  herself  for  it.    I’m  just  

going  to  go  up  and  talk  to  her,  see  how  she’s  doing.    “Hi  Audrina,  how  are  you  doing  

today?”    She  doesn’t  answer  me;  all  she  does  is  look  up  from  the  table  and  stare  

blankly  into  my  eyes.    I  see  the  deep  purple  circles  around  her  eyes,  a  lot  of  red  

inside  her  eyes  too.    It  looks  like  she  hasn’t  slept  in  over  a  week.    I  try  again,  “Well,  if  

you  ever  need  anything  or  want  to  talk,  I’ll  be  here  for  you”.      

  I  go  home  later  that  day  and  get  a  call  from  Alec.    “What  did  you  say  to  

Audrina  today?  She  left  school  right  after  lunch  really  upset”.    I  hadn’t  said  anything  

to  her,  as  far  as  I  could  remember,  I  asked  how  she  was  doing  and  to  let  me  know  if  

she  wanted  to  talk.    I  told  this  to  Alec  and  he  apologized  for  jumping  down  my  

throat.    He  continued  to  tell  me  about  how  bad  he  feels  that  he  can’t  cheer  her  up.    

Every  night  he  wakes  up  to  hear  her  screaming  in  her  room  next  to  his,  but  when  he  

goes  in  to  calm  her  down,  she  is  still  asleep.    I  guess  they  don’t  know  if  it’s  just  

nightmares  from  the  trauma  of  losing  Daniel  or  if  it’s  night  terrors  and  she  is  living  

the  accident  over  and  over  again.    Sometimes  Alec  can  wake  her  up  and  get  her  to  

calm  down.    Other  nights,  she  just  stays  asleep  crying,  screaming,  and  sobbing.  

  A  week  later,  Audrina  surprised  me  by  saying  “hello”  to  me  in  class.    This  was  

a  huge  thing  because  she  hasn’t  talked  to  anyone  since  that  night.    I  went  and  sat  

down  at  her  empty  table  the  next  day  at  lunch  and  waited  for  her.    When  she  spotted  

me  sitting  there,  she  came  over  and  sat  down;  she  even  had  a  little  half  smile  on  her  

lips.  

Xander: Hey Audrina. How have you been doing lately?

Audrina: I’m fine.

Xander: Ya, I can tell. Are you still having those nightmares?

Audrina: (Lying) No. I’ve slept every night this past week.

Xander: Really? Then why did Alec tell me again that he had to wake you up from a

nightmare in the middle of the night because you wouldn’t stop screaming?

Audrina: (No reply)

Xander: Look, Audrina, I care about you and I’m really trying to help you out here. But, I

can’t help you if you won’t even be honest with me.

Audrina: I never asked for your help Xander! I don’t want your help and I don’t need

your help! (Begins sobbing)

Xander: (Grabs Audrina) Hey, Hey. Shh. It’s ok, it’s ok.

I didn’t know what to say next, but she just stayed there in my arms with her head

turned into my neck and shoulder. We sat there for a while, until she stopped crying and

I apologized for being hard on her. I know that she is still adjusting, but it’s been almost

two months and she isn’t moving past what happened. I feel even worse because each

time I remember back to her first day here, I think about how beautiful she looked

standing at her locker and I asked Alec and Daniel who the new girl was. That is when

Alec told us that the new girl was also his new stepsister, Audrina. As soon as we got

close enough Daniel started chatting her up, staking a claim in his new “girl of interest”.

I backed off because he had the guts to talk to her first when I didn’t, but now that he’s

gone I feel even worse when my feelings are still there for my dead best friend’s

girlfriend.

Things seemed to be improving a little bit with Audrina. She was at least talking

to Alec and me now. But, something still didn’t seem right; weeks went by and Audrina

and I kept getting closer, but there were certain things I couldn’t say to her without her

getting quiet and sad. I had doubts that she was moving past Daniel and the accident at

all, so I decided to do some detective work while Alec took her out of the house. When

Alec texted me that the house was all clear I headed inside and I went up the stairs to the

level where the bedrooms are. I’m not one hundred percent sure which bedroom is

Audrina’s so I start looking into every room. I can eliminate Alec’s room, since we’ve

spent countless hours hanging out in there. As I am coming closer to the end of the hall, I

see a sliver through the cracked door, of a room with purple in it. As I walk in, I go over

to her dresser to look for pictures of her and Daniel. No luck. I continue to her desk,

looking for pictures or any other evidence of Daniel still being the main part of Audrina’s

life. Nothing is out and showing of the two of them together, but then I begin to open the

drawers of her desk. Drawer by drawer I find no items that I have come to find, until I

open the bottom desk drawer. There it is, all of their pictures, old movie tickets; she kept

everything they ever did together…

Clearly Alec couldn’t keep her occupied any longer because I hear his car pull up

and two doors slam shut. “Shit! I gotta get out of here”. Too late.

