Greater Portland Area Chapter Parents Of Murdered Children And Other Survivors Of Homicide Victims 14427 S. Forsythe Road Oregon City, OR 97045 (503) 656-8039, www.POMC.com/portland/

Parents of Murdered Children and Other Victims of Homicide Survivors— Monthly meeting for the greater Portland POMC Chapter. Meeting is held on the first Monday of each month at the Peace House, 2116 NE 18th Ave., Port-land. (See map below) Meeting begins at 7:30pm but is open at 7:00 for infor-mal time to sign-in, check out books, and socialize. Compassionate Friends—Meetings are held on the third Tuesday of each month at the Sunnyside Seventh Day Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market, Portland. Please call 503-248-0102 for more information. Crime Victims United—CVU is a group dedicated to changing the way the law relates to survivors of crime. Meetings are the second Tuesday of the month at the Wilsonville Denny’s Restaurant, located off I-5’s Wilsonville Road exit (#283). Contact the Vaughn’s at (503) 646-0171 or visit www.crimevictimsunited.org. Survivors of Murder and Vehicular Homicide—Meeting is held the second Thursday of each month at the Port of Woodland, 141 Davidson Avenue, Woodland, WA at 6:30 pm. For more information and location, please contact Delores Cook at (360) 425-8658 or (360) 751-8658 (cell). ROCK—Remember our Children and Kinship, a Compassionate Friends group led by Valerie Smith. Group meets the last Wednesday of each month and is held at 912 East Main Street, Battle Ground, Wa 98604 in the community center. Call Valerie at 360-904-2827 for more information. Unitingsiblings.com Amanda Harris, a member of our Chapter and the Valley of the Sun Chapter, has formed an online Sibling Support venue, also via phone or email. Amanda lost her brother Joshua to murder and understands the sibling grief in a way only siblings can. Contact her at either Amanda@advancedtx.com or 623-866-3189.

POMC Meetings are a time for sharing experi-ences and emotions. We share a common situation, so we are free to express any emotion: anger, sadness, frustra-tion, and laughter. We begin by sharing sto-ries, sometimes focus-ing on a particular topic. Occasionally, we invite a speaker. We come together to sup-port each other, not to judge. In order to maintain a safe place for sharing, we ask that anything said at a meet-ing remain confidential.

Chapter Leader Mary Elledge (503) 656-8039

Board Members: Mary Elledge, Chapter Leader Gayle Moffitt, Co-Leader (503) 761-1304 Delores Cook, Co-Leader (360) 751-8658 Irene James, Secretary Betty Groves, Treasurer Shirlene Guthrie, Parent Pat Schwiebert, Professional Advisor Rick Vaughn, Parent Cherrie Dodge, Associate Fund Raiser

Monday February 3

Tuesday February 18 Tuesday February 11 Thursday February 13 Wednesday February 26

Group meetings

What Happens At a meeting?

February 2014 Volume 33, No. 2

LISA A TAYLOR Lived 5/18/60 - 2/25/89

Daughter of Judy Walters

KIMBERLY JO GAYNOR Lived 6/9/62 - 2/25/89

Daughter of Judy Walters

KEVIN ANDERSON Lived 1/20/57 - 2/4/94

Husband of Sharon Bright

PETER ANDERSON Lived 2/28/60 - 12/21/87

Son of Dick & Mary Anderson

DANIEL J. SPOONHOWER Lived 3/25/60 - 2/4/96 Son of Meryl Hinton

LINDA KARLOVICH Lived 2/4/69 - 11/11/97

Daughter-in-law of Martha Karlovich Wife of Matt Karlovich

RAHSHANN D STONE Lived 7/18/78 – 2/7/98

Son of Anthony & Thelma Stone

TONI “NIGHT EAGLE” MARTINEZ Lived 12/12/50 –2/14/99 Daughter of Alice Brown Sister of Diana Martinez

ERIN TONNA REYNOLDS Lived 4/1/73 – 2/22/90

Sister of Beth Hendrickson

DAN M. HILLEBRANT (PRATT) Lived 12/26/74 – 2/7/98

Son of Sherry Lee Hillebrant Adoptive Son of Chrystal Martin

BRYAN EUGENE BARNES Lived 2/18/66 – 7/9/89 Son of Patricia Manze

Brother of Victoria Hawley

Our Loved Ones Remembered... KENNETH BOYER

Lived 2/16/65 – 12/31/95 Son of Ella Boyer

KRYSTLE ROSE COOK Lived 1/19/83 – 2/2/00

Daughter of Lee Cook, Jr. Granddaughter of Delores Cook

Niece of Lori Williams, Margaret Mayfield, Marcia D. Cook and George and Margaret

