heartbreak house by shaw george bernard 18561950

8/13/2019 Heartbreak House by Shaw George Bernard 18561950

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'here Heartbreak House Stands

Heartbreak House is not &erey the na&e of the "ay which foowsthis "reface 0t is cutured, eisured Euro"e before the war'hen the "ay was begun not a shot had been firedI and ony the"rofessiona di"o&atists and the $ery few a&ateurs whose hobbyis foreign "oicy e$en knew that the guns were oaded 2 -ussian"aywright, (cheko$, had "roduced four fascinating dra&aticstudies of Heartbreak House, of which three, (he !herry Crchard,nce anya, and (he Seagu, had been "erfor&ed in Engand(ostoy, in his +ruits of Enighten&ent, had shown us through itin his &ost ferociousy conte&"tuous &anner (ostoy did notwaste any sy&"athy on it@ it was to hi& the house in which Euro"ewas stifing its souI and he knew that our utter ener$ation andfutii8ation in that o$erheated drawingroo& at&os"here was

dei$ering the word o$er to the contro of ignorant and souesscunning and energy, with the frightfu conseDuences which ha$enow o$ertaken it (ostoy was no "essi&ist@ he was not dis"osedto ea$e the house standing if he coud bring it down about theears of its "retty and a&iabe $ou"tuariesI and he wieded the"ickaxe with a wi He treated the case of the in&ates as one ofo"iu& "oisoning, to be deat with by sei8ing the "atients roughyand exercising the& $ioenty unti they were broad awake(cheko$, &ore of a fataist, had no faith in these char&ing"eo"e extricating the&se$es (hey woud, he thought, be sod u"and sent adrift by the baiiffsI and he therefore had no scru"e


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in ex"oiting and e$en fattering their char&

(he 0nhabitants

(cheko$Ns "ays, being ess ucrati$e than swings androundabouts, got no further in Engand, where theatres are ony

ordinary co&&ercia affairs, than a cou"e of "erfor&ances by theStage Society 'e stared and said, THow -ussian%T (hey did notstrike &e in that way Just as 0bsenNs intensey 9orwegian "aysexacty fitted e$ery &idde and "rofessiona cass suburb inEuro"e, these intensey -ussian "ays fitted a the countryhouses in Euro"e in which the "easures of &usic, art,iterature, and the theatre had su""anted hunting, shooting,fishing, firting, eating, and drinking (he sa&e nice "eo"e,the sa&e utter futiity (he nice "eo"e coud readI so&e of the&coud writeI and they were the soe re"ositories of cuture whohad socia o""ortunities of contact with our "oiticians,ad&inistrators, and news"a"er "ro"rietors, or any chance ofsharing or infuencing their acti$ities But they shrank fro&

that contact (hey hated "oitics (hey did not wish to reai8eto"ia for the co&&on "eo"e@ they wished to reai8e theirfa$orite fictions and "oe&s in their own i$esI and, when theycoud, they i$ed without scru"e on inco&es which they didnothing to earn (he wo&en in their girhood &ade the&se$es ookike $ariety theatre stars, and setted down ater into the ty"esof beauty i&agined by the "re$ious generation of "ainters (heytook the ony "art of our society in which there was eisure forhigh cuture, and &ade it an econo&ic, "oitica andI as far as"racticabe, a &ora $acuu&I and as 9ature, abhorring the $acuu&,i&&ediatey fied it u" with sex and with a sorts of refined"easures, it was a $ery deightfu "ace at its best for &o&entsof reaxation 0n other &o&ents it was disastrous +or "ri&e

&inisters and their ike, it was a $eritabe !a"ua

Horseback Ha

But where were our front benchers to nest if not here (heaternati$e to Heartbreak House was Horseback Ha, consisting ofa "rison for horses with an annex for the adies and gente&enwho rode the&, hunted the&, taked about the&, bought the& andsod the&, and ga$e nine=tenths of their i$es to the&, di$idingthe other tenth between charity, churchgoing 5as a substitute forreigion, and conser$ati$e eectioneering 5as a substitute for

"oitics 0t is true that the two estabish&ents got &ixed atthe edges Exies fro& the ibrary, the &usic roo&, and the"icture gaery woud be found anguishing a&ong the stabes,&iseraby discontentedI and hardy horsewo&en who se"t at thefirst chord of Schu&ann were born, horriby &is"aced, into thegarden of AingsorI but so&eti&es one ca&e u"on horsebreakers andheartbreakers who coud &ake the best of both words 2s a rue,howe$er, the two were a"art and knew itte of one anotherI sothe "ri&e &inister fok had to choose between barbaris& and!a"ua 2nd of the two at&os"heres it is hard to say which was the&ore fata to states&anshi"


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-e$oution on the Shef

Heartbreak House was Duite fa&iiar with re$outionary ideas on"a"er 0t ai&ed at being ad$anced and freethinking, and hardye$er went to church or ke"t the Sabbath exce"t by a itte extrafun at weekends 'hen you s"ent a +riday to (uesday in it you

found on the shef in your bedroo& not ony the books of "oetsand no$eists, but of re$outionary bioogists and e$enecono&ists 'ithout at east a few "ays by &ysef and rGran$ie Barker, and a few stories by r H G 'es, r 2rnodBennett, and r John Gasworthy, the house woud ha$e been out ofthe &o$e&ent ou woud find Bake a&ong the "oets, and besidehi& Bergson, Buter, Scott Hadane, the "oe&s of eredith and(ho&as Hardy, and, generay s"eaking, a the iteraryi&"e&ents for for&ing the &ind of the "erfect &odern Sociaistand !reati$e E$outionist 0t was a curious ex"erience to s"endSunday in di""ing into these books, and the onday &orning toread in the daiy "a"er that the country had just been brought tothe $erge of anarchy because a new Ho&e Secretary or chief of

"oice without an idea in his head that his great=grand&other&ight not ha$e had to a"oogi8e for, had refused to Trecogni8eTso&e "owerfu (rade nion, just as a gondoa &ight refuse torecogni8e a >4,444=ton iner

0n short, "ower and cuture were in se"arate co&"art&ents (hebarbarians were not ony iteray in the sadde, but on thefront bench in the House of co&&ons, with nobody to correct theirincredibe ignorance of &odern thought and "oitica science butu"starts fro& the counting=house, who had s"ent their i$esfurnishing their "ockets instead of their &inds Both, howe$er,were "ractised in deaing with &oney and with &en, as far asacDuiring the one and ex"oiting the other wentI and athough

this is as undesirabe an ex"ertness as that of the &edie$arobber baron, it Duaifies &en to kee" an estate or a businessgoing in its od routine without necessariy understanding it,just as Bond Street trades&en and do&estic ser$ants kee"fashionabe society going without any instruction in socioogy

(he !herry Crchard

(he Heartbreak "eo"e neither coud nor woud do anything of thesort 'ith their heads as fu of the 2ntici"ations of r H G'es as the heads of our actua ruers were e&"ty e$en of the

antici"ations of Eras&us or Sir (ho&as ore, they refused thedrudgery of "oitics, and woud ha$e &ade a $ery "oor job of itif they had changed their &inds 9ot that they woud ha$e beenaowed to &edde anyhow, as ony through the accident of being ahereditary "eer can anyone in these days of otes for E$erybodyget into "aria&ent if handica""ed by a serious &odern cuturaeDui"&entI but if they had, their habit of i$ing in a $acuu&woud ha$e eft the& he"ess end ineffecti$e in "ubic affairsE$en in "ri$ate ife they were often he"ess wasters of theirinheritance, ike the "eo"e in (cheko$Ns !herry Crchard E$enthose who i$ed within their inco&es were reay ke"t going by