Xander: Audrina, I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be home so soon.

Audrina: (Very confused. Angry that Xander is in her room looking through her things)

Xander: Look. I know I shouldn’t have gone through your things, but I really needed to

know if you were getting over Daniel and the accident at all.

Audrina: (Still speechless, she sits on her bed and just stares at all the pictures and

tickets that Xander had found)

Xander: I know it must be hard for you to even think about forgetting everything that has

happened to you, but you’re never going to get better if you don’t move on from what has

happened.

Audrina: (Tears start to roll down her cheeks)

Xander: I know that you loved him and I’m not telling you to forget about him, but you

need to let someone else into your heart one of these days. Daniel wouldn’t want you to

mourn over him forever, would he?”

AUDRINA

Audrina: I can’t get over him and move past him when I still see him everywhere I go!

Xander: What do you mean you see him? Like everything reminds you about him?

Audrina: No. I mean, I think I’m seeing his ghost…

Xander: (Walking towards her) Audrina, that’s impossible. You can’t be seeing his ghost.

Ghosts aren’t real.

Audrina: Yes it is possible. The accident was my fault. It’s my fault Daniel died!

Xander: (Can’t believe what he is hearing) No, no. This isn’t possible. (Walking towards

the door to leave) I’m out of here. I’m sorry. I just need to think about this. I’m really

sorry.

Audrina: (Starts crying again (Speaking to herself)) Damn, no one will ever believe me

about this!!!

Xander has such a big mouth! He told my stepbrother about what I told him and

of course now my mom knows, so now I have to go see a psychologist. This lady thinks

I should write a letter to Daniel, expressing all of my feelings and get out what I can’t say

out loud to people. Apparently, I’m not supposed to be blaming myself for his death,

even though I was the one driving the car when he died. I guess I’ll try writing this

stupid letter anyways. Here goes nothing:

Dear Daniel,

I don’t know why I am even writing you this letter, it’s not like you

will ever get to read it. But, I need to say how sorry I am about the

night of the storm. I shouldn’t have been driving when I could

barely see the nose of the car. I am so sorry that I lost control that

night and even more sorry, everyday, that you were the one to pay

the price for my mistake. I see you all the time. I don’t know if that

is my karmic punishment or if I’m just going crazy. I am truly sorry

and I don’t know how or when I should move on with my life. You

don’t get to live yours because of me, so how is it right for me to just

continue high school and college and dating? I will always love you

Daniel.

Forever yours,

Audrina

I felt that I needed to have someone else read my letter, to make it feel like I truly

got my feelings and thoughts out there. I decided to give it to Xander, to read. I chose

Xander because he was one of Daniel’s best friends and he has been a great friend to me

over the last couple of months. I also feel like there is something starting to happen

between Xander and me, but I’m afraid to go there yet, I don’t know if it’s too soon.

Maybe him reading the letter will give him a better understanding of why I’m hesitant

and he can either run or stay with me and continue to help me. Slowly I know my

feelings will continue to grow for him, I just hope he sticks by me long enough for us to

become something more than friends.

Poems (original)

Life Under the Sea Sea creatures Swimming about, Mermaids play Under the rocks. A ship sails by Atop the waves above. The fish scurry So not to be caught. Crabs, lobsters, Dolphins and whales. All are here, and all are living In life under the sea. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Fall  has  arrived    Fall  has  arrived.  The  parks  are  filled  with  color.  A  young  girl  and  her  mother  Are  taking  a  walk.    The  little  girl  plays  in  the  leaves.  Her  mother  sees  the  joy  In  her  baby’s  smile.    Everything  so  vibrant:  The  reds,  the  oranges,  and  the  yellows.  The  trees  always  look  beautiful  This  time  of  year.    All  of  life’s  problems  seem  to  disappear    When  your  shoes  crunch  on  the  fallen  leaves.  Any  stress  or  worries  melt  away    The  minute  you  smell  fall  in  the  air.    This  is  my  favorite  time  of  year.  When  the  world  changes  in  color  And  your  perspective  changes  along  with  it.  You  can  always  tell,  When  fall  has  arrived.  -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐  