Martin. Cousin of Debra Brown

LANNY GENE McCUBBIN Lived 2/28/42 – 4/22/99

Father of Danielle Thomas

JED GAVIN THOMAS Lived 2/7/74 – 10/2/01

Son of Griff & Carolyn Thomas Brother of Mark, Michael, Lisabeth &

Kevin

KRISTINA GETTY Lived 5/22/78 – 2/5/02

Daughter of Cynthia & Brad Crosfield

KRISTIN L. MOORE Lived 5/17/82 – 2/25/95 Sister of Corey J. Moore

FOREST PAUL Lived 2/22/76 – 9/2/02

Son of Charlie & Bee Bee Paul

DIXIE LEE HARKOM Lived 2/14/43 – 10/17/2000

Sister of Sally Gaul Daughter of Joey Marty

HEATHER KAY DUNLOP DOB 2/21/76

Daughter of Ronald & Cathy McClure

CHRISTOPHER CARL FAHLGREN Lived 6/2/83 – 2/26/04

Son of Brian and Jodie Fahlgren

BETHANY A BOWER Lived 10/16/59 - 2/25/88

Daughter of Cathy J. Bower

AMY CHRISTINE DEXTER Lived 2/25/75 - 1/26/91

Daughter of Dawn Dexter

TINA MARIE KRISTYNIK Lived 2/28/66 - 9/18/85

Daughter of Rita Goldsmith

ANNE KEALEY HANSON Lived 2/17/64 - 9/18/88

Daughter of John & Tarri Hanson Sister of John Hanson

STUART MICHAEL HESS Lived 5/15/50 - 2/3/75 Son of Lois W. Hess

CHRISTINE K. MERTENS Lived 2/15/50 - 3/10/91

Sister of Linda K. Harrington

BRENDA KAYE WILLE Lived 4/25/62 - 2/23/89

Sister of Judy Oaks

NANCY I RAMIREZ Lived 2/13/73 - 11/12/94

Daughter of Edward & Marjorie Ramirez

NIKKI MASHELL VAUGHN Lived 2/8/66 - 1/28/88

Daughter of Rick & Joanne Vaughn Sister of Cristi Vaughn

Granddaughter of Hans & Viola Slette

BARBARA MAE TUCKER Lived 2/25/60 - 1/16/80

Daughter of Louise Tucker

LUCY ADELE EILERTSON Lived 2/26/98 – 11/24/98

Daughter of Mollie Uselman Daughter of Brooks Eilertson

Sister of Grant & Stella

THE OREGON/WASHINGTON POMC MEMORIAL IS COMPLETED.

After over five years of fund raising including a year of building, The Greater Portland Area Chapter is proud to announce that the Oregon/Washington POMC Memorial is now completed. The memorial was dedicated on Sep-tember 25, 2013. It was dedicated that day to coincide with the National Day of Remembrance for Murder Vic-tims. It is the eighth POMC Memorial in the United States and the only one in the Northwest. The memorial is located in Mountain View Cemetery at 500 Hilda Street in Oregon City, Oregon and was built to honor victims of homicide in Oregon and Wash- ington or victims of homicide whose loved ones live in Oregon or Washington. It is open from dawn to dusk daily. We encourage all to visit it and pay tribute to those whose lives were so cruelly taken and to honor their memory.

If you feel you need to talk, even through tears, the following individuals are ready to listen:

Delores Cook 360-751-8658 Barbara Norris (Vehicular Homicide) 360-751-2104 Rick Vaughn 503-646-0171 Shila Scardino (Sibling) 360-577-0725 Carolyn (Kip) Brown 503-502-7907 In Jackson County: Emma Adams 541-774-8187 In Curry County: Phoebe Krevi 541-813-1045 In Medford: Vicki Kelly 888-994-5437 In Coos Bay: Jen Shilling 541-297-6348 In Central Oregon: Kate Rohauer 541-410-7395