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(he 'icked Haf !entury

0t is difficut to say whether indifference and negect are worsethan fase doctrineI but Heartbreak House and Horseback Haunfortunatey suffered fro& both +or haf a century before the

war ci$ii8ation had been going to the de$i $ery "reci"itateyunder the infuence of a "seudo=science as disastrous as thebackest !a$inis& !a$inis& taught that as we are"redestinatey sa$ed or da&ned, nothing that we can do can aterour destiny Sti, as !a$inis& ga$e the indi$idua no cue asto whether he had drawn a ucky nu&ber or an unucky one, it efthi& a fairy strong interest in encouraging his ho"es ofsa$ation and aaying his fear of da&nation by beha$ing as oneof the eect &ight be ex"ected to beha$e rather than as one ofthe re"robate But in the &idde of the nineteenth centurynaturaists and "hysicists assured the word, in the na&e ofScience, that sa$ation and da&nation are a nonsense, and that"redestination is the centra truth of reigion, inas&uch as

hu&an beings are "roduced by their en$iron&ent, their sins andgood deeds being ony a series of che&ica and &echanicareactions o$er which they ha$e no contro Such fig&ents as &ind,choice, "ur"ose, conscience, wi, and so forth, are, theytaught, &ere iusions, "roduced because they are usefu in thecontinua strugge of the hu&an &achine to &aintain itsen$iron&ent in a fa$orabe condition, a "rocess incidentayin$o$ing the ruthess destruction or subjection of itsco&"etitors for the su""y 5assu&ed to be i&ited of subsistencea$aiabe 'e taught Prussia this reigionI and Prussia betteredour instruction so effecti$ey that we "resenty found ourse$esconfronted with the necessity of destroying Prussia to "re$entPrussia destroying us 2nd that has just ended in each destroying

the other to an extent doubtfuy re"arabe in our ti&e

0t &ay be asked how so i&becie and dangerous a creed e$er ca&eto be acce"ted by inteigent beings 0 wi answer that Duestion&ore fuy in &y next $ou&e of "ays, which wi be entireyde$oted to the subject +or the "resent 0 wi ony say thatthere were better reasons than the ob$ious one that such sha&science as this o"ened a scientific career to $ery stu"id &en,and a the other careers to sha&eess rascas, "ro$ided theywere industrious enough 0t is true that this &oti$e o"erated$ery "owerfuyI but when the new de"arture in scientificdoctrine which is associated with the na&e of the greatnaturaist !hares )arwin began, it was not ony a reaction

against a barbarous "seudo=e$angeica teeoogy intoerabyobstructi$e to a scientific "rogress, but was acco&"anied, asit ha""ened, by disco$eries of extraordinary interest in "hysics,che&istry, and that ifeess &ethod of e$oution which itsin$estigators caed 9atura Seection Howbeit, there was onyone resut "ossibe in the ethica s"here, and that was thebanish&ent of conscience fro& hu&an affairs, or, as Sa&ue Buter$ehe&enty "ut it, Tof &ind fro& the uni$erseT


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Hy"ochondria

9ow Heartbreak House, with Buter and Bergson and Scott Hadaneaongside Bake and the other &ajor "oets on its she$es 5to saynothing of 'agner and the tone "oets, was not so co&"eteybinded by the dotish &ateriais& of the aboratories as theuncutured word outside But being an ide house it was ahy"ochondriaca house, aways running after cures 0t woud sto"

eating &eat, not on $aid Sheeyan grounds, but in order to getrid of a bogey caed ric 2cidI and it woud actuay et you"u a its teeth out to exorcise another de&on na&ed Pyorrhea0t was su"erstitious, and addicted to tabe=ra""ing,&ateriai8ation seances, cair$oyance, "a&istry, crysta=ga8ingand the ike to such an extent that it &ay be doubted whethere$er before in the history of the word did soothsayers,astroogers, and unregistered thera"eutic s"eciaists of asorts fourish as they did during this haf century of the driftto the abyss (he registered doctors and surgeons were hard "utto it to co&"ete with the unregistered (hey were not ce$erenough to a""ea to the i&agination and sociabiity of theHeartbreakers by the arts of the actor, the orator, the "oet, the

winning con$ersationaist (hey had to fa back coarsey on theterror of infection and death (hey "rescribed inocuations ando"erations 'hate$er "art of a hu&an being coud be cut outwithout necessariy kiing hi& they cut outI and he often died5unnecessariy of course in conseDuence +ro& such trifes asu$uas and tonsis they went on to o$aries and a""endices untiat ast no oneNs inside was safe (hey ex"ained that the hu&anintestine was too ong, and that nothing coud &ake a chid of2da& heathy exce"t short circuiting the "yorus by cutting aength out of the ower intestine and fastening it directy tothe sto&ach 2s their &echanist theory taught the& that &edicinewas the business of the che&istNs aboratory, and surgery of thecar"enterNs sho", and aso that Science 5by which they &eant

their "ractices was so i&"ortant that no consideration for theinterests of any indi$idua creature, whether frog or"hioso"her, &uch ess the $ugar co&&on"aces of senti&entaethics, coud weigh for a &o&ent against the re&otest off=chanceof an addition to the body of scientific knowedge, they o"eratedand $i$isected and inocuated and ied on a stu"endous scae,ca&oring for and actuay acDuiring such ega "owers o$er thebodies of their feow=citi8ens as neither king, "o"e, nor"aria&ent dare e$er ha$e cai&ed (he 0nDuisition itsef was aibera institution co&"ared to the Genera edica !ounci

(hose who do not know how to i$e &ust &ake a erit of )ying

Heartbreak House was far too a8y and shaow to extricate itseffro& this "aace of e$i enchant&ent 0t rha"sodi8ed about o$eIbut it beie$ed in cruety 0t was afraid of the crue "eo"eIand it saw that cruety was at east effecti$e !ruety didthings that &ade &oney, whereas o$e did nothing but "ro$e thesoundness of arochefoucaudNs saying that $ery few "eo"e woudfa in o$e if they had ne$er read about it Heartbreak House,in short, did not know how to i$e, at which "oint a that waseft to it was the boast that at east it knew how to die@ a


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&eanchoy acco&"ish&ent which the outbreak of war "resentyga$e it "racticay uni&ited o""ortunities of dis"aying (huswere the firstborn of Heartbreak House s&ittenI and the young,the innocent, the ho"efu, ex"iated the foy and worthessnessof their eders

'ar )eiriu&

Cny those who ha$e i$ed through a first=rate war, not in thefied, but at ho&e, and ke"t their heads, can "ossiby understandthe bitterness of Shakes"eare and Swift, who both went throughthis ex"erience (he horror of Peer Gynt in the &adhouse, whenthe unatics, exated by iusions of s"endid taent and $isionsof a dawning &ienniu&, crowned hi& as their e&"eror, was ta&ein co&"arison 0 do not know whether anyone reay ke"t his headco&"etey exce"t those who had to kee" it because they had toconduct the war at first hand 0 shoud not ha$e ke"t &y own 5asfar as 0 did kee" it if 0 had not at once understood that as ascribe and s"eaker 0 too was under the &ost serious "ubicobigation to kee" &y gri" on reaitiesI but this did not sa$e &e

fro& a considerabe degree of hy"eraesthesia (here were ofcourse so&e ha""y "eo"e to who& the war &eant nothing@ a"oitica and genera &atters ying outside their itte circeof interest But the ordinary war=conscious ci$iian went &ad,the &ain sy&"to& being a con$iction that the whoe order ofnature had been re$ersed 2 foods, he fet, &ust now beaduterated 2 schoos &ust be cosed 9o ad$ertise&ents &ustbe sent to the news"a"ers, of which new editions &ust a""ear andbe bought u" e$ery ten &inutes (ra$eing &ust be sto""ed, or,that being i&"ossibe, greaty hindered 2 "retences about fineart and cuture and the ike &ust be fung off as an intoerabeaffectationI and the "icture gaeries and &useu&s and schoos atonce occu"ied by war workers (he British useu& itsef was sa$ed

ony by a hairNs breadth (he sincerity of a this, and of &uch&ore which woud not be beie$ed if 0 chroniced it, &ay beestabished by one concusi$e instance of the genera cra8inessen were sei8ed with the iusion that they coud win the war bygi$ing away &oney 2nd they not ony subscribed &iions to +undsof a sorts with no disco$erabe object, and to ridicuous$ountary organi8ations for doing what was "ainy the businessof the ci$i and &iitary authorities, but actuay handed out&oney to any thief in the street who had the "resence of &ind to"retend that he 5or she was TcoectingT it for the annihiationof the ene&y Swinders were e&bodened to take officesI abethe&se$es 2nti=Ene&y eaguesI and si&"y "ocket the &oney thatwas hea"ed on the& 2ttracti$ey dressed young wo&en found that

they had nothing to do but "arade the streets, coecting=box inhand, and i$e goriousy on the "rofits any &onths ea"sedbefore, as a first sign of returning sanity, the "oice swe"t an2nti=Ene&y secretary into "rison "our encourages es autres, andthe "assionate "enny coecting of the +ag )ays was broughtunder so&e sort of reguation

adness in !ourt


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(he de&orai8ation did not s"are the aw !ourts Sodiers wereacDuitted, e$en on fuy "ro$ed indict&ents for wifu &urder,unti at ast the judges and &agistrates had to announce thatwhat was caed the nwritten aw, which &eant si&"y that asodier coud do what he iked with i&"unity in ci$i ife, wasnot the aw of the and, and that a ictoria !ross did not carrywith it a "er"etua "enary indugence nfortunatey theinsanity of the juries and &agistrates did not aways &anifest

itsef in indugence 9o "erson unucky enough to be charged withany sort of conduct, howe$er reasonabe and sautary, that didnot s&ack of war deiriu&, had the sightest chance of acDuitta(here were in the country, too, a certain nu&ber of "eo"e whohad conscientious objections to war as cri&ina or unchristian(he 2ct of Paria&ent introducing !o&"usory iitary Ser$icethoughtessy exe&"ted these "ersons, &erey reDuiring the& to"ro$e the genuineness of their con$ictions (hose who did so were$ery i=ad$ised fro& the "oint of $iew of their own "ersonainterestI for they were "ersecuted with sa$age ogicaity ins"ite of the awI whist those who &ade no "retence of ha$ing anyobjection to war at a, and had not ony had &iitary trainingin CfficersN (raining !or"s, but had "rocai&ed on "ubic

occasions that they were "erfecty ready to engage in ci$i waron behaf of their "oitica o"inions, were aowed the benefitof the 2ct on the ground that they did not a""ro$e of this"articuar war +or the !hristians there was no &ercy 0n caseswhere the e$idence as to their being kied by i treat&ent wasso uneDui$oca that the $erdict woud certainy ha$e been one ofwifu &urder had the "rejudice of the coronerNs jury been on theother side, their tor&entors were gratuitousy decared to beba&eess (here was ony one $irtue, "ugnacity@ ony one $ice,"acifis& (hat is an essentia condition of warI but theGo$ern&ent had not the courage to egisate accordingyI and itsaw was set aside for ynch aw

