Hommes-femmes: mode d’emploi de

leur communication professionnelle

Alexandre Destro

S

Judgement

First Thing:

You can’t avoid Judging !

Fast Automatic Unconscious Lasting

Judgment process

The judgement is more based on non verbal communication than on content

Visual messages

(Face + Body) > Oral messages

(Speech: Content = Text, but also

the pitch)

87%

9,7 times

more used 9%

Non verbal messages

> Verbal messages (Content)

Visual Cortex activation

100-300 ms

Semantic

1 sentence

(6-30 sec)

6 to 30 times faster

Second Thing:

The judging process is widely

consensual

Third Thing:

Everyone adds their own defence

mechanisms in relatively stressful

situations

Defence mechanisms and gender differences

1. Facial expressions

Happiness 1.Contraction of the muscles that surround the eye

2.Raised cheeks

3.Contraction of the zygomatic muscles that open the mouth.

Sadness 1.Drooping upper eyelids

2. Out of focus eyes

3.Slight pulling down at the corners of the lips

Anger 1.Eyebrowns down and together

2.Eyes glaring

3.Narrowing of the lips

Fear 1.Eyebrows raised and pulled together

2.Tensed lower eyelids

3.Lips slightly stretched horizontally back to ears

S

Des méthodes de

mesures

scientifiques

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Janv

2007

Nicolas Sarkozy

Ségolène Royal

S © Leadercom

First Thing:

You can’t avoid

Judging !

Defence mechanisms: AGRESSIVITY

Defence mechanism: AGGRESSIVITY

WOMAN ‘S JUDMENT

MAN’S JUDMENT

Dominant Dominant

Arrogant Aggressive

Aggressive Incompetent

Untrustworthy

MAN AGGRESSIVE

WOMAN AGGRESSIVE

AGGRESSIVITY Gender differences

Defence mechanisms:

ANXIETY

Defence mechanism: ANXIETY + SUBMISSION

Defence mechanism: ANXIETY + SUBMISSION

Defence mechanism: ANXIETY

WOMAN ‘S

RESPONSE

MAN’S

RESPONSE

ANXIETY Gender differences

Empathy

Reassurance

Problem solving

Empathy or Irony

Stress

Aggressvity

MAN’S

ANXIETY

WOMAN’S

ANXIETY

Defence mechanism: CONTEMPT

Defence mechanism: CONTEMPT

Defence mechanism:

NEUTRALITY

Defence mechanism:

NEUTRALITY

Emotions de base: le cas de la

neutralité

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Defence mechanism:

DISCORDANCE

Defence mechanism:

DISCORDANCE

Defence mechanism:

DISCORDANCE

Defence mechanism:

DISCORDANCE

Defence mechanisms and gender differences

2. The Voice

Defence mechanisms and gender differences

3. The Gesture

Gestures

Defences mechanisms gestures Emblems gestures Stereotypy gestures Lies gestures

Positives gestures Illustrate gestures Reassurance gestures Opening gesture Dominance

Emblems gestures:

Gesture: The HANDS

Positives gestures: Illustrative gestures

Positives gestures: Illustrative gestures

Positives gestures: Illustrative gestures

Positives gestures: Opening

Components of Leadership/Charisma

Behaviours Attributions People’s Feelings

Attributions

Self-Assurance

Dominance

Self-Confidence

Authority

CREDIBILITY

(Competence)

Empathy Proximity

SINCERITY

(Trustworthiness)

Sociability

Joyfulness

Attractiveness

Optimism

POPULARITY

(Love)

Confidence

Respect

Admiration

Confidence

Responsiveness

Confidence

Sympathy

Happiness

How to improve one’s leadership? A few tips…

Evaluation Grid:

Social judgment

Aggressive x x x x x Dominant

Anxious x x x x x Self-confident

Distant x x x x x Sociable

Indifferent x x x x x Empathy

Sad x x x x x Jovial

Use story-telling to unlock your non verbal communication:

Don’t be afraid to verbalize your emotions:

Replace aggressivity by authority and dominance

Positives gestures: Dominance

Positives gestures: Dominance

Main Components of Charisma

Dynamism (body) and Expressiveness

Expressive gestures (positive feelings + illustrators)

Expressive face (positive emotions)

Expressive voice and vocal tempo

Concordant Nonverbal messages

Face and Gestures

Face and Voice

Voice and Gestures

Face + Voice + Gestures and Body Postures

Concordant Verbal and Nonverbal messages

Optimal speech rate and pauses

Emotional and Factual content (Text, Speech)

Adapt your communication to the contexts

Conclusion

When we want to convince, sell, or reassuring it’s our nonverbal communication that

makes the difference

We can trust our first impressions because they are often correct

The judging process is widely consensual

Each of us has specific defence mechanisms that reduce our performance.

Our discordant messages trigger the most negative judgments both for men and

women.

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