Stories and analogiesIllustrations and analogies for motivation, inspiration, learning and trainingHere are some stories, analogies, research findings and other examples that provide wonderful illustrations for learning, and inspiration for self-development. Read about the travellers and the monk, tickle me elmo, get in the wheelbarrow, the shoe box story, the scorpion and the frog, murphy's plough, Pavlov's dogs, the monkeys and the stairs, and more. Look at the stories index for stories listed by subject.Or go straight to the stories.Analogies, stories, fables and case-studies are great ways to illustrate teaching, training and business lessons. Stories, examples, fables and research references add colour and substance to presentations and reports, and reinforce learning of all types. Some of these stories are ironic and so can best be used to illustrate pitfalls and vulnerabilities rather than best practice. If you know who wrote any of the unattributed stories below please let us know so that credit can be given.Read and enjoy and send me your own favourite stories and anecdotes.Some of these stories might be offensive to certain people in certain situations. If you are a strong advocate of political correctness or are easily offended please don't read this page, or the rest of this website, and for goodness sake don't go near the acronyms page.So, please don't use any of these stories in any situations that might cause offence to people.See also the quotes page, which contains many more motivational, educational and amusing anecdotes for writing, speaking, learning, teaching and training. Please note that The Person Who Had Feelings story, which was on this page for some while (with suggested but uncertain attribution to Barbara Dunlap) has been removed at the request of Barbara Dunlap Van Kirk, its author, who has kindly contacted me to explain that she is indeed the author, and that the work is protected and so is not to be reproduced. The version on this page was also somewhat different to Barbara's original. I hope to help Barbara's work be more widely and fully accessible in the future.stories indexMost recent first:story titlelearning, lessons, messages, examples of uses the blind man and the advertising storycommunications, empathy, connecting with people, advertising, marketing, language meaning, intervention, helping others, expertisethe shoes storypositive thinking vs negative thinking, opportunities vs problems, attitude, mindsetthe pub storyracial discrimination, lateral thinking, language meaningthe inflatables storycontext and meaning, discipline and admonishment, self-respectthe mechanic and the surgeon storyperceptions, differences, the devil is in the detailthe zodiac signs mnemonicexample of story mnemonic (memory aid)the two bulls storytactics, strategic thinking, planning, impulse, enthusiasm, wisdom, maturitythe thief and the paintings storyplanning, resources, project managementthe gardener's badge story positive thinking, attitude, seeing the good side, successful businessthe rich man and the jewels storypossessions, enjoyment, materialism, owning thingsthe atheist and the bear storyloyalty, payback and reward, taking sides, changing sidesthe fairy storystrategic alliances, ageism, sexism, tactical awareness, the sisterhood, loyalty, motives, assumptions, choices, karma, be careful what you wish forcircus storydeveloping young people, coaching, advising, talent development, career choicesstranded car dilemma storycreativity, thinking outside of the box, decision-making, ethics the school storyattendance, sickness, overcoming fears, responsibilitythe soldiers and the trench storyleadershipthe john wayne storycommunications, confusion, understanding, instructionsthe blind men and the road storydependency, risk, stretching, motivation, achievement, lifting personal limitsthe doctor and the thief storyethical decision-making, challenge and change choicesthe preacher and the farmer storyduty, regardless of demand and reward - adapt provision according to needsthe old lady and the hearing-aid storytactical advantage, underestimating peoplemobile phone storyassumptions, approvals, authority, control, security, identitythe trench-digger storyinitiative, self-development, self-discipline, making things happen, career advancement, getting experience before you get the job, getting a job requiring experience when you have none - also making assumptions and imagining or suspecting the worstthe double-positive storymake your point and then know when to stop, language, communications, lateral thinking, quick-thinkingthe bath and bucket storylateral thinking, making assumptions, dangers of judging peoplethe stamp storycustomer services, communications, product design, customer inertiathe shot at dawn story ethics and culture, leadership integrity and styles, decision-making, policy-makingdirect mail campaign clanger story human nature, integrity, delegation and training, and advertising is a funny business...the god and eve story gender and sexual discrimination, equality, battle of the sexes debates, after-dinner speechesthe wrong guy interview story interviews, preparation, thinking on your feet, communications, media nonsense, persuasion (this is the famous BBC Guy Goma interview story and video clip)the very old lady story positive attitude, self-image, ageism, age and beauty, perspective, wisdomthe train travellers story relationships, assumptions, marriage, weddings speeches, best man speeches, sex, sexismthe william pitt storyworking creatively to reach agreement, managing situations and environments, facilitation of agreements, negotiationthe biscuit factory story making assumptions, other people's perspectives, individual needs and motivationsthe eggs story time management, creative thinking and problem-solving, marriage, weddings speeches, best man speeches, sex, sexismthe translator story communications, assumptions, creativity, deceit, language, relationships, karma, cheats don't prosperthe buddha and the abuse story conflict, responding to other people's negative behaviour, angry customers, disruptive kids, bad-tempered bossesthe gandhi shoe storyselflessness, compassion, generosity, logic, objectivitythe greta garbo negotiation story negotiation tactics, negotiating position, independence and the power of choicethe jesse james storytactics, strategy, planning, morality, good and bad in us all, yin and yangthe gorilla story negotiating, understanding communications, agreeing clear objectives and responsibilitiesthe priest and the politician story time management, being late, public speakinglipstick kisses on the mirror story creative thinking, creative problem-solving, creative management techniques, avoiding confrontationmeasuring by averages story analysis, measurement, statisticsthe blind golfers story an ironic example of lack of empathy, and different people's perspectivesthe sales and marketing rugby analogy story for teams, motivation, team-building, departmental cooperation, training, public speakingthe lock and key story kindness and generosity, 'good pebble ripples', memorable customer service experiencesthe stranger and the gingernuts story making assumptions, think before you act, different perspectivesthe england football storyfoundational failure, strategic analysis, alignment and philosophy, viabilitythe new employees stories importance of induction training for new starters, initiative and lateral thinking, interpretation, delegation, rules, checking and monitoringthe bedtime story communications, communications methods, relationships, marriage, weddings speeches, best man speeches, sex, sexismthe sergeant major's rude parrot story management styles examples, autoctratic management, submissive behaviour, threats, meeting difficult behaviour head-onthe farmer and the boy story helping others, inspiration, gratitude and appreciation, good comes from doing good, the power of legenthe brewery story to challenge belief systems and assumptions, and the need for questioning pointless routine or policythe rowing competition story identifying and managing performance improvement, establishing cause and accountability, theory x vs theory y, daft executive judgementsthe performance evaluation story theory x shortcomings, mis-managementthe no exit story different perspectives, viewpoints, how different perspectives cause one thing to appear as two different thingsthe old couple story positive/negative outlook, blame, attitudetwo brothers and the geese story initiative, responsibility, thinking outside the box, anticipating, strategic anticipation, adding value to service, value and rewardthe piano story mentoring, coaching, understanding the other person's development needsthe angry customer story funny customer service example, keeping calm, keeping control, managing conflict, angry customersthe clap and cheer story positive attitude, taking pride in whatever you dothe bank storya lesson in customer service, how bad policy encourages poor servicethe fish baking story to challenge belief systems and assumptions, and illustrate pointless routine and the need for questioningthe donkey story positive attitudes, turning problems into opportunitiesthe shepherd story IT consultants, business consultancy, knowing your factsthe speed camera story creative thinking, teamwork, understanding and using modern technology - do not try this at home..the three engineers story different approaches to problem-solving, modern ITthe sweet old couple story dangers of making assumptions, understand before you intervenethe men and women differences story the other person's perspective, gender empathy, for weddings, best-man speeches, johari window, empathy, NLP, etcthe aunt karen story using lessons, morals, analogies, examples, interpretation, relatives, families, drinkingthe tickle me elmo story induction training, communications, giving instructions, delegation, confusionthe get in the wheelbarrow story belief, trust, faith, commitment, walking the walk the charles plumb parachutes story supporting others, supporting roles, leadership, acknowledging others, saying thank youthe chickens story communications, confusing instructions, testing, research and developmentthe chihuahua and the leopard story creative thinking, quick thinking, escaping, averting disaster, bluff and boldnessthe cannibals story management, managers, secretaries, initiative, habits, conforming, rules and rule-breakingthe dog and the bone storybe content with what you have, greed and envy seldom pay (more Aesop's fables) the "always done it that way.." story time management, challenging habits, assumptions, procedures, belief systemsthe dam storyhow to write a good letter, making assumptions, jumping to conclusions, and how to defend wrong accusations with humourthe blind men and the elephantperception, truth, perspective, empathy, communications and understandingthe owl and the field-mouse story executive policy-making, theory versus practicethe rat and the lion storydo good, what goes around comes around, karmathe two mules story show off expensive things at your peril, the more you have the more you have to losethe travellers and the monk storypositive attitude, life outlook, positive philosophy, finding what we seek, self-fulfilling propheciesthe human resources story new starters induction, ironic reference to human resources management, keeping promises, employment standards, changing jobsthe shoe box story delusion, men and women, marriage, relationships, secrets, weddings and best-man speechesthe businessman and the fisherman story ambition, work and fulfilment, purpose of life, wealth creation, change for change's sake the microsoft story computers, WYSInotWYG, ironic reference to computer software problemsthe "it will for that one" storymaking a difference, compassion, personal and social responsibilitythe negotiation story negotiating, men and women, funny responsesthe mcclelland motivation story david mcclelland's achievement motivation experiment, motivation references and examplesthe butterfly story coaching, teaching, enabling, facilitating, interventionsthe swimming pool story reviews and asessments, assessing people, things are not always what they seemthe butcher story business ethics, chickens come home to roost, sins discovered, getting caught out, lying to customersthe pavlov's dogs story behaviour, conditioning, fears and neuroses, embedded attitudes and responsesthe beans up the nose story accentuate the positive, visualization, auto-suggestion, negative suggestions and attitudesthe hawthorne effect story elton mayo's motivation experiments, motivationthe naval stand-off story negotiation, do your research, know your factsthe room service story understanding, communicating, interpretation, empathy, meaning, language and translationthe project story project management, six phases of a project, leadership and management the mswindows car story the power of PR, clever publicity, using humour for publicity, don't get mad get eventhe balloon story business, IT, humour, funny business storythe monkey story company policy, organizational development, group behaviour, group beliefs, inertia and assumptionsthe creativity story ten ways to murder creativity, leadership, growth and development, innovation and motivationthe scorpion and the frog story responsibility, blame, reality, acceptance, delusion, expectations, personal responsibility, empathythe rocks in bucket story time management, personal change, managing your activities and environment, project management, life-balancethe rocks in the bucket story II alternative funny version, students' perspectivethe murphy's plough story positive thinking, negative thinking, retaliating before being attacked, thinking the worst of people, tit-for-tat, eye-for-an-eyeStories for teaching, training, lessons and amusementStories add interest and enjoyment to learning, teaching and training - for teachers, trainers and students.Stories also increase impact and make ideas and concepts far more memorable.Stories can be used to illustrate all sorts of themes and lessons, and most stories are extremely flexible. The themes suggested for the stories in this collection are the obvious examples. Use your imagination - in most stories you can find many other themes to suit your own purposes.the blind man and the advertising storyAn old blind man was sitting on a busy street corner in the rush-hour begging for money. On a cardboard sign, next to an empty tin cup, he had written: 'Blind - Please help'.No-one was giving him any money.A young advertising writer walked past and saw the blind man with his sign and empty cup, and also saw the many people passing by completely unmoved, let alone stopping to give money. The advertising writer took a thick marker-pen from her pocket, turned the cardboard sheet back-to-front, and re-wrote the sign, then went on her way.Immediately, people began putting money into the tin cup.After a while, when the cup was overflowing, the blind man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign now said."It says," said the stranger, " 'It's a beautiful day. You can see it. I cannot.' "

