improving sentences 7-12 th grade improving sentences powerpoint, © may 2007 by prestwick house,...

Improving Sentences

7-12th grade

Improving Sentences PowerPoint, © May 2007 by Prestwick House, Inc. All rights reserved.

Author & Creator: Sondra Abel

Fragments


Fragments:

For a sentence to be complete, it must express a complete thought. It must have both a subject and a verb (an independent clause). For example:

I hate walnuts. My family lives by the beach. Traffic is horrible in the city.

Have you thought about the project?


If a sentence does not contain a subject and a verb, it is a sentence fragment. Fragments are incomplete thoughts. For example:

The student. Merged onto the exit ramp.

Every morning after breakfast. With food in his beard.

These fragments leave the reader with questions such as What next? So what? etc.


The fragments could be combined to make a single sentence:

Every morning after breakfast, the student merged onto the exit ramp with food in his beard.


The fragments could also be used individually to make complete sentences: The student was excited about the field trip. The speeding car merged onto the exit ramp. Every morning after breakfast, we brush our

teeth. The professor often wandered around the

campus with food in his beard.


A fragment can also occur if a prepositional phrase is left standing alone. For example:

Under the table. With all my might.

From the right. In New York City.


To make the prepositional phrases part of a complete sentence, add a subject and a verb.

The food fell under the table. I tried with all my might to open the jar. The warm front moved from the right.

Hotels in New York City are expensive.


A fragment can also occur if an adverb clause is left standing alone. An adverb clause looks like a sentence because it has a subject and a verb. However, if left alone and incomplete, it is a sentence fragment. For example:

Where she left them. If the dog isn’t walked regularly.

When the doctor prepared for surgery. Although the representative ran a good

campaign.


Adverb clauses are dependent clauses. Therefore, connect them to an independent clause to form a complete sentence.


Examples:

The books were where she left them. If the dog isn’t walked regularly, he will

become fat. When the doctor prepared for surgery, she

washed her hands and put on gloves. Although the representative ran a good

campaign, she was not elected for a second term.


Another way that sentence fragments can occur is when verbal phrases are left by themselves. For example:

Prancing around the ring. Running across the grass. Excited by the speed of the horse’s gallop. Rustled in the wind.


These phrases don’t express complete thoughts unless they are joined to another clause.

Prancing around the ring, the show horse entertained the audience.

The horse seemed to truly enjoy running across the grass.

Excited by the speed of the horse’s gallop, the rider threw his hands wildly into the air.

The horse’s mane rustled in the wind.

Run-on Sentences


A run-on is created when multiple independent clauses appear in a sentence and no punctuation is used to separate them. To correct the run-on sentence, one of the following

items can be used:

A. semicolon

B. period

C. comma + a conjunction


Example:After being injected with the chemical, the rodent ran wildly around its cage then it began biting other mice.

(A) After being injected with the chemical, the rodent ran wildly around its cage; then it began biting other mice.

(B) After being injected with the chemical, the rodent ran wildly around its cage. Then it began biting other mice.

(C) After being injected with the chemical, the rodent ran wildly around its cage, and then it began biting other mice.

In this run-on, we have two thoughts. Here are a few ways to clarify and correct the run-on:


Examples:1. People came from far and wide to see Jackie’s abstract art exhibit she was disappointed that her fiancé wasn’t there.

(A) People came from far and wide to see Jackie’s abstract art exhibit; she was disappointed that her fiancé wasn’t there.

(B) People came from far and wide to see Jackie’s abstract art exhibit. She was disappointed that her fiancé wasn’t there.

(C) People came from far and wide to see Jackie’s abstract art exhibit, but she was disappointed that her fiancé wasn’t there.


Examples:

2. The prairie was full of blue and purple flowers the petals blew in the wind rhythmically back and forth like waves in the ocean.

(A) The prairie was full of blue and purple flowers; the petals blew in the wind rhythmically back and forth like waves in the ocean.

(B) The prairie was full of blue and purple flowers. The petals blew in the wind rhythmically back and forth like waves in the ocean.

(C) The prairie was full of blue and purple flowers, and the petals blew in the wind rhythmically back and forth like waves in the ocean.


Examples:

3. The man wandered aimlessly about the yard as if he had lost something important he hadn’t lost anything.

(A) The man wandered aimlessly about the yard as if he had lost something important; he hadn’t lost anything.

(B) The man wandered aimlessly about the yard as if he had lost something important. He hadn’t lost anything.

(C) The man wandered aimlessly about the yard as if he had lost something important, but he hadn’t lost anything.


