life lessons from matthew mcconaughey

8/19/2019 Life Lessons From Matthew McConaughey

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*Oscar winning actor Matthew McConaughey surprised the class of 2015

with this amazing commencement speech at the University of ouston!*

Matthew McConaughey

"arlier last wee#$ Oscar winning Matthew McConaughey surprised the

graduating class of 2015 with an amazing commencement speech at the

University of ouston!

%lthough McConaughey intended to #eep it short$ the speech &lled with

interesting snippets from his own life and career left the audience

as#ing for more!

'earing white shirt and (lac# trousers$ the actor too# to the stool$

folded his sleeves and said) Congratulations$ class of 2015

+he ne,t few minutes$ he mesmerised the crowd with encouraging words of

wisdom!

-or all those who missed it$ we (ring you the +op 1. ta#e/aways from the

speech that inspired the young audience$ graduating class of 2015! ead on

*1!**ife is not easy*

ifes not easydont try and ma#e it that way!


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3ts not fair$ it never was$ it isnt now$ it wont ever (e!

4o not fall into the entitlement trap of feeling you are a victim$ you

are not!

et over it and get on with it! %nd yes$ most things are more rewarding

when you (rea# a sweat to get em!

*2!**6Un(elieva(le6 is the stupidest word in the dictionary*

3t shouldnt ever come out of our mouths!

+o say$ 6'hat an un(elieva(le play76 63t was an un(elieva(le (oo#$ &lm$

act of couragereally8

3t may (e spectacular$ phenomenal$ most e,cellent and outstanding (ut

un(elieva(le8 9O!

ive others and yourself more credit!

3t :ust happened$ you witnessed it$ you :ust did it$ (elieve it!

ow a(out the other side of un(elieva(le8

'hen we humans 6under perform6 or act out of character8 // 6man ;ies a


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suicide :et into the 'orld +rade Center$ millions die from diseases that

we have cures for!


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63 :ust want to (e happy!6 3 hear that all the time! ect$ @uid pro @uo standard that we cannot

sustain (ecause we immediately raise it every time we attain it!

Aou see$ happiness demands a certain outcome$ it is result reliant!

3f happiness is what youre after$ then you are going to (e let down

fre@uently and (e unhappy much of your time!

?oy$ though$ is something else!

3ts not a choice$ not a response to some result$ it is a constant!

?oy is 6the feeling we have from doing what we are fashioned to do$6 no

matter the outcome!

Bersonally$ as an actor$ 3 started en:oying my wor# and literally (eing

happier when 3 stopped trying to ma#e the daily la(our a means to a

certain end8!

-or e,ample$ 3 need this &lm to (e a (o, oce success$ 3 need my


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performance to (e ac#nowledged$ 3 need the respect of my peers!

%ll reasona(le aspirations (ut truth is$ as soon as the wor#$ the ma#ing

of the movie$ the doing of the deed (ecame the reward in itself // 3 got

more (o,/oce$ more accolades and respect than 3d ever had (efore!

=ee$ :oy is always in process$ under construction // its in the

constant approach$ alive and well //in the doing of what we are

fashioned to do and en:oying doing it!

*D!**4e&ne success for yourself*

3 went to a voodoo shop south of 9ew Orleans a few years (ac# // they

had vials of 6magic6 potions stac#ed in columns with headings a(ove each

de&ning what they would give you // fertility$ health$ family$ legal

help$ energy$ forgiveness$ money!

uess which column was empty8

Money!

ets admit it$ 6money6 is #ing today$ ma#es the world go round! Money

is successE the more we have$ the more 6successful6 we are$ right8

3d argue that our cultural values have even (een &nancialised //

humility is not in vogue any more$ its too passive! 3ts a get rich


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@uic# on the internet$ 15 minutes of fame world we live in!

'e see it every day!


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ife is not a popularity contest!


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3 gotta ta#e the tally!


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night$ putting me in more scenes which led to more lines all of which 3

happily said Aes to!

3 was having a (last!

Beople said 3 was good at it$ they were writing me a chec# for K.25 a day!

3 mean hell yeah$ give me more scenes$ 3 love what 3 am doing77

%nd (y the end of the shoot those three lines had turned into over three

wee#s wor# and 6it was 'oodersons L0 Chevelle we went to get %erosmith

tic#ets in!6


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e :ust 6li#es those high school girls cause he gets older and they stay

the same age!6

My point is$ 3 should not have (een in that scene$ i should have e,ited

screen left and never come (ac#!


