homefront: identity vol. 3 iss. 3

7/31/2019 HomeFront: Identity Vol. 3 Iss. 3

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/homefront-identity-vol-3-iss-3 1/18

I l l u s t r a t i o n b y A n n e B e r r y

M O N T H L Y

A FAMILY RESOURCE

identity

ENVIRONMEN

I belong to God, and He loves me!

VOL. 3, ISSUE 3

F A M I L Y F O O D T I M E

G A M E T I M E

P R A Y E R

B L E S S I N G

S T O R Y T E L L I N G



© 2011 David C. Cook. TruResources are developed in partnership with ROCK HARBOR Churchand a national network o amily and children’s ministry leaders. All rights reserved.

2

Howto

Use this Resource

Editor’s NoteFor years I’ve had this quote sitting on my desk at work.Merton’s words remind me I want to be identied byJesus. I want Jesus’ lie and love to compel me to beall He created me to be. I know a deeper and truer liewaits or me to acknowledge it—a lie in an identitybased on the One who gave His lie or mine.

I recognize our identities aren’t just made up oour strengths and virtues; they’re also made up oour shortcomings and weaknesses, experiencesand wrong turns. At times I’ve searched or guidanceeverywhere except rom God—pastors, teachers,parents—all with great intentions that sometimesderail me rom listening rom a deeper place.

Helping our children embrace who God is andwho they are in Him is one o the most importantroles we have as parents. This issue o HomeFrontMonthly is lled with ideas and activities we hope willbe a springboard or these important conversationsto begin.

DEBBIE GUINN | EDITOR

the Tru Team | Costa Mesa, CA

It’s as easy as 1 … 2 … 3 …

1 Start by deciding on a day and time that

works well or your entire amily. It can be anevening, aternoon, or morning. Just commit

to building this time into your amily’s natural rhythm.It’s usually best to build this time around a meal!

2 Look through the HomeFront Monthly andsee what stands out. Choose one or twoexperiences you would like to incorporate

into your amily times this week. Don’t eel burdenedto complete all the activities at once, but careully

select which ones will t your amily best. Each issueprovides more than enough experiences to last youthroughout the month.

3

Remember to HAVE FUN! Strive to

make each gathering unique to your ownamily as you enjoy spending time with Godand each other.

“If you want to identify me,

ask me not where I live, orwhat I like to eat, or how Icomb my hair, but ask mewhat I am living for, in detail;ask me what I think is keepingme from living fully for thething I want to live for.” —Tomas Merton



© 2011 David C. Cook. All rights reserved.

3

ENVIRONMENT

IDENTITYThis environment highlights who we are in Christ. In Ephesians 1, we

read that we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given aninheritance in Christ. This conviction allows children to stand rm againstthe counter-identities the world will oer to bring them destruction.

Culture is constantly eeding our amilies the lie oalse identities. School, riends, TV, magazines, music,and so much more are continually telling our childrenthat who they are is not good enough, that they needto be someone dierent. As we attempt to spirituallyraise our amilies and redeem what the world has

taken, it is essential to be rooted in God’s truth.

We have to arm the Christlikeness we see in ourchildren as they strive to stand rm against counter-identities. In a world that nds identity in shallow andfeeting things, the truth o our identity in Christ is theonly thing that can oer true meaning and purpose.

VERSE OF THE MONTH

Memorizing Scripture can be an incrediblepractice to engage in as a amily. But words in ando themselves will not necessarily transorm us;it is God’s Spirit in these words that transorms.

We come to know God more when we are willingto open our hearts and receive His Holy Spiritthrough the words we memorize. Have un withthese verses and think o creative ways to inviteyour amily to open up to God as they committhese verses to memory.

“Tereore, since we have been

justifed through aith, we have

peace with God through our

Lord Jesus Christ.”

Romans 5:1

“God chose us to belong to

Christ [Jesus] beore the world

was created.”

