How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-DoubtByMelissa Ng

When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. ~Honore de BalzacYou know what that voice in your head saysYou cant do it. Youll never begood enough. Youre going to fail.This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary.You know you shouldnt let self-doubt bother you, but its a sneaky critter. Sometimes, you just cant contain it and it slips past your barriers.Andself-doubtis greedy. When its loose, it devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity.You try to remove self-doubt by forcing yourself to think positive, which usually doesnt work as well as you think it should.The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back.However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt for yourbenefit.A Story about Crushing Dreams and Being RealisticWhen I was a child, I was in love with drawing.For me, drawing was as exciting as going to the playground.At some point in my childhood, I decided Id become an artist of some kind. But the critics in my life were quick to cut me down. Ill bet youve heard the same kind of clichs:Art is great but not a realistic future goal. While its a nicehobbyto have, you cant really make a living out of it.Youll just be another starving artist.As children, we internalize these negative messages and parrot them back. If the adults say so, it must be true, right? By adulthood, every time we have a small hope, were the first to snuff it out:Drawing is nice but not necessary. Ill never be as good as the real professionals anyway.I dont even have a degree from an accredited art school.For years I stopped myself before I even tried. I did it because I was afraid.I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid everyone would hate myart. I wasafraid of failingas an artist.When fear grabs you, your beloved goal forever feels out of reach. But it doesnt just stop there, does it?If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questioning your knowledge and abilities in everything you do.And if youre like me, you desperately want to find a cure.One fateful day I realized that trying to beat out my self-doubt wouldntrebuild my confidence.If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing totake careof it.Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realize its actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it.That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.Now I no longer tell myself, Ill never be a good enough artist. Instead, Iask myself,What can I do to become better? And I take baby steps.I went from drawing every few weeks, to every week, and now every two to three days. Re-framing self-doubt has also helped me cope with other challenges, like successfully starting a small business.Self-doubt doesnt have to be as monstrous as we make it out to be. Its all about perspective. The following tips will help you manage your self-doubt.Identify and ease your doubts.Learning how to recognize when your self-talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying, I cant, or, I dont know, or, What if, a red flag should go up.Instead of telling yourself, I cant do X, say, I cant do Xyet.But Im working on it.Or if you start wondering, What if I fail? you can respond by saying, Then Ill try again.Doing this transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. In the end, its about giving yourself a chance.Stop listening to toxic people.Toxic peopleare convinced that everything is impossible, and they are quick to shoot down ideas.Theyll poison your mind into a state of hopelessness.Dont let them steal your energy just because theyve lost theirs.Instead, surround yourself with supportive and passionate people who can both inspire you and bring out thebestin you. You can find them among friends, family, books, or blogs like Tiny Buddha.They will lift you up when you feel down and help you see the bright side of your darkest fears and doubts.Recall your successes.This one is tough. When youre down, youll more easily remember the bad instead of the good.And oftentimes, the rah-rah pep talk just doesnt cut it.So, I suggest writing a list. Grab a piece of paper or small notebook, or open a blank document. Now write down your successes, big or small.If youre a bit bashful about your achievements, ask someone you trust to tell you the great things they think youve done. Its refreshing and a great confidence boost.And finally, keep your list with you at all times. It will help you find your way back to yourself whenever you get lost.Trust and love yourself.You probably spend more time being your own worst enemy instead ofbeing your own best friend.But you deserve to treat yourself better. After all, you have the rest of your life to spend with yourself.Think of it this way: Would you mentally abuse or condemn your loved ones? Would you let them suffer in their time of need? If not, then why would you do it to yourself?So, be kind to yourself.You are more capable and worthy than you give yourself credit for.Give yourself permission to tryand try again.Self-doubt never disappears. Over time, you just get better at dealing with it.It will greet you every time you fall out of your comfort zone and whenever you strive to do something great.But know that its not something you have to fear or resent. Your doubts are only thoughts, not your future.Sure, something may go wrong. But if you never try, youre losing an opportunity to improve your life.Are you willing to risk that instead?