(My Dad told me this story when I was a teenager in the 1970s. I saw it recently on a video on the web. This story illustrates in a timeless way how important choice of words and language is when we want to truly connect with and move other people. Thanks BC and SD)

the shoes story (positive thinking, negative thinking, attitude, perspective, mindset)You will perhaps have heard this very old story illustrating the difference between positive thinking and negative thinking:Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report back on market potential.The first salesman reported back, "There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes."The second salesman reported back, "There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes."

This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in two quite different ways - negatively or positively.We could explain this also in terms of seeing a situation's problems and disadvantages, instead of its opportunities and benefits.When telling this story its impact is increased by using exactly the same form of words (e.g., "nobody wears shoes") in each salesman's report. This emphasises that two quite different interpretations are made of a single situation.See also the glass half-full/empty quotes.

the pub story (racial issues, discrimination, exclusion, inclusion, lateral thinking, different meanings in language and communications) A Sikh, a Muslim, an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman, a Jew, a Buddhist and a Hindu go into a pub.The barman looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

(This short aside can be used to illustrate or draw attention to issues related to racial stereotyping/discrimination. Separately it offers an example of lateral thinking, and also an example of double meaning in language. The ethnicities may be changed for your own situation or part of the world.)

the inflatables story (context is everything, discipline and admonishment)In the land of inflatables (bear with me..), at the inflatable school, what did the inflatable teacher say to the naughty inflatable boy caught misbehaving with a pin?"You let me down, you let yourself down, and worst of all you let the whole school down."

the mechanic and the surgeon story (perceptions, the devil is in the detail, the nature of big differences)A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic."So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me..""Yes?.." says the surgeon."Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves, and put it all back together so it works good as new.. We basically do the same job don't we? And yet you are paid ten times what I am - how do you explain that?"The surgeon thought for a moment, and smiling gently, replied,"Try it with the engine running.."

zodiac star signs story (for remembering the signs of the zodiac, and memory aid example for teaching mnemonics methods)This story is a mnemonic (pronounced 'nemonic' - meaning memory aid) for remembering the twelve Signs of the Zodiac, in order, starting in January.While this example is useful for pub quizzes, more importantly the method of creating a story mnemonic can be used to retain all sorts of difficult-to-remember pieces of information, for yourself, and taught to others. Mnemonics stories need not make sense - they simply need to be memorable.In January, a goat (Capricorn), drinking from a stream (Aquarius) said, "Look, a fish (Pisces)." A ram (Aries), and a bull (Taurus), carrying the twins (Gemini) said "There's also a crab (Cancer)." A lion (Leo) roared in agreement, which startled the young maiden (Virgo) so that she dropped and smashed her scales (Libra)."That's no crab - it's a scorpion (Scorpio)," said the archer (Sagittarius).

Note that the Signs of the Zodiac are normally deemed to start and end anything between the 18th and the 24th day of each month, depending on interpretation. It is not by any means a precise science.

the two bulls story (tactics, wisdom, planning, youthfulness vs maturity, impulse vs patience)Two bulls, one young and full of enthusiasm, and the other older and wiser, see a herd of cows.The young bull says, "Let's charge down this hillside and have our wicked way with a couple of those cows."The old bull replies, "No, how about we stroll gently down this hillside and have our wicked way with them all."

You will perhaps have heard this story told with more fruity language. Feel free to adapt it for your own situation.(Thanks A Dobson for suggesting it. See also Softly softly, catchee monkey.)

the thief and the paintings story (planning, preparation, resources, project management)A thief was caught after stealing some paintings from the Louvre in Paris, when his getaway van ran out of fuel. Given bail at his first hearing, a reporter asked him on the steps of the courthouse how he forgot such a vital part of his plan."Simple," said the thief, "I had no Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(Ack CB)

the gardener's badge story (positive thinking, attitude, seeing the good side)A landscape gardener ran a business that had been in the family for two or three generations. The staff were happy, and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the staff work on their gardens or make deliveries - anything from bedding plants to ride-on mowers.For as long as anyone could remember, the current owner and previous generations of owners were extremely positive happy people.Most folk assumed it was because they ran a successful business.In fact it was the other way around...A tradition in the business was that the owner always wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great! The business was indeed generally great, although it went through tough times like any other. What never changed however was the owner's attitude, and the badge saying Business Is Great!Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably asked, "What's so great about business?" Sometimes people would also comment that their own business was miserable, or even that they personally were miserable or stressed. Anyhow, the Business Is Great! badge always tended to start a conversation, which typically involved the owner talking about lots of positive aspects of business and work, for example: the pleasure of meeting and talking with different people every day the reward that comes from helping staff take on new challenges and experiences the fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work environment the fascination in the work itself, and in the other people's work and businesses the great feeling when you finish a job and do it to the best of your capabilitiesthe new things you learn every day - even without looking to do so and the thought that everyone in business is blessed - because there are many millions of people who would swap their own situation to have the same opportunities of doing a productive meaningful job, in a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real worries.

