IM A G A Z I N E

ConnectingFirst Edition:

A DARING WAY TO CONNECT TO SELF & OTHERSTHE IMPACT OF SISTERS

I TAKE CAREYOUTH CORNER

BLOOM INTO SPRING MINDFULLYFROM THE DESK OF SHIRLEY CLARK

A DARING WAY TO CONNECTto Self & Others

Studies have shown that we must have connection with other human beings in order to thrive. In Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham), Dr. Brene’ Brown sets forth a new perspective on our hard-wired need for connection -- how connection with others rests on our ability to understand, accept and love our own true selves. According to Dr. Brown, those who are able to acknowledge and embrace their vulnerabilities take a step towards self-compassion, an important factor in the practice of empathy. Empathy is what allows for a deeper and much more meaningful connection with others. Those who embrace their vulnerabilities dare to live life “wholeheartedly,” marked by joy, despite the trials and tribulations that life brings all of us at one point or the other. Those who cannot recognize and embrace their vulnerabilities feel shame. Shame is feeling as though we are not good enough for others to love. We shield ourselves from shame through perfectionism, by numbing ourselves with alcohol, food and other addictions, and employing pessimism and busyness, pushing connection with self and others further and further away. This past January, twelve women explored Brene’ Brown’s Daring Way through a 6 week course called The Wholehearted Journey at The Women’s Center. The class was led by Ana Rosa Zamora, a certified life coach and family counselor, who has a certification from Brene’ Brown in the Daring Way. The group met once a week in the workshop room at The Center in Vienna, braving the cold and ice to arrive in a warm environment where participants explored the concepts of

vulnerability, shame and what it means to be a true friend. While every participant approached the workshop with her own objectives, one participant’s explanation of the benefits she received from the workshop could have been uttered by all eleven other participants: “Being introduced to the Wholehearted Journey has been an empowering experience. Entering this new world, learning and understanding Brene’ Brown’s concepts… opened up a new door to me, helped me to see how I can live a more authentic life.” Another positive effect of the workshop was the connection that developed naturally between the participants as the group explored these topics. At a “debrief” gathering after the class ended, members decided to keep meeting at each other’s houses for continued discussion. They expressed gratitude for the gift of friendship that had come through the exploration of self. As one said, “ [B]eing part of a group, which was new to me, added so much because it showed that I was not alone struggling with my own fears and vulnerabilities. I am very grateful for this wonderful opportunity.” If you are interested in The Wholehearted Journey at The Women’s Center, click here.You may also find Dr. Brown’s TED talk (which has over 19 million views) to be of value.

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The Impact of Sisters

Gene and Carol Davidson’s connection to each other, to friends and to their community came from their deep and abiding faith. In 1962 they were part of the founding group of Temple Rodef Shalom in Falls Church. Carol, a graduate of Brandeis University and a long-term member of the League of Women Voters, was a founding member of the Sisterhood at the synagogue, serving as President of the group which focused on important women’s issues of the day. When Gene started an endowment for their beloved community, a portion of it was designated to the Sisterhood to commemorate Carol’s legacy of service to women. Since the 1960s much has changed in the way that women of faith gather and serve. Wanting to use the endowment funding to bring meaningful volunteer engagement to issues

that face women today, particularly younger women, the leadership of the group decided to inaugurate The Carol Davidson Women’s Empowerment Event at the synagogue. The free event will be held at Temple Rodef Shalom on Sunday, June 14 from 9 am to 2 pm. There is a $10 charge for lunch. The keynote of the day will be given by Susan Weidman Schneider, chief editor of Lilith Magazine. Five workshops will focus on issues that face women in different ages of life, from healthy relationships for younger women to positive aging for older women. Josie Hertz-Ackerman, VP of Programming for the Women of Temple Rodef Shalom Sisterhood approached The Women’s Center and secured the facilitators of The Wholehearted Journey for a session during the conference. (See page 1 for a description of The Wholehearted Journey.) “The motto of the Sisterhood is ‘stronger together.’ Our hope is that through this conference, we can learn, grow and use this self-knowledge and our strong bond with each other to give deep meaning to what we do when we volunteer here and in the community,” said Andrea Stillman, co-president of the group. Both Josie and Andrea are hoping that Carol’s granddaughters will be in attendance that day, to see their grandmother’s legacy in action – a group of faithful women who are strong, learning and leading together to benefit women in the community.

