happines and peace in everyday life

8/14/2019 Happines and Peace in Everyday Life

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HAPPINESS AND PEACE IN EVERYDAY LIFE :

LECTURE BY SWAMI NIKHILESWARANANDA DELIVERED ON

27, 28 AND 29 TH MAY, 2004 AT AHMEDABAD MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATION

I recently visited UK and some countries of Europe. I had an invitation in April,

2003 by Coventry University in UK for giving a presentation on the topic of

disaster management. This was based on the experience of Ramakrishna

Mission, having completed a 20 crore project in Bhuj after the earthquake on 26 th

January, 2001. We had constructed 81 school buildings and 6 colonies there.

The Gujarati community of Coventry wanted me to give a speech to them at the

Sri Krishna temple there. I offered The teachings of Sri Krishna and its relevance

today or Bhagavad Gita as the topic, but they wanted me to speak onHappiness and Peace. Then at Leicester, Buckinghamshire, the Gujarati

community wanted me to speak on Happiness and Peace. At Asia Foundation,

London also, they wanted me to speak on the same topic. Subsequently, I visited

the centres of R.K. Mission in Switzerland, France and Holland and also one

which was to come up in Germany. At the spiritual retreat in Germany also, I was

requested to speak on Stress Management. In all these countries, which have

beautiful landscapes with mountains, lakes, beaches and greenery all aroundwith excellent roads, trains and air connections, outwardly people look very

happy. But when you start talking to them, you find that they do not have peace

of mind. Even at the age of 40 years, they do not want to get married as the cost

of divorce is more than the cost of marriage. Since divorces take place within 2 to

3 years of marriage, they are afraid to burn their fingers by getting married. In

Germany, I was talking to a Gujarati lady who was a widow. She said that there

were 4 members in her house she, her son, a German lady and their child, but

the son and the German lady were not married to each other. Everywhere people

are having problems with no peace of mind. Earlier, we monks used to be invited

to speak on Vedanta, Indian ethos etc, but now everywhere we are being

requested to speak on Stress Management.


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Elderly people everywhere are under tension because they may be asked by

their children to go to old age home any time. The middle aged men are stressed

as they are apprehensive about loss of their jobs and offer of VRS ( Voluntary

Retirement Scheme ). Their wives are under stress because of the high cost of

living, managing the home within the limited budget, managing the husband,

children and the in-laws. Parents of children who are in Class XII are under

further tension to such an extent that in Rajkot, we had to organise a retreat on

how to overcome the stress of Class XII science examination. I remember

meeting a very small girl once who told me that she was under tension because

she stood first class first in Junior KG and now in Senior KG her mother wanted

her to repeat the same accomplishment. Thus tension is everywhere at all levels.

With the advancements in technology, physical distances have been reduceddue to fast planes and air connections. Communication is instantaneous now

because of e-mail, mobile phone, STD and ISD connectivity, all through satellite

technology. The husband and wife sitting side by side on the sofa set in their

drawing room can chat with their children thousands of kms away in USA,

Canada or Australia on phone with clear voices and no disturbance. But between

the same husband and wife sitting side by side, there has been no proper

communication for the last two months. That is the paradox of today. There is no

proper communication or relationship between husband/wife, parents/children,

brother/sister and with in-laws and relatives. There are many books dealing with

these problems such as Final Exit, Complete manual on how to commit suicide,

Suicide: A users manual etc, all on how to commit suicide and have become

best sellers. Because of mental disorders and high rates of suicides, psychiatrists

are in great demand in the western countries and Japan. Japan overtook USA in

economic development some years ago. But a study showed that 42% of

Japanese executives over 44 years suffer from mental disorders. The executive

with his hard work, increases productivity of his company, but when he returns

home after two months, finds his wife has eloped with some one and the children

have become drug addicts and he becomes a psychic case. To have or to be, a

book by Erich Fromm, says man has himself become a commodity because of


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follow the four paths of Yoga Karma, Bhakti, Jnana and Raja. In Karma Yoga,

the path is through selfless action and service, in Bhakti Yoga, love and devotion

are the path chosen, in Jnana Yoga, reading of scriptures and good books with

positive thoughts is the path whereas in Raja Yoga, it is mental mastery through

Ashtanga Yoga. The more you practise the four Yogas, the more you will

become divine. You can remain in this world and still practise these Yogas with a

detached attachment. Sri Ramakrishna very aptly put it by saying that you

should live the life of a maid servant who was hired by a rich, fat lady in the city

for looking after her son Hari. The maid kept looking after Hari with full sincerity

and devotion, giving him bath and feeding him regularly. Though she was

attached to the child, she knew that this Hari is not her own, her own Hari lived in

her remote village. She was seeing her own son through the rich ladys son. Oneday when the maid was fired by the rich lady for breaking a precious crockery

item, the maid simply packed up her belongings and walked away without any

bitterness, as she was never attached to the house, the lady or her son. She

could easily pick up another job. In Work and its secret, Swami Vivekananda

says that attachment is the source of all pain, misery and suffering. Therefore,

you must have as much power of attachment as that of detachment.

