How to Read People Like a Book

Download How to Read People Like a Book

Post on 07-May-2017




6 download

Embed Size (px)


How To Read People Like A Book - The Four Basic Elements Of Every Personality

Have you ever wished you could learn how toread people likea book? Have you wondered why some people seem to always be able to know what others are thinking or what they might do next? What a skill that would be for sales people! How awesome would this skill be for anyone who wants to learn how to improve their relationships - whether personal or professional. Is this a a skill that only a few gifted individuals are born with - or can anyone learn it?The answer is both. Some people are naturally gifted at 'reading' people. The rest of us have to learn how to do it. The good news is that over 50 years of behavioral science has basically figured out what we need to know about each other and how we relate to one another. Anyone can learn how to read people better and make adjustments as needed to improve those relationships. If you're ready to learn more, there is no time like the present to get started on the path to better, more fulfilling work and personal relationships.Thanks to the field of psychology known as cognitive psychology, we have a much better understanding of why people make decisions, take actions and say the things they say. Starting with Carl Jung, world-renowned psychologist and ending with the now-famous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, we can basically classify people into four basic categories. Learn these four categories and you have opened a world of understanding into why people do the things they do.Remember that every person has elements of all four categories. But, they tend to favor one or two types of behavior patterns. These favorite behavior patterns indicate their dominant personality types. You can almost guess a person's personality type from watching them for a while, or just talking with them. Beware that some people do not display their dominant personality type because they are uncomfortable 'being genuine' with others. As a result it is easy to mis-read people. But the good news is that you can begin to learn which people hide their true feelings - and that will tell you volumes about their personality type.Element One: Traditionalists & Rule FollowersThese people are the ones that pride themselves in knowing right from wrong. They value the traditions of home, family, country, etc. - even religion (however, they do not have to be religious people at all). These are people who have a strong sense of duty, tradition, honor. They tend to be on time to everything. They like to make lists and check them off so they can get lots of stuff done. They expect everyone else to value the same things as them. They tend to be the volunteers on the PTO/PTA, they are the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts troop leaders, they are on Rotary club and Lions club and Kiwanis. They see themselves as good leaders, but others often see them as bossy. They don't have a problem telling others what to do, and when they are doing it incorrectly.You know these types of people. They make up the majority of the population - close to one-third of the world! They exist in every culture, in every religion and in every country. These are the people who maintain the status quo for any group. They tend to see change as a bad thing; they are usually threatened by change. They feel good about themselves when they are recognized for doing the right things, and being dependable and hard-working. People who don't follow the rules really stress them out. Meetings without agendas also stress them out. To go on a road trip without a plan and destination (and smartly packed belongings and snacks) would be unheard of. They like life to be neat and orderly and follow a plan.Element Two: People PersonsThis type of personality values relationships above all else. They can be outwardly bubbly and welcoming, or seemingly quiet and shy - but the bottom line is that they can't stand conflict between people. They want everyone to get along well and like each other. They can't stand people who are "fake" - and they really can't stand bullies! They tend to be in tune with other people's feelings - sometimes even more so than the person they are observing.These people make great counselors and tend to be everyone's confidant. They are seen by others as too trusting and naive; but they see themselves are warm, caring and loving people. They never want to hurt anyone's feelings and they dislike it when others' feelings are hurt. They want to help heal everyone's heartaches. They can't stand to be alone.They love people and can get along well with just about everyone they meet. These people are the peace makers in a group. They would rather back down from a conflict than stand their ground and create a scene. They are self-sacrificing - and they appreciate when others notice how much they care about others.Mean people and those who are insensitive to others' feelings really stress these folks out. They hate it when people hurt others. They want everyone to be happy and enjoy each others' company. Many people see them as push-overs who are easily pushed into compliance. They tend to stuff their feelings because they don't want to cause others any pain or conflict. They can't stand negative people who complain and gripe - positive attitudes only! They look for (and hope for) the best in everyone.Element Three: Analytical PeopleThese folks are deep thinkers who enjoy analyzing complex things and ideas. The great thinkers of the world are these people. They tend to be better with things and gadgets than they are with people. Their greatest strength is their ability to analyze things with great insight and thought - while maintaining objective. These folks like to be 'in the know.'Analytical folks value brain power. They value knowledge and information; facts and figures; data - things that are quantifiable. They are not really 'people persons' and they get stressed out when they have to go to a party or social event. They tend to hide their emotions and are often seen as unemotional. Being around the 'people persons' really stresses them out.They like to have all the right data and information. They enjoy being known as a know-it-all. They like to be correct and have the answers to every question you may throw at them. Don't ask them their opinion unless you are prepared to hear constructive criticism or an overly detailed explanation of some technical widget.Do not attempt to argue with the Analyticals. They believe they are right on most issues 99% of the time. Arguing with these folks is like arguing with a brick wall. If it's the Traditionalists who know the rules, then its the Analyticals who know the research and laws behind the rules. and why we even have the rule in the first place.To be asked a question that they don't know the answer to, really frustrates these folks. They want to be known as the subject matter experts. They cherish being valued for their great thinking and analytical skills. They tend to look at the big picture as well as the fine-tuned details. They tend to use technical words and jargon - big words - and they know how to spell them!Element Four: the Fun-LoversThese folks are here to have a good time - and they want to make sure everyone else does too. They value being skilled in something, like being a professional surfer or being an auto-mechanic. They always tend to be in the middle of the action. If there's fun to be had, the Fun-Lovers will be having it! They get stereotyped as the party animal, but not all Fun-Lovers are really party animals.Bureaucratic paperwork and rule following stresses Fun-Lovers out. They are often unaware that a rule existed about something, and they don't mind breaking rules if it will help them get what they want. They live in the here and now and focus on the next moment. Planning ahead is not valued; instead they value living on the edge. A carefully planned out road trip is not as appealing as a spur-of-the-moment road trip.The Fun-Lovers welcome change and enjoy variety. These folks tend to be the ones who rise up to the occasion during disasters (along with the Traditionalists) and they help lead the way. If they were a vehicle, it would be a sports car or a jeep or a plane or motorcycle - anything exciting and fun. They can't stand anything that is boring or tedious.The Basic Four Elements Of PersonalityNow you understand the basics of each personality type. You can observe someone's behavior for a short time and you will know volumes about them. Armed with this new information it is your responsibility to help each personality type to deal with others