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+hey gossip too much$ or theyre #ind of shady$ and they really arent

gonna (e there for you in a pinch8

Or how a(out that (ar we #eep going to that we always seem to have the

worst hangover from8

Or that computer screen that #eeps giving us an e,cuse not to get out of

the house and engage with the world and get some human interaction8

Or how a(out that food we #eep eating8

+astes so good going down (ut ma#es us feel li#e crap the ne,t wee# when

we feel lethargic and #eep putting on weight8

+hose people$ those places$ those things // stop giving them your time

and energy!

4ont go there$ put them down // and when you do @uit giving them your

time$ you inadvertently &nd yourself spending more time and in more

places that are more healthy for you$ that (ring you more :oy // why8


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=o get rid of the e,cess$ the wasted time$ decrease your options and

you will have accidentally$ almost innocently$ put in front of you$ what

is important to you (y process of elimination!

Fnowing who we are is hard!

ive yourself a (rea#!

"liminate who you are not &rst$ and youll &nd yourself where you need

to (e!

*!**4ont leave crum(s* // *and the (eauty of delayed grati&catio**n*

'hat are crum(s8 +he crum(s 3m tal#ing a(out are the choice= we ma#e

that ma#e us have to loo# over our shoulder in the future!

Aou didnt pay that guy (ac# the money you owed him and tonight you :ust

saw him sitting three rows (ehind youshit

Aou slept around on your spouse and you :ust found out that tomorrow$

she and the lady youre having an a>air with$ are going to (e at the

same B+% meetingshit again

Aou dran# too much last night and youre too hungover to drive your son

to his N a!m! =aturday morning (ase(all practice!


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+hese are crum(s7

+hey come in the form of regret$ guilt$ and remorse // you leave em

today$ they will cause you more stress tomorrow$ and they disallow you

from creating a customized future in which you do not have to loo# over

your shoulder!

=olets ;ip the script! 3nstead of creating outcomes that ta#e from

us$ lets create more outcomes that pay us (ac#$ &ll us up$ #eep your

&re lit$ turn you on$ for the most amount of time in your future!

+hese are the choices 3 spea# of and this is the (eauty of delayed

grati&cation!

+ee yourself up! 4o yourself a favor! Ma#e the choices$ the purchase

today that pays you (ac# tomorrow! esiduals! 3n my (usiness$ its

called 6mail(o, money!6 3 do my :o( well today$ 3 get chec#s in the

mail(o, &ve years from now // hec# of a deal!

=o$ whether its prepping the co>ee ma#er the night (efore so all you

gotta do is press the (utton in the morning$ or getting ready for the

:o( interview early so you dont have to cram the night (efore$ or

choosing not to hoo# up with that married woman (ecause you #now youll

feel horri(le a(out it tomorrow Gand her hus(and carries a gunH$ or

paying your de(ts on time so when you do see that guy three rows (ac#


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tonight // you dont have to hun#er down in your seat hoping he dont

see you!

et some !O!3 // eturn On 3nvestment // Aour investment! Aou! Aou

customise your future!

4O9+ "%" CUM


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appreciating the simple things we sometimes ta#e for granted!

'e give than#s for these things and that gratitude reciprocates$

creating more to (e than#ful for! 3ts simple$ and it wor#s!

3m not saying (e in denial of your failures! 9o$ we can learn from them

too$ (ut only if we loo# at them constructively!

%s a means to reveal what we are good at$ what we can get (etter at$

what we do succeed at!

3ve read a lot of my (ad reviews$ and the good 6(ad reviews$6 written

(y the more talented critics$ are constructive!

+hey reveal to me what did translate in my wor#$ what came across$ what

was seen$ or what wasnt! 3 dont o(sess on the unfavora(le aspect of

their review$ (ut 3 do see# what 3 can learn from it //


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:oy$ our honest pain$ our laughter$ our earned tearsets dissect that

and give than#s for those things and when we do that what happens8 'e

get (etter at themand have more to dissect!

*N!**Ma#e voluntary o(ligations*

Mom and dad teach us things as children!

+eachers$ mentors$ the government and laws all give us guidelines to

navigate life$ rules to a(ide (y in the name of accounta(ility!

3m not tal#ing a(out those o(ligations! 3m tal#ing a(out the ones we

ma#e with ourselves$ with our od$ with our own consciousness! 3m

tal#ing a(out the Aou versus Aou o(ligations! 'e have to have them!