Vivekananda said that unselfishness is the test of religion. Even if a person has

not gone to any place of worship, not read any scripture, not practiced any fast

or other rituals, but he is so unselfish as to sacrifice even his life for service of

others, he is the most religious person. Unselfish prayer such as, Let all in the

world be happy, let all be peaceful, done regularly, will result in your being

happy and peaceful. Just as the law of gravity is supreme in the physical world,

the law of Karma is supreme in the spiritual world. As you sow, so you reap. In

The 7 habits of highly influential people, Stephen Covey describes the

lighthouse principle. The captain of a ship sees approaching light in the darkness

which is all around and some one says that a ship is approaching them. He then

orders on the wireless set that the approaching ship should move by 20 degrees

to the right. The reply comes on the wireless that the captain should move his

ship by 20 degrees. The angry captain asks Who are you?. The reply comes


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I am the humble lighthouse operator. Do good to others, good will come to

you, not now, but later, just as you sow a seed today and the fruit is borne many

years later. Japa, prayer, worship and meditation bring peace of mind. Brahma

Muhurat, which is one hour before sunrise, is the most beneficial for practicing

these due to the spiritual ambience at that time. It was reported by Time

magazine some time ago that 10 million Americans practice meditation daily, not

for enlightenment, God realization or Nirvana, but for peace of mind. It has been

scientifically proved that meditation brings down blood pressure and is a stress

buster. Dr. Dean Ornish, through his famous book Reversing Heart Disease,

talks about Bypass the bypass surgery through meditation and other Yogic

practices. Most diseases are psychosomatic in origin and hence the relevance of

Yogic practices and meditation. You must read good books with positivethoughts and contemplate on them. The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna which

gives his teachings and Thoughts of power by Swami Vivekananda have a

magical effect on any one and give peace of mind, leading to mental strength

and self realization.

Mahendra Nath Gupta was the headmaster of a school. Due to various family

problems he was a broken man and was contemplating suicide. On the advice of

a friend of his, he reluctantly visited the place nearby where Sri Ramakrishna

was speaking to his devotees. He immediately felt great tranquility of mind, gave

up ideas of suicide and continued to visit the next two days to listen to the

address. This 3 day experience totally transformed him. He had made notes in

his diary of the question-answer sessions of Sri Ramakrishna with his devotees.

The diary was seen by Swami Vivekananda who instantly realised the wealth of

the nuggets contained in them. He and Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi persuaded

him to get the diary published. It appeared as Sri Ramakrishna Kathamrutha in

Bengali. It got translated into English as The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna and

further into many Indian and foreign languages and millions of copies were sold

inspiring many. In 1933, Mahendra Nath Gupta passed away. As per the

copyright act, 50 years after the death of an author, the copyright restrictions are


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further to their friends, like a chain mail or nuclear fission action. Such acts can

transform a society. Swami Vivekananda advised devotees to open their eyes,

look around and serve the needy to get peace of mind. But the service has to be

unselfish to get the benefit of peace of mind.

In late 19 th century, John D. Rockefeller was the richest and most famous oil

magnate of USA. He was very restless and was advised by a friend to visit an

Indian monk, Swami Vivekananda, who was staying nearby in 1894. Though

skeptical, one day he went to Vivekananda. He was told to wait as Swamiji was

deeply immersed in his study. The impatient and arrogant Rockefeller forcibly

went inside the study and announced that he was Rockefeller. When questioned

by Swamiji as to what he wanted, he replied that he did not want anything. ThenSwamiji simply asked Then why have you come here?. Swamiji then asked

him to sit down and narrated many incidents of Rockefellers life which were of a

very private and personal nature which none other than he knew. Rockefeller

then asked Swamiji as to how he came to know of these incidents. Swamiji said

that he could see through Rockefeller as though he was a glass almirah. He

advised Rockefeller thus You are not the owner of all your wealth. You are

only a custodian. If you do not want to be restless and wish to get peace of mind,

utilise this money for serving the poor and needy. Rockefeller walked away in a

huff. After a few days, he returned to Swamiji and handed over a paper which

stated that a very huge amount was being donated by Rockefeller for public

cause. He then wanted Swamiji to thank him for this generous act to which

Swamiji said On the contrary, you must thank me for giving you this advice for

getting peace of mind. Later on, Rockefeller went on to become a great

philanthropist by establishing Rockefeller Foundation for research in

Engineering, Medicine and higher science subjects, immensely benefiting

mankind all over the world. This is the trusteeship management principle. Later

on, the same was strongly championed by Mahatma Gandhi. The principle is

based on the assumption that the whole world is one and if some body is

suffering, you will also suffer directly or indirectly, as it is a holistic universe, as