Ephesians 1:4 (NIrV)

MICHELLE ANTHONY

FAMILY MINISTRY ARCHITECT

the Tru Team | Costa Mesa, CA

ELEMENTARY

PRES/KINDER




4

b y T o r i F u n k h o u s e r

FAMILY FOOD TIMERecipeEvery home with children is lled with ngerprints. This month, play a gameo “Detective” with your amily by encouraging each amily member to nd

and identiy ngerprints around your home.Once you’ve discovered a ngerprint, solve the mystery by having your amily members turn over their handsand look at their ngerprints under a bright light or a magniying glass. Ask them to notice the swirls, dips, andturns on their ngertips. How are they dierent rom or similar to others’ ngerprints? Remind your children that

God gave a unique ngerprint to every person He created!

This month, share your unique identity with this un thumbprint cookie recipe. While you create the cookies,give each person a job. For older kids, have them measure out the ingredients. For younger kids, help them mixthe ingredients. Brainstorm together what toppings you want to roll your cookie in. Allow each amily memberto choose dierent toppings to add to the uniqueness o his cookie.

Tumbprint Cookies ( Makes 2 dozen)

Prep Time: 15 min. Cook Time:12–15 min.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. 2. Combine the butter and sugar and blend in mixer on

high speed or about three minutes or until fuy.

3. Separate the eggs and add the egg yolks andvanilla extract to the butter and sugar mixture. Addthe four and salt, mixing until just blended.

4. Chill the dough in the rerigerator or 30 minutes.

Roll the dough into 1" balls, then roll in youravorite topping.

5. Place the cookie balls on parchment-lined cookiesheets, 2" apart. Next, make an impression in the

center o each cookie with your thumb.

6. Bake or 12–15 minutes or until slightly rm.

Let the cookies cool or a ew minutes on thecookie sheet beore moving them to a wire rackto nish cooling.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup butter, softened to room temperature • ½ cup sugar • 2 eggs yolks

• 1 tsp. vanilla extract • 2 cups our • pinch of salt • toppings (to roll cookies in): powdered sugar, brown

sugar, granulated sugar, sprinkles, chopped nuts, sesame seeds, coconut akes, mini chocolate chips, e tc.




5

b y J o e l S t a n t o n In our society, you are what you do. From a young

age, we are asked, “What do you want to be whenyou grow up?” I nd it so interesting that we phraseit this way—what do you want to be?

“WHAT SPECIALTALENT HAS GOD

GIVEN YOU?”

“IF YOU DIDN’THAVE THAT SPECIAL

TALENT, HOW DO YOUTHINK GOD WOULD

DESCRIBE YOU?”

It took years beore I was able to draw the distinction

between my passions and my identity. Admittedly,I still have a tough time with it. I only wish I couldhave understood the dierence rom a young age,

because my overall outlook on lie would have beendrastically transormed by this distinction.

It is important for our children to identify themselves, rst and foremost, as chosenchildren of the Most High God. All o their othertalents and blessings—despite being gits romGod—do not dene them as people.

This month, get your kids talking by asking them:

“What special talent has God given you?” Go around

the table and have everyone answer. Be sure to

answer yoursel, too. Then, to help demonstratethe dierence between their core identity and theways in which they are blessed, ask them: “I you

didn’t have that special talent, how do you think Godwould describe you?”

Give the Holy Spirit space to work in your children,and ght the urge to tell them they are God’s children.When the question comes back to you, however,begin to explain to them how you yoursel are a childo God, and allow the conversation to fow naturally

rom there as the Holy Spirit guides the way.

Conversation

Starters




7

STORYTELLINGIdentity AwakenedExcerpt rom Spiritual Parenting: An Awakening for Today’s Families by Michelle Anthony.

At 16, my daughter had a strong desire to stay home alone overnight. Shewanted to brave it out and build the condence needed to make her owndinner, lock down the house, take care o the pets, and victoriously awakewith the house still standing. It elt like a challenge to her.O course we had our reservations, but when anovernight retreat, not ar away, arose … we decided togive her a chance at it. She had her driver’s license i

there was an emergency, we had riends nearby, andmy son was at a sleepover. We told her she could inviteover her two best riends, lock the doors, and watchmovies. Sounded like a good plan, right? Wrong!

The next morning we received a phone call romour daughter wondering when we would be cominghome. Hmmmmm. This was our independent daughter.