A Saturday Afternoon I am flung through the air. I twist. I turn. She doesn’t even care When I hit the mitt, I burn. Not very often Does the bat hit me. Although, it may soften The laces that are on me. I soar over the fence, She knocked me out of the park. I hope these trees aren’t too dense; Soon it will be dark. A little boy runs to find me. He succeeds at his duty. He runs to show his mommy And turn me in for a piece of candy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate I hate my skin. I think it’s too pale and full of freckles. I hate when it burns in the sun. I hate my nose. I don’t like how it has no shape to it. I hate how it looks like a triangle. I hate my thighs. I can’t ever find jeans to fit over them. I hate feeling them rub together when I run. I hate my love handles. I feel them rolling over my jeans when I sit. I hate how they look when I wear a form-fitting top. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------        

 The  Storm  (Villanelle)    When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped  I  could  tell  that  I  was  falling  for  you.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    You  said  you  loved  me,  but  that  love  has  popped.  That  love  was  no  more  I  knew  it  was  true.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped    The  ship  like  my  heart,  floated  away.  Topped  With  the  feeling,  that  I  would  soon  be  blue.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    It  felt  as  if  I  was  a  fish  that  flopped.  Not  swimming  in  the  sea  and  so  I  flew.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped    The  pictures  of  us  that  have  now  been  cropped,  Are  in  the  ocean  with  the  waves  that  blew.  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.    The  hope  of  us  being  together  hopped  Right  off  the  side  of  the  ship  with  the  crew.  When  I  looked  into  your  eyes  my  heart  stopped  Then  came  the  storm  that  showed  me  I’d  been  dropped.                                        

Revision  Response  for  Creative  Non  Fiction    

I never thought that my creative nonfiction essay would relate to so many other

classmates. It turns out that I wasn’t the only kid to move around a lot, during their

childhood. I used to think this was the case, but now I have learned that moving is a part

of life and it is something many people have to go through. I did find that my final essay

still looks a lot like my original essay. I believe that when I write a “first draft” of a

paper, I consciously know to make it as perfect as I can, that way my revision process is a

lot easier. After getting feedback from my peers, I have concluded that my strategy really

works for me.

I only had to change a few little things, here and there, during my revisions

because I had a solid base to my paper and story. As I mentioned before, I was really

taken back and surprised by how many other people had similar experiences to mine,

while growing up. It turns out that we all moved around at least one or two times during

a crucial part of our lives. This was not something that made me change parts of my

paper because, for the most part, people really related to my story and understood the

exact emotions I was going through from each move. I did have one suggestion to not

focus so much on the time I lived in Lake in the Hills, but I ignored the suggestion. I

ignored this suggestion because Lake in the Hills was my “record home”; I lived there for

5 ½ or 6 years and that was the longest time I had lived in one place. Therefore, I had the

most experiences and the most memories from my time spent living there. As for my

other responses to my story, people liked how I spent more time in that section because

they understood my connection and emotions to that specific home and town. This

confirmed my decision not to touch that part of my story.

I enjoyed how we had to read our stories out loud to our group, even though it

was embarrassing at times from personal memories. I enjoyed doing this because I don’t

normally read my stories and essays out loud to myself; I found word choice mistakes

when reading it to the group. Sometimes, something will sound good in your head or as

you are writing it, but when you say it out loud, it can be completely awkward or

confusing because of your word choice.

In the past, my revision process has usually remained the same. First, I review the

comments I have received and decide which suggestions I want to incorporate into my

paper. It is usually small, grammatical errors or questionable word choices. I usually

listen to others on their suggestions if they are better with grammar than I am. However,

I have been writing only research and scholarly papers for the last few years, so I have

found that my revision process could be different for creative writing. In creative

writing, others give their opinions on your work and there are emotions to consider into

your stories. This factor can change a revision majorly, if a few peer readers really don’t

like a section of a story. In that situation, I would probably go through and take that part

out and try a different approach. Thankfully, all of my peers that I received responses

and comments from, seemed to truly enjoy my story and could also relate personally to

my story.