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proved by the modern quantum mechanics. So, if you want to be happy, make

others happy. Enjoy your wealth and also utilise the wealth to alleviate the

suffering of the poor and you will get peace of mind. Bill Gates, the richest

person in the world with his Microsoft empire, is well known for his cut-throat

practices for building up his wealth. Recently, keeping aside just 10 million

dollars for his family out of his 32 billion wealth, he donated the rest to charity.

Last year, he was the person who had contributed the highest to charity. By

practicing this principle of trusteeship management, he is sure to get peace of

mind. If not 10% of ones wealth, at least 1% should be given to charity. Some

may not be in a position to give money. They could give 1% of their time or 1%

of physical labor or do any good activity for any good cause and get peace of

mind. Besides, one can practice all the four Yogas, Karma, Bhakti, Jnana andRaja, which will lead to infinite happiness, infinite joy, infinite peace and infinite

life, which is the very purpose for which we are born into this world.

HOW TO RETAIN TRANQUILITY AND PEACE OF MIND UNDER VARIOUS

CIRCUMSTANCES?

1. Quarrel in the family. Some times, there is a Mahabharata type of quarrel in

the family.

Here, I would like to narrate the story of an old Prime Minister O Oson who lived

in Japan in the 15 th century. His family consisted of 200 members who all lived

together with perfect harmony and happiness. Even the pet dogs of the family

would not fight with each other. The Emperor was anxious to know the secret of

this and called the Prime Minister. He requested the Prime Minister to give the

success formula so that he could circulate the same to all his subjects for

maintaining harmony in their families. The old man, with shaking fingers, wrote

on a paper, Forbear, Forbear, -------100 times and handed over to the Emperor.

Forbearance or tolerance is of paramount importance to live harmoniously in a

family, community or society. One who can tolerate will survive, one who cannot

tolerate will perish. It has been established that women have 10 times more

forbearance than men. In West, most families are broken. In India, the situation is


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not so bad till now. But old age homes have started coming up in India too.

Whenever I am invited to any old age home, I say that it is a good thing that old

age home concept has come up in India so that the elderly are taken care of. But

then I tell them that when you are reserving accommodation in them, instead of

reserving two for your parents, make it four because very soon you both also will

require the same, as your children are watching how you are treating your

parents. When a newly married bride comes to her husbands family, the mother-

in-law bosses over her for the first five years. After that the daughter-in-law takes

her revenge by ill treating her mother-in-law. Recently, I came across a young

college lecturer who felt that the generation gap with his students had developed

in just five years. Forbearance or tolerance can make a lot of difference in closing

or narrowing this gap. As for who will tolerate or sacrifice, one should rememberthe fact that old people cannot change their attitude or habits they are used to for

many decades. If the younger generation can make some sacrifices or develop

forbearance towards their elders, they can win the hearts of their parents and

parents-in-law within a short period. During my many years of counseling, the

parents and the children have been approaching me, turn by turn, complaining

against each other. The parents should realize that the children are quite

sensitive and therefore should become friends with them rather than being stern.

They should never scold or advise their children in the presence of the friends of

their children or other outsiders. This should always be done in private. This is

particularly true of mothers of teenage daughters. The parents should be

sensitive and understanding towards their old parents/parents-in-law and also

with their children. The present day children are very intelligent and observant.

So be role models to your children. The children get alienated from their parents

who fight or quarrel in their presence and seek love/attention outside, falling a

prey to bad company and habits. If the parents have to fight, do so when the

children are at school or away from home. The other alternative which I have

been recommending to many is, you earmark one hour, say 4 to 5 PM, once a

week, say every Sunday, as the quarrelling session. During this one hour, all

should freely come out with all their complaints/grievances of all incidents of the


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previous week. Points and counter points should be discussed so that there is no

miscommunication/misunderstanding or lack of communication. If everyone gets

a chance to articulate and communicate freely once a week in this manner, it will

be found that most of the time the complaint or grievance is due to

miscommunication or perceived misunderstanding and the same is cleared to

everyones relief. The quarrelling session should be followed by ice cream or

snacks or good food to generate a healthy environment, peace and harmony in

the family.

2. Death of a near and dear one. Death is always an irreversible loss and it is

difficult

to give any advice or sermon at that time. The following are the various steps tobe taken :-

(a) The grieving person should never be left alone. One or more persons

should invariably be with the person always.