Certainly she wasn’t missing us. With that cue, my husband headed straight to the house. What hefound was more than we could have imagined. The remains o what must have been the party o thecentury led a trail rom our ront yard to the ront door.Inside were three girls shaking with ear and regret.

The trash, the stench, the glares rom neighbors—allpainted a picture o what had transpired in the 12 hoursbeore my husband’s arrival. The girls began to cry.

The tale unolded: Three teenage girls had simplyinvited a ew riends, who invited a ew riends, whoinvited a ew riends … and so on. As the list grew,so did the lack o morality. By the time the house was

ull (and then some), my daughter didn’t recognize buta ew o the aces. It had gotten so ar out o controlthat she was scared. Just then there was a knock at thedoor—a riendly visit rom the local police department …

My husband called me on my way home toprepare me, and so I asked him to put my daughteron the phone. She cried, “I’m sorry, Mommy,” a

thousand times. I prayed as she lamented on the

other end. I really wanted to be a spiritual parentin this. I didn’t want to simply punish her (althoughI had some great ones fowing through my mind).I wanted to redeem this moment or her ultimategood. Ater all, isn’t that how God parents us?

The rst (and only) thing that came to my mindwas that my daughter had orgotten who she was.

“Certainly she must not be aware o her true identity,

or she would have made better decisions,” I thought.So I told her that I wanted her to write an essay. Iwanted her to entitle it “A 16-year-old ChristianGirl.” I told her to describe what that person lookedlike according to God’s standards and His Word. Ididn’t want to preach at her—I was curious what she

thought that person looked like.

As I drove home I considered resigning rommy position at the church—and as a mother. I wasdiscouraged. What business did I have talking aboutparenting when clearly I had not instilled an identity oChrist in my own child? I elt like a ailure.

When I walked into the house, I was greeted by thestark reality o all that had taken place in our absence.We assessed the damage and the stolen property. Wepieced together what had happened and how it hadspun out o control. We talked to neighbors. We prayedor wisdom. Then I walked upstairs to my daughter’sroom, and taped to the door, I ound [her essay].

b y M i c h e l l e A n t h o n y

“ The rst (andonly) thing thatcame to my

mind was thatmy daughterhad forgottenwho she was.”




8

I was overwhelmed. I had no idea that all o thethings my husband and I had written on my daughter’sheart, or so many years, had actually taken root. Sheknew them. She desired them. She understooddeep spiritual truths that only God could

have revealed to her. She could deneher identity ater all.

She had made a mistake—abig one—and many more wouldollow. But ultimately, sheknew who she was createdto be and the God who hadcreated her—and this wasquite different from whatI had envisioned during my drive home. Obviously therewould be course correction andnatural consequences, but my heart

was lled with joy, because I knew that thework o knowing her identity was deep in her heart. Ishe knew who she was but was not acting on it, thenshe had simply forgotten.

We all suer rom orgotten identity at times. Iknow I have! It’s a case o spiritual amnesia, and itseects can be debilitating. I knew this was a critical

time in her lie, and so I continued to ask God whatI needed to do next. He was the only one

who knew how to parent this child inthis situation. What I did next may

seem strange, but I knew almostinstantly that I needed to do it.

As we gave my daughter herlist o consequences, we alsotold her to pack her bags. No,we were not sending her awayto live with her long-lost aunt

(but I coness that I did linger long

enough so that she had to considerwhat might happen next!). Rather, I

was taking her on a trip to the mountains.What? To most onlookers this appeared to bea reward, not a consequence. But I knew that she hadorgotten who she was and that she needed to spendsome time with me. Just the two o us. I prayed Godwould help her remember by being alone with me away

rom the distractions o her lie.

We swam, we sat on surboards on the lake andtalked or hours, we shopped, I read to her, weate breakast by the lake—and slowly, I saw “mydaughter” emerge again. She was beginning toremember. We came home, and she was rereshed

and stronger. She began the next school year with agrowing sense o awakened identity that continuesto be shaped until this day …

God helped me to be a spiritual parent that day.I’m not smart enough to come up with something likethat! I didn’t know what was deepest inside o herthat needed to be healed … or what needed to bedone to heal it. Taking away her cell phone orher car can feel like good consequences, but inthis case, God wanted to teach her somethingabout Himself. She commented that now whenshe ails, she doesn’t eel the need to hide or run

rom God. She knows that she can draw close toHim so that she can remember who she is—simplyby spending time with Him.