(he ci&ax of ega awessness was reached in +rance (hegreatest Sociaist states&an in Euro"e, Jaures, was shot andkied by a gente&an who resented his efforts to a$ert the war !e&enceau was shot by another gente&an of ess "o"uaro"inions, and ha""iy ca&e off no worse than ha$ing to s"end a"recautionary cou"e of days in bed (he sayer of Jaures wasreckessy acDuitted@ the woud=be sayer of !e&enceau wascarefuy found guity (here is no reason to doubt that the sa&ething woud ha$e ha""ened in Engand if the war had begun with asuccessfu atte&"t to assassinate Aeir Hardie, and ended with anunsuccessfu one to assassinate r oyd George

(he ong 2r& of 'ar

(he "estience which is the usua acco&"ani&ent of war was caedinfuen8a 'hether it was reay a war "estience or not was &adedoubtfu by the fact that it did its worst in "aces re&ote fro&the battefieds, notaby on the west coast of 9orth 2&erica andin 0ndia But the &ora "estience, which was unDuestionaby awar "estience, re"roduced this "heno&enon Cne woud ha$esu""osed that the war fe$er woud ha$e raged &ost furiousy inthe countries actuay under fire, and that the others woud be


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&ore reasonabe Begiu& and +anders, where o$er arge districtsiteray not one stone was eft u"on another as the o""osedar&ies dro$e each other back and forward o$er it after terrific"rei&inary bo&bard&ents, &ight ha$e been "ardoned for reie$ingtheir feeings &ore e&"haticay than by shrugging theirshouders and saying, T!Nest a guerreT Engand, in$ioate forso &any centuries that the swoo" of war on her ho&esteads hadong ceased to be &ore credibe than a return of the +ood, coud

hardy be ex"ected to kee" her te&"er sweet when she knew at astwhat it was to hide in cears and underground raiway stations,or ie Duaking in bed, whist bo&bs crashed, houses cru&bed, andaircraft guns distributed shra"ne on friend and foe aike unticertain sho" windows in ondon, for&ery fu of fashionabehats, were fied with stee he&ets Sain and &utiated wo&enand chidren, and burnt and wrecked dweings, excuse a good deaof $ioent anguage, and "roduce a wrath on which &any suns godown before it is a""eased et it was in the nited States of2&erica where nobody se"t the worse for the war, that the warfe$er went beyond a sense and reason 0n Euro"ean !ourts therewas $indicti$e iegaity@ in 2&erican !ourts there was ra$ingunacy 0t is not for &e to chronice the extra$agances of an

2y@ et so&e candid 2&erican do that 0 can ony say that to ussitting in our gardens in Engand, with the guns in +rance &akingthe&se$es fet by a throb in the air as un&istakeabe as anaudibe sound, or with tightening hearts studying the "hases ofthe &oon in ondon in their bearing on the chances whether ourhouses woud be standing or ourse$es ai$e next &orning, thenews"a"er accounts of the sentences 2&erican !ourts were "assingon young girs and od &en aike for the ex"ression of o"inionswhich were being uttered a&id thundering a""ause before hugeaudiences in Engand, and the &ore "ri$ate records of the &ethodsby which the 2&erican 'ar oans were raised, were so a&a8ing thatthey "ut the guns and the "ossibiities of a raid cean out ofour heads for the &o&ent

(he -abid 'atchdogs of iberty

9ot content with these rancorous abuses of the existing aw, thewar &aniacs &ade a frantic rush to aboish a constitutionaguarantees of iberty and we=being (he ordinary aw wassu"erseded by 2cts under which news"a"ers were sei8ed and their"rinting &achinery destroyed by si&"e "oice raids a a -usse,and "ersons arrested and shot without any "retence of tria byjury or "ubicity of "rocedure or e$idence (hough it wasurgenty necessary that "roduction shoud be increased by the

&ost scientific organi8ation and econo&y of abor, and though nofact was better estabished than that excessi$e duration andintensity of toi reduces "roduction hea$iy instead ofincreasing it, the factory aws were sus"ended, and &en and wo&enreckessy o$er=worked unti the oss of their efficiency beca&etoo garing to be ignored -e&onstrances and warnings were &eteither with an accusation of "ro=Ger&anis& or the for&ua,T-e&e&ber that we are at war nowT 0 ha$e said that &en assu&edthat war had re$ersed the order of nature, and that a was ostuness we did the exact o""osite of e$erything we had foundnecessary and beneficia in "eace But the truth was worse than


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that (he war did not change &enNs &inds in any such i&"ossibeway 'hat reay ha""ened was that the i&"act of "hysica deathand destruction, the one reaity that e$ery foo can understand,tore off the &asks of education, art, science and reigion fro&our ignorance and barbaris&, and eft us gorying grotesDuey inthe icence suddeny accorded to our $iest "assions and &ostabject terrors E$er since (hucydides wrote his history, it hasbeen on record that when the ange of death sounds his tru&"et

the "retences of ci$ii8ation are bown fro& &enNs heads into the&ud ike hats in a gust of wind But when this scri"ture wasfufied a&ong us, the shock was not the ess a""aing becausea few students of Greek history were not sur"rised by it 0ndeedthese students threw the&se$es into the orgy as sha&eessy asthe iiterate (he !hristian "riest, joining in the war dancewithout e$en throwing off his cassock first, and the res"ectabeschoo go$ernor ex"eing the Ger&an "rofessor with insut andbodiy $ioence, and decaring that no Engish chid shoude$er again be taught the anguage of uther and Goethe, were ke"tin countenance by the &ost i&"udent re"udiations of e$ery decencyof ci$ii8ation and e$ery esson of "oitica ex"erience on the"art of the $ery "ersons who, as uni$ersity "rofessors,

historians, "hioso"hers, and &en of science, were the accreditedcustodians of cuture 0t was crudey natura, and "erha"snecessary for recruiting "ur"oses, that Ger&an &iitaris& andGer&an dynastic a&bition shoud be "ainted by journaists andrecruiters in back and red as Euro"ean dangers 5as in fact theyare, ea$ing it to be inferred that our own &iitaris& and ourown "oitica constitution are &ienniay de&ocratic 5whichthey certainy are notI but when it ca&e to franticdenunciations of Ger&an che&istry, Ger&an bioogy, Ger&an "oetry,Ger&an &usic, Ger&an iterature, Ger&an "hioso"hy, and e$enGer&an engineering, as &aignant abo&inations standing towardsBritish and +rench che&istry and so forth in the reation ofhea$en to he, it was cear that the utterers of such barbarous

ra$ings had ne$er reay understood or cared for the arts andsciences they "rofessed and were "rofaning, and were ony thea""aingy degenerate descendants of the &en of the se$enteenthand eighteenth centuries who, recogni8ing no nationa frontiersin the great rea& of the hu&an &ind, ke"t the Euro"ean co&ity ofthat rea& oftiy and e$en ostentatiousy abo$e the rancors ofthe batte=fied (earing the Garter fro& the AaiserNs eg,striking the Ger&an dukes fro& the ro of our "eerage, changingthe AingNs iustrious and historicay a""ro"riate surna&e 5forthe war was the od war of Gue"h against Ghibeine, with theAaiser as 2rch=Ghibeine to that of a traditioness ocaityCne fet that the figure of St George and the )ragon on ourcoinage shoud be re"aced by that of the sodier dri$ing his

s"ear through 2rchi&edes But by that ti&e there was no coinage@ony "a"er &oney in which ten shiings caed itsef a "ound asconfidenty as the "eo"e who were disgracing their countrycaed the&se$es "atriots

(he Sufferings of the Sane

(he &enta distress of i$ing a&id the obscene din of a thesecar&agnoes and corobberies was not the ony burden that ay on