(b) Though it is difficult to convince the grieving person to eat food, it must be

done. When the person is in depression/melancholy, first try at the mental

(Manomaya Kosha) or intellectual (Vijnanamaya Kosha) level by

counselling. If this does not work, try at the anatomical or physical

(Annamaya Kosha) level by feeding any light, easy to digest food. My own

experience of offering Prasad to a grieving person has always resulted in

the person becoming calm and getting peace of mind.

(c) Show sympathy or empathies with the person so that his sorrow should

come out with tears. This is a very important step. A grieving person who

does not shed tears and remains silent and brooding, could end up

deranged. I know of a young man who had lost his father recently, lost his

mother as well, refused to cry and is mad now.

(d) After a few days of death, sermons will help, particularly from Bhagavad

Gita, such as -- soul (Atman) forsakes body like old cloth to seek new

body, one who is born is sure to die one day and one who dies is sure to


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be born again etc. The life of the body or the age at which one dies is

determined by his Karma. There was a devotee who used to be very

regular in daily visiting a Panditji to listen to his discourse. When he did

not come for a few days and turned up again, he was asked by the

Panditji about his absence. He started weeping and said that his son who

was the only breadwinner had died. In order to calm the devotee, the

Panditji gave the sermon of soul leaving the body to seek new body and

one should not cry over it. A few days later, the Panditji was seen weeping

and when questioned, answered that his cow had died. When he was

reminded of his earlier advice not to cry, the Panditji retorted The son

was yours. The cow was mine. The ancient story of Gautami is relevant

here. She lost her young son and refused to bury him. She wanted himback alive. Any amount of counseling by others failed. Finally, some one

suggested that she visit Lord Buddha who was then in a nearby place.

After listening to her story, Buddha very calmly said Yes, I will bring your

son alive by reciting a Mantra. But the Mantra has to be recited with 10

mustard seeds which you have to get me from a house where none had

died. Hearing this, she felt very happy and said that she would

straightaway go and get the mustard seeds. She went from house after

house and found everywhere someone or the other had died. After failing

to get a house where none had died, despite her visit to dozens of houses,

she was dejected and went back to Buddha. Then Buddha explained to

her that anyone who is born has to die one day or the other and this reality

has to be accepted by all. The calmed Gautami came to terms with this

reality and went back to bury her dead son. In Mahabharata, when

Yudhishthira was asked by Yaksha What is the most wonderful thing in

the world?, his answer was Despite seeing someone or the other dying

all around, everyone in this world thinks that he is not going to die. There

was a person who spent a lot of time, money and energy to build a

beautiful bungalow, but died of heart attack and could not live in the

bungalow even for a day. After his death, his son sold off the bungalow as


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he did not like it. Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi was visited daily by an old

woman from a nearby village selling vegetables. She did not come for a

few days. When she came after one week of absence and was asked by

Mother why she did not come, she burst into tears stating that her young

son had died. Hearing this, the Mother started crying bitterly, attracting the

attention of all nearby. Finding that the Mother would not stop crying, the

old woman started comforting the Mother. The Mother then offered

Prasad to her and both calmed down. Empathizing with a grieving

person produces instant relief. In this game of life, like in any other game,

one has to accept the rules of the game birth and death are inevitable

and all have to accept this reality. Swami Vivekananda said that life and

death, happiness and misery, are the obverse and reverse of the samecoin. Instead of continuously crying or brooding over the death, pray for

the peace of the departed soul and also for the peace and wellbeing of the

living. This and this alone will bring peace of mind and tranquility to the

grieved who has lost his or her near and dear one.

3. Demon of anger. The demon of anger can play havoc with ones tranquility

and peace of mind. Those who are punctual, egoistic, strong willed and

perfectionist type get angry very soon. In foreign countries, the buses and

trains of the public transport system are punctual to the minute. But in India,

punctuality of any public transportation is a rare phenomenon. You may be

punctual, but others are not. So you have to do time management and adjust

accordingly. The principle Everything cannot happen the way I want; I will

strive to be punctual and manage my part as laid down or desirable, but what

is beyond my control, I will accept cheerfully should be followed. Having

less or no expectations from others is one of the ways to keep ones cool.

Another method of keeping anger in check is by compiling a weekly list of

how many times you became angry and for what reasons during the previous

week and then analyzing the same for controlling anger. Yet another method

of prevention of anger was explained by Swami Vivekananda in his book on


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Raja Yoga Have the opposite or anti wave of love when anger wave

comes in. For doing this, you have to keep the photograph of a holy person

in your purse or pocket and take it out and look for a few seconds when the

anger wave is about to come in. A similar method is chanting a holy Mantra

or doing Japa 10 times or simply counting digits up to 10 before the anger

wave sets in. But once the wave sets in, these preventive methods are of no

use. One other method is pouring cold water on the head of the angry person

for cooling down, as was done in case of young Vivekananda (Narendra),

when he was a child and used be uncontrollable. Remember never to

confront or counsel a person when he is angry.