Storytelling Continued …

“ Sh e b e g a n t

h e

n e x t s ch o ol y e a r

w i th a g r o w i n g

s e n s e

o f a w ak e n e d i d e

n t i t y

th a t c o n t i n u e s t

o b e

sh a p e d u n t il th i

s

d a y.”




9

CREATEHe Is … So I AmAs Christians, our identity is no longer rooted in what we are, but ratherwho we are as Christ-ollowers made in His image. This month, read Psalm

145 to rediscover who God is as you encourage your children to establishtheir identity in Him.

b y L a u r e n F r a n c i s

Have each member of the family make a list of all the ways she can describe God. For example,some words could be “loving, holy, mighty, healer” or“holy, Savior, King, Father.” Don’t worry i some o thewords are repeated; just take time to contemplatethe words that describe God’s identity. Then makea second list o things that describe our identity in

light o who God is. Some words could be “restored,orgiven, healed, redeemed.”

Once each amily member nishes, gather all thelists and visit www.wordle.net, a un website that letsyou generate “word clouds” using text you provide.(The “clouds” give greater prominence to words thatappear more requently. You can tweak your clouds

with dierent onts, layouts, and color schemes.)

When you’re nished making your wordclouds, print them and display them in yourhome. You can even rame them side by side,and label the rame “He Is … So I Am.” Every time

your amily looks at these word clouds, they’ll bereminded o who God is and, in turn, who they areas His children!

(Note: I you don’t have access to the Internet,

eel ree to create your own “word clouds” usingpaper, pens, markers, or other art supplies. Makesure the words that are repeated on each list aredisplayed more prominently.)

CREATE IS A TIME TO ENGAGE YOUR FAMILY IN A

COLLABORATIVE RESPONSE TO HEARING GOD’S TRUTH.

1. COMPUTER

2. PAPER AND PENS

3. TWO-PHOTO FRAMES(OPTIONAL)

Directions: Supplies:




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b y M a t t B a r n e s

GOD’S WORD A New Identity Figuring out who we are seems like a lielong journey. In act, there arewhole industries dedicated to helping people gure out who they are and

what they’ve been created to do.

Next time you’re at your local bookstore, check outthe size o the “sel-help” section! The great thing is,

as Christ ollowers, we don’t have to spend our liveswrestling with the question o who we are. Jesusoers us an identity ar greater than anything wecould imagine or ourselves.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes,“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Paul is saying that when wemeet Jesus, He oers us a new identity that deneseverything about us. It reocuses us. It transormsus. It makes us a “new creation.”

Many Christians have heard this, but they may

not live in the reality o it. The world can easilyoverwhelm us with alse identities we’re tempted toembrace. Fortunately, God’s Word provides abundantreminders o who we are in Him and encourages usin our new identity.

When Jesus told Paul on the road to Damascus that hewould suer or Jesus’ name, Paul had no idea at thetime what that might actually entail. In 2 Corinthians11, we nd out some o what that ultimately meant

Jesus offers usan identity far

greater thananything wecould imaginefor ourselves.

as Paul gives an extensive listo all the things he endured orthe sake o Christ: beatings,shipwrecks, bandits, hunger,and thirst, to name a ew. But

in chapter 12, Paul lets it beknown he didn’t highlight thesethings to boast, but to showhis weakness. He couldn’thave persevered through

these things on his own.He understood he neededto surrender completely toand depend upon God.

Paul is a great exampleo someone who used hisgits, abilities, and talents ina humble manner to urtherGod’s kingdom. He relied onGod to get him through every

trial in His lie. His lie was an incredible testament

to the transorming and empowering Spirit o God.

God entrusted Paul with much. Because o this,Paul let a powerul legacy that points us to theknowledge that our Lord is a God who gives Hispeople the responsibility to show others who He isand the strength to ollow through with the task.

“

”




1

God’s Word Continued …

DO IT

As a amily, let each person take turns sharingthings that dene him, either in his own eyes orin the eyes o his peers—“brother/sister,” “soccer

player,” “artist,” etc. These can be positive thingsor things they struggle with. As each person

shares bits of who she is, write the words ona page. When you’re done, you should have asingle page with words describing the memberso your amily.

