Name:

Learning goals

B F1 F2 F3 F4 SAO1 – Inference

Learning Can I offer some interpretation and explanation of meaning using relevant textual references?

Mastering Can I make inferences and support these using relevant textual references which are briefly explained?

Extending

Can I make inferences and deductions which are supported by relevant textual references and clearly explained?Can I begin analyse the inferences I make?

AO1 – Subject terminologyMastering Can I begin to use subject

terminology within my response?Extending

Can I use subject terminology which shows a general understanding?

AO2 – Structural and organisational techniques

Learning Can I identify a structural technique or a feature of organisation within a text and offer a general comment on its effect?

Mastering Can I identify structural techniques or features of organisation within a text and offer a brief explanation on how they have been used to achieve an effect on the reader?

Extending

Can I explain how a writer’s structural choices or features or organisation are used to achieve an effect on the reader?

Lesson 1: What do we mean by ‘structure’?

Retention quiz: Proper nouns

1. What is a proper noun?2. Identify the proper nouns from within the following sentences:

a. John Boyne was born in Ireland in 1971.

b. This is the story of Barnaby Brocket.

c. When he was sitting on a Metro train and a group of teenagers were

talking loudly nearby, he would wait until the next stop, jump off and

move to a different carriage before the doors could close again.

d. He worked as a solicitor at the firm of Bother and Blastit in the most

magnificent city in the world – Sydney, Australia.

e. Eleanor Bullingham grew up on Beacon Hill, in a small house

overlooking the northern beaches of Sydney.

(Sentences taken from ‘The Terrible Thing that happened to Barnaby Brocket’ by John Boyne)

Extension:1. How were you able to identify the proper nouns?2. Why do writers use a range of proper nouns in works of fiction?

What is text structure?

This term we are going to be looking at structure. Text structure refers to the ways in which authors organise information in a text. When authors write, they wish to communicate ideas and they will use a range of structural and organisational features to help them with this (Meyer 1985). The devices they use will be dependent upon the type of text that is being written.

Task:

Analyse a range of texts to identify the structural devices they employ.

Extension:

Consider why these devices are used and how it helps the writer to convey an idea effectively.

Structural and organisational features of a textWhat structural devices does this text employ to communicate an

idea?

Supporting examples Why is this structural device used? How does it help the

reader?Poetry Stanzas Stanza 1: To help organise the poet’s

ideas and build up a narrative introducing different elements.

Diary

Fiction

Newspaper article

Play

Encyclopaedia

Letter

Text A: Newspaper Article

Text B: Diary

Text C: Fiction / prose

Text D: Poetry

Text E: Play

Text F: Encyclopaedia entry

Text G: Letter

Lesson 2: The story / narrative arc

Vocabulary - structure

Retention quiz: Common Nouns

1. What is a common noun?2. Identify the common nouns in the sentences below:

a. I know I’m not an ordinary ten-year-old kid. I mean, sure I do ordinary

things.

b. I eat ice cream. I ride my bike. I play ball. I have an Xbox.

c. If I found a magic lamp and I could have one wish, I would wish that I

had a normal face that no one ever noticed at all.

d. I don’t even know what the noises were exactly because I didn’t hear

them myself, but Via heard and she just started yelling at the kids.

e. But I’ve had two or three surgeries every year since then (some big,

some small) and because I’m little for my age, and I have some other

medical mysteries that doctors never really figured out, I used to get sick

a lot.

(Sentences taken from ‘Wonder’ by RJ Palacio.)

The story arc

In this unit we will be focusing on structure but we will be looking at the range of ways in which fiction texts are structured, employ structural devices and use cohesion.

One way in which stories are structured is through the ‘story arc’ or the ‘narrative arc.’ The arc, which looks something like a pyramid, explains the chronological construction of a plot in a novel or a story. It is made up of the following components:

Exposition (or the stasis is where the author lays the groundwork for the readers. Who are the characters? Where do they live? What’s happening? Think of it as an introduction that helps the readers settle into the story.

The rising action happens after the stage has been set for the readers, and begins to move the story in a forward direction. The rising action is generally characterised by conflict, usually problems and challenges that the characters must overcome. Some authors break this component into four separate elements:

The climax of the story is where the plot reaches its critical mass. It’s the tipping point where tensions are at their highest and the reader is most engaged by what’s happening. The climax is usually where the most exciting or important actions occur.

The falling action occurs on the other side of the climax. Think of it like mountain climbing. Once you’ve reached the peak of the mountain, you have to come back down from the top. While the rising action helps build towards the climax, the falling action helps deescalate the tension and ease readers into the conclusion of the story.

Last, but not least, the resolution of the story is where the plot comes to an end. This is where major problems are solved and loose ends are tied up. Alternatively, readers could be left on a cliff-hanger which is a dramatic and exciting ending that leaves the readers in suspense as to the resolution.

(Taken from: http://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-a-story-arc-definition-examples.html

Now let’s see how we can apply this structure to a number of different texts.

Task:

Text One is ‘Lava’ – a short Disney film. As you are watching this film, can you identify the five stages of the narrative arc.

Exposition(Where we are introduced to the characters and the setting)

The rising action(Where a problem is introduced)

The climax(The highest point of tension)

The falling action (Where the problem begins to be resolved and we move towards the conclusion of the story)

The resolution(Where everything is solved and loose ends are tied up)OR, alternatively,The cliff-hanger(A dramatic and exciting ending leaving the readers in suspense)

Task:

Let’s look at a longer text. Read the following classic fairytale, The Ugly Duckling. As you are reading, consider how the traditional story arc has been applied to this tale. Make notes on each of the five stages.

The Ugly Duckling

1 Once upon a time, an old house stood surrounded by fields and 2 woods.

3 A canal ran past the house, winding gently through the countryside.

4 Here, in the tall grass on the bank, a mother duck had made her nest.

5 The mother duck sat patiently on the nest, keeping her eggs warm 6 until they hatched.

7 She had been sitting and waiting for a very long time. At last, after 8 many days, the eggs began to crack.

9 One by one the ducklings poked out their heads. “Peep, peep!” they10 said, as they looked all around. “How big the world is!”

11 At last all the eggs had hatches, except for one. It was the biggest12 egg of all. The little ducklings looked at it, waiting for their brother or13 sister to come out.

14 Finally the big egg cracked, and out came the last of the chicks. He 15 was very big, and very ugly.

16 “Oh dear!” said the mother duck, “You don’t look like any of my other17 ducklings. But you’re mine, so I’ll treat you just like all the others.”

18 The next day was warm and sunny, and the mother duck took her 19 new family down to the canal. She splashed into the water. One by20 one, the ducklings followed her. Soon they were all swimming 21 beautifully, even the big, ugly one. The mother duck was very proud.

22 “Quack! Quack!” she said. “Follow me, children. I’ll take you to the23 duckyard.”

24 When they reached the duckyard, the mother duck said, “Walk nicely25 and stay close to me. And make sure you are polite to that old brown 26 duck over there. She is the most important duck in the yard.”

27 The duckyard was very noisy. The ducklings stayed close to their

28 mother as the other ducks gathered round to look at them.

29 “Your children are very beautiful,” they told the mother duck, “except30 for that big, ugly duckling.”

31 “Go away! You don’t belong here,” the ducks quacked at the ugly32 duckling.

33 “Leave him alone!” said the mother duck. But the other ducks would34 not listen.

35 “He’s too big!” they said, pecking at him and biting him.

36 The ugly duckling was so unhappy in the duckyard that he ran away.

37 The ugly duckling ran until he came to the great marsh where the wild38 ducks and geese lived. He hid there in the reeds, trying to rest.

39 When the wild ducks and geese found him, they asked him what kind40 of duck he was. The ugly duckling didn’t know.

41 “Well, you’re very ugly,” they said, laughing at him.

42 The ugly duckling was frightened in the marsh, so he ran away again.43 He ran over the fields and meadows, and down a long, winding road.

44 The wind blew, and the duckling was cold and tired.

45 As evening fell, the duckling came to a little cottage. The door was46 open just a crack, so the ugly duckling was able to creep inside out47 of the cold.

48 In the morning, the old woman who lived in the cottage found the ugly49 duckling.

50 “You can stay here,” she told him, “and we shall have duck eggs.”