And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a person was, they'd usually end up feeling a lot happier after just a couple of minutes listening to all this infectious enthusiasm and positivity. It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this, but to one extent or another it's probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, on which point, if asked about the badge in a quiet moment, the business owner would confide: "The badge came first. The great business followed."

the jewels story (enjoyment, fulfillment, possession, wealth, materialism, greed) Once there was a very rich and greedy man. He loved and hoarded jewels. One day a visitor asked to see them. So the jewels were brought out, amid much expensive security, and the two men gazed at the wonderful stones. As the visitor was leaving he said, "Thank you for sharing your jewels with me." "I didn't give them to you," exclaimed the rich man, "They belong to me." "Yes of course," replied the visitor, "And while we enjoyed the jewels just the same, the real difference between us is your trouble and expense of buying and protecting them."

(Thanks Jackie Carpenter, adapted from an original item in New Internationalist 137.)

the atheist and the bear story (loyalty, conviction, payback and reward, changing sides)A committed atheist (that's someone who steadfastly does not believe in a god of any sort) was on a trekking holiday when he became lost in some dense woods.A large angry bear, with ten starving cubs back home and claws like kitchen knives, suddenly emerged from the undergrowth. The atheist screamed in terror, turned and ran. The bear was quicker however, and after a long and desperate chase eventually cornered the atheist in a gully. The exhausted atheist sank to his knees, shaking. The bear, seeing that its prey was trapped, moved slowly towards the petrified man, drooling. The bear was drooling too.The atheist lifted his head, with tears in his eyes, and uttered the words he thought he would never say in all his life: "God help me..." With these simple three words, a blinding flash of lightning lit up the sky. There was a deafening crash of thunder. The clouds parted. A brilliant light shone down. The forest fell silent. The bear froze still, in a trance. The atheist stood gaping, transfixed.A voice came loud from above. Louder than twenty AC/DC concerts all happening at the same time. We can safely assume this voice to have been the voice of a god of some sort. "You atheists make me seriously mad," boomed the god, "You deny me all your life. You tell others to deny me too. You put your faith in all that bloody Darwinian airy-fairy scientific nonsense, and then what a surprise - you get lost because you can't read your stupid map, and now you're about to get eaten by an angry bear all of a sudden you're on your knees snivelling and begging for my help?......... You must be joking..." The atheist looked down, realising that he was not arguing from a position of strength."Okay, I take your point," said the atheist, thinking on his feet, while he still had them, "I can see it's a bit late for me to convert, but what about the bear?... Maybe you could convert the bear instead?" "Hmmn... interesting idea..." said the god, thinking hard, "...Okay. It shall be done." At which the brilliant light dimmed and vanished; the clouds closed; and the noises of the forest resumed. The bear awoke and shook its head, a completely different expression on its face. Calm, at peace.The bear closed its eyes, bowed its head, and said, "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful, Amen.."THE END_________________________________

N.B. The grace prayer in the punchline is the version commonly taught in UK schools. Alternatives might work better depending on the audience, for example:"Come Lord Jesus, be our guest, let this food of ours be blessed. Amen.." (suggesting an Australian bear of unspecific denomination)"Lass't uns beten! O Herr, segne uns und diese deine gaben, die wir von deiner Gte nun empfangen werden. Durch Christus, unseren Herr'n! Amen.." (suggesting a German Catholic bear)You will perhaps devise your own endings. Perhaps your own animals. Perhaps your own god. It has been suggested that this story could offend certain sensitivities. I apologise therefore to bears everywhere.(Adapted from a story sent by S Hart, thank you.)

A much shorter and simpler version of this story (thanks D Baudois) is as follows:the missionary man and the lion storyA missionary came upon a hungry lion in the middle of the African plain. The missionary knelt and prayed, "God, please give this lion a christian soul!" The lion stopped, knelt, and prayed also: "Lord above, may this meal be blessed.."

the fairy story (strategic alliances, tactical awareness, ageism, sexism, being careful about what you wish for and how you go about getting it)A couple were dining out together celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.After the meal, the husband presented his wife romantically with a beautiful very old gold antique locket on a chain.Amazingly when his wife opened the locket, a tiny fairy appeared.Addressing the astonished couple, the fairy said, "Your forty years of devotion to each other has released me from this locket, and in return I can now grant you both one wish each - anything you want.."Without hesitating, the wife asked, "Please, can I travel to the four corners of the world with my husband, as happy and in love as we've always been?"The fairy waved her wand with a flourish, and magically there on the table were two first-class tickets for a round-the-world holiday. Staggered, the couple looked at each other, unable to believe their luck. "Your turn," said the fairy and the wife to the husband.The husband thought for a few seconds, and then said, with a little guilt in his voice, "Forgive me, but to really enjoy that holiday of a lifetime - I yearn for a younger woman - so I wish that my wife could be thirty years younger than me."Shocked, the fairy glanced at the wife, and with a knowing look in her eye, waved her wand.....and the husband became ninety-three.

(Adapted from a suggestion from J Riley, thanks.)

circus story (developing young people, talent, career choice, parenting)This short story - it's a joke really - can be used to illustrate attitudes to developing young people, career direction, and especially the advice and aspirations of parents and coaches, which might be different to the dreams of the individual...In a circus, the Bearded Lady and the World's Strongest Man fell in love, and decided to start a family.Soon the Bearded Lady fell pregnant.A few weeks before she was due to give birth, the Bearded Lady and the circus ring-master were talking."How's it going?" the ring-master asked, "Are you well?" "Yes thanks - very excited," said the bearded lady, "We have so many plans for the baby - we want to be supportive parents.""That's nice," said the ring-master, "Do you want a boy or a girl?""Oh, we really don't mind as long as it's healthy," said the Bearded Lady, "And it fits into the cannon.."

(Thanks DC)

stranded car dilemma story (creative thinking, ethics, decision-making)This story is adapted from a scenario which featured in a widely circulated email, in which (supposedly) job applicants were given loosely the following question to answer, to indicate their personality and decision-making motives (supposedly). The job application context is extremely doubtful, but the lesson in creative thinking is interesting, especially if people are not given too long to dwell on it:You are driving alone in two-seater car on a deserted road in blizzard conditions, when you see another car which has recently run off the road and into a tree. There are three people in the stranded car, none of whom is injured: an old friend, who once saved your lifeyour childhood sweetheart greatest lost lovean elderly lady

No-one has a phone. The likelihood of any more passing traffic is effectively zero. The conditions are too dangerous for people to walk anywhere. It is not possible to tow the crashed car. The nearest town is an hour's drive away. The question is: Given that your car is just a two-seater, in what order should the stranded people be taken to the nearest town?Answer

the school story (attendance, sickness, responsibility, parenting, and various other uses)My apologies if this story is well-known to you. It's an old joke, yet a useful illustration for various themes.A mother repeatedly called upstairs for her son to get up, get dressed and get ready for school. It was a familiar routine, especially at exam time."I feel sick," said the voice from the bedroom."You are not sick. Get up and get ready," called the mother, walking up the stairs and hovering outside the bedroom door."I hate school and I'm not going," said the voice from the bedroom, "I'm always getting things wrong, making mistakes and getting told off. Nobody likes me, and I've got no friends. And we have too many tests and they are too confusing. It's all just pointless, and I'm not going to school ever again.""I'm sorry, but you are going to school," said the mother through the door, continuing encouragingly, "Really, mistakes are how we learn and develop. And please try not to take criticism so personally. And I can't believe that nobody likes you - you have lots of friends at school. And yes, all those tests can be confusing, but we are all tested in many ways throughout our lives, so all of this experience at school is useful for life in general. Besides, you have to go, you are the headteacher." (Based on a suggestion from P Hallinger, thanks.)

the soldiers and the trench story (leadership)The story goes that sometime, close to a battlefield over 200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode past a small group of exhausted battle-weary soldiers digging an obviously important defensive position. The section leader, making no effort to help, was shouting orders, threatening punishment if the work was not completed within the hour."Why are you are not helping?" asked the stranger on horseback."I am in charge. The men do as I tell them," said the section leader, adding, "Help them yourself if you feel strongly about it."To the section leader's surprise the stranger dismounted and helped the men until the job was finished.Before leaving the stranger congratulated the men for their work, and approached the puzzled section leader."You should notify top command next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men - and I will provide a more permanent solution," said the stranger.Up close, the section leader now recognized General Washington, and also the lesson he'd just been taught.(This story is allegedly based on truth. Whatever, similar examples are found in history, and arise in modern times too, so please forgive the mythical possibility of the above attribution; the story's message is more important than its historical accuracy.)