Look at the words on the page, and talk aboutthe act that these words don’t dene who we are

when we know Christ. Some o them may explainwhat we do (“soccer player”) or relationships wehave (“brother/sister”), but they don’t describewho we are. Similarly, some o them may explain

our insecurities or struggles, but these also don’tdene us.

Read Ephesians 1:3–14 again with yourfamily. This time, have each amily member makea list o the words or ideas Paul says dene ouridentity in Christ. Look or words and ideas suchas “chosen,” “redeemed,” “adopted,” “orgiven,” etc.Be sure to talk about what each o these wordsmean to you.

Take a black marker, and, over the rst set o

words, write words and ideas about your identity in

Christ that you ound in Ephesians 1. Claim yournew identities as chosen children of God by praying together and thanking God for allthe ways He has redened you and made youinto new creations.

Ephesians1:3–14 isfull of words

and ideasthat help us

understandwho we are as

Christians.

HEAR IT

One o the clearest pictures o who we are in Christcan be ound in the rst chapter o Ephesians.

Read Ephesians 1:3–14 together as a family.

This passage is ull o big words kids may not beamiliar with, so it might be helpul to tell your kidsto stop you i you say a word they don’t understand.Take the time to explain any words or concepts thataren’t clear to them.

Ater you’ve read through the passage once, talkabout how it’s so ull o words and ideas that help usunderstand who we are as Christians.




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b y K i t R a e

WORSHIPChosen Child of GodGod loves us, and we are His. He created each o us in His own image or aunique purpose. This great truth can inspire us to respond in worship. Oneo the many ways we’ve worshipped God over the course o human historyis through music.

Psalm 13:6 reads, “I will sing to the Lord, or he has been good to me.” And Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us, “[Thereis] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Have you ever considered singingand dancing together as a amily? This month, check out the options in this issue or ways to engage youramily in this orm o worship.

Child of GodVERSE

I am a (I am a)I am a (I am a)

I am a chosen child of GodI am a (I am a)I am a (I am a)

I am a chosen child of GodCHORUS

I can danceI can clap

I can sit down, stand up, spin aroundI can laugh

BRIDGE

I can sit downStand up

Spin aroundEverybody laugh now!

For Younger ChildrenGrab your Songs from the Playhouse TruWorship

CD or visit iTunes and download the song “Child

o God.” This song has been specically writtenin the environment o IDENTITY with thisphrase in mind: “We are His, and He loves us!”

Start by asking your kids or ways theycan worship God. Listen as they share, and

encourage all answers. Talk about all o theirexciting and creative answers. Tell them you have

a song that lists many dierent ways we can worshipGod. Read the lyrics together, and, as a amily, decideon hand motions or dance moves to help expressdierent parts o the song. Once you’ve picked yourmovements, gather in an open space in your home

and start the song.

Turn It Up Loud! Encourage your children to sing along with themusic, and, as a amily, act out the lyrics o the songaccording to what you planned. Enjoy worshipping

God together as a amily. Optional: As your kids

begin to engage by singing, clapping, and dancing

beore the Lord, consider recording a video o this

moment. This beautiul time o worship can serve as in

incredible keepsake and be a un way to document your

HomeFront nights over the years.

“We are His,and He

loves us!”




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For Older ChildrenGrab your Radio the World TruWorshipCD or visit iTunes and download the

song “Found.” This song has beenspecically written in the environmento IDENTITY with this phrase in mind,“We are His, and He loves us!”

Beore you play the song, read theselyrics a ew times together as a amily. Allow thewords to sink in, taking time to refect on eachpiece o the song. Then listen to it together.

Ater you hear the song, ask, “Is there a word orphrase that seemed to stand out to you most? Whydo you think that word or phrase came to mind?”

Close your time together by praying or eachmember o your amily in light o what she just

shared. Pray she will experience what it means tobe known by God or ollow God more closely.

Allow this time o worship with your olderchildren to be a sae place where they can shareopenly and receive prayer, no matter the stage otheir relationship with God.