51 So the duckling stayed, but he did not lay eggs.

52 The old woman had a hen that could lay eggs, and she had a cat that 53 could purr.

54 “Can you purr?” the cat asked the ugly duckling.

55 “No,” said the duckling.56 “Then you can’t stay here,” said the cat and the hen.

57 So the ugly duckling went away again. He found a lake where he 58 could float on the water and dive to the bottom to find food.

59 There were other ducks there, but they all laughed at him because60 he was so ugly. The duckling stayed far away from them.

61 Autumn came. The leaves turned brown, and the air grew colder.

62 One evening, as the sun was setting, a flock of birds flew over the 63 lake. They were handsome white swans with long, graceful necks.

64 As he watched them, the ugly duckling was filled with a strange 65 longing. He loved the beautiful swans so much that he thought his66 heart would burst.

67 Winter came. Snow clouds filled the sky, and the lake froze. The 68 duckling had to make a hole in the ice so he could have a little space 69 to swim, and water to drink. He had to keep moving so that his tiny70 bit of water wouldn’t freeze over.

71 At last the ugly duckling was too tired to swim any more. He fell 72 asleep, and the ice surrounded him, freezing him through and 73 through.

74 Next morning, a farmer found the duckling.

75 He put the duckling inside his coat, and took him home to his wife.

76 He put the duckling inside his coat, and took him home to his wife.

77 The farmer’s wife kept the duckling warm, and he soon came back to78 life.

79 When the farmer’s children saw the duckling, they wanted to play with80 him. But they frightened the duckling, and he tried to run away from81 them.

82 He flew into the milk churn and then landed in the flour barrel. The 83 children laughed and shouted and tried to catch him. The terrified84 duckling ran away and hid.

85 All through the long, cold winter, the duckling hid in the reeds of a 86 swamp.

87 At last springtime came, and sunshine warmed his feathers.

88 The duckling spread his wings. How strong and powerful they were

89 now!

90 He flew high into the air, away from the swamp. After a while he 91 came to rest in a gently winding canal.

92 Three beautiful swans swam towards him.

93 “They are coming to chase me away,” the duckling thought.

94 But the swans said, “Welcome! Please come and join us.”

95 The duckling looked at his reflection in the water. To his surprise, he96 was no longer an ugly duckling. He had become a handsome swan!

97 As he joined the other swans, joy filled his heart. “I never knew I 98 could be so happy,” he thought, “when I was just an ugly duckling.”

The Ugly Duckling – Story Arc

Exposition(Where we are introduced to the characters and the setting)

The rising action(Where a problem is introduced)

The climax(The highest point of tension)

The falling action (Where the problem begins to be resolved and we move towards the conclusion of the story)

The resolution(Where everything is solved and loose ends are tied up)OR, alternatively,The cliff-hanger(A dramatic and exciting ending leaving the readers in suspense)

Lesson 3: Narrative hooks

Vocabulary – common noun, story/narrative arc, exposition, rising action, trigger, quest, surprise, critical choice, climax, falling action, resolution, cliff-hanger

Retention quiz: Abstract Nouns

1. What is an abstract noun?2. Identify the abstract nouns in the sentences below:

a. The night was shrouded in fear.

b. Kindness is something almost everyone appreciates.

c. The men exhibited immense strength.

d. As the sun dipped below the horizon, darkness came over the city.

e. It is my pleasure to welcome our guest.

f. Our friendship will last forever.

g. I’d like the freedom to travel the world.

h. Joe felt a nagging sense of doom.

i. When Sarah jumped into the lake to rescue a drowning cat, her bravery

astonished onlookers.

Narrative hooks

A narrative hook is a literary technique in the opening of a story that ‘hooks’ the reader’s attention so that he or she will keep on reading.

Narrative hooks can be established in a variety of different ways, some of which are listed below:

1. Hooking readers through curiosity – by beginning a narrative with a sentence or paragraph that makes the reader guess or question what is happening in the story. It is a hint at something more.

2. Hooking readers by starting with a critical moment – when a narrative begins in the middle olf things, it is called ‘in media res’. Not only does it give a reader a hint at what is to come, starting the narrative in the middle of something helps create tension and conflict.

3. Hooking readers by creating a visual for the reader – using the setting at the start of a narrative helps to place the readers in the scene, immersing them in the narrative from the start.

Task:

1. Look at these opening sentences to a range of novels. Explain how each of these sentences have attempted to hook the reader into the narrative.

a. ‘It was the day my grandmother exploded’ – Crow Road by Ian Banks.b. ‘Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.’ – The Stranger by

Albert Camus.c. ‘The clock struck 13’ – 1984 by George Orwell.d. ‘I know I’m not an ordinary ten-year-old kid’ – Wonder by RJ Palacio.e. ‘I write this sitting in the kitchen sink’ – I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smithf. ‘This is the story of Barnaby Brocket, and to understand Barnaby, first you

have to understand his parents; two people who were so afraid of anyone who was different that they did a terrible thing that would have the most appalling consequences for everyone they loved’ – The Terrible Thing that happened to Barnaby Brocket by John Boyne

‘Stormcatchers’ by Tim Bowler

Some novels go beyond the opening line to hook the reader in. They use the entire opening chapter to draw the reader in to the narrative. One novel that does this is ‘Stormcatchers’ by Tim Bowler. Read the extract from the opening chapter below.

1 The sound came again, cutting through the night: a sharp,2 metallic tap that carried even to the first floor of the house 3 where Sam lay sleeping. Ella stood over him and listened for4 it again but all she heard was rain spattering against the 5 window. There was a storm coming – a fine start to the 6 summer holidays – but that wasn’t the problem.

7 The problem was being alone in the house at ten o’clock at8 night looking after Sam. She wished now that Fin hadn’t 9 slipped out to see Billy but it was her own fault: she’d

10 insisted he go, telling him Mum and Dad would never know as11 long as he was back before they returned from the pub.

12 But that could be ages. Billy’s parents had gone with them,13 which meant Mum and Mrs Meade would be yakking non-14 stop and Mr Meade would be trying to talk Dad into buying a15 new car from his showroom or joining the Save-the-16 lighthouse project. They wouldn’t leave the pub before 17 eleven and Fin would take his time, especially as she’d 18 promised him she was all right.

19 But she wasn’t all right. She was terrified.

20 The sound came again, downstairs. She crept to the door. At 21 least she hadn’t undressed for bed. She’d been thinking of it22 but she was still in the jeans, T-shirt, and trainers she’d 23 slopped around in all day, and now she was glad of it. It 24 made her feel less vulnerable – though only a little.

25 She glanced at Sam. He looked so peaceful as he slept. She26 didn’t remember sleeping like that when she was three and 27 now, at thirteen, she hardly slept at all. She was scared of28 the dark, scared of the noises she heard in this ancient 29 house, and now, after Mr Fenner’s lecture in assembly about30 the need to be vigilant with strangers, she was even scared31 someone was stalking her round the village, thought she 32 knew that must be ridiculous.

33 Tap! The sound came again. She knew she ought to go34 down and investigate. Fin would. He might be small for 35 fifteen but he’d go straight down and look the thing in the 36 face. She made herself walk to the head of the stairs. Below37 her, the hall stretched away in eerie stillness. The lights were38 on but the house felt oppressive.

39 There’s nothing wrong, she told herself, and started to walk40 down the stairs. It’s just a storm coming. But it was no use.41 Polvellan was a house that had always frightened her even42 though she’d lived here all her life. It wasn’t just that it was43 such an old building. There was something else, something44 she didn’t understand; she felt uneasy here even when the45 others were around.

46 Tap! The sound snapped in the night again. She opened her47 mouth to call out and ask if anyone were there, then closed it 48 again. If somebody were in the house, the last thing she 49 should do was give herself away. She thought of Sam and50 wondered whether to go back and guard him.

51 No, check the downstairs room first. Make yourself do it. 52 Then go back to Sam.

53 She tiptoed to the foot of the stairs and looked about her. On 54 the wall nearby was the photograph of Dad at the opening of 55 his Newquay superstore. Next to it were the sketches he had56 made of the Pengrig lighthouse ten years ago before the cliff-57 falls made it an endangered building. She ran her eye 58 nervously over them, then scanned the hall as far as the front59 door.