the john wayne story (instructions, communications, understanding, confused messages)It is said that when filming the biblical epic The Greatest Story Ever Told, the director George Stevens was trying to encourage extra passion from John Wayne when delivering the highly significant line, "Truly, this was the Son of God.""You are talking about Jesus - think about it," said Stevens, "You've got to say it with awe."For the next take John Wayne duly summoned his most intense feelings. He paused dramatically, and said:"Aw, truly this was the Son of God."

the blind men and the road story (stretching, dependency, risk, achievement under pressure)A blind man had been waiting a while at a busy road for someone to offer to guide him across, when he felt a tap on his shoulder."Excuse me," said the tapper, "I'm blind - would you mind guiding me across the road?"The first blind man took the arm of the second blind man, and they both crossed the road.Apparently this is a true story. The first blind man was the jazz pianist George Shearing. He is quoted (in Bartlett's Anecdotes) as saying after the event, "What could I do? I took him across and it was the biggest thrill of my life." There are times when we think we cannot do something and so do not stretch or take a risk. Being forced to stretch and take a risk can often help us to reduce our dependencies (on others, or our own personal safety mechanisms), and to discover new excitement and capabilities. The poem Come to the Edge is another wonderful perspective on risk and stretching.

the doctor and the thief story (ethical decision making - also adaptability, flexibility, accepting what cannot be changed)A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've become a compulsive thief."The doctor prescribes him a course of tablets and says, "If you're not cured in a couple of weeks would you get me a widescreen television?"This is not a lesson of ideal behaviour, it's a humorous illustration of options - whether to try to change something, to accept it or to actively support it. Such decisions normally have two main reference points - the difficulty of the change, and the ethical implications of the situation.The Serenity Prayer is a different and less cynical view of change and choices.

the preacher and the farmer story (understanding the needs of your people, caring for minorities and individuals, looking deeper than the mainstream)An old hill farming crofter trudges several miles through freezing snow to his local and very remote chapel for Sunday service. No-one else is there, aside from the clergyman. "I'm not sure it's worth proceeding with the service - might we do better to go back to our warm homes and a hot drink?.." asks the clergyman, inviting a mutually helpful reaction from his audience of one."Well, I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't leave it hungry."So the clergyman, feeling somewhat ashamed, delivers his service - all the bells and whistles, hymns and readings, lasting a good couple of hours - finishing proudly with the fresh observation that no matter how small the need, our duty remains. And he thanks the old farmer for the lesson he has learned."Was that okay?" asks the clergyman, as the two set off home."Well I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't force it to eat what I brought for the whole herd..."From which we see the extra lesson, that while our duty remains regardless of the level of need, we have the additional responsibility to ensure that we adapt our delivery (of whatever is our stock in trade) according to the requirements of our audience.(Adapted from a suggestion from P Hallinger, and based apparently on a story told by Roland Barth, whom I assume to be the US educationalist.)

the old lady and the hearing-aid story (assumptions about weaknesses, underestimating people, tactical advantage)An old lady had a hearing-aid fitted, hidden underneath her hair.A week later she returned to the doctor for her check-up."It's wonderful - I can hear everything now," she reported very happily to the doctor."And is your family pleased too?" asked the doctor."Oh I haven't told them yet," said the old lady, "And I've changed my will twice already.."

(Thanks BC. Based on a letter published in the newspaper several years ago, written by the doctor. I suspect variations of this story have been told many times elsewhere too.)

the mobile phone story (assumptions, authority, control, the risks of modern communications and technology, privacy, security, identity theft, etc) Several men were in a golf club locker room.A mobile phone rings."Yes I can talk," says the man answering the call, "You're shopping are you? That's nice."The listening men smile to each other."You want to order those new carpets? Okay.. And they'll include the curtains for an extra five thousand?.. Sure, why not?"More smiles among the listeners."You want to book that week on Necker Island?.. They're holding the price at twenty-two thousand?.. Sounds a bargain.. You want a fortnight?.. If that's what you want honey, okay by me."Smiles turn to expressions of mild envy."And you want to give the builder the go-ahead for the new conservatory? Seventy-five thousand if we say yes today? Sounds fair.. sure, that's fine."The listeners exchange glances of amazement."Okay sugar, see you later.. Yes, love you too," says the man, ending the call.He looks at the other men and says, "Whose phone is this anyhow?.."

the trench-digger story (initiative, self-development, making things happen, career advancement, how to get a job requiring experience when you have none)This is adapted from (apparently) a true story.An elderly couple retired to the countryside - to a small isolated cottage overlooking some rugged and rocky heathland.One early morning the woman saw from her window a young man dressed in working clothes walking on the heath, about a hundred yards away. He was carrying a spade and a small case, and he disappeared from view behind a copse of trees.The woman thought no more about it but around the same time the next day she saw the man again, carrying his spade and a small case, and again he disappeared behind the copse.The woman mentioned this to her husband, who said he was probably a farmer or gamekeeper setting traps, or performing some other country practice that would be perfectly normal, and so not to worry.However after several more sightings of the young man with the spade over the next two weeks the woman persuaded her husband to take a stroll - early, before the man tended to arrive - to the copse of trees to investigate what he was doing. There they found a surprisingly long and deep trench, rough and uneven at one end, becoming much neater and tidier towards the other end. "How strange," the old lady said, "Why dig a trench here - and in such difficult rocky ground?" and her husband agreed.Just then the young man appeared - earlier than his usual time."You're early," said the old woman, making light of their obvious curiosity, "We wondered what you were doing - and we also wondered what was in the case.""I'm digging a trench," said the man, who continued, realising a bigger explanation was appropriate, "I'm actually learning how to dig a good trench, because the job I'm being interviewed for later today says that experience is essential - so I'm getting the experience. And the case - it's got my lunch in it."He got the job. (Adapted from a suggestion - thanks R Columbo)

double-positive story (make your point and then know when to stop, language, communications, lateral thinking, quick-thinking)On hearing one of his students use the expression, "I don't know nothing about it..." a teacher took the opportunity to explain about double negatives and correct grammar to the class. The teacher explained, "In the English language a double negative makes the statement positive, so your assertion that you 'don't know nothing about it' is actually an admission that you do know something about it."Encouraged by the interest in this revelation among certain class members, the teacher went on to demonstrate more of his knowledge of world languages: "Of course not all languages operate according to the same grammatical rules, for example, in Russian, a double negative remains negative, although perhaps surprisingly, there is not a single language anywhere in the world in which a double positive makes a negative.."At which a voice from the back of the classroom called out ironically "Yeah, right.."(This is adapted from a story sent to me by M Morris. Apparently the original story was based on a true incident at a Modern Language Association meeting in New York in the mid-1970's, reported in the NY Times. The quick-witted response in the original story, actually "Yeah, yeah..", seemingly came from from Sidney Morganbesser, a professor of philosophy who was noted for his speedy retorts. Thanks M Morris, Apr 2007.)

the bath and the bucket story (lateral thinking, making assumptions, dangers of judging people)Given the title (on the subject of buckets..) and its quick simple message, this story is a good partner analogy to the rocks in a bucket time management story. The story illustrates lateral thinking, narrow-mindedness, the risks of making assumptions, and judging people and situations:A party of suppliers was being given a tour of a mental hospital.One of the visitors had made some very insulting remarks about the patients.After the tour the visitors were introduced to various members of staff in the canteen.The rude visitor chatted to one of the security staff, Bill, a kindly and wise ex-policeman."Are they all raving loonies in here then?" said the rude man."Only the ones who fail the test," said Bill."What's the test?" said the man."Well, we show them a bath full of water, a bucket, a jug and an egg-cup, and we ask them what's the quickest way to empty the bath," said Bill."Oh I see, simple - the normal ones know it's the bucket, right?" "No actually," said Bill, "The normal ones say pull out the plug. Should I check when there's a bed free for you?"