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sane "eo"e during the war (here was aso the e&otiona strain,co&"icated by the offended econo&ic sense, "roduced by thecasuaty ists (he stu"id, the sefish, the narrow=&inded, thecaous and uni&aginati$e were s"ared a great dea TBood anddestruction sha be so in use that &others sha but s&ie whenthey behod their infantes Duartered by the hands of war,T was aShakes"earean "ro"hecy that $ery neary ca&e trueI for whenneary e$ery house had a saughtered son to &ourn, we shoud a

ha$e gone Duite out of our senses if we had taken our own and ourfriendNs berea$e&ents at their "eace $aue 0t beca&e necessaryto gi$e the& a fase $aueI to "rocai& the young ife worthiyand goriousy sacrificed to redee& the iberty of &ankind,instead of to ex"iate the heedessness and foy of theirfathers, and ex"iate it in $ain 'e had e$en to assu&e that the"arents and not the chidren had &ade the sacrifice, unti atast the co&ic "a"ers were dri$en to satiri8e fat od &en,sitting co&fortaby in cub chairs, and boasting of the sons theyhad Tgi$enT to their country

9o one grudged these anodynes to acute "ersona griefI but theyony e&bittered those who knew that the young &en were ha$ing

their teeth set on edge because their "arents had eaten sour"oitica gra"es (hen think of the young &en the&se$es% any ofthe& had no iusions about the "oicy that ed to the war@ theywent cear=sighted to a horriby re"ugnant duty en essentiaygente and essentiay wise, with reay $auabe work in hand,aid it down $ountariy and s"ent &onths for&ing fours in thebarrack yard, and stabbing sacks of straw in the "ubic eye, sothat they &ight go out to ki and &ai& &en as gente asthe&se$es (hese &en, who were "erha"s, as a cass, our &ostefficient sodiers 5+rederick Aeeing, for exa&"e, were notdu"ed for a &o&ent by the hy"ocritica &eodra&a that consoedand sti&uated the others (hey eft their creati$e work todrudge at destruction, exacty as they woud ha$e eft it to take

their turn at the "u&"s in a sinking shi" (hey did not, ikeso&e of the conscientious objectors, hod back because the shi"had been negected by its officers and scutted by its wreckers(he shi" had to be sa$ed, e$en if 9ewton had to ea$e hisfuxions and ichae 2ngeo his &arbes to sa$e itI so they threwaway the toos of their beneficent and ennobing trades, and tooku" the bood=stained bayonet and the &urderous bo&b, forcingthe&se$es to "er$ert their di$ine instinct for "erfect artisticexecution to the effecti$e handing of these diaboica things,and their econo&ic facuty for organi8ation to the contri$ing ofruin and saughter +or it ga$e an ironic edge to their tragedythat the $ery taents they were forced to "rostitute &ade the"rostitution not ony effecti$e, but e$en interestingI so that

so&e of the& were ra"idy "ro&oted, and found the&se$es actuaybeco&ing artists in wax, with a growing reish for it, ike9a"oeon and a the other scourges of &ankind, in s"ite ofthe&se$es +or &any of the& there was not e$en this consoation(hey Tstuck it,T and hated it, to the end

E$i in the (hrone of Good

(his distress of the gente was so acute that those who shared it


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in ci$i ife, without ha$ing to shed bood with their own hands,or witness destruction with their own eyes, hardy care toobtrude their own woes 9e$ertheess, e$en when sitting at ho&ein safety, it was not easy for those who had to write and s"eakabout the war to throw away their highest conscience, anddeiberatey work to a standard of ine$itabe e$i instead of tothe idea of ife &ore abundant 0 can answer for at east one"erson who found the change fro& the wisdo& of Jesus and St

+rancis to the &oras of -ichard 000 and the &adness of )onUuixote extre&ey irkso&e But that change had to be &adeI and weare a the worse for it, exce"t those for who& it was not reaya change at a, but ony a reief fro& hy"ocrisy

(hink, too, of those who, though they had neither to write nor tofight, and had no chidren of their own to ose, yet knew theinesti&abe oss to the word of four years of the ife of ageneration wasted on destruction Hardy one of the e"och=&akingworks of the hu&an &ind &ight not ha$e been aborted or destroyedby taking their authors away fro& their natura work for fourcritica years 9ot ony were Shakes"eares and Patos beingkied outrightI but &any of the best har$ests of the sur$i$ors

had to be sown in the barren soi of the trenches 2nd this wasno &ere British consideration (o the truy ci$ii8ed &an, to thegood Euro"ean, the saughter of the Ger&an youth was asdisastrous as the saughter of the Engish +oos exuted inTGer&an ossesT (hey were our osses as we 0&agine exutingin the death of Beetho$en because Bi Sykes deat hi& his deathbow%

Straining at the Gnat and swaowing the !a&e

But &ost "eo"e coud not co&"rehend these sorrows (here was a

fri$oous exutation in death for its own sake, which was atbotto& an inabiity to reai8e that the deaths were rea deathsand not stage ones 2gain and again, when an air raider dro""ed abo&b which tore a chid and its &other i&b fro& i&b, the "eo"ewho saw it, though they had been reading with great cheerfunessof thousands of such ha""enings day after day in theirnews"a"ers, suddeny burst into furious i&"recations on TtheHunsT as &urderers, and shrieked for sa$age and satisfying$engeance 2t such &o&ents it beca&e cear that the deaths theyhad not seen &eant no &ore to the& than the &i&ic death of thecine&a screen So&eti&es it was not necessary that death shoudbe actuay witnessed@ it had ony to take "ace undercircu&stances of sufficient no$ety and "roxi&ity to bring it

ho&e a&ost as sensationay and effecti$ey as if it had beenactuay $isibe

+or exa&"e, in the s"ring of 1.13 there was an a""aingsaughter of our young sodiers at 9eu$e !ha"ee and at theGai"oi anding 0 wi not go so far as to say that ourci$iians were deighted to ha$e such exciting news to read atbreakfast But 0 cannot "retend that 0 noticed either in the"a"ers, or in genera intercourse, any feeing beyond the usuaone that the cine&a show at the front was going s"endidy, andthat our boys were the bra$est of the bra$e Suddeny there ca&e


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the news that an 2tantic iner, the usitania, had beentor"edoed, and that se$era we=known first=cass "assengers,incuding a fa&ous theatrica &anager and the author of a "o"uarfarce, had been drowned, a&ong others (he others incuded SirHugh aneI but as he had ony aid the country under greatobigations in the s"here of the fine arts, no great stress wasaid on that oss 0&&ediatey an a&a8ing fren8y swe"t throughthe country en who u" to that ti&e had ke"t their heads now

ost the& uttery TAiing saoon "assengers% 'hat nextT wasthe essence of the whoe agitationI but it is far too tri$ia a"hrase to con$ey the faintest notion of the rage which "ossessedus (o &e, with &y &ind fu of the hideous cost of 9eu$e!ha"ee, "res, and the Gai"oi anding, the fuss about theusitania see&ed a&ost a heartess i&"ertinence, though 0 waswe acDuainted "ersonay with the three best=known $icti&s, andunderstood, better "erha"s than &ost "eo"e, the &isfortune ofthe death of ane 0 e$en found a gri& satisfaction, $eryinteigibe to a sodiers, in the fact that the ci$iians whofound the war such s"endid British s"ort shoud get a shar"taste of what it was to the actua co&batants 0 ex"ressed &yi&"atience $ery freey, and found that &y $ery straightforward

and natura feeing in the &atter was recei$ed as a &onstrous andheartess "aradox 'hen 0 asked those who ga"ed at &e whetherthey had anything to say about the hoocaust of +estubert, theyga"ed wider than before, ha$ing totay forgotten it, or rather,ha$ing ne$er reai8ed it (hey were not heartess any&ore than 0wasI but the big catastro"he was too big for the& to gras", andthe itte one had been just the right si8e for the& 0 was notsur"rised Ha$e 0 not seen a "ubic body for just the sa&e reason"ass a $ote for 74,444 without a word, and then s"end threes"ecia &eetings, "roonged into the night, o$er an ite& of se$enshiings for refresh&ents

itte inds and Big Battes

9obody wi be abe to understand the $agaries of "ubic feeingduring the war uness they bear constanty in &ind that the warin its entire &agnitude did not exist for the a$erage ci$iianHe coud not concei$e e$en a batte, &uch ess a ca&"aign (o thesuburbs the war was nothing but a suburban sDuabbe (o the &inerand na$$y it was ony a series of bayonet fights between Ger&ancha&"ions and Engish ones (he enor&ity of it was Duite beyond&ost of us 0ts e"isodes had to be reduced to the di&ensions of araiway accident or a shi"wreck before it coud "roduce anyeffect on our &inds at a (o us the ridicuous bo&bard&ents of