4. Criticism. We are always afraid of criticism what others will think or say.Being afraid of criticism, we are unable to take proper and correct decisions.

The result is, we end up full of tension. In this context, the famous couplet of

Sant Kabir is significant While the elephants go, the dogs bark at them.

But unmindful, the elephants proceed without even giving a glance at the

barking dogs. In the same manner, you should also mentally say Let the

others bark; I am not going to bother as I am doing the right thing or taking

the correct decision. Criticism by others can also be taken in a positive light

for improving yourself in the future. Ishwarchandra Vidyasagar always used

to help others irrespective of criticism. He used to say that criticism is the

nature of people and you should not pay attention to that and carry on with

your work; if you pay attention to criticism, you will not be able to do good

work. Here the episode of the Ramakrishna Mission Hospital in Hardwar is

worth narrating. The Ramakrishna Mission was started in 1897 and in 1898 a

hospital was set up in Hardwar. It was run from a small hut for the first 2 to 3

years. Swami Vivekananda had sent his disciples to run the hospital saying

This is real service, not worship of God in temples, but worship of God in

human beings. In the course of treatment of the patients, the monks many a

time had to touch them, wash their wounds and give dressing. This infuriated

the local Sadhu Samaj, who did not allow the RK Mission people to come to


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weeping was not going to solve the problem, she had to be

courageous in facing the situation. If injustice had been done to her

innocent husband, she should get the best available lawyer and fight

the case bravely in the court. I gave her the message of Bhagavad

Gita, and somewhat comforted, she went away. Later when I was in

Switzerland, she gave me the message that her husband had been let

off with some adverse remarks in his records, but was saved from

being jailed.

(b) Then there is the story of a very old Nepalese King, who was well

known for his miserliness. Once there was a dance session in his

royal court with a pretty dancer, accompanied by a man on the

musical instrument. The prince, princess, rich merchant and manyothers were present. A passing monk also stopped by. The dance

session went on for one hour, two hours and so on till late in the night

and now morning was approaching. But the King would not present

the gift. The custom was that the King should be the first to present

the gift to the dancer and the others would follow for the dance

session to end. The dancing girl became so exhausted after hours of

continuous dancing and in desperation, she added a sentence of her

own while singing I am too tired now, no gift is forthcoming, I am

going to stop. Immediately, the accompanist also added a sentence

of his Very little of the night is left now, dont break the rhythm, all

efforts will go in vain, continue the dance as morning is not too far

away. Then the miracle happened. The merchant threw his costly

necklace to the dancer, followed by the prince and the princess also

throwing their necklaces. The monk did not have any costly gift to

offer, so he threw his blanket to the dancer. Seeing the traditional

custom broken, the King asked all of them for their explanations. The

merchant replied that the previous day he received the news of one

merchant ship of his sinking with its goods and was contemplating

suicide in the night, but hearing the words of the accompanist, he


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remembered that there were four more ships on their way whose safe

arrival news he was yet to receive. If they reached safely, he would

not be a total loser, though a little poorer, and this realisation

prompted him to give the gift. The prince said that since the King,

though very old and infirm, was not abdicating his throne in his favour

and hence he was planning to murder the King in the night. The words

of the accompanist saved him from committing regicide as the King

was in any case not likely to live long and he would inherit the throne.

The princess explained that since the King was not getting her

married, she was planning to flee the palace that night to marry

someone, but the words of the accompanist saved her from this

stigma. It was the turn of the monk to explain now. He said thatdespite many many years of practising austerity or Sadhana, he did

not realize God and hence was planning to get married and enjoy

some worldly pleasure, but the words of the accompanist saved him

from this stigma as he was sure to realize the fruits of practicing

austerities all his life very soon. The story underlines the need to have

patience and never give up or quit.

(c) There is the story of a brilliant medical student in Mumbai who always

stood first in all his examinations. But when the Final Year results

came, finding that he was the not the gold medalist, in a fit of

dejection, he committed suicide. After two days, the corrected results

came declaring that he indeed was the gold medalist.

(d) Another famous story is that of the gifted French opera singer Madam

Kalway who was in USA giving a concert. Halfway through the

concert, she felt very uneasy and said in the green room that she

could not continue. Despite the pleadings by others that the whole

show would be spoiled, she refused to continue as she felt something

terrible had happened and she could not perform now. Within half

hour, she received the news that her only daughter had died in an

accident of burning. She was shattered and contemplated suicide.


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Three consecutive attempts by her to drown herself in a pond failed.