the stamp story (customer services, communications, product design, customer inertia)The staff at an old people's home were puzzled when one of the residents began gargling with TCP. They asked her why but all she would say was that something had happened at the post-office. This is what actually occurred.The old lady, who rarely ventured out, had visited the post office to post a letter.She bought a stamp, and since there was a long queue behind her she stepped aside. She put her change in her purse, licked the stamp and put it on her letter. Despite pressing and thumping and licking it again, the stamp failed to stick."Excuse me, this stamp won't stick," said the old lady."You need to peel the paper off the back," explained the clerk.The old lady put on her spectacles, fiddled for a few seconds to peel off the backing paper - and then licked the stamp again."It still won't stick," interrupted the old lady again."It's a self-stick stamp," said the assistant."Well this one isn't sticking at all - there's something wrong with it," demanded the old lady."Well it won't stick now because you've licked it.""Well I'm totally confused now," said the old lady."Just give it here and I'll post it for you," said the cashier, and doing her best to explain continued, "These new stamps don't need licking. They are self-sticking. They save time. They are already sticky."The old lady continued to look blankly at the assistant."Look," said the well-meaning but desperate post-office clerk, "Just imagine they've already been licked..." Which sent the old lady scurrying out of the door and across the road to the chemist.(Thanks Stephen Rafe for the original tale from which the above was adapted. Stephen also provided another example of confused customer service communications, in which the customer was convinced for a while that the customer service person was somehow carrying on his work from inside prison, because the bad line was due to him speaking from his cell-phone..)

the shot at dawn campaign story (ethics and culture, leadership integrity and styles, decision-making, policy-making,)By December 1916 more than 17,000 British troops were officially diagnosed as suffering from nervous or mental disability (we'd say shell-shock or post-traumatic stress disorder these days), despite which the British military authorities continued to charge and convict sufferers with 'cowardice' and 'desertion', and to sentence to death by firing squad many of those found 'guilty'.On 16 August 2006 the British government announced that it would pardon 308 British soldiers who were shot by firing squad for 'cowardice' and 'desertion' during the First World War of 1914-18. The decision was ratified by Parliament on 7 November 2006, and represented a remarkable u-turn by this and previous governments who had always firmly refuted any evidence and justification for pardoning the victims.This reversal followed and was largely due to decades of persistent lobbying and campaigning by organisations and individuals, many being families and descendents of the victims. It is not easy to imagine their suffering, especially of the widows and parents long since gone, for whom this decision came a lifetime too late.The story emphasises two things: first, that people in authority have a responsibility to behave with integrity. Second, that where people in authority fail to act with integrity, the persistence and determination of ordinary people will eventually force them to do so.Here is more background about the Shot At Dawn campaign, and the history of this particularly shameful example of British institutional behaviour.It provides lessons to us all about doing the right thing, and calling to account those who do not.See the related discussion ideas for developing awareness and understanding of the issues and how they relate to us all.N.B. Some people will not agree with this interpretation. This makes it such an interesting subject for debate, especially in transferring the issues and principles to modern challenges in organisations, and the world beyond.

direct mail campaign clanger story (human nature, integrity, delegation and training, and advertising is a funny business...)This is a true story. Some years ago a client engaged a consultant to help with a small postal mailing to the purchasing departments of blue chip corporations. The consultant sourced the list (which was provided on MSExcel) and drafted the letter. Thereafter the client was keen to take control of the project, ie., to run the mail-merge and the fulfilment (basically printing, envelope-stuffing and mailing). The consultant discovered some weeks later that a junior member of the client's marketing department had sorted the list (changed the order of the listed organisations in the spreadsheet), but had sorted the company name column only, instead of all columns, with the result that every letter (about 500) was addressed and sent to a blue chip corporation at another entirely different corporation's address. Interestingly the mailing produced a particularly high response, which when investigated seemed to stem from the fact that an unusually high percentage of letters were opened and read, due apparently to the irresistible temptation of reading another corporation's mail...

the god and eve story (gender and sexual discrimination, equality, battle of the sexes debates, after-dinner speaking, etc)"God, I've been thinking.." says Eve one day."What's on your mind Eve?" says God."Well, I know that you created me and this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful creatures, but lately I've been feeling that maybe there's more to life.""Go on..." says God."Sometimes I get a bit bored - I fancy a bit of fun. And I get a bit fed up with all the heaving lifting and carrying, and warding off the mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers, not to mention that bloody snake. This garden can be dangerous place.""I see," says God, pausing for thought. "Eve, I have a cunning plan," says God, "I shall create Man for you." "Man?" asks Eve, "What is Man?" "Man..." says God, "Is a flawed creature. He will have many weaknesses and disgusting habits. Man will lie, cheat and behave like an idiot - in fact mostly he'll be a complete pain in the backside. But on the plus side he'll be big and strong, and will be able to protect you, and hunt and kill things, which might be handy sometimes. He will tend to lose control of mind and body when aroused, but with a bit training can reach an acceptable standard in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean." "Hmm," says Eve, "Seems like this Man idea might be worth a try, but tell me God, is there anything else I need to know?" "Just this," says God, "Man comes with one condition... In keeping with his arrogant, deluded, self-important character, Man will naturally believe that he was made first, and frankly we all have better things to do than argue, so you must keep all this a secret between us, if that's okay with you. You know, woman to woman.."(unknown origin - if you can shed any light on the origin please contact me - thanks CB)

the wrong guy interview story (interviews, preparation, thinking on your feet, communications)This is a true story. It concerned Guy Goma, a lovely cuddly business graduate from the Congo, who on 8th May 2006 attended the BBC building in West London for an interview for an IT job. At the same time, the BBC News 24 TV channel was expecting a Guy Kewney (now sadly deceased), editor of the website Newswireless.net, for a live 10.30am studio interview about the Apple court case judgement. (Apple Corps, owned by surviving Beatles McCartney and Starr, lost their case against Apple Computers, in which they sought to prevent the Apple name being used in relation to iTunes music downloads.)Due to failed communications, entirely the BBC's fault (both Guys were blameless in this), the BBC News 24 staff grabbed the wrong Guy (waiting in a different reception to Guy Kewney), who, being an unassuming, foreign and extremely polite fellow, dutifully took his place in the studio, and after declining make-up (really), was introduced on live TV to viewers as Guy Kewney, editor of the technology website 'Newswireless', and then asked three questions by the BBC News 24 business presenter Karen Bowerman about the Apple judgements and its implications for internet music downloading.Meanwhile the real Guy Kewney sat and watched 'himself' on the monitor in the BBC reception. See the 'wrong Guy' interview. (At some stage in the future the link to the BBC interview clip might cease working - I don't know how long they keep these things. Let me know when and if you can no longer see the video clip and I'll try to source it elsewhere. As at Jun 2010 - thanks Joe - it seems that the clip is not so easy to play as it once was, although the video is still available via the BBC's 'Launch in stand alone player' link for the 'wrong Guy' item. What's so utterly fascinating about this story and the supporting video, is:Guy Goma initially expresses surprise about the interview situation, but, largely due to his broken English and heavy French accent the interviewer interprets and leads Mr Goma's response to mean that he is surprised about the court judgement. If you listen carefully Guy Goma does actually mention his 'interview' in his first answer. See the transcript below. However the pressure of the situation is too great and he has little option other than to play out the role that the fates have created for him. He actually does quite well, given that he knows little about the subject. Subsequent media reports that Guy Goma was a taxi driver are false - he's a business graduate. He later attended his IT job interview but regrettably was unsuccessful. You can read what Guy Kewney thought of it all on his own blog at www.newswireless.net (there are several entries - read them all to see the full picture). As mentioned, sadly Guy Kewney has since died, on 8 Apr 2010. His blog as at Sep 2010 still stands. Please let me know if it ceases to be available. On hearing of Guy Kewney's passing (thanks D Guy - another different Guy..) I considered whether to remove or retain this item and obviously I decided to retain it. I never met Guy Kewney. From what I understand he seems to have been a lovely man. The opportunity to say this is part of my decision. the wrong guy interview transcriptKaren Bowerman: ...Well, Guy Kewney is editor of the technology website Newswireless. [Camera switches to Guy Goma's face, portraying a mixture of shock, disbelief and impending disaster.]KB: Hello, good morning to you. Guy Goma: Good morning. KB: Were you surprised by this verdict today? GG: I am very surprised to see... this verdict, to come on me because I was not expecting that. When I came they told me something else and I am coming. Got an interview... [another word, impossible to discern] .... a big surprise anyway. KB: A big surprise, yes, yes. [seeming a little anxious]GG: Exactly. [growing in confidence]KB: With regard to the costs involved do you think now more people will be downloading online? GG: Actually, if you go everywhere you are gonna see a lot of people downloading to internet and the website everything they want. But I think, is much better for development and to empower people what they want and to get on the easy way and so faster if they are looking for. KB: This does really seem the way the music industry's progressing now, that people want to go onto the website and download music.GG: Exactly. You can go everywhere on the cyber cafe and you can take [maybe 'check'?], you can go easy. It's going to be very easy way for everyone to get something to the internet. KB: Thank you [actually sounds more like 'Thank Kewney' - as if Ms Bowerman was a little distracted, no wonder]. Thanks very much indeed.Lessons from this: Good clear communications are essential when managing any sort of interview.Pressure situations can easily lead people (especially interviewees) to give false impressions, which are no help to anyone. The behaviours demonstrated in this incident illustrate the power of suggestion, and NLP, albeit used mostly inadvertently in this case; the point is that all communications involve a hell of a lot more than just words..The power of the media to interpret just about anything for their own journalistic purposes is bloody frightening.