60 Tap! She gave a start and looked to the left. The noise had 61 come from the sitting room. There was no doubt about it. 62 She stared at the door; it was ajar and the lights inside the 63 room were switched off. She reached for the telephone. 64 Ring Billy. Get him to send Fin home.

65 But she drew her hand back. She had to master this. She 66 had to check the noise out for herself. It was bound to be 67 something simple. She walked to the sitting room door and 68 gave it a push. It brushed over the carpet a few inches and 69 stopped. She stared through the gap, then took a deep 70 breath, pushed the door a little further, and craned her head71 round.

72 The old room looked dusky but reassuringly familiar. Behind73 the drawn curtains she could hear the rain lashing against74 the window; but at least there was no one here. She pushed75 the door fully open and switched on the light. The features76 of the room sprang into focus: the piano, the fireplace, the 77 armchairs, the sofa, the music stands with her flute beside it.78 She walked into the room.

79 Tap! She jumped. It was the window. Someone must be out80 there, hidden by the curtains. She hurried to the phone, 81 picked it up and started to dial 999; then put it down. This82 was stupid. The tap wasn’t regular. It might not be a person 83 at all; it might be something trivial. What would Dad say if she84 called the police out for nothing? She strode to the window,85 pulled back the curtain, and burst out laughing.

86 It was nothing after all. A chain from one of the hanging 87 baskets had broken loose and gusts were throwing it up at 88 the window so that every so often the metal ring at the end89 struck the glass. Tap! There is was again. She chuckled 90 and reached out to close the curtain; then froze in horror.

91 Reflected in the glass was a figure standing behind her in the 92 door.

Task:

Consider how Tim Bowler has successfully hooked the reader in to his narrative. How many methods has he used to ensure readers are engaged with his story?

One way in which Tim Another way in which Tim Another way in which Tim

Bowler has hooked the reader into his narrative is…

Bowler has hooked the reader into his narrative is…

Bowler has hooked the reader into his narrative is…

A final way in which Tim Bowler has hooked the reader into his narrative is…

The most successful method Tim Bowler uses to hook the reader in is ___________

__________________________________ because _________________________

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Lesson 4: Narrative hook

Vocabulary – abstract nouns, narrative hook, vigilant, oppressive

Retention quiz: Pronouns

1. What is a pronoun?2. Identify the pronouns in the sentences below:

a. “I’ve got a tattoo. Guess what it is?”“A giraffe?”“On my ankle?”“Okay, an elephant.”Beth touches me on my arm.

b. “No.” She laughs. “You can get that one when you’re older.”

c. She used to say she was sorry. I used to tell her it was okay, that it didn’t matter. Now we just look at each other than look away, pretending nothing’s happened.

d. She scratches the turtle dove so hard that I think it might come off. I shake my head at my sister.

e. Beth covers her tattoo, gets up and we stand side by side with the monitor beeping every thirty seconds beside us.

(Sentences taken from ‘The Bubble Boy’ by Stewart Foster)

Constructing a narrative hook

Last lesson we look at the ways in which Tim Bowler was able to hook readers into his novel ‘Stormcatchers’.

Recap question: What methods did Tim Bowler use to hook the reader in to the narrative?

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Now it’s your turn! Look at these pictures. Construct an opening paragraph or couple of paragraphs that attempt to hook the reader in to the rest of the narrative. Try to employ the range of techniques Tim Bowler did in his writing.

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Extra reading (taken from The Guardian):

Hook, line, and sinker: the best opening lines in children’s and young adult fiction

You only get one chance at a first impression, and never is this truer than with the opening lines of books. Ciara Murphy compiles some of her favourites, from The Catcher in the Rye to Twilight, and The Hobbit to Harry Potter

As the first thing you lay eyes upon when opening up a new book, the first line needs to be impactful, enticing, and enough to get us hooked. In an age where we have more books to choose from than ever before, what are the best examples of opening lines in children’s and young adult fiction that make sure we’re tempted to keep reading right from the first page?

It was a dark and stormy night.A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

A truly classic opening line, L’Engle presents us with what can be described (if we put our essay hats on for a minute here!) as ‘pathetic fallacy’, where the author uses a description of nature to hint at the tone of the novel or the emotions of a character. By beginning with this, L’Engle perfectly sets the scene for the remainder of this mysterious science-fiction novel in which Meg Murry must travel to a dark planet to free her father from the Black Thing.

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all

that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

Holden Caulfield is up there as one of the coolest teenage narrators in fiction. This sentence gives us a pretty good impression of Holden’s attitude – straight to the point and just dripping with razor-sharp irony.

Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling

If ever we needed confirmation that Mr and Mrs Dursley were, in fact, not normal at all, this line is it! But by emphasising so strongly the Dursleys’ pride in their supposed normality, Rowling also hints at the existence of other, perhaps more “abnormal” dimensions to reality, setting us up perfectly for a book filled with witches, wizards and dark forces that Muggles can barely dream of…

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

In just ten words, Tolkien’s opening line is so simple and yet leaves the reader with so many questions. What is a hobbit? Why does he live in a hole? And why is this particular hobbit so important that an entire novel is going to be centred on him?

It has been sixty-four years since the president and the Consortium identified love as a disease, and forty-three since the scientists perfected a cure.

Delirium by Lauren Oliver

I’m sure many of us can sympathise with the actions of the president and the Consortium in this respect – they don’t call it lovesick for no reason. But a cure? From the first line of her novel, Oliver welcomes us into a world very much unlike our own, with a unique twist on the dystopian theme, and promises us a love story quite unlike any we’ve ever read before.

I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Love it or hate it, Twilight has what I consider to be one of the best opening lines in YA fiction. We’re immediately thrust into the action, with a whole backstory to catch up on and a heroine who (assuming she’s going to narrate the entire book) needs to execute an escape Houdini would be proud of. This is what I call a

hook.

I’ve watched through his eyes, I’ve listened through his ears, and I tell you he’s the one. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

Rarely do we start novels already rooting for a character from the very first sentence, but Orson Scott Card makes sure we do just that by immediately introducing us to ‘the one’. This line, uttered by an unnamed character, signals the importance of whoever ‘he’ is (spoiler: it’s Ender) – but how have they watched and listened through his eyes and ears…?

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.Voyage of the Dawn Treader by CS Lewis

For fans of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, it’s not hard to automatically want to read a book with CS Lewis’s name on the cover. But the opening line of Voyage of the Dawn Treader is particularly intriguing, partly due to the character’s name (how can you possibly like a character called Eustace Clarence Scrubb?), and partly because we’re left with an insatiable desire to find out what, exactly, it was that he ‘almost deserved’.

Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

A what? Is Percy Jackson secretly related to Severus Snape? Well, no, since Riordan published his novel two years before we were introduced to JK Rowling’s Half-Blood Prince, but the term ‘half-blood’ is enough to get anyone to want to read on to find out what it means. This line – opening a chapter entitled ‘I accidentally vaporise my pre-Algebra teacher’ – makes sure that Riordan hooks us right from the get-go.

Things had been getting a little better until I got a letter from my dead sister.Dead Girls Don’t Write Letters by Gail Giles

Mystery. Mayhem. Letters. If the title hadn’t already convinced you that Giles’ novel is sure to be a page-turner, the opening line certainly will: so dead girls don’t write letters, but yet here is one doing just that! Who wrote it? What did it say? What happened to Sunny’s sister? And why is this her laconic response: ‘That more or less ruined my day’.

Here is a small fact: You are going to die.” The Book Thief by Markus Zuzak

OK, full disclosure: this is not, in fact, an opening line, but one of the first few lines of the book, so I thought I would include it as a special bonus. We might all know this fact to be true, but that doesn’t make it any easier to read! And when we find out these words are spoken by Death himself, well – it’s immediately apparent that this book is going to be something completely unprecedented.

Question:

What is your favourite opening line to a novel and why?

Lesson 5: Cliff-hangers

Vocabulary – pronouns, narrative hook

Retention quiz: Adjectives

1. What is an adjective?2. Identify the adjectives in the sentences below:

a. The thing about their new life, in a leafy part of North London, was that

there wasn’t much to do if you didn’t have money.

b. The streets around his block of flats were lined with huge red-brick homes

owned by millionaires, who came and went in shiny 4x4s.

c. A swan had a ridiculously long neck and a chunky body, but it was

somehow more graceful than a duck or a goose or the other birds that hung

around the park.

d. At the end he made a head, white but with a black mask leading from the

eyes down the beak. As he only had yellow tissue paper, he darkened it,

with one of Mojo’s felt tips until it was a deep orange, like the beak that had

stabbed at the boy with the floppy blond hair.