Scarborough and -a&sgate were coossa tragedies, and the batteof Jutand a &ere baad (he words Tafter thorough artiery"re"arationT in the news fro& the front &eant nothing to usI butwhen our seaside tri""ers earned that an edery gente&an atbreakfast in a week=end &arine hote had been interru"ted by abo&b dro""ing into his egg=cu", their wrath and horror knew nobounds (hey decared that this woud "ut a new s"irit into thear&yI and had no sus"icion that the sodiers in the trenchesroared with aughter o$er it for days, and tod each other thatit woud do the bighters at ho&e good to ha$e a taste of whatthe ar&y was u" against So&eti&es the s&aness of $iew was


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"athetic 2 &an woud work at ho&e regardess of the ca Tto&ake the word safe for de&ocracyT His brother woud be kiedat the front 0&&ediatey he woud throw u" his work and take u"the war as a fa&iy bood feud against the Ger&ans So&eti&es itwas co&ic 2 wounded &an, entited to his discharge, woud returnto the trenches with a gri& deter&ination to find the Hun who hadwounded hi& and "ay hi& out for it

0t is i&"ossibe to esti&ate what "ro"ortion of us, in khaki orout of it, gras"ed the war and its "oitica antecedents as awhoe in the ight of any "hioso"hy of history or knowedge ofwhat war is 0 doubt whether it was as high as our "ro"ortion ofhigher &athe&aticians But there can be no doubt that it was"rodigiousy outnu&bered by the co&"arati$ey ignorant andchidish -e&e&ber that these "eo"e had to be sti&uated to &akethe sacrifices de&anded by the war, and that this coud not bedone by a""eas to a knowedge which they did not "ossess, and aco&"rehension of which they were inca"abe 'hen the ar&istice atast set &e free to te the truth about the war at the foowinggenera eection, a sodier said to a candidate who& 0 wassu""orting, T0f 0 had known a that in 1.1


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they fussed and bawed and were ony "re$ented fro& getting $eryseriousy into the way by the bessed fact that they ne$er knewwhere the way was (hus whist a the efficiency of Engand wassient and in$isibe, a its i&beciity was deafening thehea$ens with its ca&or and botting out the sun with its dust0t was aso unfortunatey inti&idating the Go$ern&ent by itsbusterings into using the irresistibe "owers of the State tointi&idate the sensibe "eo"e, thus enabing a des"icabe

&inority of woud=be ynchers to set u" a reign of terror whichcoud at any ti&e ha$e been broken by a singe stern word fro& ares"onsibe &inister But our &inisters had not that sort ofcourage@ neither Heartbreak House nor Horseback Ha had bred it,&uch ess the suburbs 'hen &atters at ast ca&e to the ootingof sho"s by cri&inas under "atriotic "retexts, it was the "oiceforce and not the Go$ern&ent that "ut its foot down (here wase$en one de"orabe &o&ent, during the sub&arine scare, in whichthe Go$ern&ent yieded to a chidish cry for the &atreat&ent ofna$a "risoners of war, and, to our great disgrace, was forced bythe ene&y to beha$e itsef 2nd yet behind a this "ubicbundering and &isconduct and futie &ischief, the effecti$eEngand was carrying on with the &ost for&idabe ca"acity and

acti$ity (he ostensibe Engand was &aking the e&"ire sick withits incontinences, its ignorances, its ferocities, its "anics,and its endess and intoerabe barings of 2ied nationaanthe&s in season and out (he esoteric Engand was "roceedingirresistiby to the conDuest of Euro"e

(he Practica Business en

Q+ro& the beginning the useess "eo"e set u" a shriek forT"ractica business &enT By this they &eant &en who had beco&erich by "acing their "ersona interests before those of the

country, and &easuring the success of e$ery acti$ity by the"ecuniary "rofit it brought to the& and to those on who& theyde"ended for their su""ies of ca"ita (he "itiabe faiure ofso&e cons"icuous sa&"es fro& the first batch we tried of these"oor de$is he"ed to gi$e the whoe "ubic side of the war anair of &onstrous and ho"eess farce (hey "ro$ed not ony thatthey were useess for "ubic work, but that in a we=orderednation they woud ne$er ha$e been aowed to contro "ri$ateenter"rise

How the +oos shouted the 'ise en down

(hus, ike a fertie country fooded with &ud, Engand showed nosign of her greatness in the days when she was "utting forth aher strength to sa$e hersef fro& the worst conseDuences of heritteness ost of the &en of action, occu"ied to the ast hourof their ti&e with urgent "ractica work, had to ea$e to ider"eo"e, or to "rofessiona rhetoricians, the "resentation of thewar to the reason and i&agination of the country and the word ins"eeches, "oe&s, &anifestoes, "icture "osters, and news"a"erartices 0 ha$e had the "ri$iege of hearing so&e of our abestco&&anders taking about their workI and 0 ha$e shared the co&&on


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ot of reading the accounts of that work gi$en to the word bythe news"a"ers 9o two ex"eriences coud be &ore different Butin the end the takers obtained a dangerous ascendancy o$er therank and fie of the &en of actionI for though the great &en ofaction are aways in$eterate takers and often $ery ce$erwriters, and therefore cannot ha$e their &inds for&ed for the& byothers, the a$erage &an of action, ike the a$erage fighter withthe bayonet, can gi$e no account of hi&sef in words e$en to

hi&sef, and is a"t to "ick u" and acce"t what he reads abouthi&sef and other "eo"e in the "a"ers, exce"t when the writer isrash enough to co&&it hi&sef on technica "oints 0t was notunco&&on during the war to hear a sodier, or a ci$iian engagedon war work, describing e$ents within his own ex"erience thatreduced to utter absurdity the ra$ings and &aunderings of hisdaiy "a"er, and yet echo the o"inions of that "a"er ike a"arrot (hus, to esca"e fro& the "re$aiing confusion and foy,it was not enough to seek the co&"any of the ordinary &an ofaction@ one had to get into contact with the &aster s"irits (hiswas a "ri$iege which ony a handfu of "eo"e coud enjoy +orthe un"ri$ieged citi8en there was no esca"e (o hi& the whoecountry see&ed &ad, futie, siy, inco&"etent, with no ho"e of

$ictory exce"t the ho"e that the ene&y &ight be just as &ad Cnyby $ery resoute refection and reasoning coud he reassurehi&sef that if there was nothing &ore soid beneath theira""aing a""earances the war coud not "ossiby ha$e gone on fora singe day without a tota breakdown of its organi8ation

(he ad Eection

Ha""y were the foos and the thoughtess &en of action in thosedays (he worst of it was that the foos were $ery strongyre"resented in "aria&ent, as foos not ony eect foos, but can

"ersuade &en of action to eect the& too (he eection thati&&ediatey foowed the ar&istice was "erha"s the &addest thathas e$er taken "ace Sodiers who had done $ountary and heroicser$ice in the fied were defeated by "ersons who had a""arentyne$er run a risk or s"ent a farthing that they coud a$oid, andwho e$en had in the course of the eection to a"oogi8e "ubicyfor bawing Pacifist or Pro=Ger&an at their o""onent Partyeaders seek such foowers, who can aways be de"ended on towak ta&ey into the obby at the "arty whi"Ns orders, "ro$idedthe eader wi &ake their seats safe for the& by the "rocesswhich was caed, in derisi$e reference to the war rationingsyste&, Tgi$ing the& the cou"onT Cther incidents were sogrotesDue that 0 cannot &ention the& without enabing the reader

to identify the "arties, which woud not be fair, as they were no&ore to ba&e than thousands of others who &ust necessariy bena&eess (he genera resut was "atenty absurdI and theeectorate, disgusted at its own work, instanty recoied to theo""osite extre&e, and cast out a the cou"on candidates at theeariest bye=eections by eDuay siy &ajorities But the&ischief of the genera eection coud not be undoneI and theGo$ern&ent had not ony to "retend to abuse its Euro"ean $ictoryas it had "ro&ised, but actuay to do it by star$ing the ene&ieswho had thrown down their ar&s 0t had, in short, won theeection by "edging itsef to be thriftessy wicked, crue, and


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"assing a worthess cheDue, coud yet stake his ife on the &ostdes"erate chances of the batte=fied% )oes it not see& as if,after a, the gory of death were chea"er than the gory ofife 0f it is not easier to attain, why do so &any &ore &enattain it 2t a e$ents it is cear that the kingdo& of thePrince of Peace has not yet beco&e the kingdo& of this word Hisatte&"ts at in$asion ha$e been resisted far &ore fiercey thanthe AaiserNs Successfu as that resistance has been, it has

"ied u" a sort of 9ationa )ebt that is not the ess o""ressi$ebecause we ha$e no figures for it and do not intend to "ay it 2bockade that cuts off Tthe grace of our ordT is in the ong runess bearabe than the bockades which &erey cut off raw&ateriasI and against that bockade our 2r&ada is i&"otent 0nthe bockaderNs house, he has assured us, there are &any&ansionsI but 0 a& afraid they do not incude either HeartbreakHouse or Horseback Ha