Then her friends advised her to visit Swami Vivekananda who was

camping nearby to get peace of mind. On entering Swamijis room,

she was comforted by the words My dear daughter, why are you

suffering so much? This is not the end, this is not a defeat. Become

cheerful and be your old self again. Sitting beside Swamiji, she felt

immense tranquility, became composed and felt a new life in her.

Later on, as a devotee of Vivekananda, she went on a pilgrimage to

Egypt and other places. Many years later in 1911, after the passing

away of Vivekananda in 1902, she visited Belur Math in Calcutta. She

went to the room where Vivekananda used to stay and reminisced

how she was saved from committing suicide by Swamiji. The incidentillustrates the importance of seeking counseling when one is in great

distress or crisis. You unburden yourself with the counselor and it will

save the situation. During the last many years of my counseling, 50 to

60 girls/ladies with suicide on their mind have come to me. I am quite

happy to state that all except one were saved from this ultimate step.

(e) Prayer during a crisis also helps greatly. In Bhagavad Gita, Sri Krishna

says Surrender to Gods will. I will take all your troubles on me and

give you peace of mind. Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi also said I

am the mother of the wicked, as I am the mother of the virtuous.

Whenever you are in distress, just say to yourself, I have a

mother.

(f) There is the episode of the untouchable Adimoolam, who later on went

on to become a foreman in Visakhapatnam. In 1909 when the Mother

was in Bangalore, the boy Adimoolam used to visit the Mother

separately and she used to give him Prasad, as the other high caste

boys did not like the untouchable boy meeting the Mother along with

them. One day all devotees of Mother invited her for a Bhandara for

which she agreed on condition that Adimoolam also will be allowed to

partake. The Mother called Adimoolam early in the morning and when


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prepared for the worst and start afresh. This formula has given solace to many.

In his small book Work and its secret, Swami Vivekananda said Pay as much

attention to the means as to the end. Failures are the beauty of life. What would

be life without that? Life is not worth living if there are no failures. Try for 1,000

times. If you fail 1,000 times, attempt once more.

The Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi died in 1920. After the death of Sri

Ramakrishna in 1886, she lived for 34 years spreading Sri Ramakrishnas

message. Swami Vivekananda and all other disciples of Belur Math invariably

consulted her on all matters, though she held no official position. She had no

formal education, but had infinite practical wisdom. Swami Vivekananda could

not decide whether to go to USA and sought the blessings of the Mother. Whenpermission came from Mother, he was overjoyed and said that he would now

conquer the world, which he did in fact. He later said that he could spread the

message of Sri Ramakrishna far and wide because he was blessed by the

Mother. Just three days before she gave up her body, the Mother found her

devotees were feeling that they would be orphaned after she passed away. The

Mother consoled them saying Sri Ramakrishna would look after them. Then she

gave a message, which was her last, as she did not speak afterwards -- If you

want peace of mind, do not look at the faults of others. If you want to see faults,

see your own faults. No one is a stranger in this world. The whole world is your

own. This is the simple way in which she gave the essence of Vedanta, which

states that the world is one and it is a holistic universe. The modern quantum

mechanics also has come to the view that all particles of the whole universe are

interconnected at a deeper level and it is one super consciousness permeating

the whole universe.

In our day to day life, right from the time we get up, most of us are on a fault

finding mission and it continues the whole day, both at home and in the work

place. A management expert very wisely said Dont read newspapers in the

morning. They are sad, bad and make you mad. The front page of all


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newspapers in India carries negative reports of crimes, corruption, disasters,

accidents etc, while the positive news appear in small columns in the inside

pages. In foreign countries, they always carry the positive news on the front

pages and the negative news in the inside pages. While starting the day reading

all the negative news on the front page of the newspapers, our day starts on a

negative note and our mind is on the lookout for negative traits and faults in

others all around us throughout the day. With so much negativity, we lose our

peace of mind and then find that we do not get sleep at night and take

tranquilizers. This has become the lifestyle of most of us. This is where the

significance of the last message of Holy Mother comes in. Sant Kabir also said

When I try to see my faults, I find so many of them and in trying to correct them,

I do not have time to look at the faults of others. If we try to analyze ourselves,most of the time we will find that we are also at fault, may be partially. This self

analysis or introspection will help us in rectifying our faults and improving

ourselves.

Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi was full of compassion for everyone. She had the

strangest of companions living with her who were either full mad, half mad,

quarter mad or of abnormal behavior, with some of them even turning violent and

beating the Mother. Yet, she was the embodiment of tolerance and was always

calm and full of compassion. She was the mother of all and said to Sri

Ramakrishna that if some one addressed her as mother, there was nothing in

this world which she would not give him or her. She is the greatest role model of

modern women. The sheer love of Mother had reformed even dacoits. Once

when she was 24 years old, she was crossing a forest named Telo Balo, which

was notorious for dacoits, with a temple of Kali in her dreadful form, located

within the forest. Her companions left her behind as she was not able to walk fast

with them. She walked slow and when night came, she was still in the forest.