(Sentences taken from ‘Swan Boy’ by Nikki Sheehan)

Cliffhangers

A cliff-hanger or a cliff-hanger ending is a plot device in fiction which features a main character in a precarious or difficult dilemma, or confronted with a shocking revelation. A cliff-hanger is hoped to ensure the audience will return to see how the characters resolve the dilemma.

During the 19th century cliff-hangers were common. Charles Dickens and other writers of the time would often publish their stories in serialised form so that they would appear in monthly episodes. Quite often, each episode would end with a cliff-hanger ending which kept the readers hooked and eager to buy the next edition of the journal in which the story appeared.

Here is one example of a cliff-hanger. In this extract from Charles Dickens’ famous novel Great Expectations, Pip, a poor boy who is the hero of the novel, becomes involved in a dangerous mystery. At the start, Pip, whilst running through a deserted, misty graveyard in desolate marshland, runs into a scary-looking, escaped prisoner who frightens the young boy into helping him. Chapter 2 of Great Expectations closes with Pip sneaking out of the house with a bundle which contains food and drink for the prisoner. As he leaves the house he has no idea about what will happen when he travels across the deserted marshes:

‘There was a door in the kitchen, communicating with the forge; I unlocked and unbolted the door, and got a file from among Joe’s tools. Then I put the fastenings as I had found them, opened the door at which I had entered when I ran home last night, shut it, and ran for the misty marshes.

Charles Dickens’ readers would have been impatient to know what would happen to Pip when he set out across the marshland.

Would the police be waiting for him and arrest him for assisting a prisoner? Would the prisoner grab the food, drink and file and kill Pip because he knew

too much? Would the prisoner kidnap Pip and use him to get a ransom?

Task:

Now have a look at the following examples of cliff-hangers. Identify the questions that these cliff-hangers raise for a reader which would either encourage them to read on (if the cliff-hanger comes at the end of a chapter or a book which is part of a series) or the answers to which they would have to consider for themselves.

Cliffhanger 1: ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ by JK Rowling

Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly, while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear –

He saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, and everything was gone.

How has the writer attempted to create an effective cliff-hanger to keep the reader

reading? ___________________________________________________________

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Cliffhanger 2: ‘The Hunger Games’ by Suzanne Collins

In fact, the next time he turns up, we’re pulling into District 12. He gives me a nod, his face expressionless.

I want to tell him that he’s not being fair. That we were strangers. That I did what it took to stay alive, to keep us both alive in the arena. That I can’t explain how things are with Gale because I don’t know myself. That it’s no good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’d just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after what we’ve just been through?

I also want to tell him how much I already miss him. But that wouldn’t be fair on my part.

So we just stand there silently, watching our grimy little station rise up around us. Through the window, I can see the platform’s thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching our homecominmg.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me.

I take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.

How has the writer attempted to create an effective cliff-hanger to keep the reader

reading? ___________________________________________________________

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Cliffhanger 3: ‘A Room with a View’ by E.. M Forster

Standing at its brink, like a swimmer who prepares, was the good man. But he was not the good man that she had expected, and he was alone.

George had turned at the sound of her arrival. For a moment he contemplated her, as one who had fallen out of heaven. He saw radiant joy in her face, he saw the flowers beat against her dress in blue waves. The bushes above them closed. He stepped quickly forward and kissed her.

Before she could speak, almost before she could feel, a voice called, ‘Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!’ The silence of life had been broken by Miss Bartlett, who stood brown against the view.

How has the writer attempted to create an effective cliff-hanger to keep the reader

reading? ___________________________________________________________

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Plenary question:

Different types of cliffhanger ending

James Scott Bell has created a list of eight different types of cliffhanger endings in his article entitled ‘Plot and Structure’. These are

Impending disaster Dangerous emotions Portent Mysterious dialogue Secret revealed Major decision / vow Announcement of a shattering event Reversal / surprise

Which of the above eight different types of cliff-hanger ending do you think the three extracts use?

Harry Potter: ________________________________________________________

The Hunger Games: __________________________________________________

A Room with a View: __________________________________________________

Challenge question:

How might the cliff-hanger endings have been different if a different ‘type’ of cliff-hanger was used?

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Lesson 6: Cliff-hanger

Vocabulary – adjective, cliff-hanger

Retention quiz: Comparative adjectives

1. What is a comparative adjective?2. Identify the comparative adjectives in the sentences below:

a. Down to the next floor, where his own room was, and Gretel’s room too, and the smaller bathroom which he was supposed to use more often than he really did.

b. No one needed Gretel much because she was a Hopeless Case – it would be a lot easier if she stayed to look after the house.

c. He heard her speaking loudly to him until Father spoke louder than Mother could and that put a stop to their conversation.

d. The door opened wider and Bruno stepped back as a figure appeared, but it wasn’t Father. It was a much younger man, and not as tall as Father either.

e. Gretel was three years older than Bruno.

(Sentences taken from ‘The Boy in Striped Pyjamas’ by John Boyne)

Extension:

In the extract from which the sentences above are taken, Bruno is considering his forced move to a new house. Below is a picture of two houses. Construct five sentences containing comparative adjectives to describe the houses below.

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2. _________________________________________________________________

3. _________________________________________________________________

4. _________________________________________________________________

5. _________________________________________________________________

Constructing a cliff-hanger

Last lesson we were exploring cliff-hangers and we ended the lesson by identifying that James Scott Bell has created a list of eight different types of cliff-hanger endings in his article entitled ‘Plot and Structure’. These are

Announcement of a shattering event

Dangerous emotions

Mysterious dialogue

Secret revealed

Impending disaster Major decision Reversal / surprise Portent

Task:

In pairs, choose one of the pictures on the next page. You are going to construct a cliff-hanger that is influenced by the picture you have chosen. However, I am going to tell you what type of cliff-hanger you must write from the list of eight above. Be prepared to share you writing.

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Plenary task:Now look at your cliff-hanger. How have you attempted to use your cliff-hanger to keep your reader reading?

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Lesson 7: Formative assessment: Interest and engage

Vocabulary – adjectives, comparative adjective, cliff-hanger, portent

Retention quiz: Superlative adjectives

1. What is a superlative adjective?

2. Identify the superlative adjectives in the sentences below:

a. The bannister was the best thing about this house – that and the fact

that Grandfather and Grandmother lived so close by.

b. When he closed his eyes, everything around him just felt empty and

cold, as if he was in the loneliest place in the world. The middle of

nowhere.

c. Bruno could feel something growing inside of him, something that when

it worked its way up from the lowest depths inside him to the outside

world would make him scream and shout.

d. Whenever he walked along the streets with Karl, Daniel and Martin,

people sometimes mistook him for the younger brother of one of them

when in fact he was the second oldest.

e. She was twelve years old and was considered to be one of the brightest

girls in her class.

(Sentences taken from ‘The Boy in Striped Pyjamas’ by John Boyne)

Extension:In the last two sentences, both Bruno and Gretel reference their friends. Below is a picture of a group of friends. Use the picture below to construct sentences containing superlative adjectives.

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Interest and engaging a reader

Key questions:

1. What do I think it means to interest a reader?___________________________________________________________________

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2. What does it mean to engage a reader?___________________________________________________________________

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So far we have looked at two different structural techniques: narrative hooks and cliff-hangers. One of these structural techniques can be used to interest a reader and one can be used to engage a reader. Which do you think is which?

Interest: ____________________________________________________________

Engage: ____________________________________________________________

At GCSE, on paper 2, there is a question that asks how structural devices have been used to interest and engage a reader. We are going to have a go at writing a typical GCSE answer in today’s lesson. To do this, we are going to apply a ‘structure’ to our response:

Technique What structural technique has been used to interest the reader?What structural technique has been used to engage the reader?

Example (supporting)

Can you identify an example of this technique?

Explanation What do you learn from this technique?

Effect How does this example effect the audience? Does it have an intended effect?