Examples:

4. The buzzards circled the dying animal until it took its last breath and collapsed onto the cold ground the birds swooped down and devoured the carcass in a frenzy.

(A) The buzzards circled the dying animal until it took its last breath and collapsed onto the cold ground; the birds swooped down and devoured the carcass in a frenzy.

(B) The buzzards circled the dying animal until it took its last breath and collapsed onto the cold ground. The birds swooped down and devoured the carcass in a frenzy.

(C) The buzzards circled the dying animal until it took its last breath and collapsed onto the cold ground, and the birds swooped down and devoured the carcass in a frenzy.

Combining Primer Sentences


If multiple short, independent sentences follow each other, the writing can sound choppy. Using many short, choppy sentences (called primer sentences) makes it difficult for readers to identify the main idea. Therefore, primer sentences should be combined.


There are many ways to combine these sentences. One possible way is:

Example: Last Saturday, I went to the movies. I saw Battle on the Home Front. It was the worst film I’ve ever seen. Its only focus seemed to be on blood and gore. They never even mentioned the reason for the battle.

Last Saturday, I saw the film, Battle on the Home Front, which was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. The cause of the battle was never mentioned; instead, the movie focused on blood and gore.


Examples:

1. I had a cavity. It caused a lot of pain. I went to the dentist. The doctor filled the cavity. He gave me a shot of Novocain. It made my mouth numb.

(A) I had a cavity that caused a lot of pain. I went to the dentist, and the doctor filled it. He gave me a shot of Novocain, and it made my mouth numb.

(B) I had a cavity. Because it caused a lot of pain, I went to the dentist and had it filled. The doctor gave me a shot of Novocain, which made my mouth numb.

(C) I had a cavity, which was causing a lot of pain, so I went to the dentist. When the doctor filled the cavity, he gave me a shot of Novocain, which made my mouth numb.


Examples:2. Butterflies begin as caterpillars. The caterpillars eat a lot of

plants to get fat. They build a cocoon. Caterpillars stay in the cocoon for days. They grow wings. They leave the cocoon. They fly away.

(A) Butterflies begin as caterpillars. After eating a lot of plants to get fat, they build a cocoon and stay in it for days. After they grow wings, they leave the cocoon and fly away.

(B) Butterflies begin as caterpillars. Caterpillars eat a lot of plants to get fat. Then, they build a cocoon and stay in it for days. They grow wings and leave the cocoon. Then they fly away.

(C) Butterflies begin as caterpillars that eat a lot of plants to get fat. They build a cocoon and stay in it for days. They grow wings, leave the cocoon, and fly away.


Examples:

3. I like Disney World. There are many fun rides. They have a roller coaster. It made my Aunt Maggie throw up. She still likes Disney World though.

(A) I like Disney World because there are many fun rides. They have a roller coaster, which made my Aunt Maggie throw up. However, she still likes Disney World.

(B) I like Disney World because there are many fun rides, including a roller coaster. Although it made my Aunt Maggie throw up, she still likes Disney World.

(C) I like Disney World. There are many fun rides, including a roller coaster which made my Aunt Maggie throw up. She still likes Disney World.


Examples:

4. I didn’t want to do my math homework. It was hard. I didn’t understand it. No matter how hard I tried, I would never pass the class.

(A) I didn’t want to do my math homework because it was hard, and I didn’t understand it. No matter how hard I tried, I would never pass the class.

(B) I didn’t want to do my math homework because it was hard, and I didn’t understand it, and no matter how hard I tried, I would never pass the class.

(C) I didn’t want to do my math homework because it was hard, and I didn’t understand it; no matter how hard I tried, I would never pass the class.

Dangling Modifiers


A modifier is said to “dangle” when there is no word in the sentence for it to modify. These modifiers are often dependent clauses that have no subject.


Examples:

Chewing madly, the food tasted delicious.

Correction: Chewing madly, I noticed the food tasted delicious.

• Who is chewing the food?


Examples:

2. Debating for over an hour, the topic was almost resolved.

Correction: The topic was debated for over an hour and was almost resolved.

• It sounds as if the topic is debating itself.


Examples:

4. To register for the class, an ID and a credit card are necessary.

Correction: To register for the class, it is necessary for a person to have an ID and a credit card.

• An ID and a credit card cannot register for class.

Misplaced Modifiers


A modifier is said to be “misplaced” when the wrong word is modified. In this case, all of the information is present, but the words are not in the proper order.


For Example:

I saw a very tall man walking down the road in my tuxedo.

Correction:Walking down the road in my tuxedo, I saw a very tall man.


Examples: 1.I bought a CD at the mall that was cracked and broken. I bought a CD that was cracked and broken at the mall.