Worship Continued …

FoundThis is worth my life

This is worth my days

This is worth a priceI could never pay

So I run to YouLeaving all behindWholly in pursuit

Of what now is mineCHORUS

To be found in YouTo be known as Yours

This is all I wantIt's all I'm living for

VERSE 2

Now an heir to this And to nothing less

Than Your kingdom comeThan Your righteousness

BRIDGE

All I want is You All I want is You

All I want is YouIt's You I'm living for

All we need is You All we need is You All we need is You

It's You we're living for.

WORSHIP IS A RESPONSE

TO GOD’S GOODNESS AND

HOLINESS. WE OFTEN THINK

OF WORSHIP AS SINGING, BUTWE CAN WORSHIP GOD IN MANY

DIFFERENT WAYS: PRAYER,

SILENCE, ART, DANCE, GIVING,

SHARING, AND THANKSGIVING —JUST TO NAME A FEW. MAKE

PLANS FOR YOUR FAMILYWORSHIP TIME, BUT PREPARE

YOURSELF TO HOLD THESE PLANSLOOSELY IF THE HOLY SPIRIT

LEADS YOU IN A DIFFERENT

DIRECTION.




14

TRADITIONSDear Son, Dear DaughterAs parents, we see our children orming identities at a very early age.The best part is having a ront-row seat as their uniqueness unolds. Theextroverted inant might be the class comedian at his school one day. Abudding musician could be the next Yo-Yo Ma. The star athlete in highschool may be on his way to becoming a legendary NFL quarterback.

b y J e n n i f e r C h o S a l a f f

Who our children become in terms o what they“do” is important, especially to the world. But whatabout their true identity—the identity that comes

rom knowing who they are in Christ? As sons anddaughters o the most high King, our children havebeen chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and givenan inheritance in Christ. It’s easy to orget this (evenor us parents) when the world points our kids in theopposite direction.

This month, consider starting a new traditionto help you speak Christ’s identity into yourchildren’s lives. Find a way to keep a record ohow you see each child’s true identity unolding. Forexample, you could start a journal, create an emailaccount, or write short notes and keep them in ashoebox. On these notes, written rom parent to child,you can share the act that they’re invited to be a parto God’s grand narrative o lie, love, and redemption.

Write as oten as you’d like. Make the entries short

or long (some might be just a sentence, others anessay). Refect on a Scripture verse, write aboutsomething memorable that happened that daybetween you and your children, record milestones, orwrite down prayers and blessings.

This can be something your children will beable to refer to later in life, when they hit an“identity” crisis. It can be something to remindyour kids to stand rm against the destructivecounter-identities the world will oer.

I you’re setting up an email account oryour child, remember to copy yoursel and/

or print out a copy, just in case something happens to

your computer or the email account.

I you’re starting a journal or keepsake box, in additionto writing to your child, you could keep memorable items(such as a pressed fower, a program rom a Christmasplay, your child’s drawings, etc.).

A TRADITION IS THE HANDINGDOWN OF STATEMENTS,BELIEFS, LEGENDS, ORCUSTOMS FROM GENERATIONTO GENERATION. WHAT

TRADITIONS ARE IN PLACEFOR YOUR FAMILY? WHAT

WOULD YOU LIKE TO

PASS DOWN TO THE NEXT

GENERATION? IT IS ALWAYSFUN TO CREATE NEWTRADITIONS WITH EACHGENERATION.

Tips:




15

When we’re with God, we discover our true identity. And prayer is aprimary way o being with God. It’s a two-way street, but sometimes we

make it one-way. We run into God’s throne room and fing our requestsat the King o Kings, barely pausing to acknowledge Him.

PRAYERBe Still and Know b

y J a n e t L e e

Be still, and know that I am God.

Be still, and know that I am.

Be still, and know.

Be still.

Be.We enter God’s presence with our heads and hearts

ull o the noise o the world. That makes it hard or us toengage with Him in an authentic way and to hear romHim about who He’s created us to be. It’s importantto still our hearts before God (and to teach ourchildren to do the same), acknowledge who Heis, and remember who we are.