Below is an example of a TEEE paragraph, analysing how narrative hooks have been used to interest the reader.

A narrative hook has been used by Ian Banks in the book Crow Road to interest the

reader. This is evident through the line ‘It was the day my grandmother exploded’

which informs the reader that the narrator’s grandmother has blown up. The reader

would be hooked into the text because humans don’t often ‘explode’ and therefore

they would want to continue reading on to find out why the grandmother has

‘exploded’ and how.

Task:Using four different coloured pens or highlights can you identify the TEEE within my mentor text? Where have I mentioned the technique? What supporting example have I provided? Have I explained what I learn from the supporting example? Have I commented on the effect on the reader of the supporting example?

Task:

Now it’s your turn! Construct a TEEEE paragraph, explaining how the cliffhangers we have previously looked at have been used to engage the reader.

How have cliff-hangers been used to engage the reader?

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Lesson 8: Paragraphs

Vocabulary – adjective, comparative adjective, superlative adjective, interest, engage, technique, example, explanation, effect

Retention quiz: Verbs

1. What is a verb?2. Identify the verbs in the passage below:

Big Joe keeps pointing up at the swallow. Then without any warning he gets up and

walks to the back of the church where he opens the door. When he gets back he

explains to Mother what he’s done in his loud voice, and Grandma Wolf, sitting

beside us in her black bonnet, scowls at him, at all of us. I know then what I never

understood before, that she is ashamed to be one of us. I didn’t really understand

why until later, until I was older.

(Passage taken from ‘Private Peaceful’ by Michael Morpurgo)

Extension question:What impression is formed of Grandma Wolf through the verb choices the writer has made?___________________________________________________________________

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Paragraphs

A paragraph is a section of a piece of writing. It is made up of a group of closely related sentences that work together to present one single idea. Paragraphs usually begin with an indentation or start on a new line.

New paragraphs are started according to the rules of TiP ToP.

Task:

Read the following extract taken from Chapter 4 of ‘Wonder’. For paragraphs 2-5, identify why RJ Palacio has started a new paragraph.

1 I was really bummed when Christopher moved away three years2 ago. We were both around seven then. We used to spend3 hours playing with our Star Wars action figures and duelling 4 with our lightsabers. I miss that.

5 Last spring we drove over to Christopher’s house in Bridgeport.6 Me and Christopher were looking for snacks in the kitchen, and 7 I heard Mom talking to Lisa, Christopher’s mom, about my going8 to school in the fall. I had never ever, ever heard her mention9 school before.

10 “What are you talking about?” I said.

11 Mom looked surprised, like she hadn’t meant for me to hear that.

12 “You should tell him what you’ve been thinking, Isabel.” Dad 13 said. He was on the other side of the living room talking to 14 Christopher’s dad.

Paragraph 2

Paragraph 3

Paragraph 4

Paragraph 5

Task:

Read the following extract taken from Chapter 2 of ‘The Terrible Thing that happened to Barnaby Brocket’. For paragraphs 2-6, identify why John Boyne has started a new paragraph.

1 Captain W. E. Johns appeared, yawning, roused from sleep, and 2 looked at the family that kept him fed, watered and imprisoned 3 before following the direction of the children’s gaze until he too 4 saw Barnaby on the ceiling, at which point his tail began to wag5 fiercely and he started to bark.

6 “Bark!” he barked. “Bark! Bark! Bark!”

7 A little later – although not quite as soon as you might expect -8 Alistair climbed on a chair to retrieve his son, taking charge of 9 him now as Eleanor had retired to bed with a mug of hot milk

10 and a headache. Reluctantly, he gave Barnaby his bottle, then11 changed his nappy, placing a new one under the baby’s bottom12 just as Barnaby decided to go again, in a perfect golden arc in 13 the air. Finally he placed him in his basket, clipping the straps 14 from Henry’s rucksack across the top so he couldn’t float up;15 at last Barnaby went to sleep and probably dreamed of16 something funny.

17 “Melanie, keep an eye on your brother,” said Alistair, positioning18 his daughter in the seat next to him. “Henry, come with me 19 please.”

20 Father and son crossed the garden to their neighbour’s house21 and knocked on the front door.

22 “What do you need, Brocket?” asked grumpy old Mr Cody, 23 picking a flake of tobacco from between his front teeth and 24 flicking it to the ground beneath his feet.

Paragraph 2

Paragraph 3

Paragraph 4

Paragraph 5

Paragraph 6

Task:

Look at the following extract taken from Wonder. The paragraphs have not been put in. Can you identify where the paragraphs should go? (HINT: there should be 5 distinct paragraphs)

1 Vics had warned me about lunch in middle school, so I guess I should have

2 known it would be hard. I just hadn’t expected it to be this hard. Basically,

3 all the kids from all the fifth-grade classes poured into the cafeteria at the same

4 time, talking loudly and bumping into one another while they ran to different

5 tables. One of the lunchroom teachers said something about no seat

6 saving allowed, but I didn’t know what she meant and maybe no one else did,

7 either, because just about everybody was saving seats for their friends. I tried

8 to sit down at one table, but the kid in the next chair said, “Oh sorry, but

9 somebody else is sitting here.” So I moved to an empty table and just waited

10 for everyone to finish stampeding and the lunchroom teacher to tell us what to

11 do next. As she started telling us the cafeteria rules, I looked around to see

12 where Jack Will was sitting, but I didn’t see him on my side of the room. Kids

13 were still coming in as the teachers started calling the first few tables to get

14 their trays and stand on line at the counter. Julian, Henry, and Miles were

15 sitting at a table toward the back of the room. Mom had packed me a cheese

16 sandwich, Graham crackers, and a juice box, so I didn’t need to stand on line

17 when my table was called. Instead, I just concentrated on opening my

18 backpack, pulling out my lunch bag, and slowly opening the aluminium-foil

19 wrapping of my sandwich. I could tell I was being stared at without even

20 looking up. I knew that people were nudging each other, watching me out of

21 the corners of their eyes. I thought I was used to those kind of stares by now,

22 but I guess I wasn’t. There was one table of girls that I knew were whispering

23 about me because they were talking behind their hands. Their eyes and

24 whispers kept bouncing over to me.

Task:

Organise yourself into a group of four, giving each person in the group a number between 1 and 4. Watch the following clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0UClGdiWAQ taken from ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ by John Green. You are going to turn this clip into a descriptive piece of writing, with one person being responsible for one paragraph. However, each paragraph will have a different focus taken from TiPToP.

Person 1: Person

Person 2: Topic

Person 3: Place

Person 4: Time

You have five minutes to craft your paragraph. Remember your first line must have the focus above.

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Lesson 9: Discourse markers

Vocabulary – verbs, paragraph, time, place, topic, person

Retention quiz: Adverbs

1. What is an adverb?2. Identify the adverbs in the sentences below:

a. But my mouth was already watering just looking at that bowl.

What does the adverb in the sentence reveal about the character? ______________

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b. Maa tells me never to look too closely at the food.

What does the adverb in the sentence reveal about the character? ______________

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c. While he struggles with all the locks and holding on to that pool and his bag, the other Jackets smile and laugh and jingle their keys up and down on their chains, and not a single one helps with the locks so that Harvey can get in more quickly.

What does the adverb in the sentence reveal about the situation? ______________

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d. It looks at me and I feel my mouth go dry as before I had that drink from one of Harvey’s water bottles, and hot crawls up my body so I’m suddenly sweating all over.

What does the adverb in the sentence reveal about the character? ______________

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e. But her brain doesn’t listen. It rarely does.

What does the adverb in the sentence reveal about the character? ______________

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Paragraphs and discourse markers

A discourse marker are words and phrases used in speaking and writing to help structure discourse. They signpost the direction that a talk or the written word is going in.

We are now going to read a longer extract from ‘The Boy in Striped Pyjamas’ which has not used discourse markers.

1 Bruno had a pain in his stomach and he could feel something growing 2 inside him, something that when it worked its way up from the lowest3 depths inside him to the outside world would either make him shout and 4 scream that the whole thing was wrong and unfair and a big mistake for 5 which somebody would pay one of these days, or just make him burst into6 tears instead. Bruno couldn’t understand how this had all come about. 7 Bruno had been perfectly content, one day, playing at home, having three8 best friends for life, sliding down bannisters, trying to stand on his tiptoes to 9 see right across Berlin, and now he was stuck here in this cold, nasty

10 house with three whispering maids and a waiter who was both unhappy 11 and angry, where no one looked as if they could ever be cheerful again.