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You do so much to take care of the community and those you love, and to do this, it is imperative to stay healthy, in body, mind and spirit. Yet many of us neglect the “mind” part of our being. Somehow, over the years, improving our physical health has become something we literally wear on our sleeves with Fitbits or Fitness Pals, and yet taking care of our mental health is still something we don’t talk about often. At The Women’s Center, we hope to change the stigma about mental health by bringing awareness to the many ways that all of us take care of our mental health – every day. We take care to reduce stress in our lives through exercise or meditation, to find our life’s true purpose in our home or work life, to communicate more effectively with those we love, or create plans to get a promotion or find financial freedom. Just like preventative practices with our physical health, these practices help us to become resilient so that when health challenges come, we are able to take care of ourselves, our families and our community. The Women’s Center is your go-to resource, ready to help you take care of your mental health. You’ll find therapists and advocates, professional counselors, coaches, legal and financial consultants, workshop facilitators, volunteers and staff ready to provide information and resources to help you take care. Let us know how you take care – of yourself, your loved ones, your community. Email Shirley Clark with your story – and we’ll send you a “I Take Care” button you can wear with pride, helping us start a community conversation about how we can all end the stigma around taking care of our mental health.

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I Take Care

Mind the GapBy Maggie Duncan, youth correspondent for The Women’s Center. Read her other essays on The Women’s Center’s Tumblr page.

I just read the latest results of the Fairfax County Youth Survey. As a high school sophomore, I am saddened when I read that one-in-four girls in Fairfax County School who responded seriously considered suicide in the past year. A whole half of the respondents has been bullied in the past year. The percentage of students who knew someone hurt by cyber bullying was around forty percent. I want to do my part to advocate for friendship and compassion and for ways we can support each other. Friendship is something almost everyone will experience in their lives. Humans crave companionship, and therefore attach to others for comfort. It protects us and makes us feel safe. It is important for mental health that we have people we care for and trust. For some people, finding friends is easy, and being outgoing comes naturally.

For others, shyness, awkwardness, or doubt may haunt them, and it may seem impossible to find a friend to connect with. For everyone like that, let me give you some advice that you’ve most likely heard a thousand times before: It takes thirty seconds of courage. When I was in the fifth grade, I was bullied and had no friends. I was on the search for friends, and was having a very hard time finding someone who I could connect with. I asked another girl who was bullied at my school to go to a baseball game with me. It took a crazy amount of courage for me to reach out to her like that. The result? Five years later, she is my best friend, the one who knows absolutely everything about me. The truth is that she was looking for a real friend, too, and when we found each other, it just clicked. So to those of you out there worrying about not having friends: reach out. And to those of you who are blessed with friends: reach out. I know that it is easy to say, but hard to do. Thirty seconds of courage, and your life may change for the better. You could gain a new friend or a person who is bullied could find friendship and support.

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Welcome to our first edition of IMag! As The Women’s Center reached a milestone birthday last August, and I had been voted in as the Executive Director a few weeks prior, it provided a perfect opportunity for reflection on how The Center has served the community for the past 40 years – and where we are most needed as we continue on our journey. It was during one of our Leadership Conference committee meetings, as we were deciding on a theme, that “Reaching Forward -- Giving Back” surfaced as a theme. I realized that this was much more than a one-day conference theme, it was a guiding mantra for how The Women’s Center can continue our service by explaining how we connect and share our talents and resources. The IMag will serve as a vital connection in our community and a conversation starter. We will deliver three compelling issues of IMag in 2015, bringing you IMag-es of extraordinary people, IMag-ining fresh, new ways to tackle issues and concerns in our community. It is my hope that this publication will be another Women’s Center resource, inspiring you to take care of your mental health. Please feel free to pass this issue on to friends, family, and colleagues. As we continue to shape content to connect our community, your feedback is most welcome.

I wish each of you a healthy and productive spring!

Warm regards,Shirley

From the Desk of Shirley Clark, CEO & ED of the Women’s Center

1. journalFeeling overwhelmed, too much on your to-do list? Pen your thoughts, fears, dreams, and anything else from your mind onto paper. Observe patterns, clarify thoughts and feelings, and resolve problems. Psychologist James Pennebaker contends that regular journaling strengthens immune cells, called T-lymphocytes.

2. sun saluteWear comfy clothing and roll out a yoga mat to move your body through twelve poses that enhance strength and flexibility, while also de-stressing and energizing. Try a few in the morning to greet your day, set your intention, and open your body. Listen to this 10-minute mp3 where I walk you through the poses.

3. meditate Spend five to 10 minutes reclined, sitting upright, or walking in a quiet setting. Observe the inhale and exhale moving in and out of your body, along with its sensations. As your mind moves away from the breath and sensations, gently bring it back to the breath without judgment. Think of this practice as training a sweet little puppy—gentle and loving.

A guest byline by Kimberly Wilson, pre-licensed therapist at The Women’s Center and founder, owner, teacher and creative director of Tranquil Space, a lifestyle-focused yoga studio serving 1,500 students a week at two locations in Washington, DC and Arlington, VA.

Rekindle a connection to yourself that may have been lost during a blistering cold winter.

Below are a few ways to nurture your connection between body and mind:

Bloom into Spring Mindfully

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An IMag-e of the extraordinary Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, authors of The Confidence Code at this year’s 29th Annual Leadership Conference.