%gain$ these are not societal laws and e,pectations that we ac#nowledge

and endow for anyone other than ourselves! +hese are faith (ased

o(ligations that we ma#e on our own!

9ot the lowered insurance rate for a good driving record$ you will not

(e &ned or put in :ail if you do not gratify the o(ligations 3 spea# of

// no one else governs these (ut you!

+heyre secrets with yourself$ private council$ personal protocols$ and

while no(ody throws you a party when you a(ide (y them$ no one will

arrest you when you (rea# them either! ",cept yourself! Or$ some cops

who got a 6distur(ing the peace6 call at 2).0 in the morning (ecause you


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were playing (ongos in your (irthday suit!

10 Croc#ery +hat 'ill %ctually eave Aou =tunned

Phttp)JJshopping!redi>!comJcategoriesJCroc#eryJcat/12022Q

2D ",citing Mo(ile andsets Aou 9eed ight %way7

Phttp)JJshopping!redi>!comJcategoriesJMo(ile/andsetsJcat/N.L1Q

Mind(lowing


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=o$ 3ve got a friend over one -riday night and were having a good time

and 3m telling her a(out how happy 3 am with my set up!

+he house! +he maid! "specially$ the maid!

3m telling her$ 6she cleans the place after 3 go to wor#$ washes my

clothes$ the dishes$ puts fresh water (y my (ed$ leaves me coo#ed meals

sometimes$ and she even presses my :eans76

My friend$ she smiles at me$ happy for my genuine e,citement over this

6lu,ury service6 3m getting$ and she says$ 6'ellthats greatif you

li#e your :eans pressed!6

3 #ind of loo#ed at her$ #ind of stuttered without saying anything$ you

#now$ that dum( ass loo# you can get$ and it hit me

3 hate that line going down my :eans7

%nd it was then$ for the &rst time$ that 3 noticed3ve never thought

a(out not li#ing that starched line down the front of my :eans77


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something!

?ust (ecause you can8 9ah

3ts not a good enough reason to do something! "ven when it means having

more$ (e discerning$ choose it$ (ecause you want it$ do it (ecause you

want to!

3ve never had my :eans pressed since!

*10!**% roof is a man made thing*

?anuary .$ 1II.! 9- playo>s!

Aour ouston Oilers vs! alo


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May(e they started thin#ing a(out the ne,t opponent at halftime$ played

on their heels$ lost the mental edge the entire second half and voila$

they lost!

3n a mere two @uarters defensive coordinator ?im "ddy went from (eing

called 4C Of +he Aear and 6the man &rst in line to (e a C ne,t year6

to a man without a :o( in the 9-!

Aou ever cho#ed8

Aou #now what 3 mean$ fum(led at the goal line$ stuc# your foot in your

mouth once you got the microphone$ had a (rain freeze on the e,am you

were totally prepared for$ forgot the punch line to a :o#e in front of

four thousand graduating students at a University of ouston

Commencement speech8

Or may(e youve had that feeling of 6Oh my od$ life cant get any

(etter$ do 3 deserve this86

'hat happens when we get that feeling8

'e tense up$ we have this outer (ody e,perience where we are literally

seeing our self in the third person!

'e realise that the moment :ust got (igger than us! Aou ever felt that

way8 3 have!


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3ts (ecause we have created a &ctitious ceiling$ a roof$ to our

e,pectations of ourselves$ a limit // where we thin# its all too good

to (e true!


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'hen we do this$ the race is never over! +he :ourney has no port! +he

adventure never ends (ecause we are always on our way!

4o this$ and let them tap us on the shoulder and say$ 6hey$ you scored!6

et them tell you 6Aou won!6

et them come tell you$ 6you can go home now!6 et them say 63 love you

too!6 et them say 6than# you!6

+a#e the lid o> the man made roofs we put a(ove ourselves and always

play li#e an underdog!

*11!**+urn the page*

+he late and great University of +e,as foot(all coach 4aryl oyal was a

friend of mine and a good friend to many!

% lot of people loo#ed up to him!

One was a musician named 6arry!6 9ow at this time in his life arry was

in the prime of his country music career$ had V1 hits and his life was

rollin!

e had pic#ed up a ha(it snortin 6the white stu>6 somewhere along the


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line and at one particular party after a 6(athroom (rea#$6 arry went

con&dently up to his mentor 4aryl and he started telling Coach a story!