Pague on Both your Houses%

eanwhie the Boshe$ist "icks and "etards are at work on thefoundations of both buidingsI and though the Boshe$ists &ay beburied in the ruins, their deaths wi not sa$e the edificesnfortunatey they can be buit again ike )oubting !aste, theyha$e been de&oished &any ti&es by successi$e Greathearts, andrebuit by Si&"e, Soth, and Presu&"tion, by +eebe ind anduch 2fraid, and by a the jury&en of anity +air 2nothergeneration of Tsecondary educationT at our ancient "ubic schoosand the chea"er institutions that a"e the& wi be Duitesufficient to kee" the two going unti the next war +or theinstruction of that generation 0 ea$e these "ages as a record ofwhat ci$iian ife was during the war@ a &atter on which historyis usuay sient +ortunatey it was a $ery short war 0t is

true that the "eo"e who thought it coud not ast &ore than six&onths were $ery signay refuted by the e$ent 2s Sir )ougasHaig has "ointed out, its 'ateroos asted &onths instead ofhours But there woud ha$e been nothing sur"rising in itsasting thirty years 0f it had not been for the fact that thebockade achie$ed the a&a8ing feat of star$ing out Euro"e, whichit coud not "ossiby ha$e done had Euro"e been "ro"eryorgani8ed for war, or e$en for "eace, the war woud ha$e astedunti the beigerents were so tired of it that they coud noonger be co&"eed to co&"e the&se$es to go on with it!onsidering its &agnitude, the war of 1.1


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How the (heatre fared

et us now contract our $iew rather $ioenty fro& the Euro"eantheatre of war to the theatre in which the fights are sha&fights, and the sain, rising the &o&ent the curtain has faen,

go co&fortaby ho&e to su""er after washing off their rose="inkwounds 0t is neary twenty years since 0 was ast obiged tointroduce a "ay in the for& of a book for ack of an o""ortunityof "resenting it in its "ro"er &ode by a "erfor&ance in atheatre (he war has thrown &e back on this ex"edient HeartbreakHouse has not yet reached the stage 0 ha$e withhed it becausethe war has co&"etey u"set the econo&ic conditions whichfor&ery enabed serious dra&a to "ay its way in ondon (hechange is not in the theatres nor in the &anage&ent of the&, norin the authors and actors, but in the audiences +or four yearsthe ondon theatres were crowded e$ery night with thousands ofsodiers on ea$e fro& the front (hese sodiers were notseasoned ondon "aygoers 2 chidish ex"erience of &y own ga$e

&e a cue to their condition 'hen 0 was a s&a boy 0 was takento the o"era 0 did not then know what an o"era was, though 0coud whiste a good dea of o"era &usic 0 had seen in &y&otherNs abu& "hotogra"hs of a the great o"era singers, &ostyin e$ening dress 0n the theatre 0 found &ysef before a gidedbacony fied with "ersons in e$ening dress who& 0 took to bethe o"era singers 0 "icked out one &assi$e dark ady as 2boni,and wondered how soon she woud stand u" and sing 0 was "u88edby the fact that 0 was &ade to sit with &y back to the singersinstead of facing the& 'hen the curtain went u", &y astonish&entand deight were unbounded

(he Sodier at the (heatre +ront

0n 1.13, 0 saw in the theatres &en in khaki in just the sa&e"redica&ent (o e$eryone who had &y cue to their state of &indit was e$ident that they had ne$er been in a theatre before anddid not know what it was 2t one of our great $ariety theatres 0sat beside a young officer, not at a a rough s"eci&en, who,e$en when the curtain rose and enightened hi& as to the "acewhere he had to ook for his entertain&ent, found the dra&atic"art of it uttery inco&"rehensibe He did not know how to "ayhis "art of the ga&e He coud understand the "eo"e on the stagesinging and dancing and "erfor&ing gy&nastic feats He not ony

understood but intensey enjoyed an artist who i&itated cockscrowing and "igs sDueaking But the "eo"e who "retended thatthey were so&ebody ese, and that the "ainted "icture behind the&was rea, bewidered hi& 0n his "resence 0 reai8ed how $eryso"histicated the natura &an has to beco&e before thecon$entions of the theatre can be easiy acce"tabe, or the"ur"ose of the dra&a ob$ious to hi&

'e, fro& the &o&ent when the routine of ea$e for our sodierswas estabished, such no$ices, acco&"anied by da&ses 5caedfa""ers often as innocent as the&se$es, crowded the theatres


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to the doors 0t was hardy "ossibe at first to find stuff crudeenough to nurse the& on (he best &usic=ha co&edians ransackedtheir &e&ories for the odest Dui"s and the &ost chidish anticsto a$oid carrying the &iitary s"ectators out of their de"th 0beie$e that this was a &istake as far as the no$ices wereconcerned Shakes"eare, or the dra&ati8ed histories of GeorgeBarnwe, aria artin, or the )e&on Barber of +eet Street,woud "robaby ha$e been Duite "o"uar with the& But the no$ices

were ony a &inority after a (he cuti$ated sodier, who inti&e of "eace woud ook at nothing theatrica exce"t the &ostad$anced "ost0bsen "ays in the &ost artistic settings, foundhi&sef, to his own astonish&ent, thirsting for siy jokes,dances, and brainessy sensuous exhibitions of "retty girs (heauthor of so&e of the &ost gri&y serious "ays of our ti&e tod&e that after enduring the trenches for &onths without a gi&"seof the fe&ae of his s"ecies, it ga$e hi& an entirey innocentbut deightfu "easure &erey to see a fa""er (he reactionfro& the batte=fied "roduced a condition of hy"eraesthesia inwhich a the theatrica $aues were atered (ri$ia thingsgained intensity and stae things no$ety (he actor, instead ofha$ing to coax his audiences out of the boredo& which had dri$en

the& to the theatre in an i hu&or to seek so&e sort ofdistraction, had ony to ex"oit the biss of s&iing &en whowere no onger under fire and under &iitary disci"ine, butactuay cean and co&fortabe and in a &ood to be "eased withanything and e$erything that a be$y of "retty girs and a funny&an, or e$en a be$y of girs "retending to be "retty and a &an"retending to be funny, coud do for the&

(hen coud be seen e$ery night in the theatres odfashionedfarcica co&edies, in which a bedroo&, with four doors on eachside and a "racticabe window in the &idde, was understood torese&be exacty the bedroo& in the fats beneath and abo$e, athree inhabited by cou"es consu&ed with jeaousy 'hen these

"eo"e ca&e ho&e drunk at nightI &istook their neighborNs fatsfor their ownI and in due course got into the wrong beds, it wasnot ony the no$ices who found the resuting co&"ications andscandas exDuisitey ingenious and a&using, nor their eDuay$erdant fa""ers who coud not he" sDueaing in a &anner thatastonished the odest "erfor&ers when the gente&an who had justco&e in drunk through the window "retended to undress, andaowed gi&"ses of his naked "erson to be descried fro& ti&e toti&e

Heartbreak House

en who had just read the news that !hares 'yndha& was dying,and were thereby sady re&inded of Pink )o&inos and the torrentof farcica co&edies that foowed it in his heyday unti e$erytrick of that trade had beco&e so stae that the aughter they"ro$oked turned to oathing@ these $eterans aso, when theyreturned fro& the fied, were as &uch "eased by what they knewto be stae and fooish as the no$ices by what they thought freshand ce$er


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!o&&erce in the (heatre

'eington said that an ar&y &o$es on its bey So does a ondontheatre Before a &an acts he &ust eat Before he "erfor&s "ayshe &ust "ay rent 0n ondon we ha$e no theatres for the wefareof the "eo"e@ they are a for the soe "ur"ose of "roducing theut&ost obtainabe rent for the "ro"rietor 0f the twin fats and

twin beds "roduce a guinea &ore than Shakes"eare, out goesShakes"eare and in co&e the twin fats and the twin beds 0f thebrainess be$y of "retty girs and the funny &an outbid o8art,out goes o8art

nser Shakes"eare

Before the war an effort was &ade to re&edy this by estabishinga nationa theatre in ceebration of the tercentenary of thedeath of Shakes"eare 2 co&&ittee was for&edI and a sorts ofiustrious and infuentia "ersons ent their na&es to a grand

a""ea to our nationa cuture y "ay, (he )ark ady of (heSonnets, was one of the incidents of that a""ea 2fter so&eyears of effort the resut was a singe handso&e subscri"tionfro& a Ger&an gente&an ike the ceebrated swearer in theanecdote when the cart containing a his househod goods ostits taiboard at the to" of the hi and et its contents ro inruin to the botto&, 0 can ony say, T0 cannot do justice to thissituation,T and et it "ass without another word