2. The clown entertained the child who was making balloon animals. The clown who was making balloon animals entertained the

child.

3. Caitlin poured the coffee into the mug, which was strong and black.

Caitlin poured the coffee, which was strong and black, into the mug.

4. The kite flew high in the sky with a long, blue tail behind it. The kite with a long, blue tail behind it flew high in the sky.

Parallelism


Parallel thoughts must be expressed in parallel grammatical form. In a list or series, each element must be in the same form. For example, if one item

is in past tense, all should be in past tense.

Not parallel: We drove to the store, were buying groceries, and made dinner.

Corrected: We drove to the store, bought groceries, and made dinner.


Examples:

Not parallel: The star player was running across the court, stole the ball, and making a basket.

Corrected: The star player ran across the court, stole the ball, and made a basket.

Not parallel: Laura was smart, played sports, and wanted to be an actor.

Corrected: Laura was smart, athletic, and talented.


Examples:

Not parallel: Children make crafts, enjoy playing games, and need to learn social skills at daycare.

Corrected (A): Children make crafts, play games, and learn social skills at daycare.

Corrected (B): Children enjoy making crafts, playing games, and learning social skills at daycare.

Corrected (C): Children make crafts and play games at daycare, but they also need to learn social skills.

Additional Exercises:


Sentence Fragments:

Directions: Correct the sentence fragment. Remember, every sentence must contain at least one independent clause (having a subject and a verb) and end with punctuation (period, question mark, or exclamation point) to be complete.


Correct the fragment:

1. I expected to find the kitchen neat and orderly, but it was a mess. With food on the floor and dishes in the sink.

2. Looking at all the money in the mint.

3. At the park, the boys played fetch with the puppy. While their parents had a picnic.

4. At the exact moment I called her.


Correct the fragment:

5. The university offers numerous degree programs. Including engineering, architecture, art, and biology.

6. The current bill proposal is incomplete as it stands. Which is why Senator Rodgers has proposed several amendments.

7. The quarterback threw a temper tantrum and left the field. Leaving his teammates during a critical period in the game.

8. All over the mountains, the snow.

Possible Answers

Sentence Fragments


1. I expected to find the kitchen neat and orderly, but it was a mess. Food was on the floor and dishes were in the sink.

2. Answers will vary. Example: I thought of all the wonderful things I could buy while looking at all the money in the mint.


3. While their parents had a picnic at the park, the boys played fetch with the puppy.

4. Answers will vary. Example: At the exact moment I called her, the doorbell rang.

5. The university offers numerous degree programs, including engineering, architecture, art, and biology.


6. (A) The current bill proposal is incomplete as it stands, which is why Senator Rodgers has proposed several amendments.

(B) Because the current bill proposal is incomplete as it stands, Senator Rodgers has proposed several amendments.

7. The quarterback threw a temper tantrum and left the field, leaving his teammates during a critical period in the game.

8. Answers will vary. Example: The snow stretched all over the mountains, creating a white blanket with ripples.


Run-on Sentences:

Directions: Correct the run-on sentences by using a period, semicolon, or conjunction. Be sure to include all necessary punctuation in the revision.


Correct the run-on:

1. To make fried chicken you have to cover the meat in flour, dip it in egg, then coat it in flour again put it into hot oil cook until it is brown with no pink inside.

2. Jada is my favorite stylist she follows my instructions my hair always comes out looking fabulous.

3. While we were at the zoo my brother wanted to feed peanuts to the elephant the sign said not to feed the animals it could harm them.


4. Liza worked for seventeen hours, ran a mile, helped a friend with a project for work before she passed out she slept well into the afternoon the following day.

5. I like email because it lets me communicate with people all over the country but it is less personal and more removed because you can’t see people’s faces or hear their voices like you do in regular conversation don’t you agree.

Correct the run-on:

Possible Answers

Run-on Sentences


1. To make fried chicken, you have to cover the meat in flour, dip it in egg, and then coat it in flour again. Put it into hot oil and cook until it is brown with no pink inside.

2. Jada is my favorite stylist; she follows my instructions. My hair always comes out looking fabulous.

3. While we were at the zoo, my brother wanted to feed peanuts to the elephant, but the sign said not to feed the animals because it could harm them.


4. Liza worked for seventeen hours, ran a mile, and helped a friend with a project for work before she passed out. She slept well into the afternoon the following day.

5. (A) I like email because it lets me communicate with people all over the country, but it is less personal and more removed because you can’t see peoples’ faces or hear their voices like you do in regular conversation. Don’t you agree?