12 “Bruno, I want you to go upstairs and unpack and I want you to do it now,”13 said Mother in an unfriendly voice, and he knew that she meant business 14 to be turned round and marched away without another word. Bruno could 15 feel tears springing up behind his eyes but he was determined that he 16 wouldn’t allow them to appear.

17 Bruno went upstairs and turned slowly around in a full circle, hoping he

18 might find a small door or cubby hole where a decent amount of exploration19 could eventually be done, but there wasn’t one. Bruno’s floor had just four20 doors, two on either side, facing each other.

Task:

Re-draft the start of each paragraph and the starts of each sentence within the paragraphs so that they start in a variety of ways using a range of discourse markers to signpost and sequence the events.

Original sentence Re-drafted sentence using a discourse marker

Bruno had a pain in his stomach…

Bruno couldn’t understand how this had all come about…

Bruno had been perfectly content…

“Bruno, I want you to go upstairs…”’

Bruno could feel tears springing up…

Bruno went upstairs…

Bruno’s floor had just four doors…

Task:

Now look at the picture below once again. Construct one paragraph describing this scene. Ensure the paragraph begins with a discourse marker and that a number are used at the start of a number of sentences within the paragraph.

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Lesson 10: Cohesive devices

Vocabulary – paragraphs, discourse markers, connectives, adverbials

Retention quiz: Tense

1. What is tense?2. Identify the tense used in each of the sentences below:

What tense is used in each of the sentences below? How do you know?

My home town is a brilliant place.

I pushed him into the passageway.

We stood there, Riad looking down at his feet, bare and blue with cold in their mud-caked plastic flip-flops, and me trying not to listen to the voice of my conscience.If things go on like this, do you think I’m going to risk letting you go out to that school every day?He slowed down at last and I managed to catch up with him. I grabbed his shoulder to stop him running off again.

(Sentences taken from ‘Welcome to Nowhere’ by Elizabeth Laird)

Challenge question:

Why might a range of tenses in a fiction text be useful?

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Cohesive devices

‘When sentences, ideas and details fit together clearly, readers can follow along easily, and the writing is coherent.’ For a text to be coherent it must be clear and carefully structured in a way that ensures the ideas being presented are connected or linked. The methods writers use to link or connect their ideas and to make a text clear are called cohesive devices.

The following extract, taken from ‘Once’ by Morris Gleitzman uses a range of cohesive devices to connect his paragraphs so that his narrative builds.

1 You know how when a nun serves you very hot soup from a big metal2 pot and she makes you lean in close so she doesn’t drip and the steam3 from the pot makes your glasses go all misty and you can’t wipe them 4 because you’re holding your dinner bowl and the fog doesn’t clear even5 when you pray to God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Pope and Adolf 6 Hitler?

7 That’s happening to me.

8 Somehow I find my way towards my table. I use my ears for navigation.

9 Dodie who always sit next to me is a loud slurper because of his 10 crooked teeth. I hold my bowl above my head so other kids can’t pinch11 my soup while I’m fogged up and I use Dodie’s slurping noises to guide 12 me in.

13 I feel for the edge of the table and put my bowl down and wipe my 14 glasses.

15 That’s when I see the carrot.

16 It’s floating in my soup, huge among the flecks of cabbage and the tiny 17 blobs of pork fat and the few lonely lentils and the bits of grey plaster18 from the kitchen ceiling.

19 A whole carrot.

20 I can’t believe it. Three years and eight months I’ve been in this 21 orphanage and I haven’t had a whole carrot in my dinner bowl once.22 neither has anyone else. Even the nuns don’t get whole carrots, and 23 they get bigger servings than us kids because they need the extra 24 energy for being holy.

25 We can’t grow vegetables up here in the mountains. Not even if we

26 pray a lot. It’s because of the frosts. So if a whole carrot turns up in this27 place, first it gets admired, then it gets chopped into enough pieces so 28 that sixty-two kids, eleven nuns and one priest can all have a bit.

29 I stare at the carrot.

30 At this moment I’m probably the only kid in Poland with a whole carrot31 in his dinner bowl. For a few seconds I think it’s a miracle. Except it 32 can’t be because miracles only happened in ancient times and this is33 1942.

34 Then I realise what the carrot means and I have to sit down quick before35 my legs give way.

36 I can’t believe it.

37 At last. Thank you God, Jesus, Mary, the Pope and Adolf Hitler, I’ve 38 waited so long for this.

39 It’s a sign.

40 This carrot is a sign from Mum and Dad. They’ve sent my favourite41 vegetable to let me know their problems are finally over. To let me42 know that after three long years and eight long months things are finally43 improving for Jewish booksellers. To let me know they’re coming to 44 take me home.

You are now going to consider how the writer uses cohesive devices to link the ideas in the paragraphs below

The paragraphs that are linked How has the writer linked these paragraphs?Cohesive device 1

Line 5-6 ‘God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Pope and Adolf Hitler.’

Line 37 ‘God, Jesus, Mary, the Pope and Adolf Hitler.’

Cohesive device 2

Line 8 ‘I use my ears for navigation.’

Line 9 ‘Dodie who always sits next to me is a loud slurper because of his crooked teeth.’

Cohesive device 3

Lines 22-24 ‘Even the nuns don’t get whole carrots, and they get bigger servings than us kids because they need the extra energy for being holy.’Line 25 ‘We can’t grow vegetables up here in the mountains. Not even if we pray a lot.’

Cohesive device 4

Line 39 ‘It’s a sign.’

Line 40 ‘This carrot is a sign from Mum and Dad.’

Cohesive device 5

Line 7 ‘That’s happening to me.’Line 15 ‘That’s when I see the carrot.’Line 19 ‘A whole carrot.’Line 29 ‘I stare at the carrot.’Line 36 ‘I can’t believe it.’Line 39 ‘It’s a sign.’

Lesson 11: Formative assessment: Cohesive devices

Vocabulary – cohesive devices, coherent, echoing, exemplification, semantic field, parallel syntax

Retention quiz: Sensory language

1. What is sensory language?2. Identify the examples of sensory language in the sentences below:

We stood together, looking up at the new house – Father, Mama, Nanny Jane, Piglet and me. It was large and old, almost falling down in placed, with gently bulging walls and a steep, tiled roof that was etched with lichen. The sign on the gatepost read Hope House.

Sensory language: ___________________________________________________

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I clutched her tightly to my chest and walked around the side of my house, towards the long garden and the wilderness of woodland that lay beyond.

Sensory language: ___________________________________________________

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A tangle of overgrown pathways wound away into the darkness of the forest. I stopped and listened, but I could only hear the soft thrum of my own heartbeat and the whisper of Piglet’s breathing.

Sensory language: ___________________________________________________

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I stepped forward on to the nearest path, and then stopped. What if I get lost and can’t find my way back? I thought. What if the shadows of the forest swallow me up? The branches above shivered strangely, and then, quite suddenly, I could smell smoke.

Sensory language: ___________________________________________________

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I got to the final verse of The Owl and the Pussycat, her eyes were starting to close.

They dined on mince, and slices of quince,

Which they ate with a runcible spoon.

Sensory language: ___________________________________________________

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(Sentences taken from The Secret of Nightingale Wood’ by Lucy Strange).

Challenge task:

Formative assessment: Cohesive devices

Last lesson we were exploring how the author Morris Gleitzman linked his paragraphs together using a range of cohesive devices. In today’s lesson you are going to use what we learnt to answer the following question:

How has Morris Gleitzman used cohesive devices to produce a coherent opening to Once?

In order to answer this question you will need to use the TEEE structure:

Technique What cohesive device has been used to help make the opening coherent?

Example (supporting)

Can you identify an example of this technique?

Explanation What do you learn about the narrative from these lines?

Use the image to the left to construct 5 sentences that target each of the five senses: sight, smell, touch, taste and sound.

Effect How does the use of this cohesive device help make the text coherent?

Task:

Read through my exemplar response below. Identify the use of TEEE within this response.