Jean Linn: POMC_PDX@Comcast.net Amanda Harris (Sibling): amanda@advancedtx.com

Telephone & Email Friends

MIKE RICHARDS Lived 11/18/74 – 2/6/03 Son of Karen Richards

MAUREEN PATNODE Lived 10/19/68 – 2/27/09

Daughter of Charlene Patnode

KEEGAN METZ Lived 3/7/07 – 2/8/09 Son of Caitlyn Metz

JONATHAN LIMANUAL HAYES Lived 9/25/82 – 2/5/11 Son of Sharon Hayes

DION MICHELLE WILKS Lived 1/12/78 – 2/1/03

Daughter of Gayle Ridderbusch

TONY KENNEDY Lived 2/21/77 – 7/8/99 Son of Karen Kennedy

JEFFERY GABOURY Lived 8/7/91 – 2/28/12

Loved one of Tara Linhart

CAROLINE SUE PURVIANCE Lived 2/2/52 – 2/13/13

Mother of Kathy Purviance

Our Loved Ones Remembered... JONATHAN JOHNSON Lived 9/7/69 – 2/5/2000

Son of Suzanne Johnson

JENNIFER ANNE LYNCH Lived 3/2/71 – 2/14/06

Daughter of Pat Norling Sister of Michael and Rosemarie

DONALD JAMES BROWN Lived 4/16/67 – 2/4/07

Son of Pat Kuiper Brother of Darcy Hesselgessen

SHARON COX Lived 8/31/49 – 2/7/00

Daughter of Shirley Mooney

MATTHEW C. HALLIGAN Lived 5/14/82 – 2/14/03 Son of Lee Jay Halligan

BRIAN LING Lived 2/16/56-3/10/64

Son of Craig and Robyn Ling

PATTI HONG Lived 4/20/62 – 2/25/09

Loved one of Kent Hong and Brian Hong

RANDY HONG Lived 1/12/86 – 2/25/09

Loved one of Kent Hong and Brian Hong

SHERRY DOHMAN-RICE Lived 3/8/55—2/28/09

Sister of Ilse Schuurmans

CHARLES DANIEL CALLAWAY Lived 2/28/75 – 11/16/07

Son of Phil and Karyn Callaway Brother of Jesse Callaway

GERALD E. STOMPS Lived 9/6/48 – 2/7/09

Brother of Scott Stomps and Shari Dallman. Loved one of Lori Stomps and

Brent Dallman

PORTLAND CHAPTER IS NOW FUNDING FOR

NEW WALL Due to the outstanding response to our pleas, we are ready to build an additional wall for our POMC Me-morial in Oregon City, Oregon. Attendance continues to rise, visi-tors are moved in its presence, and we continue to receive calls thank-ing us for remembering these vic-tims. We are grateful for the many compliments that we have been hearing and for the many letters of appreciation. The POMC Memorial Wall is a product of all of us work-ing together. We were hoping that we would not have to build the new wall for sev-eral years, but with our first wall nearly full, we will need to start as soon as we have enough funding. We must thank those who helped or supported us in the building of our POMC Memorial Wall. We appreciate all continuing help we receive. The new wall will be a beautiful addition to our memorial and complement the existing struc-ture. Please direct any organiza-tions or companies that may be will-ing to help fund the addition to Mary a t 503-701-3600 or elledge1@gmail.com. Donations can be mailed to POMC , 14427 S. Forsythe, Oregon City, OR 97045. Thank you so much.

FEBRUARY MESSAGE FROM MARY:

FEBRUARY 14TH REMINDS US THAT LOVE NEVER DIES

Valentine’s Day was one of my favorite holidays. It was also one of the hardest to get through after the murder of my son. I love telling my loved ones how much they are loved. I was always looking for little things to give them on that day. Decorating heart shaped cookies was a must. The first Valentine’s Day after Rob’s murder was unbearable. I dreaded the day. It took on a whole new meaning—another reminder that he was gone. As the twenty-eight years have gone by, the pain got softer. It was not that I loved him less. It was that I knew that I loved him just as much. I somehow knew that he was still with me. But, that does not stop my longing and aching heart. It does not stop the hole left by his loss. I keep thinking that all of us pay such a price for “love”. But, it is this same “love” that gave us moments that filled our very being. Moments that can never be taken away. What is so unbearable is getting to our “new normal”. We cannot be who we were before. It helps if the peo-ple who care for us or love us will allow us to mention our loss. It is painful when people say we should get on with our lives. The reason many people say this is that they do not know what else to say. In turn, we become hurt and alienate ourselves from friends who just don’t understand. It might help us is to get a better understanding of the grieving process. Many of us know by now that this journey is not for the weak. It is the hardest journey we will ever have to take. One of the reasons is that the pain is a necessary part of grief. We are in pain because we loved them so much. Unfortunately, losing a loved one because of a homicide compounds the loss and finding a “new normal” is disrupted over and over by the shock, anger, dis-belief, and cruelness of the actions of the murderer or murderers. Combining the horror of murder and the loss of a loved one can be unbearable. Co-victims of homicide are not given a choice. We cannot get by it or around it. We must go through it. What I hope can help you this February and especially on Valentine’s Day is to know that you are feeling and acting “normal” for what has happened to you. Some of the issues we face as co victims and part of the griev-ing process for those who lose loved ones violently are from the book, “love Never Dies” by Sandy Goodman:

• fatigue • memory loss • daydreaming • agitation • inability to focus • inability to finish tasks • excessive sighing • appearance of “doing better” and then slipping back • tension • magical thinking (“he or she will be back”) • suicidal thoughts • crying at odd times • intense need to mention the child or loved one and what has happened • depression

(Continued on page 6)

Gifts of Remembrance

Premier Manufacturing Company pays for our newslet-ter through the efforts of Jeanne Gianella. Jeanne’s son,

Billy Gianella was a victim of homicide (5/31/65—6/7/92).

Shawn Haddock in memory of all victims of homicide.

Marlene Young and John Stein

Memorial Donations

“YOU HELD MY HAND” SAYS IT ALL

(The following poem was written for the Portland POMC Conference and then turned into a song. It is also used at our Holiday Program. This February is a perfect time

to be thankful as well as understanding)

YOU HELD MY HAND

I never thought it would happen Nor I never thought it could be;

I never thought that things Would get softer For you and me.

You took my hand and held it—

Our pain just seemed to fit; You understood my broken heart

For we have seen our lives torn apart.

You just asked to hold my hand With nothing in return;

We hope our understanding Is a gift others will learn.

Thank you again for holding my hand

For you have made a softer me; It has lightened the pain I carry

As sharing is the key.

Mary Elledge

  THE TRIAL FOR RYAN JOHNSON  

BEGINS FEBRUARY 14, 2014 

Portland POMC members are being reminded that the  trial  for  Ryan  Johnson will  begin  on  January 14th, 2014 and  can  last as  long as  six weeks. Ryan was murdered on  January  26,  2012. The  trial will be  held  in Washington,  County. His  parents  are Tim and Melissa Davis.  If you are planning  to attend, please  call 503‐846‐8671  to be  sure  that  the  trial will be held on  that day. The judge in his case will be Judge Tom Kohl.  The man accused of the crime is Jeffrey Brian John‐son.  “Court Watch” is an important part of Parents Of Murdered Children. We hope  that as many as possible will attend the trial. 

 POMC'S Court Watch Program  is designed  to help  families maneuver  through  the court sys‐tem.  Two  of  the most  important  aspects    of Court  Watch  are  the  prevention  of  any  re‐victimization to family members, and the mini‐mizing of the emotional pain of going through hearings  and  trials.    If  you  would  like  support from POMC during hearings and trials or want to offer  assistance,  call Pat Elmore  at  503-312-5681 or Allen Tremain at 503‐522‐ 0577.  

The following names are set to be engraved and will be added to our existing “Oregon and Wash-ington POMC Memorial Wall”: Officer Robert Libke John A. Nordstrum Mia Lynn Clayton David Shane Polin Kristen Brydurm Eddie Ben Barela Lucia Chavez Barela Max Chamberlin Nathan Chales Hogue Walter Ackerson Jr. Samatha Lynn Effingham Erin Tonna Reynolds Dustin M. Finney Jeffery B. Walter Bobby Maes Angela A. Walker Angela Jean Burke Michael Grubbs Lynn Leeann Ring Joann M. Horstman Robert Harrington Joseph Ryan Pankonin David Anthony West Alla Bogdanov Candace Straub Carol Lynne Keightley Kurt Lydell Levias Jr. Ronald James Overstreet Paul Michael Wilde Cynthia Diane DeVore Laurie Linda Veneable Judyth Cox Ryanne Elizabeth Mace Dylan Berreth Day Chris J. Hamm Please e-mail, call or write to Mary Elledge at elledge1@gmail.com, (503) 656-8039 or POMC, 14427 S. Forsythe Rd., Oregon City, OR 97045 if any name is left out and needs to be added.