Coach listened as he always had and when arry &nished his story and

was a(out to wal# away$ Coach oyal put a gentle hand on his shoulder

and very discreetly said$ 6arry$ you got something on your nose there (ud!6

arry immediately hurried to the (athroom mirror where he saw some white

powder he hadnt cleaned o> his nose! e was ashamed! e was em(arrassed!

%s much (ecause he felt so disrespectful to Coach oyal$ and as much

(ecause hed o(viously gotten too comforta(le with the drug to even hide

as well as he should!

'ell$ the ne,t day arry went to coachs house$ rang the door(ell$ Coach

answered and he said$ 6Coach$ 3 need to tal# to you!6 4aryl said$ 6sure$

cmon in!6

arry confessed! e purged his sins to Coach!

e told him how em(arrassed he was$ and how hes 6lost his way6 in the

midst of all the fame and fortune and towards the end of an hour$ arry$

in tears$ as#ed Coach$ 6'hat do you thin# 3 should do86

9ow$ Coach$ (eing a man of few words$ :ust loo#ed at him and calmly

confessed himself!


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e said$ 6arry$ 3 have never had any trou(le turning the page in the

(oo# of my life!6

arry got so(er that day and he has (een for the last D0 years!

Aou ever get in a rut8 =tuc# on the merry/go/round of a (ad ha(it8 3 have!

Aou are going to ma#e mista#es // own them$ ma#e amends$ and move on!

uilt and regret #ills many a man (efore their time! +urn the page$ get

o> the ride!

Aou are the author of the (oo# of your life! +urn the page!

*12!**ive your o(stacles credit*

Aou #now these 9o -ear t/shirts8 3 dont get em!

ell$ 3 try to scare myself at least once a day! 3 get (utter;ies every

morning (efore 3 go to wor#!

3 was nervous (efore 3 got here to spea# tonight! 3 thin# fear is a good

thing!

'hy8


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=ay your o(stacle is fear of re:ection! Aou want to as# her out (ut you

fear she may say 6no!6

Aou want to as# for that promotion (ut youre scared your (oss will

thin# youre overstepping your (ounds!

'ell$ instead of denying these fears$ declare them$ say them out loud$

admit them$ give them the credit they deserve!

4ont get all macho and act li#e theyre no (ig deal$ and dont get

paralysed (y denying they e,ist and therefore a(andoning your need to

overcome them!

3 mean$ 3d su(scri(e to the (elief that were all destined to have to

do the thing we fear the most anyway!

=o$ you give your o(stacles credit and you will one! -ind the courage to

overcome them or see clearly that they are not really worth prevailing over!


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'ell$ when did 1. get the (ad rap and (ecome the mongrel of numerology8

+hirteens never done me wrong!

3n fact$ 1. has (een a pretty luc#y num(er for me$ lemme tell you how)

3ve always ta#en these 21 day trips (y myself to far o> places where 3

usually dont #now the language and no(ody #nows my name! +heyre

adventures and theyre a purge$ a cleanse for me!

i#e a 21/day fast from attention$ from all the things 3 have in my well

appointed life! +heyre a chec# out$ so 3 can chec# in with myself!

=ee how 3m doing$ (e forced to (e my own and only company$ to have a

loo# in my mirror! and you #now what can happen when we do that //

sometimes we dont li#e what we see!

3n 1II$ right after 3 got 6famous6 from a &lm called J% +ime to FillJ$

3 headed out on one of these 21/day wal#a(outs // this time to the

:ungles and mountains of Beru!

+he sudden fame 3d :ust gotten was somewhat un(alancing! My face was

everywhere$ everyone wanted a piece of me$ people 3d never met were

swearing they 6loved me6 // everywhere 3 went$ there 3 was$ on a

(ill(oard$ a magazine cover!


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3t was :ust weird! 'hat was this all a(out8

'hat was reality and what was (ullshit8 4id 3 deserve all this86 were

all @uestions 3 was as#ing myself!

6'ho was 386 was another!

9ow$ theres always an initiation period with these trips! %n amount of

time that it ta#es for the place to initiate the traveller!

+he time it ta#es to disconnect from the world we left$ and (ecome

completely present in the one we are travelling in

-or me$ that initiation period usually last a(out thirteen days! Aes!

+hirteen hellish days until 3m out of my own way! %fter that$ the trip

is smooth sailing!

'ell$ it was the night of the twelfth day of my 21/day trip!

3 was settling into camp$ 3d already hi#ed N0 miles to this point and

had a three/day tre# to Machu Bichu ahead of me!