(B) I like email because it lets me communicate with people all over the country. However, because you can’t see people’s faces or hear their voices like you do in regular conversation, email is less personal and more removed. Don’t you agree?


Primer Sentences:

Directions: Combine the primer sentences to create longer sentences. Be sure to add transitions when necessary. There are several possible answers.


Combine the primer sentences:

1. I love the new restaurant that opened in town. It’s called Mama’s Kitchen. They make great chicken salad. It has grapes and celery in it.

2. Jen fell off her bike. She was riding in the neighborhood. Many kids saw it happen. A couple kids laughed. Her friend Ben helped her up. He also got her a Band-Aid.


Combine the primer sentences:3. Rafael wanted to buy a new car. His old one was starting to fall

apart. It had some rust on it. It needed a new engine also. He thought a convertible would be a good replacement. The dealership in town had one on sale. Rafael hoped he could haggle and get a better price.

4. The King was destroying the kingdom. Peasants were resorting to eating rats. Businesses were closing. Children were starving. Even members of the Royal Court were going hungry.

5. Watching violence on television is bad for children. Studies show it can make them aggressive. Aggression can make children act violently toward others.

Possible Answers

Primer Sentences


1. I love the new restaurant, Mama’s Kitchen, that opened in town. Their chicken salad, which has grapes and celery in it, is great.

2. Jen fell of her bike while she was riding in the neighborhood. A few kids saw it, and they laughed. Her friend Ben, however, helped her up and got her a Band-Aid.


3. Rafael wanted to buy a new car because his old one was starting to fall apart. It had some rust on it, and it needed a new engine. He thought a convertible would be a good replacement. Although the dealership in town had one on sale, Rafael hoped he could haggle and get a better price.

4. The King was destroying the kingdom—peasants were resorting to eating rats, businesses were closing, and children were starving. Even members of the Royal Court were going hungry.

5. Watching violence on television is bad for children because studies show it can make them aggressive, which can make them act violently toward others.


Modifiers:Directions: Decide whether the sentence contains a dangling modifier or a misplaced modifier. Then, correct the dangling modifier by making sure that there is a clear subject to the sentence. Many possible answers exist. Correct the misplaced modifier by moving the phrases closer to the words they should modify.


1. Always leaving food and dishes in the sink, the cockroaches started invading the kitchen.

2. The old man blew a bubble with pink gum that was the size of his head.

3. To win the game, another goal needs to be made.

4. The dancer that looked like a bird leapt across stage in a brightly colored outfit.

Correct the modifier:


5. Excited about the upcoming vacation, the ticket was already purchased.

6. The injured fish rested at the bottom of the tank with a hole in its side gasping for air.

7. To climb the mountain without starving, your backpack must be full of food and water.

8. The lion ran swiftly across the field that was burned in the wildfire hunting for food.

Correct the modifier:

Possible Answers


1. Since the homeowners are always leaving food and dishes in the sink, the cockroaches have started invading the kitchen.

2. (A) With pink gum, the old man blew a bubble that was the size of his head.(B) The old man blew a pink bubble that was the size of his head.

3. To win the game, the team needs to score another goal.

4. The dancer, leaping across the stage in the brightly colored outfit, looked like a bird.


5. Excited about the upcoming vacation, she had already purchased the ticket.

6. The injured fish with a hole in its side rested at the bottom of the tank, gasping for air.

7. To climb the mountain without starving, you should have a backpack full of food and water.

8. Hunting for food, the lion ran swiftly across the field that was burned in the wildfire.


Parallelism:

Directions: Make the following sentences parallel.


Make the sentences parallel:1. The mayor cleaned up the city by increasing the police force,

building more homeless shelters, and he also gave more funding to public schools.

2. Native Americans hunted buffalo for its meat and building shelters from its hides.

3. When the alarm sounds, the crowd lined up, and slowly walks outside onto the field to wait further instruction.

4. The choir needed to have more rehearsals before the contest because several singers were out of tune, messing up the words, and made weird facial expressions while singing.

5. We enjoy baseball, running track, and tossing Frisbees.

Possible Answers


1. The mayor cleaned up the city by increasing the police force, building more homeless shelters, and giving more funding to public schools.

2. Native Americans hunted buffalo for its meat and built shelters from its hides.

3. When the alarm sounded, the crowd lined up, slowly walked outside onto the field, and waited for further instruction.

4. The choir needed to have more rehearsals before the contest because several singers sang out of tune, messed up the words, and made weird facial expressions while singing.

5. We enjoy playing baseball, running track, and tossing Frisbees.

improving sentences 7-12 th grade improving sentences powerpoint, © may 2007 by prestwick house,...

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