The writer has used a semantic field to join his paragraphs together. This is evident in the

lines ‘Even the nuns don’t get whole carrots’, ‘they need the extra energy for being holy’ and

‘Not even if we pray a lot.’ This tells me that getting a carrot is really rare and really special.

The use of the semantic field of religion and the words ‘nun’, ‘holy’ and ‘pray’ help the

reader across the paragraphs to see where Felix is and how important a carrot is –

especially if the nuns don’t even receive one.

Now construct your own TEEE paragraph exploring the use of another cohesive

device:

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Lesson 12: Imaginative writing

Vocabulary – sensory language, cohesive devices, coherent, echoing, exemplification, semantic field, parallel syntax

Retention quiz: Similes

1. What is a simile?2. Identify the similes in the sentences below:

a. The wheel wells over each tire flare out like big, angry lips.

What comparison is being made? ________________________________________

Why is this comparison being made? _____________________________________

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b. The front end of the Cobra looks like a snake, with two headlights for eyes and a big mouth (the radiator hole) that could suck the pavement right up into it.

What comparison is being made? ________________________________________

Why is this comparison being made? _____________________________________

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c. As the girl was humiliated, her cheeks turned as red as an apple.

What comparison is being made? ________________________________________

Why is this comparison being made? _____________________________________

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(Sentences taken from ‘Firegirl’ by Tony Abbott)

Challenge task:

Read the extract below. Redraft two sentences so that they incorporate two similes.

It was the last week of September. The weather had been warm all the way from the start of school. St. Catherine’s has gray blazers, navy blue pants, white shirts,

and blue ties, and it was hot in our uniforms. I sweat most of those days, right through my shirt, making what some of the kids called stink spots under the arms.

We weren’t allowed to take off our blazers in school, even when it was hot, so mine always got stained from the sweat.

Simile 1: ___________________________________________________________

The intended effect for this simile is ______________________________________

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Simile 2: ___________________________________________________________

The intended effect for this simile is ______________________________________

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Imaginative writing

Over the past couple of lessons you have been exploring cohesive devices. So now let’s practise what you have learnt about structure so far!

Construct an imaginative piece of writing using this image as your stimulus. When writing demonstrate that you can use the following:

A narrative hook or a cliff-hanger 5 paragraphs including a one sentence paragraph The use of at least one discourse marker The use of cohesive devices to link your paragraphs

And bonus

Verbs for effect Ambitious adjectives (with the aid of a thesaurus)

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Lesson 13: Structuring a narrative

Vocabulary – cohesive devices, echoing, exemplification, semantic field, parallel syntax

Retention quiz: Metaphors

1. What is a metaphor?2. Identify the metaphors in the sentences below:

What is the effect of the comparison?

Her eyes were fireflies.

The promise between us was a delicate flower.

He pleaded for her forgiveness but Janet’s heart was cold iron.

She was just a trophy to Ricardo.

The computer in the classroom was an old dinosaur.

Dad is a monster in the morning until he has had his coffee.

Kathy arrived at the grocery store with an army of children.

Structuring a narrative (chronological)

Over the past couple of lessons we have been exploring paragraphing and how writers use a range of devices to link their paragraphs together. In today’s lesson we are going to look at the range of narrative structures available to a writer.

Task:

Writers can structure their narratives in at least 6 different ways. These are listed below. However, they have been mixed up. Can you match the structural device with its correct definition?

1. Chronological a. A narrative in which the plot is revealed in reverse order.

2. Reverse chronological

b. A structural / literary device in which a scene in a narrative is shown that is set in time earlier than the main story.

3. Flash back (Analepsis)

c. A narrative technique in which events are portrayed in a way that does not follow the norm e.g. out of chronological order, the use of parallel plot lines, dream immersions, narrating another story inside the main plot-line

4. Flash forward (Prolepsis)

d. A narrative told in time order from beginning to end.

5. A non-linear narrative

e. A structural / literary device in which a scene or event from the future appears in a narrative out of chronological order.

Task:

You are now going to explore examples of each of the narrative structures identified above. You are going to do this as a group. One person from each group should read the chosen extract to the rest and then, as a group, you should identify how employs a particular narrative structure / device.

Extract 1: The Terrible Thing that happened to Barnaby Brocket

This is the story of Barnaby Brocket, and to understand Barnaby, first you have to understand his parents; two people who were so afraid of anyone who was different that they did a terrible thing that would have the most appalling consequences for everyone they loved.

We begin with Barnaby’s father, Alistair, who considered himself to be a completely normal man. He led a normal life in a normal house, lived in a normal neighbourhood where he did normal things in a normal way. His wife was normal, as were his two children.

Extract 2: Slumdog Millionaire by Vikas Swarup

I have been arrested. For winning a quiz show.

They came for me late last night, when even the stray dogs had gone off to sleep. They broke open my door, handcuffed me and marched me off to the waiting jeep with a flashing red light.

There was no hue and cry. Not one resident stirred from his hut. Only the old owl on the tamarind tree hooted at my arrest…

…There are those who will say that I brought this upon myself. By dabbling in that quiz show. They will wag a finger at me and remind me of what the elders in Dharavi say about never crossing the dividing line that separates the rich from the poor. After all, what business did a penniless waiter have to be participating in a brain quiz? The brain is not an organ we are authorized to use. We are supposed to use only our hands and legs.

Extract 3: Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo

They’ve gone now, and I’m alone at last. I have the whole night ahead of me, and I won’t waste a single moment of it. I shan’t sleep it away. I won’t dream it away either. I mustn’t because every moment of it will be far too previous.

I want to try to remember everything just as it was, just as it happened. I’ve had nearly eighteen years of yesterdays and tomorrows, and tonights I must remember as many of them as I can. I want tonight to be long, as long as my life, not filled with fleeting dreams that rush me on towards dawn.

Tonight, more than any other night of my life, I want to feel alive.

***

Charlie is taking me by the hand, leading me because he knows I don’t want to go. I’ve never worn a collar before and it’s choking me. My boots are strange and heavy on my feet. My heart is heavy too, because I dread what I am going to. Charlie has told me often how terrible this school-place is: about Mr Munnings and his raging tempers and the long whipping cane he hangs on the wall above his desk.

Big Joe doesn’t have to go to school and I don’t think that’s fair at all. He’s much older than me. He’s even older than Charlie and he’s never been to school. He stays at home with Mother, and sits up in his tree singing Oranges and Lemons, and laughing. Big Joe is always happy, always laughing. I wish I could be happy like him. I wish I could be at home like him. I don’t want to go with Charlie. I don’t want to go to school.

Extract 4: A Christmas Carol by Charles DickensThe Phantom slowly, gravely, silently approached. When it came, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery.

It was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been

difficult to detach its figure from the night, and separate it from the darkness by which it was surrounded.

He felt that it was tall and stately when it came beside him, and that its mysterious presence filled him with a solemn dread. He knew no more, for the Spirit neither spoke nor moved.

"I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?" said Scrooge.

The Spirit answered not, but pointed downward with its hand.

"You are about to show me shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us," Scrooge pursued. "Is that so, Spirit?"

The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. That was the only answer he received.

Although well used to ghostly company by this time, Scrooge feared the silent shape so much that his legs trembled beneath him, and he found that he could hardly stand when he prepared to follow it. The Spirit pauses a moment, as observing his condition, and giving him time to recover.

But Scrooge was all the worse for this. It thrilled him with a vague uncertain horror, to know that behind the dusky shroud there were ghostly eyes intently fixed upon him, while he, though he stretched his own to the utmost, could see nothing but a spectral hand and one great heap of black.

"Ghost of the Future!" he exclaimed, "I fear you more than any spectre I have seen. But as I know your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be another man from what I was, I am prepared to bear you company, and do it with a thankful heart. Will you not speak to me?"

It gave him no reply. The hand was pointed straight before them.

"Lead on," said Scrooge. "Lead on. The night is waning fast, and it is precious time to me, I know. Lead on, Spirit."

Extract 5: Stone Cold by Robert Swindells

You can call me Link. It’s not my name, but it’s what I say when anybody asks, which isn’t often. I’m invisible, see? One of the invisible people. Right now I’m sitting in a doorway watching the passers-by. They avoid looking at me. They’re afraid I want something they’ve got and they’re right. Also, they don’t want to think about me. They don’t like reminding I exist. Me, and those like me. We’re living proof that everything’s not all right and we make the place untidy.