3 was sic# of myself! 'restling with the loss of my anonymity$ guilt

ridden for sins of my past$ full of regret! 3 was lonely // disgusted

with the company 3 was #eeping my own // and doing a pretty good :o( of

mentally (eating the shit out of myself!


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rappling with the demons on this night$ 3 couldnt sleep!

%ll of these (adges and (anners and e,pectations and an,ieties 3 was

carrying with me! 3 needed to free myself from them

'ho was 38 3 as#ed myself! 9ot only on this trip (ut in this life!

=o 3 stripped down to nothing!

3 too# o> every moni#er that gave me pride and con&dence$ all the

window dressings$ the pac#aging around my product GheartH!

3 discarded my luc#y and faithful %merican cap$ stripped o> my

talismans from adventures past! 3 even discarded my late fathers gold

ring he gave to me that was made from a meltdown of he and my moms

class rings and gold from one of her teeth!

3 was na#ed! iterally and &guratively! %nd 3 got sic#!

=oa#ed in sweat$ 3 threw up until there was no (ile left in my (elly$

and &nally passed out from e,haustion!

% few hours later$ 3 awo#e on this thirteenth morning to a rising sun!

=urprisingly fresh and energised$ 3 dressed$ made some tea and went for

a morning wal#!


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9ot towards my destination Machu Bichu (ut rather to nowhere in particular!

My gut was still a (it pi@ued from last nights purge$ yet 3 curiously

felt pretty good) alive$ clean$ free$ light!

%long a muddy path on this wal#$ 3 turned a corner and there in the

middle of the road was a mirage of the most magni&cent pin#s and (lues

and red colours 3 had ever seen!

3t was electric$ glowing and vi(rant$ hovering :ust o> the surface$ as

if it was plugged in to some neon power plant!

3 stopped! 3 stared! +here was no way around it) +he :ungle ;oor in

front of me was actually thousands of (utter;ies! +here$ in my path! 3t

was spectacular!

3 stayed awhile$ and somewhere in my captivation$ 3 heard this little

voice inside my head say these words$ 6%ll 3 want is what 3 can see$ and

what 3 can see$ is in front of me!6

%t that moment$ for the &rst time on this trip$ 3 had stopped

anticipating what was around the corner$ stopped thin#ing a(out what was

coming up ne,t and what was up ahead! +ime slowed down! 3 was no longer

in a rush to get anywhere! My an,ieties were eased!


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% few hours later 3 returned to camp and pac#ed for my continued :ourney

onto Machu Bichu! 3 had a (ounce in my step$ new energy! +he local

=herpas 3 was travelling with even noticed$ calling out to me$ 6sois luz

Mateo$ sois luz7776 // meaning 6you are light6 in =panish!

Aou see$ 3 forgave myself that morning! 3 let go of the guilt$ the

weight on my shoulders lifted$ my penance paid$ and 3 got (ac# in good

graces with od!

3 shoo# hands with myself$ my (est friend$ the one were all stuc# with

anyway!

-rom that morning on$ the adventure was awesome!

3 was present$ out of my own way$ not anticipating ne,t$ em(racing only

what was in front of my eyes$ and giving everything the :ustice it deserved!

Aou see$ 3 crossed a truth that morning!

4id 3 &nd it8 3 dont #now$ 3 thin# it found me! 'hy8


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3 (elieve the truth is all around us$ all the time!

+he answer$ you #now$ its always right there!


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!having the patience to internalise it // and get it from our

intellectual head and into our (ones and soul and our instinct! 'e cant

rush this part$ it ta#es time!

%nd if we get that far! 'e received it$ we personalised it$ we

internalized it! 3f we ma#e it that far$ then comes the (iggie !

aving the courage to act on it! +o actually ta#e it into our daily

lives and practice it$ to ma#e it an active part of who we are and live it!

3f we can do that$ then we have what 3 (elieve is eaven on "arth!

+he place where what we want is also :ust what we need! 3 mean thats

the tic#et isnt it778 +hats where 3 want to live77

=o while were here$ lets ma#e it a place where we (rea# a sweat$ where

we (elieve$ where we en:oy the process of succeeding in the places and

ways we are fashioned to!

'here we dont have to loo# over our shoulder (ecause we are too (usy

doing what were good at! oluntarily #eeping our own council (ecause we

want to!

+ravelling towards immortal &nish lines! 'e write our (oo#! Overcome

our fears! 'e ma#e friends with ourselves!


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+hat is the place 3m tal#ing a(out!

+han# you$ good luc# and :ust #eep living!

life lessons from matthew mcconaughey

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