Johnny Lucas | Election Debate: Canadians held hostage | canada news report

Election Debate: Canadians held hostage

By Johnny Lucas

That leaders’ debate! What kind of television was that? 95% of U-tube kittens and pratfalls are better produced and have more authenticity and structure. What is was, was a hostage video. They threatened, they promised, they tried to create drama by accusing the other guys of being the kidnappers. They had enough pancake make up to make hoods over the heads redundant and they were so jittery that the Uzis were certainly only a few feet off-camera. All that was lacking was someone holding up today’s newspaper to prove that they were still alive.

And the set! Apparently it was constructed today – I know this because the workers made the front page of the National Post – but it was cheap and the paint was chipped. It reminded me of Star Trek before colour TV was invented and was not as interesting as watching Captain Canada and a multicultural cast in stretchy pyjamas trying to make contact with strange life forms (voters).

Did you see the “cameras” floating behind black glass in the background? Cameras my eye – clearly those were terrorists keeping an eye on what they thought were hostages. Is it hostages when they go willingly? Is it hostages when no one wants them back?

And what about the “typical Canadians” who suddenly, if briefly, appeared on screen asking a question. “On screen” how many Trekkies will forget that phrase? They were chosen from 6,000 people who sent in questions. Nothing wrong with the questions but why did they choose people who most approximated newscasters? There was nary an um or an eh from the lot of them. If that was reality, well, the ransom video industry is in bigger trouble than anyone guessed.

So, primitive Star Trek or a hostage video? Hard to tell when so many of us were silently pleading “Scotty, beam me outta here.”