(he Higher )ra&a "ut out of 2ction

(he effect of the war on the ondon theatres &ay now be i&agined(he beds and the be$ies dro$e e$ery higher for& of art out of it-ents went u" to an un"recedented figure 2t the sa&e ti&e "ricesdoubed e$erywhere exce"t at the theatre "ay=boxes, and raisedthe ex"enses of &anage&ent to such a degree that uness thehouses were Duite fu e$ery night, "rofit was i&"ossibe E$enbare so$ency coud not be attained without a $ery wide"o"uarity 9ow what had &ade serious dra&a "ossibe to a i&itedextent before the war was that a "ay coud "ay its way e$en ifthe theatre were ony haf fu unti Saturday and three=Duartersfu then 2 &anager who was an enthusiast and a des"eratey hardworker, with an occasiona grant=in=aid fro& an artisticaydis"osed &iionaire, and a due "ro"ortion of those rare and

ha""y accidents by which "ays of the higher sort turn out to be"otboiers as we, coud hod out for so&e years, by which ti&ea reay &ight arri$e in the "erson of another enthusiast (husand not otherwise occurred that re&arkabe re$i$a of the Britishdra&a at the beginning of the century which &ade &y own career asa "aywright "ossibe in Engand 0n 2&erica 0 had areadyestabished &ysef, not as "art of the ordinary theatre syste&,but in association with the exce"tiona genius of -ichardansfied 0n Ger&any and 2ustria 0 had no difficuty@ the syste&of "ubicy aided theatres there, !ourt and unici"a, ke"t dra&aof the kind 0 deat in ai$eI so that 0 was indebted to the


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E&"eror of 2ustria for &agnificent "roductions of &y works at ati&e when the soe officia attention "aid &e by the British!ourts was the announce&ent to the Engish=s"eaking word thatcertain "ays of &ine were unfit for "ubic "erfor&ance, asubstantia set=off against this being that the British !ourt, inthe course of its "ri$ate "aygoing, "aid no regard to the badcharacter gi$en &e by the chief officer of its househod

Howbeit, the fact that &y "ays effected a odg&ent on the ondonstage, and were "resenty foowed by the "ays of Gran$ieBarker, Gibert urray, John asefied, St John Hankin, awrenceHous&an, 2rnod Bennett, John Gasworthy, John )rinkwater, andothers which woud in the nineteenth century ha$e stood ratheress chance of "roduction at a ondon theatre than the )iaoguesof Pato, not to &ention re$i$as of the ancient 2thenian dra&aand a restoration to the stage of Shakes"eareNs "ays as he wrotethe&, was &ade econo&icay "ossibe soey by a su""y oftheatres which coud hod neary twice as &uch &oney as it costto rent and &aintain the& 0n such theatres work a""eaing to areati$ey s&a cass of cuti$ated "ersons, and thereforeattracting ony fro& haf to three=Duarters as &any s"ectators as

the &ore "o"uar "asti&es, coud ne$ertheess kee" going in thehands of young ad$enturers who were doing it for its own sake,and had not yet been forced by ad$ancing age and res"onsibiitiesto consider the co&&ercia $aue of their ti&e and energy toocosey (he war struck this foundation away in the &anner 0 ha$ejust described (he ex"enses of running the chea"est west=endtheatres rose to a su& which exceeded by twenty=fi$e "er cent theut&ost that the higher dra&a can, as an ascertained &atter offact, be de"ended on to draw (hus the higher dra&a, which hasne$er reay been a co&&erciay sound s"ecuation, now beca&e ani&"ossibe one 2ccordingy, atte&"ts are being &ade to "ro$ide arefuge for it in suburban theatres in ondon and re"ertorytheatres in the "ro$inces But at the &o&ent when the ar&y has at

ast disgorged the sur$i$ors of the gaant band of dra&atic"ioneers who& it swaowed, they find that the econo&icconditions which for&ery &ade their work no worse than"recarious now "ut it out of the Duestion atogether, as far asthe west end of ondon is concerned

!hurch and (heatre

0 do not su""ose &any "eo"e care "articuary 'e are notbrought u" to careI and a sense of the nationa i&"ortance of thetheatre is not born in &ankind@ the natura &an, ike so &any of

the sodiers at the beginning of the war, does not know what atheatre is But "ease note that a these sodiers who did notknow what a theatre was, knew what a church was 2nd they hadbeen taught to res"ect churches 9obody had e$er warned the&against a church as a "ace where fri$oous wo&en "araded intheir best cothesI where stories of i&"ro"er fe&aes ikePoti"harNs wife, and erotic "oetry ike the Song of Songs, wereread aoudI where the sensuous and senti&enta &usic of Schubert,endessohn, Gounod, and Brah&s was &ore "o"uar than se$ere&usic by greater co&"osersI where the "rettiest sort of "retty"ictures of "retty saints assaied the i&agination and senses


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(he 9ext Phase

(he "resent situation wi not ast 2though the news"a"er 0read at breakfast this &orning before writing these wordscontains a cacuation that no ess than twenty=three wars are at"resent being waged to confir& the "eace, Engand is no onger inkhakiI and a $ioent reaction is setting in against the crudetheatrica fare of the four terribe years Soon the rents of

theatres wi once &ore be fixed on the assu&"tion that theycannot aways be fu, nor e$en on the a$erage haf fu week inand week out Prices wi change (he higher dra&a wi be at nogreater disad$antage than it was before the warI and it &aybenefit, first, by the fact that &any of us ha$e been torn fro&the foosN "aradise in which the theatre for&ery traded, andthrust u"on the sternest reaities and necessities unti we ha$eost both faith in and "atience with the theatrica "retencesthat had no root either in reaity or necessityI second, by thestarting change &ade by the war in the distribution of inco&e0t see&s ony the other day that a &iionaire was a &an with34,444 a year (o=day, when he has "aid his inco&e tax and su"ertax, and insured his ife for the a&ount of his death duties, he

is ucky if his net inco&e is 14,444 "ounds though his no&ina"ro"erty re&ains the sa&e 2nd this is the resut of a Budgetwhich is caed Ta res"ite for the richT 2t the other end of thescae &iions of "ersons ha$e had reguar inco&es for the firstti&e in their i$esI and their &en ha$e been reguary cothed,fed, odged, and taught to &ake u" their &inds that certainthings ha$e to be done, aso for the first ti&e in their i$esHundreds of thousands of wo&en ha$e been taken out of theirdo&estic cages and tasted both disci"ine and inde"endence (hethoughtess and snobbish &idde casses ha$e been "ued u" shortby the $ery un"easant ex"erience of being ruined to anun"recedented extent 'e ha$e a had a tre&endous jotI andathough the wides"read notion that the shock of the war woud

auto&aticay &ake a new hea$en and a new earth, and that the dogwoud ne$er go back to his $o&it nor the sow to her waowing inthe &ire, is aready seen to be a deusion, yet we are far &oreconscious of our condition than we were, and far ess dis"osed tosub&it to it -e$oution, atey ony a sensationa cha"ter inhistory or a de&agogic ca"tra", is now a "ossibiity so i&&inentthat hardy by trying to su""ress it in other countries by ar&sand defa&ation, and caing the "rocess anti=Boshe$is&, can ourGo$ern&ent sta$e it off at ho&e

Perha"s the &ost tragic figure of the day is the 2&ericanPresident who was once a historian 0n those days it beca&e histask to te us how, after that great war in 2&erica which was

&ore ceary than any other war of our ti&e a war for an idea,the conDuerors, confronted with a heroic task of reconstruction,turned recreant, and s"ent fifteen years in abusing their $ictoryunder co$er of "retending to acco&"ish the task they were doingwhat they coud to &ake i&"ossibe 2as% Hege was right when hesaid that we earn fro& history that &en ne$er earn anythingfro& history 'ith what anguish of &ind the President sees thatwe, the new conDuerors, forgetting e$erything we "rofessed tofight for, are sitting down with watering &ouths to a good sDuare&ea of ten years re$enge u"on and hu&iiation of our "rostratefoe, can ony be guessed by those who know, as he does, how


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ho"eess is re&onstrance, and how ha""y incon was in "erishingfro& the earth before his ins"ired &essages beca&e scra"s of"a"er He knows we that fro& the Peace !onference wi co&e, ins"ite of his ut&ost, no edict on which he wi be abe, ikeincon, to in$oke Tthe considerate judg&ent of &ankind@ and thegracious fa$or of 2&ighty GodT He ed his "eo"e to destroy the&iitaris& of XabernI and the ar&y they rescued is busy in!oogne i&"risoning e$ery Ger&an who does not saute a British

officerI whist the go$ern&ent at ho&e, asked whether ita""ro$es, re"ies that it does not "ro"ose e$en to discontinuethis Xabernis& when the Peace is concuded, but in effect ooksforward to &aking Ger&ans saute British officers unti the endof the word (hat is what war &akes of &en and wo&en 0t wiwear offI and the worst it threatens is aready "ro$ingi&"racticabeI but before the hu&be and contrite heart ceases tobe des"ised, the President and 0, being of the sa&e age, wi bedotards 0n the &eanti&e there is, for hi&, another history towriteI for &e, another co&edy to stage Perha"s, after a, thatis what wars are for, and what historians and "aywrights arefor 0f &en wi not earn unti their essons are written inbood, why, bood they &ust ha$e, their own for "reference

