HEADLINER

Patrick O’Donnell

$10,000.00 Winner of ABC’s American’s Funniest People

Been seen on Comedy Central, A&E’s Comedy on the Road etc. Writer

for Jay Leno and Jimmie ‘JJ’ Walker

Send Check or MO with self-addressed stamped envelope to: The South Jersey DEVILer (Big show) PO BOX 691 Elmer, NJ 08318

Tickets can also be picked up at the DEVILer office (Pittsgrove) call 856-358-8972 for appointment and directions.

YOU MAY RESERVE A TABLE OF EIGHT! But tickets must be purchased in lots of 8.

BUFFET ~ Roast Pork, Meat Ball Sandwiches, Potatoes, String Beans, Caesar Salad, Desserts. Coffee, Hot Tea CASH BAR ~ Catered by: VFW 1616 Auxiliary

◄ Natalie ‘Natshia’ Levant The Comic Strip/Taj Mahal On stage sassy and sharp

tongued. M Triple HEADLINERS M ►“The King of Comedy

Characters”

TOMMY TOO SMOOV

A woman takes her pet Beagle to the vet and asks, “My dog’s

cross-eyed... is there anything you can do for him?”

“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So, he picks

the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“Why?” cried the woman, “because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because he’s really heavy.”

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their

English counterparts, French nouns are

grammatically designated as masculine or

feminine. Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she

described, would have a gender association

although in English these words were neutral.

Confused, one student raised his hand and

asked, “What gender is a computer?”

The French teacher wasn’t sure which gender it was, so she divided the

class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be

masculine or feminine.

One group was comprised of the women in

the class, and the other of men. Both groups

were asked to give four reasons for their

recommendation.

The group of women concluded that

computers should be referred to in masculine gender because: 1. In

order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot

of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your

problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you

commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you

could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely

be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their

creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use

to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone

else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for

later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find

yourself spending half your pay check on accessories. Martha E., Newport, NJ

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to

visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car

became stuck. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by

themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving

some mules before him.

He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the

car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and

minutes later the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know,

you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today."

The husband looks around at the fields incredulously

and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plow

your land... at night?"

"No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the

water in the hole"

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Only in America...... do we use answering machines to screen

calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from

someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.