Hang about and I’ll tell you the story of my fascinating life.

Daily Routines Orders 1

Shelter. Yes. I like it. It’s got a ring to it as I’m sure you’ll agree. Shelter, as in shelter from the stormy blast. It’s what they’re all seeking. The street people. What they crave. If they can only find shelter everything will be fine. Well – get fell in, my lucky lads. I’m ready for you.

Extract 1: The Terrible Thing that Happened to Barnaby Brocket by John Boyne

How would a reader know that the narrative is told using a chronological structure?

Extract 2:Slumdog Millionaire by Vikas Swarup

How would a reader know that the narrative is told using reverse chronology?

Extract 3: Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo

How would a reader know that the structural device of a flashback has been employed?

Extract 4:A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

How would a reader know that the structural device of a flash-forward has been employed?

Extract 5:Stone Cold by Robert Swindells

How would a reader know that the narrative is an example of a disrupted narrative?

Plenary question:

Which method of organising a narrative do you prefer and why?

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Lesson 14: Structuring a narrative

Vocabulary: chronological, reverse chronological, flashback, flash-forward, non-linear narrative

Retention quiz: Personification

1. What is personification?2. Identify the personification in the sentences below:

What is being personified?What is the effect of this personification?

The stars danced playfully in the moonlight sky.

The run down house appeared depressed.

The first rays of morning tiptoes through the meadow.

She did not realize that opportunity was knocking at her door.The wind howled its mighty objection.

The river swallowed the earth as the water continued to rise higher and higher.Time flew and before we knew it, it was time for me to go home.

Structuring a narrative

Last lesson we were exploring the different approaches to structuring a narrative beyond the narrative arc or story pyramid. These were chronologically, using a reverse chronological structure, embedding flashbacks or flash-forwards and creating a non-linear narrative.

Task:

As a group, consider the image on the this page. If you were to construct a narrative for this picture, what would you do? Discuss your ideas for each narrative approach and log them in the chart below.

Chronological structure Reverse chronological structure

Flashback Flash-forward Non-linear narrative

Now, in pairs, choose a narrative approach and construct a paragraph (or two) that opens the narrative you have imagined. Consider how you can signpost the narrative approach you have chosen.

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Lesson 15: Narrative point of view

Vocabulary: metaphor, chronological, reverse chronological, flashback, flash-forward, non-linear narrative

Retention quiz: Alliteration

1. What is alliteration?Identify the examples of alliteration in the passages below:

a. The fox tore his eyes away and stared at his master. John’s ship,

Dragonfly, was fast but she had nothing in the way of firepower. The silver

airship, by contrast, bristled with weapons. Sharp metal spikes stuck out

from her hull, making her look like some sort of militarized porcupine.

b. The silver airship shrunk away, but within seconds she’d swung around to

follow. She began closing in once more: her propellors chopping through

the clouds, throwing dark shadows across their stern. When the two

airships broke into a patch of blue, she fired.

c. Malkin let out a bark of alarm as a stench of burning gas filled the flight

deck and the needles in the rows of instrument panels flickered into red

danger zones. Over the whine of their stalling engines, the crackle of

straining steel cables could be heard.

Challenge question:

What effect does the use of alliteration have on the pace and the tone of a piece of

writing?

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Narrative point of view

The narrative point of view is the perspective through which a story is communicated.

The following information and activities are taken from: http://www.ereadingworksheets.com/point-of-view/

First person – usually the protagonist (the main character) who is telling the events in the story ‘first hand’. Uses ‘I’ or ‘me’, ‘my’, ‘our’, ‘us’, ‘myself’ and ‘ourselves’.

Third person – the narrator tells the story of another person or group of people. The narrator may be far removed from or not involved in the story, or he or she may be a supporting character. Use of ‘he’, ‘she’, ‘them’, ‘they’, ‘him’, ‘her’, ‘his’, ‘their’. There are three forms of the third person:

Third-person Objective – the narrator tells a third-person’s story (he, she, him, her) but the narrator only describes characters’ behaviour and dialogue. The narrator does not reveal any character’s thoughts or feelings.

Third-person limited – narrator’s perspective is limited to the internal workings of one character. The narrator reveals the thoughts and feelings of one character through explicit narration.

Third-person omniscient – the narrator grants readers the most access to characters’ thoughts and feelings. The narration will reveal more than one characters’ internal workings. The base word ‘omni’ means all and ‘scient’ means knowing so omniscient translates to all knowing.

Task:

Read the following extracts and identify the narrative perspective. Explain how you were able to identify the point of view.

1. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. MontgomeryMarilla’s lips twitched understandingly. She had expected Mrs. Rachel to say this; she had known that the sight of Matthew jaunting off so unaccountably would be too much for her neighbor’s curiosity. If Marilla had said that Matthew had gone to Bright River to meet a kangaroo from Australia Mrs. Rachel could not

have been more astonished. She was actually quiet for five seconds. It was unsupposable that Marilla was making fun of her, but Mrs. Rachel was almost forced to suppose it.

Narrative perspective: ______________________________________________

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? ________________

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2. Alice’s adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, John TennielAlice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “without pictures or conversations?” So she was considering, in her own mind whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

Narrative Perspective: ______________________________________________

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is a third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? ______________

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3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper LeeWe lived on the main residential street in town – Atticus, Jem and I, plus Calpurnia our cook. Jem and I found our father satisfactory: he played with us, read to us, and treated us with courteous detachment…Our mother died when I was two, so I never felt her absence. She was a Graham from Montgomery; Atticus met her when he was first elected to the state legislature.

Narrative Perspective: ______________________________________________

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? _______________

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4. White Fang by Jack LondonThey spoke no more until camp was made. Henry was bending over and adding ice to the bubbling pot of beans when he was startled by the sound of a sharp snarling cry of pain from among the dogs. Henry grunted with a tone that was not sympathy, and for a quarter of an hour they sat on in silence, Henry staring at the fire, and Bill at the circle of eyes that burned in the darkness just beyond the firelight.

Narrative Perspective:

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? ________________________________________________________________________________

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5. Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers, Mary ShepardThey found themselves in bed and watching, by the dim light from the night-light, the rest of Mary Poppin’s unpacking being performed. From the carpet bag she took out seven flannel nightgowns, four cotton ones, a pair of boots, a set of dominoes, two bathing-caps and a postcard album. Jane and Michael sat hugging themselves and watching. It was all so surprising that they could find nothing to say. But they knew, both of them, that something strange and wonderful had happened at Number Seventeen, Cherry-Tree Lane.

Narrative Perspective: ______________________________________________

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is a third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? ______________

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6. The War of the Worlds by H.G. WellsWe crossed the road to a white house inside a walled garden, and found some food – two loaves of bread, and uncooked steak, and half of a ham. We also found several bottles of beer, a sack of beans, and a dozen or so cans of soup, salmon and vegetables. We sat in the kitchen in the dark – not daring to strike a light – and ate bread and ham and drank beer out of the same bottle. The priest wanted to keep going instead of resting and eating. I was urging him to eat and keep up his strength when, all of a sudden, disaster struck!

Narrative Perspective: ______________________________________________

How do you know? _________________________________________________

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If it is a third-person, which character’s thoughts are revealed? ______________

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Plenary question:

What do you think the benefits are for writers or readers to use

a. The first personb. The third person

Benefits of using this narrative perspectiveThe first person

The third person

Lesson 16: Narrative point of view

Vocabulary – personification, first person, third person limited, third person objective, third-person omniscient

Retention: Sensory language, simile, metaphor, personification and alliteration

Look at the image below. Construct examples of the above literary techniques that you could use to help you construct a descriptive piece of writing which uses this picture as a stimulus.

Exploring narrative point of view

Last lesson we were exploring different narrative perspectives and we are going to use these to create a descriptive piece. You are going to be asked to complete a descriptive piece using one of the following perspectives:

First person: the soldier on the left First person: one of the women sat on the bench Third person limited Third person: the soldier Third person omniscient

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Plenary task:

Now, working with students who wrote using a different perspective, compare your descriptive pieces of writing. In the space below, reflect upon how the description varies according to the perspective that it is told from.

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