the very old lady story (positive attitude, self-image, ageism)A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a centre parting today." She duly parted her two hairs, and as ever, she had a great day.A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I know, a pony-tail will be perfect." And again she had a great day.The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald. "Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have to waste time doing my hair any more.."(Ack CB)

the train travellers story (relationships, assumptions, etc)A wealthy businessman who is used to getting his own way finds himself sharing a sleeper compartment with a beautiful young woman as they travel to Brussells on the train. It is winter and the heating is not working so the compartment is cold.The two settle down to sleep."Two strangers, on a train..." says the businessman."Yes," says the woman."A man and a woman - away from home - probably never meet again.." Says the businessman. "Yes," says the woman."It's cold, isn't it?" says the businessman."Yes," says the woman. "Could you pass me another blanket?" says the businessman, "... Or maybe we could pretend to be man and wife for tonight?.." "Yes, that would be good," says the woman, "Get your own bloody blanket."

the william pitt story (working creatively to reach agreement, managing situations and environments, facilitation of agreements)There is the story of William Pitt, 1759-1806, British statesman and Prime Minister from 1783-1801, who once sought to expedite a crucial agreement in Parliament for the movement of the British fleet to defend against the French. The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Lord Newcastle, had certain objections, but when Pitt called on the Chancellor endeavouring to resolve the differences, he found the Chancellor distinctly unhappy in bed suffering with gout. The bedroom was freezing, and when Pitt remarked on this, Lord Newcastle replied that the cold weather would hinder the fleet movement, but more particularly that the combination of the cold conditions and the gout would prevent any further discussion of the issue at that time, which Pitt quickly judged to be at the root of the problem. Begging the Chancellor's pardon, Pitt calmly removed his boots, climbed into bed and drew up the covers (apparently there was another bed in the room..), whereupon the two were able to discuss the matter and soon agreed a united way forward.

the biscuit factory story (making assumptions, other people's perspectives, individual needs and motivations)This is a true story. Some years ago the following exchange was broadcast on an Open University sociology TV programme. An interviewer was talking to a female production-line worker in a biscuit factory. The dialogue went like this: Interviewer: How long have you worked here? Production Lady: Since I left school (probably about 15 years).Interviewer: What do you do? Production Lady: I take packets of biscuits off the conveyor belt and put them into cardboard boxes. Interviewer: Have you always done the same job? Production Lady: Yes. Interviewer: Do you enjoy it? Production Lady: Oooh Yes, it's great, everyone is so nice and friendly, we have a good laugh. Interviewer (with a hint of disbelief): Really? Don't you find it a bit boring? Production Lady: Oh no, sometimes they change the biscuits... My thanks to Shirley Moon for this lovely story, who also points out the following lessons within it:Do not impose your own needs and ambitions on to other people who may not share them.Don't assume that things that motivate you will motivate someone else.Recognise that sources of happiness may vary widely between people.

See also the sections on personality styles, multiple intelligence and learning styles, and motivation, which all relate to this story.

a short story about eggs (time management, creative thinking and problem-solving)A young woman was in her kitchen.A pan of water was simmering on the stove. She was making boiled eggs for breakfast. He walked in.Their eyes met. "Make love to me here, now," she said. They made love on the kitchen table. "Couldn't resist me, huh?" he said. "The egg timer is broken," she replied.Of course this story is a bit far-fetched given that an egg timer lasts for three whole minutes.. (Ack Detoxman)

the translator story (communications, assumptions, creativity, deceit, language, relationships, just deserts) The story goes that a prominent, married, philandering, wealthy politician took advantage of a young female Italian translator during an overseas visit. Shortly after his return home he received a phone call at his office from the woman informing him that she was pregnant and that he was definitely the father. Seemingly experienced at dealing with such situations, the politician instructed the young woman, "I will arrange for you and the child to be provided for. Do not worry about money. I will pay ten times the typical Italian settlement, but this must be kept secret." "I see," said the young woman, a little taken aback, but since she knew the man and his reputation she was not unduly surprised, and was also entirely happy never to see or speak to him again.He went on, "Don't ever call me again. Send me a postcard with some sort of coded message confirming date of birth, that the child is healthy and whether a boy or girl. Use your imagination - you are a translator after all.""As you wish," said the young woman, and ended the call.A little under nine months later the politician's wife (who was also his PA) was opening his mail. When she came to a particular postcard the politician noticed and suddenly became attentive."Here's a postcard..." said his wife."Oh yes," said the politician, "What does it say?""Just a silly joke I think," said his wife, continuing, as she watched the colour drain from her husband's face, "It says: 'March 12th - Just had three big beautiful bowls of spaghetti - all with meatballs..' "(Ack SF)

the helpful old lady story (check the facts, false assumptions, etc)One afternoon, an old lady, laden with shopping, noticed two small boys on the front step of a house. With their bags and uniforms they were obviously going home after school. They were on tip-toe trying to reach the door-bell with a stick."Poor little lads, they can't get in," she thought, "Parents these days just don't seem to care."So she marched up the path, reached over the boys and gave the bell a long firm push.The surprised boys turned around and screamed "Quick, run!" and promptly disappeared over the garden wall.

the buddha and the abuse story (responding to other people's negative behaviour; angry customers, disruptive kids, bad-tempered bosses, etc)A tale is told about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483BC), the Indian prince and spiritual leader whose teachings founded Buddhism. This short story illustrates that every one of us has the choice whether or not to take personal offence from another person's behaviour.It is said that on an occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?""The giver," said the group after a little thought. "Any fool can see that," added the angry stranger."Then it follows, does it not," said the Buddha, "Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings."(This is related to Transactional Analysis)

the gandhi shoe story (selfless compassion, generosity without strings)Mohandas [Mahatma] Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948), the great Indian statesman and spiritual leader is noted for his unusual humanity and selflessness, which this story epitomises. Gandhi was boarding a train one day with a number of companions and followers, when his shoe fell from his foot and disappeared in the gap between the train and platform. Unable to retrieve it, he took off his other shoe and threw it down by the first. Responding to the puzzlement of his fellow travellers, Gandhi explained that a poor person who finds a single shoe is no better off - what's really helpful is finding a pair.Separately, Gandhi was once asked what he thought of Western Civilisation. Gandhi replied: "I think that it would be a very good idea." The notion still applies. (More inspirational and amusing quotes.)

greta garbo negotiation story (negotiation tactics, negotiating position, independence and the power of choice)Great Garbo (1905-90), the 1930's Swedish-born film star, demonstrated how to negotiate with a bullying adversary, and particularly the tactic of 'walking away'. After Garbo had become established as a major star, she decided to negotiate a contract that suitably reflected her considerable box-office value to the producers. Accordingly she demanded a weekly fee of $5,000 - compared to the derisory $350 a week she'd previously been paid. When film mogul Louis Mayer heard Garbo's demand he offered her $2,500. Garbo replied simply, in her Swedish-American accent, "I think I go home.." And off she went.Garbo returned to her hotel and stayed there, not budging, while Mayer stewed - for seven months - at which Mayer eventually caved in and gave Garbo what she asked for.(Interestingly Garbo never actually said, "I want to be alone". There phrase was in fact "I want to be left alone," which her character Grusinskaya said in Garbo's 1932 film Grand Hotel. The resonance of the words with Garbo's real life didn't just extend to her negotiating style: she retired in 1941 with the world still at her feet, and lived the rest of her life an obsessive recluse in New York after becoming a US citizen in 1951.)