                   

Revision  Response  for  Fiction    

I had a lot of fun writing this fiction short story because it was bits and pieces of a larger

idea that I had for a story. Getting all of the feedback that I did get was helpful because it

showed me how different each individual could interpret the story. Also, different lessons

or ideas were taken away from my story depending on the individual’s experiences. For

example, one classmate wrote that the moral of the story was that life went on, but he

related to the story by the main character not wanting to move past something when

everyone is telling them to move on.

Everyone seemed to like my short story and the different narrators of the story.

Decided to do it a little differently because I wanted my narration to be in first person

throughout the entire story, but also have different character’s points of view. People

seemed to respond well to having the narrator’s name in bold before the next section

started because it was easy to follow along with. One thing that I had mixed responses

about was the way my dialog was written. At first, I didn’t know how to go back and

forth, constantly, between two characters talking; this is why I originally wrote my dialog

in the format of a screen write. However, one of my classmates, who had great dialog in

their story, gave me suggestions on how to just introduce who is speaking with simple

phrases or descriptive language. I took their advice and re-wrote my dialog in a different

set up.

As far as any other revisions, the only other thing that there was to work on was

making it easier for the readers to know how much time has past. There were two or

three sections/scenes in the story where I changed and added more events to show the

length of time, in order to help the readers follow along; but most importantly, to explain

why my main character is so distraught after the loss of her boyfriend.

Every time that I read my story out loud, I caught a few more typos and quickly

changed them on the spot. I normally do a better job at reading my story before I submit

it; however, I compiled a lot of journal sections from when we worked on characters and

plots, plus added quite a bit of new material, so I was more focused on making sure each

piece made sense and fit into place with the others. I think it would be very beneficial to

read my stories/work out loud every time that I write because that seems to be the best

way to catch little mistakes. A lot of my little mistakes are words that can make a

different word with the change of just one letter, so I need to look more closely for that

next time.

When I was making my decisions about what advice to take from peers

considering changes, I tried looking at their writing to see if what they were suggesting

was also in their writing and if it will make my story better or worse. As far as grammar,

I am pretty good on my own, so when people suggest something to change, I try to find if

they are even better at grammar than I am, or if they make those mistakes in their papers

and it would therefore be a mistake in my paper.

Overall, I really enjoy getting to work with multiple groups of people and getting

feedback from a larger number of classmates. It seems to be very helpful and I hope to

continue with these workshops.

           

Revision  Response  for  Poems    

Poetry was by far my most difficult section to write on; however, I think it was the most

difficult section for my peers to critique, as well. I say this because I received much of

the same comments from each group. My poems were easy to read and none really had a

“deeper meaning” behind the words of the poem. That is my poetry though, I am very

upfront with my words and I say what I mean and mean what I say.

The only thing that stuck out at me in my responses was someone recommending

on a “concluding” stanza in, I Hate, to maybe introduce a lesson. I did make this revision

to my poem because the previous stanzas were about body image of a girl and her being

to hard on herself. I decided to bring up society’s pressure on teenage girls to look a

certain way and how they will never truly be “good enough”. This poem had a deeper

meaning that was subtle because I was one of those teenage girls who was never enough

for anyone’s “standards”. I always find faults in my appearance, no matter what the scale

or mirror says.

As far as my other revisions that I made, I changed the forms and structures to a

few of the poems. I found that the short and sweet “children’s poems” seemed to look

better with a centered structure. I did not need to change my line breaks or stanza breaks,

so that was nice. I am just worried that some of my lines are obviously sentence

fragments; but with poetry I don’t know how to break up lines without having fragments.

I hope that how I have my lines broken up are technically correct in poetry.

Overall, I thought that my poetry process was very long, but well worth it. I have

been writing these poems since the semester started and some of them were from

exercises that we started in class. Although, I have to say that my villanelle poem, The

Storm, was the most challenging. Not only is the fixed form challenging to write in; but

also I did an extra challenge to make every line 10 syllables.

For the future, I really wish that I could become better at thinking of metaphors to

use in my writing. After reading some of my classmates’ poems, I couldn’t even tell

what their poems were truly about because they were using so many metaphors. Like I

was saying in class, I can find metaphors and decipher hidden meanings in poems and

lyrics, most of the time, but I have a very tough time thinking of my own in my head, for

my own writing. If I continued to write poetry, I would really like to write children’s

poems. I am not the best with rhyming, but I can make poems short, to the point, and

have a good lesson in there for them to learn. It was really fun to write these poems

because I have not worked on my poetry since I was in elementary school; always

making up poems and writing them in my “Poetry Binder”.