Here is a simple exercise to help you with that.Psalm 46:10 reads, “Be still, and know that I am God.”As you begin prayer time with your amily, sit quietly

or a minute beore starting to pray. Choose aamily member to lead the prayer, and slowlyrepeat this verse out loud together. Say eachphrase several times beore moving on to thenext. Let the truth o those words sink into yoursoul. Let God be God, and you can discover yourtrue sel in His presence.




16

MARRIAGEIdentity CrisisA well-meaning riend once told me to go out on a date with my husbandbut not talk about the kids. I remember thinking that would be dicult since

my lie was consumed with the children. And, o course, discussing theirwell-being came naturally to me and my husband. But looking back, I canalso understand that my riend wanted me to have an identity as a wie, not just a mother.

Now I nd mysel refecting back on the years oparenting my children into adulthood. So oten mychildren took priority over my marriage becauseo sheer urgency. Now, 23 years later, it’s just myhusband and me. We’re about to embark on the nextpart o our journey together.

Many marriages go through an “identity crisis” during the child-raising years. A husband and wie start o in love. They wantto build a lie together and share their loveby creating a amily. Soon, the demandso schedules, nances, workload, and thepressures o child rearing rob a couple

o simpler times once spent in lovingconversation and embrace. Questionssuch as “Who are we?” and “Who have webecome?” are normal in the context o marriagewhile raising a amily. Then add complexities such as

blended amilies, chronic illness, or loss o a job—

andthese things can only add to the identity crisis.

If we dene ourselves by our outwardcircumstances, whether positive or negative,we risk not seeing our marriage as the unionGod intended it to be. No matter how much I enjoybeing a mother to my children, whether that’s in their joys and successes, or dealing with dicult behaviorsor illnesses, motherhood does not dene me in theway that my union with my husband does.

While society may reduce marriage to a contractor a tax benet, God upholds our union togetheras a vow beore Him that refects His love andcommitment to us. Jesus described Himsel as ourbridegroom, and we are His bride. His promise tous is sealed in the git o His Holy Spirit as a downpayment that He will return one day and bring usinto a relationship with Him orever.

My identity is secure in knowing I am more than whattoday oers—whether that’s as a mother o a strong-willed three year old or grown children. My marriage to

my husband and my uture union with my Savior both

give me strength to rest in His love in every circumstance.

This month, I encourage you to go on a datewith your spouse. I also encourage you to talk aboutyour children and pray together or them. Finish yourevening by talking about your marriage: Where is it? How

is it ullling? What areas need some attention? Considerwhat lie will look like when the kids are gone one day.Then consider what lie will look like when you are with

Jesus in eternity—in your ultimate marriage union!


Da te Y o u r S p o u se




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BLESSINGDon’t Mess with Me


HomeFront Weekly: Don’t forget to grab your HomeFront Weekly: A resource to getparents and kids talking about God’s Word together.

A BLESSING CAN

BE A PRAYER OF

COMMISSION, A BIBLE

PASSAGE, OR WORDS

OF ENCOURAGEMEN.

BLESSINGS CAN

ALSO BE SPOKEN

OVER CHILDREN FOR

HE PURPOSE OF

DECLARING GOD’S

PROECION, JOY, AND

WISDOM OVER HEM.

BLESS

This month, as you put your children to bed, hold their

hands in yours, palms up as i waiting to receive ablessing. Then read the ollowing statement over them:

“Your name is (your child’s name). You

are the chosen and adopted (daughter/

son) of the most high King. You are

heir to an eternal inheritance waiting

for you in heaven. You have been

bought and completely paid for by the perfect sacrice of Christ’s own blood

and are sealed throughout all eternity

by God’s Holy Spirit.”

Repeat this a second time. This time, have yourchildren say it with you, personalizing it with theirnames. Lead the blessing line by line. This time,encourage your kids to lit their arms and turn theirpalms acing outward toward the sky.

“My name is (insert child’s name). I

am the chosen and adopted (daughter/ son) of the most high King. I am heir

to an eternal inheritance waiting for

me in heaven. I have been bought and

completely paid for by the perfect

sacrice of Christ’s own blood, and I am

sealed throughout all eternity by God’s

Holy Spirit. Don’t mess with me!”



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What’s Happening in YourFAITH COMMUNITY?

homefront: identity vol. 3 iss. 3

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