(he E"he&era (hrones and the Eterna (heatre

(o the theatre it wi not &atter 'hate$er Basties fa, thetheatre wi stand 2"ostoic Ha"sburg has coa"sedI 2 HighestHohen8oern anguishes in Hoand, threatened with tria on aca"ita charge of fighting for his country against EngandI0&"eria -o&anoff, said to ha$e "erished &iseraby by a &oresu&&ary &ethod of &urder, is "erha"s ai$e or "erha"s dead@nobody cares &ore than if he had been a "easantI the ord ofHeas is e$e with his ackeys in re"ubican Swit8erandI Pri&e

inisters and !o&&anders=in=!hief ha$e "assed fro& a brief goryas Soons and !aesars into faiure and obscurity as cosey onone anotherNs hees as the descendants of BanDuoI but Euri"idesand 2risto"hanes, Shakes"eare and oiere, Goethe and 0bsenre&ain fixed in their e$erasting seats

How 'ar &u88es the )ra&atic Poet

2s for &ysef, why, it &ay be asked, did 0 not write two "aysabout the war instead of two "a&"hets on it (he answer issignificant ou cannot &ake war on war and on your neighbor at

the sa&e ti&e 'ar cannot bear the terribe castigation ofco&edy, the ruthess ight of aughter that gares on the stage'hen &en are heroicay dying for their country, it is not theti&e to show their o$ers and wi$es and fathers and &others howthey are being sacrificed to the bunders of boobies, thecu"idity of ca"itaists, the a&bition of conDuerors, theeectioneering of de&agogues, the Pharisais& of "atriots, theusts and ies and rancors and boodthirsts that o$e war becauseit o"ens their "rison doors, and sets the& in the thrones of"ower and "o"uarity +or uness these things are &erciessyex"osed they wi hide under the &ante of the ideas on the


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stage just as they do in rea ife

2nd though there &ay be better things to re$ea, it &ay not, andindeed cannot, be &iitariy ex"edient to re$ea the& whist theissue is sti in the baance (ruth teing is not co&"atibewith the defence of the rea& 'e are just now reading there$eations of our generas and ad&iras, un&u88ed at ast bythe ar&istice )uring the war, Genera 2, in his &o$ing

des"atches fro& the fied, tod how Genera B had co$ered hi&sefwith deathess gory in such and such a batte He now tes usthat Genera B ca&e within an ace of osing us the war bydisobeying his orders on that occasion, and fighting instead ofrunning away as he ought to ha$e done 2n exceent subject forco&edy now that the war is o$er, no doubtI but if Genera 2 hadet this out at the ti&e, what woud ha$e been the effect onGenera BNs sodiers 2nd had the stage &ade known what the Pri&einister and the Secretary of State for 'ar who o$errued Genera2 thought of hi&, and what he thought of the&, as now re$eaed inraging contro$ersy, what woud ha$e been the effect on thenation (hat is why co&edy, though sorey te&"ted, had to beoyay sientI for the art of the dra&atic "oet knows no

"atriotis&I recogni8es no obigation but truth to naturahistoryI cares not whether Ger&any or Engand "erishI is ready tocry with Brynhid, TassNuns $erderben, achend 8u grunde gehNnTsooner than decei$e or be decei$edI and thus beco&es in ti&e ofwar a greater &iitary danger than "oison, stee, ortrinitrotouene (hat is why 0 had to withhod Heartbreak Housefro& the footights during the warI for the Ger&ans &ight on anynight ha$e turned the ast act fro& "ay into earnest, and e$enthen &ight not ha$e waited for their cues

June, 1.1.

HE2-(B-E2A HCSE

2!( 0

(he hiy country in the &idde of the north edge of Sussex,ooking $ery "easant on a fine e$ening at the end of Se"te&ber,is seen through the windows of a roo& which has been buit so asto rese&be the after "art of an od=fashioned high="oo"ed shi",with a stern gaeryI for the windows are shi" buit with hea$yti&bering, and run right across the roo& as continuousy as thestabiity of the wa aows 2 row of ockers under the windows"ro$ides an unu"hostered windowseat interru"ted by twin gass

doors, res"ecti$ey hafway between the stern "ost and the sides2nother door strains the iusion a itte by being a""arenty inthe shi"Ns "ort side, and yet eading, not to the o"en sea, butto the entrance ha of the house Between this door and thestern gaery are bookshe$es (here are eectric ight switchesbeside the door eading to the ha and the gass doors in thestern gaery 2gainst the starboard wa is a car"enterNs bench(he $ice has a board in its jawsI and the foor is ittered withsha$ings, o$erfowing fro& a waste="a"er basket 2 cou"e of"anes and a centrebit are on the bench 0n the sa&e wa,between the bench and the windows, is a narrow doorway with a


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haf door, abo$e which a gi&"se of the roo& beyond shows that itis a she$ed "antry with bottes and kitchen crockery

Cn the starboard side, but cose to the &idde, is a "ain oakdrawing=tabe with drawing=board, (=sDuare, straightedges, setsDuares, &athe&atica instru&ents, saucers of water coor, atu&ber of discoored water, 0ndian ink, "encis, and brushes onit (he drawing=board is set so that the draughts&anNs chair has

the window on its eft hand Cn the foor at the end of thetabe, on its right, is a shi"Ns fire bucket Cn the "ort side ofthe roo&, near the bookshe$es, is a sofa with its back to thewindows 0t is a sturdy &ahogany artice, oddy u"hostered insaicoth, incuding the boster, with a cou"e of banketshanging o$er the back Between the sofa and the drawing=tabe isa big wicker chair, with broad ar&s and a ow so"ing back, withits back to the ight 2 s&a but stout tabe of teak, with around to" and gate egs, stands against the "ort wa between thedoor and the bookcase 0t is the ony artice in the roo& thatsuggests 5not at a con$incingy a wo&anNs hand in thefurnishing (he uncar"eted foor of narrow boards is cauked andhoystoned ike a deck

(he garden to which the gass doors ead di"s to the south beforethe andsca"e rises again to the his E&erging fro& the hoowis the cu"oa of an obser$atory Between the obser$atory and thehouse is a fagstaff on a itte es"anade, with a ha&&ock on theeast side and a ong garden seat on the west

2 young ady, go$ed and hatted, with a dust coat on, is sittingin the window=seat with her body twisted to enabe her to ookout at the $iew Cne hand "ro"s her chin@ the other hangs downwith a $ou&e of the (e&"e Shakes"eare in it, and her fingerstuck in the "age she has been reading

2 cock strikes six

(he young ady turns and ooks at her watch She rises with anair of one who waits, and is a&ost at the end of her "atienceShe is a "retty gir, sender, fair, and inteigent ooking,nicey but not ex"ensi$ey dressed, e$identy not a s&art ider

'ith a sigh of weary resignation she co&es to the draughts&anNschairI sits downI and begins to read Shakes"eare Presenty thebook sinks to her a"I her eyes coseI and she do8es into asu&ber

2n edery wo&anser$ant co&es in fro& the ha with three

uno"ened bottes of ru& on a tray She "asses through anddisa""ears in the "antry without noticing the young ady She"aces the bottes on the shef and fis her tray with e&"tybottes 2s she returns with these, the young ady ets her bookdro", awakening hersef, and starting the wo&anser$ant so thatshe a but ets the tray fa

(HE 'C29SE-29( God bess us% :(he young ady "icks u" the bookand "aces it on the tabe; Sorry to wake you, &iss, 0N& sureIbut you are a stranger to &e 'hat &ight you be waiting here fornow


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(HE C9G 2) 'aiting for so&ebody to show so&e signs ofknowing that 0 ha$e been in$ited here

(HE 'C29SE-29( Ch, youNre in$ited, are you 2nd has nobodyco&e )ear% dear%

(HE C9G 2) 2 wid=ooking od gente&an ca&e and ooked in

at the windowI and 0 heard hi& caing out, T9urse, there is ayoung and attracti$e fe&ae waiting in the "oo" Go and see whatshe wantsT 2re you the nurse

(HE 'C29SE-29( es, &iss@ 0N& 9urse Guinness (hat was od!a"tain Shoto$er, rs HushabyeNs father 0 heard hi& roaringI but0 thought it was for so&ething ese 0 su""ose it was rsHushabye that in$ited you, ducky

(HE C9G 2) 0 understood her to do so But reay 0 think 0Ndbetter go

9-SE G099ESS Ch, donNt think of such a thing, &iss 0f rs

Hushabye has forgotten a about it, it wi be a "easantsur"rise for her to see you, wonNt it

(HE C9G 2) 0t has been a $ery un"easant sur"rise to &e tofind that nobody ex"ects &e

9-SE G099ESS ouN get used to it, &iss@ this house is fuof sur"rises for the& that donNt know our ways

heartbreak house by shaw george bernard 18561950

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