the jesse james story (tactics, morality, good and bad in us all)The notorious American Wild West bank robber Jesse James (1847-82) was hunted and demonised by the authorities, but was held in high regard by many ordinary folk. Here's an example of why: The story goes that Jesse James and his gang had taken refuge for a few days in ramshackle farmhouse after one of their raids. The old widow who lived there fed the men, and apologised for her modest offerings and the poor state of the accommodation. While the gang laid low, they learned from the widow that she faced eviction from her landlord and was expecting a visit from his debt collector any day. Taking pity on the old lady, as they left, the gang gave her some of the spoils of their robbery to settle her debt - several hundred dollars, which was a small fortune in those days. The gang moved on, but only to a nearby copse, where for a couple more days they watched and waited for the arrival - and departure - of the debt collector, whom they promptly held up and robbed.Of course robbing anyone is bad, but if you've got to rob someone...

the gorilla story (negotiating, understanding communications, agreeing clear objectives and responsibilities)A zoo had among its animals a female gorilla, whose mood was becoming increasingly difficult. The vet concluded that she was on heat and that a mate should be found. The vet contacted some other nearby zoos to find a partner for the broody female, but to no avail. The female gorilla's behaviour continued to worsen, but the vet noticed that she grew calmer, and strangely responsive, whenever a particularly well-built and none-too-handsome keeper entered the enclosure. Being an unprincipled and adventurous fellow, the vet put an outrageous proposition to the keeper: For a fee of five hundred pounds would the keeper consider spending a little 'quality time' with the gorilla, purely in the interests of research of course?.... The keeper, also an unprincipled and adventurous fellow, pondered the suggestion, and after a few minutes agreed to the offer, subject to three conditions. The vet, intrigued, listened to the keeper's demands:"First," the keeper said, "No kissing." "Fine," said the vet."Second, no-one must ever know - if this gets out I'll kill you.""You have my word," said the vet, "And your final condition?""It's just," said the keeper a little awkwardly, "Can I have a couple of weeks to raise the five hundred quid?"(With acknowledgements to Shane and apologies to vets and zoo-keepers everywhere.)

the priest and the politician story (time management, being late, public speaking)After twenty-five years in the same parish, Father O'Shaunessey was saying his farewells at his retirement dinner. An eminent member of the congregation - a leading politician - had been asked to make a presentation and a short speech, but was late arriving. So the priest took it upon himself to fill the time, and stood up to the microphone: "I remember the first confession I heard here twenty-five years ago and it worried me as to what sort of place I'd come to... That first confession remains the worst I've ever heard. The chap confessed that he'd stolen a TV set from a neighbour and lied to the police when questioned, successfully blaming it on a local scallywag. He said that he'd stolen money from his parents and from his employer; that he'd had affairs with several of his friends' wives; that he'd taken hard drugs, and had slept with his sister and given her VD. You can imagine what I thought... However I'm pleased to say that as the days passed I soon realised that this sad fellow was a frightful exception and that this parish was indeed a wonderful place full of kind and decent people..."At this point the politician arrived and apologised for being late, and keen to take the stage, he immediately stepped up to the microphone and pulled his speech from his pocket:"I'll always remember when Father O'Shaunessey first came to our parish," said the politician, "In fact, I'm pretty certain that I was the first person in the parish that he heard in confession.."(Ack Stephen Hart)

lipstick kisses on the mirror story (creative thinking, creative problem-solving, creative management techniques, avoiding confrontation)A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the caretaker would wipe away the kisses, and the next day lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had become a bit of a game. The head teacher usually took a creative approach to problem solving, and so the next day she asked a few girl representatives from each class to meet with her in the lavatory."Thank you for coming," said the head, "You will see there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this washroom.."Some of the girls grinned at each other."As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is not easy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore had to develop a special cleaning regime, and my hope is that when you see the effort involved you will help spread the word that we'd all be better off if those responsible for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in future.."At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet cubicles, dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of the lipstick-covered mirrors.The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.(Thanks H)

measuring by averages story (analysis, measurement, statistics, etc)Three statisticians went hunting in the woods. Before long, one of them pointed to a plump pigeon in a tree, and the three of them stopped and took aim. The first fired, missing the bird by a couple of inches to the left. Immediately afterwards the second fired, but also missed, a couple of inches to the right. The third put down his gun exclaiming, "Great shooting lads, on average I reckon we got it..." (ack K Hutchinson)

the blind golfers story (an ironic example of lack of empathy, and different people's perspectives) A clergyman, a doctor and a business consultant were playing golf together one day and were waiting for a particularly slow group ahead. The business consultant exclaimed, "What's with these people? We've been waiting over half and hour! It's a complete disgrace." The doctor agreed, "They're hopeless, I've never seen such a rabble on a golf course." The clergyman spotted the approaching greenkeeper and asked him what was going on, "What's happening with that group ahead of us? They're surely too slow and useless to be playing, aren't they?" The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The three golfers fell silent for a moment. The clergyman said, "Oh dear, that's so sad. I shall say some special prayers for them tonight." The doctor added, rather meekly, "That's a good thought. I'll get in touch with an ophthalmic surgeon friend of mine to see if there's anything that can be done for them." After pondering the situation for a few seconds, the business consultant turned to the greenkeeper and asked, "Why can't they play at night?"(Other job-titles can be substituted instead of business consultant to suit the purpose of the story, for example, government advisor, venture capitalist, engineer, project manager, accountant, finance director, quality manager, etc)

the sales and marketing rugby analogy story (for teams, motivation, team-building, departmental cooperation, training, public speaking)I am assured this is a true story. A consultant was asked to give a talk at a sales conference. The CEO asks him to focus on the importance of cooperation and teamwork between the sales and marketing teams, since neither group has a particularly high regard for the other, and the lack of cohesion and goodwill is hampering effectiveness and morale. The marketing staff constantly moan about the sales people 'doing their own thing' and 'failing to follow central strategy'; and the sales people say that the marketing people are all 'idle theorists who waste their time at exhibitions and agency lunches' and have 'never done a decent day's work in their lives'. Being a lover of rugby, the consultant decides to use the analogy of a rugby team's forwards and backs working together to achieve the best team performance:"......So, just as in the game of rugby, the forwards, like the marketing department, do the initial work to create the platform and to make the opportunities, and then pass the ball out to the backs, the sales department, who then use their skills and energy to score the tries. The forwards and the backs, just like marketing and sales, are each good at what they do: and they work together so that the team wins..." said the consultant, finishing his talk.The audience seemed to respond positively, and the conference broke for lunch. At the bar the consultant asked one of the top sales-people what he'd thought of the analogy - had it given him food for thought?"Yes, I see what you mean," said the salesman, "It does make sense. The sales people - the backs, yes? - the backs need the marketing department - the forwards, yes? - to make the opportunities for us, so that we, the backs, can go and score the tries - to win the business. We work together as a team - each playing our own part - working as a team."The consultant beamed and nodded enthusiastically, only to be utterly dashed when the salesman added as an afterthought, "I still think our forwards are a bunch of wankers..."(with thanks to Martin Deighton)