Suddenly, a ferocious looking dacoit appeared with a stick in his hand and asked

Who are you and what are you doing here?. Sarada Devi immediately replied

I am your daughter. Hearing this, the dacoit softened and he said that his


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wife was also with him. As soon as Sarada Devi saw the lady, she embraced her

and said Mother, it is good that you have come. I have lost the way. I was

thinking how I will reach Dakshineswar where your son-in-law is. Now that my

father and mother have come, please take me there. They both were melted by

hearing these words. She could conquer the hearts of a dacoit and his wife with

her dialogue.

During my interaction with A.P.J. Abdul Kalam in February, 2002 (he was not

President yet), when he had come to inaugurate a school building in Porbandar,

which the R.K. Mission had built as part of the post-2001 Bhuj earthquake

rehabilitation programme, I found him very eager to know about Sri

Ramakrishna, Sri Sarada Devi and Swami Vivekananda. He told me then thataccording to him, Swami Vivekananda was the saint who converted religion into

practical spirituality.

I will now take up some of the many questions which have been handed over to

me.

Q 1. What is important in life status, love, family or money?

A 1. All of them are important. But in order of priority, love is the most important.

After losing status or money, one can get them back again. But it is very difficult

to bear the loss of someone you love. In his beautiful book Art of loving, Erich

Fromm has dealt with this in detail. Swami Vivekananda, in his book Religion of

love, says that there cannot be infinite love between two finite realities, who are

all the time going towards death. There can be infinite love only between an

infinite Atman (individual soul) which is there within every one of us and infinite

Paramatman (universal soul) which is the infinite divine reality. This love is

everlasting. This does not mean that we should not love fellow human beings.

Every human being has in him or her the divinity and we should try to love that

person through the divine. Then there will be no problem. But if you are directly


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attached to that person there will be problem. Again in his book Work and its

secret, Swami Vivekananda says that attachment is the source of all miseries

and suffering. Therefore, we must have as much of attachment as that of

detachment to avoid pain and suffering.

Q 2. Whenever I sit for meditation, I get many bad and sometimes nasty thoughts

along with good thoughts. How can I avoid this?

A 2. This is most natural with all of us. In fact, if somebody says that when he sits

for meditation he does not get any distraction, he is either a great Yogi or there is

something wrong with him as he is different from others. In his book on Raja

Yoga, Swami Vivekananda says that our mind is like a monkey who is restless.Once there was a monkey who was restless and jumping. Someone made it

drink a lot of wine and the monkey started jumping more. Then a scorpion stung

it and it started jumping even more. Then a ghost entered its head and you can

imagine how much more it was jumping. Same is the case with our mind wine

of desire, scorpion of jealousy and ghost of ego or pride make our mind very

restless and difficult to control. It is very difficult to meditate with such a mind. So

the first requirement is to purify the mind so that it is bereft of these three evils.

Then the mind will gradually come to control. In Chapter 6 of Bhagavad Gita,

when Arjuna says that it is easier to control the wind by his fist, but difficult to

control his mind, Sri Krishna also agrees with Arjuna that mind is difficult to

control, but not impossible. Whereas in Chapter 2 of Bhagavad Gita, when

Arjuna had sat down saying he would not fight, Sri Krishna admonished him

This cowardice and unmanliness do not suit you. You are a brave hero. Get up

and fight. Lord Buddha also agreed that it is easier to fight singlehandedly with

1000 people, but more difficult to control the mind which wanders like a rogue

elephant. With the modern commercialisation of spirituality, the modern Guru

offers instant Samadhi in 35 dollars. Samadhi is the eighth step in Sage

Patanjalis Yogasutras and to achieve it, one requires years and years of practice

and dedication. It can never be instant like instant coffee. Patanjali says that by


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constant practice (Nirantara Abhyasa) at fixed times and by non-attachment