the lock and key story (kindness and generosity, 'good pebble ripples', memorable customer service experiences)A British family were on holiday in a rented motor-home in the USA. Travelling through California they visited the Magic Mountain amusement park close by Los Angeles. Mid-afternoon, halfway through what was turning out to be a most enjoyable day at the park, Mum, Dad and the three kids came upon a particularly steep plummeting ride. In the queue, the ride attendants strongly warned everyone about the risks of losing hats, spectacles, coins and keys, etc., and these warnings were echoed by large signs around the ride. During the ride, Dad lost the keys.Due to the fact that the motor-home was a replacement vehicle resulting from a breakdown earlier in the holiday, there were no spare keys. And there were six keys on the lost bunch: ignition, front doors, side door, fuel tank, propane tank, and storage cupboards.The park attendants drove the family back to the motor-home, suggesting the least damaging ways to break into it. Fortunately a window had been left slightly open, enabling the middle son to be put in and to open the doors from the inside.Inside the motor-home Mum and Dad discussed what to do. They were stranded.Middle son (all of six years old) said he'd got a key - said he'd found it - but no-one was listening properly. "Perhaps it will fit, I'll get it." (The optimism of young children of course knows no bounds.)Not thinking for one second that little lad's key would fit, Dad tried it. Incredibly the key fitted the ignition - and the driver's door. Middle son is a hero. It seems he'd found the key in a cupboard when packing his clothes soon after the motor-homes were swapped after the first vehicle broke down.The next day back at the camp site, Dad called a local locksmith to see what could be done."I might be able to make new keys from the locks, if you bring the vehicle to me," said the locksmith, so the family drove to the locksmith, whose business was in a small shopping centre in the California countryside.The locksmith looked at the motor-home, and said he'd try. "If you come back in an hour I'll know better what I can do for you."The family went to the nearby shops and a coffee bar to pass the time. Dad returned to the locksmith to see how things were going. The locksmith says he thought he could make new keys for all the locks, but it would be a long job. In fact the job took the locksmith most of the day. The family hung around the locksmiths, visited the shops again, and generally made a day of being at the little shopping centre. While working on the locks and the keys, the locksmith talked with the family about England, about America, about the rides at Las Vegas, about motor-homes, about business, about locks, about families and kids, about lots of things.Late on in the afternoon the locksmith said that he'd nearly done - "But you have time to go get something to eat if you want. When you come back I'll be done." So the family went to a burger bar for something to eat.An hour later the family returned to the locksmith's shop. It was 4pm and they'd been at the shopping centre since 10.00 in the morning.When Dad entered the locksmith's shop the locksmith was smiling. He put two new gleaming bunches of keys on the counter. "Here you go - a new set of keys for all the locks, and a spare set too," said the locksmith, "And I tell you what I'm going to do..."Dad offered his credit card, gratefully."You know, I've had such a great time with you guys today," says the locksmith, "You can have these for free."This is a true story. It happened over ten years ago. I still tell people about it now, like I'm telling you. The company is Newhall Valencia Lock & Key, in the El Centro Shopping Center, Canyon Country, California. This little company gave me and my family an experience that transcended customer service, and I was delighted when I found their business card in my kitchen drawer the other day, because it prompted me to share this story and to properly express my thanks.Just a final note - I'm not suggesting that great customer service is about giving your products and services away. Obviously that's not a particularly sustainable business model. What I'm saying though, is that there are times when you'll see opportunity to do something really special for a customer, or for another human being, and when you do it, the ripples of your 'good pebble' can stretch around the world, and last for years and years. So, within the boundaries of what's possible and viable for you, drop in a good pebble whenever you can and make some ripples of your own.

the stranger and the gingernuts story (making assumptions, think before you act, different perspectives)At the airport after a tiring business trip a lady's return flight was delayed. She went to the airport shop, bought a book, a coffee and a small packet containing five gingernut biscuits. The airport was crowded and she found a seat in the lounge, next to a stranger. After a few minutes' reading she became absorbed in her book. She took a biscuit from the packet and began to drink her coffee. To her great surprise, the stranger in the next seat calmly took one of the biscuits and ate it. Stunned, she couldn't bring herself to say anything, nor even to look at the stranger. Nervously she continued reading. After a few minutes she slowly picked up and ate the third biscuit. Incredibly, the stranger took the fourth gingernut and ate it, then to the woman's amazement, he picked up the packet and offered her the last biscuit. This being too much to tolerate, the lady angrily picked up her belongings, gave the stranger an indignant scowl and marched off to the boarding gate, where her flight was now ready. Flustered and enraged, she reached inside her bag for her boarding ticket, and found her unopened packet of gingernuts... (Adapted from a suggestion submitted by S Frost. Apparently the story appears in a variety of urban legends dating from at least 30 years ago, and is also described in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, book four, 1984, 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish'. Ack L Baldock.)

the england football story (cause and effect, foundations of failure, fundamental strategy, structure, planning and philosophy, strategic analysis)When a business fails or struggles in some other way people commonly look for recent tactical or incidental causes, but the roots of failure are usually far deeper in foundational strategies, structures and philosophies. The poor performance of the England football team at the FIFA 2010 World Cup offers an example of a venture inflicted with fundamental problems, and therefore likely to fail. Here are some indicators (as at FIFA World Cup 2010) of foundational weakness and vulnerability in the basic organization and ethos of the England national football effort. Think of it like a business. Success is difficult when foundations are flaky and misaligned. With a little imagination it is easy to relate these lessons/examples to the business world. The English Premiership (England's top domestic league and effectively the pool from which the national team is selected) is dominated by clubs which are:Mostly owned, and the teams managed/coached, by people/companies from outside of the UK, who have little interest in the success of the England national team, and in many cases have very strong national football loyalties overseas. Mostly staffed by players from outside of England (two-thirds are from overseas), which restricts the pool of available English national talent, and also the opportunities for English home-grown talent to develop and become experienced.Clubs are very strongly profit-driven, and are so debt-ridden as to be effectively bankrupt.As a consequence of these commercial pressures, players are forced to play too many games in a season (generally far more than their international counterparts), without break, and so that when the World Cup happens it is during the one month in the year when players would normally be resting and recovering.

The leadership of the Football Association, guardian of England's national game, has for some years been chaotic and disjointed, indicators being:Recent resignations of Chief Executive and Chairman.Regular scandals and infighting.Lack of control over domestic game and clubs.

Other 'foundations of failure' indicators:England has approximately 10% of the number of FIFA qualified coaches compared to European countries like Spain, Germany, Italy, and France (about 2,700 compared to about 20,000 or 30,000 in these other countries).The coach of the national team is not English and cannot speak English properly. It is not ideal to have coach who cannot communicate effectively, and by virtue of his foreign nationality cannot possibly have English national pride in the truest sense. Would an Englishman ever coach the Italian or German national team? This is not xenophobia (dislike of foreigners) or discrimination, it is practicality and common sense.The coach is paid 5 million (or 6m, depending on interpretation) per year, regardless of performance; moreover failure and early departure is effectively rewarded because of a contracted fixed two-year term termination payment (although the effect of this is probably to maintain a failed situation - because the cost of change is prohibitive).England players are paid around 100,000 per week; for doing another job (playing for their clubs). Failure at national level may be slightly upsetting for a day or two, but it does not really hurt or matter. At least one England squad member had to be asked by the coach to make himself available for his country. Another could not be persuaded. National representation is a peak sporting achievement. It's worrying when candidates reject this notion, and just as worrying when such candidates are pursued and recruited.Culturally the integrity and ethos of football - especially what it means to be a footballer - has been lost to the corporate world. The focus (of the role-models and therefore the kids) is no longer on ball skills and being the best - it's on the brands, the replica shirts, the day-glo boots and the millionaire celebrity lifestyles. Not much works well when hype dominates substance.

A national football team is in many ways like a business. It needs solid strategic and philosophical foundations. Misalignment at a basic level eventually produces problems at the level of tactical or operational implementation. Like a national football team, if a business fails at a tactical or operational level, the causes - and therefore the solutions - are generally much deeper than they seem.This story can be useful in demonstrating/exploring the strategic business analysis tools such as SWOT, PEST and Porter's Five Forces model, and in researching fundamental drivers/indicators of strategic viability.

the new employee stories (importance of induction training for new starters, initiative and lateral thinking, interpretation, delegation, rules, checking and monitoring)These (allegedly true) short stories provide amusing examples of lateral thinking and initiative, and staff training (or lack of) at the workplace. It is better to train people properly rather than assume that new starters have the necessary initiative to work out for themselves what they should be doing..the new bus driver storyWhile transporting some unfortunate mental patients from one secure place to another, the newly appointed bus driver stopped at a roadside restaurant for natural break. On his return to the bus, all twenty patients were gone. Being a resourceful fellow and fearing the consequences of his negligence, he drove to the next bus stop, where he claimed to be a replacement for the usual service. Allowing twenty people aboard, the driver made straight for his destination, where he warned staff at the gates that the 'patients' were deluded and extremely volatile. The angry 'patients' were duly removed, sedated and incarcerated, and remained in detention for three days, until staff were able to check the records and confirm their true identities. The actual patients were never found.the new elevator cleaner storyA new hotel employee was asked to clean the elevators and report back to the supervisor when the task was completed. When the employee failed to appear at the end of the day the supervisor assumed that like many others he had simply not liked the job and left. However, after four days the supervisor bumped into the new employee. He was cleaning in one of the elevators. "You surely haven't been cleaning these elevators for four days, have you?" asked the supervisor, accusingly. "Yes sir," said the employee, "This is a big job and I've not finished yet - do you realise there are over forty of them, two on each floor, and sometimes they are not even there.."

the bedtime story (communications, men and women, communications methods, relation