(Vairagya), you can control the mind to meditate properly. Sri Ramakrishna used

to give an example of what one can achieve by constant practice. He had gone

to see a circus where he saw an European artiste standing on a fast moving

horse. While the horse was passing through a big ring, the artiste jumped up

from the horse before the horse entered the ring and came back to stand on the

horse as the horse emerged out of the ring. Sri Ramakrishna said that this feat

was possible only by years and years of constant practice. Regarding non-

attachment, there is an interesting anecdote of four drunkards who went on a

picnic on a full moon night. They got into a boat and the first drunk started

rowing. After much time, the second, third and fourth rowed turn by turn and it

was morning by then. By now they had somewhat come out of their stupor, withthe sun having come up. One of them said Let us see where we have

reached. When they got out of the boat, they found that they were at the same

spot because they had forgotten to lift the anchor of the boat. Unless we lift our

anchor of attachment with the worldly objects and desires, no amount of constant

practice is of any use. So we can meditate only with simultaneous constant

practice and non-attachment. Non-attachment does not mean that we should

become a monk or nun, but we should have detached attachment like that of the

maid servant as explained by Sri Ramakrishna. Meditation and spiritual life are a

long term process; there is no short cut to practice. Do not expect any miracle

from practice. If one goes methodically practicing in a constant and regular

manner, the path is easier. When you sit for meditation, there will be many

thoughts coming up on all matters. Initially, it is a good method to have a

partnership deal with your mind. You allot the first 10 minutes for the mind to

wander around. After 10 minutes, you insist with the mind that its time is up and

now it is your turn to meditate for the next 10 minutes and you be allowed to be

free to do that. Since the mind was given freedom for the first 10 minutes, it will

leave you alone for meditation now. So regular practice and non-attachment are

to be rigorously followed for a long time to have good concentration of mind for

meditation.


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extremely poor. We started a school there where their children are studying and

they are now going to New Delhi for Republic Day parades. Some of their

students are so bright that one or two of them are shortly going to be IAS officers.

All this has been achieved by our mission despite no help or support from the

government and putting up with Naxalite attacks on our Swamijis. We have been

refusing to move out from there despite the lack of support and attacks on us

because we know that the tribal people there are in abject poverty and are

suffering. If we have to serve others who are in adverse conditions, we should be

prepared to undergo sufferings, face perils and at times risk our lives in the

process.

Q 6. When people on whom we believe and trust, deceive and betray us, how dowe handle the situation?

A 6. Sri Ramakrishna used to say Become a devotee; do not become a fool.

You should be intelligent and practical enough not to get cheated by others,

particularly with the outside show or glamour. You should not be carried away by

the wrapper; you should examine the content and then only accept it. There is

the story of the four salesmen in a jewellery shop. Each of them was wearing

identical shawls on which it was inscribed Hare Rama, Hare Krishna. When

anyone entered the shop, the first salesman would say Keshav, Keshav, the

second would say Gopal, Gopal, the third would say Hari, Hari and the fourth

would say Hara, Hara. Actually these were code words Keshav meaning

What type of person he is?, Gopal meaning Like cowherd, Hari meaning

Shall I steal their ornaments? and Hara meaning Go ahead, they are fools,

they are not going to notice it. The moral of the story is that you should be

practical and should not allow yourself to be cheated. Being cheated once is bad

enough, but if you are cheated again and again, there is something wrong with

you.


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Now we shall have a meditation session. There are many types of meditation

such as Vipassana, Prasanna, Zen, Zazen, Vedantic, Roop Dhyan, Guna Dhyan,

Vilachintan etc. You can adopt any type that is suitable to you. I will give you

some simple techniques which are commonly applicable to all types of

meditation. These are:-

(a) The backbone should be straight, whether you are in Padmasana,

Sukhasana or sitting in a chair.

(b) Before you start meditating, you should pray first for the welfare of all, so

that the mind is calmed.

(c) Concentrate on the heart centre.

(d) Visualise a divine light, that is the light of knowledge, at the heart centre.(e) While you are meditating, you should feel that the veil of ignorance is

going away.

(f) Simultaneously, you can mentally chant some Mantra like AUM or any

other Ishta Mantra you like.

(g) If you love or worship any holy personality such as Buddha, Jesus Christ,

Guru Nanak, Sri Rama, Sri Krishna, Sri Ramakrishna, Sri Sarada Devi or

Swami Vivekananda, visualise that personality within the divine light in

your heart centre, as it is easy to concentrate for meditation. Feel that the

holy personality is blessing you, you are becoming peaceful and your

ignorance is vanishing. These are the ideas we should have during

meditation.

I want you to start the meditation with the favourite song of Sri Ramakrishna

and Swami Vivekananda, both great singers themselves. This is the poem

written by the last Mughal Emperor, Bahadur Shah Zaffar, who was a great Sufi

poet. He saw God in everything and everywhere. The names of God, forms and

paths chosen by people of various religions and beliefs may be different, but they

all lead to the same goal. Sri Ramakrishna practiced all religions in turn and said

the same thing. It is the same universal message in all religions and Vedanta.


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Unconditional love and converting all human relationships into divine relationship

result in supreme and universal happiness, harmony, joy, peace and bliss.

We will now start meditating with the opening of the song and close our

meditation with the end of the song.

[The song starting with Tujh se hamne dil ko lagaya is played and the

meditation starts]

happines and peace in everyday life

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