• guilt, shame and anger • intolerance of others less significant problems • lack of empathy

Though the author’s son died in a violent accident, her feelings mirror the many feelings we face as co-victims of homicide. Like all of us, she wanted to hear her son’s name over and over. We too want to hear stories about our loved ones. If we laugh or cry—even doing both together, it is okay. We want people to remember their birthdays and death days. This Valentine’s Day will be the year we might just get a Valentine card for them. It doesn’t matter if they are not here with us. We should not be denied finding just the right card for them. It is important to know that we are not alone. We should also remind ourselves that the love we had and shared with our loved ones will never fade. They will always be as near to us as our thoughts and they will never be replaced. Each of our loved ones is unique. They have left their footprints in our hearts and minds. Also, it is not unusual for many of us to feel like two people. As time moves one and if we have people who support us, we can have somewhat of a normal life. With hope and support we can be people who laugh, cry, love, think, work, share, help others, learn, and are able to enjoy life. Unfortunately, part of the other person we are is the person who lost a loved one to homicide. We do not want the murder to define us, but it changed our lives. Things that were so important take on a new meaning. We have lost our innocence. Most of us have changed our priorities. But, we do know now what is really important in our lives. We can celebrate this February 14th by remembering that love does last forever. We are living proof. Another thing we learned is that we never forget the people we love. This is what keeps them with us. This is what makes us survivors. I wish each and every one of you a wonderful Valentine’s Day. For all of us, it can be a day we know that “love is forever”. Our hearts tell us so. All my love, Mary Elledge

(Continued from page 4)

A D D I T I O N S

THANK YOU PAT KUIPER FOR HELPING WITH UNSOLVED CASES

The Greater Portland Area Chapter is proud to present the first article on unsolved cases written by Pat Kuiper. Pat has been waiting for seven years to see justice in the murder case of her son, Donald James Brown. Many of our members face the same scenario each day. Without justice, it is even more painful to be able to get to a “new normal”. We are hoping that others whose cases were not solved will join with us so that we can send a message that this is imperative for survivors of homicide and for the protection of society. Every unsolved case leaves a murderer going free. When there is no justice, those left behind feel betrayed and their loved one’s life seems devalued. Our justice system was built on the principle that everyone deserves justice. Yet, we see cases where this is not true. We are hoping that all of our members whose cases are unsolved will join us as well as those working in the justice system.

WE SHOULD STRIVE TO ACHIEVE JUSTICE FOR ALL PEOPLE

According to the dictionary, the word “Justice” relates to the process of using laws to identify wrongdoings and punish criminals guilty of them in a fair and just manner. The first known use of the term was in the 12th Century. The initial role of the Courts was to dispense justice fairly to everyone. Lady Justice is most often depicted holding a set of scales upon which she measures the mer-its of both sides of court cases – both the defense and the prosecution. You will often see her carrying a double-edged sword in her other hand, symbolizing the power of reason and justice, which may be wielded either for or against any party. After the 15th Century, Lady Justice has often been de-picted wearing a blindfold. The blindfold represents ob-jectivity, in that justice is or should be meted out objec-tively, without fear or favor, regardless of identity, money, power, or weakness; i.e. blind justice and impar-tiality. As we have progressed through the 21st century, it seems the new legal system no longer focuses on justice, but

instead on law enforcements fear of stepping on the rights of perpetrators. This leaves the unfortunate vic-tims and their families in a seemingly never ending pursuit of justice. Co-victims feel abandoned by the very people that are supposed to serve and protect them. Your case is now a cold case; authorities have moved on but without justice, you are “stuck” in this place where there is no peace. You try to relive all the beautiful memories of your loved one, but instead all you can think about is that your loved one was mur-dered and there has been no justice. Your friends will try to encourage you to move on to your “new” normal. For me at least, that is not possi-ble because “EVERYONE DESERVES JUSTICE”. My son, Donald James Brown, was murdered seven years ago on February 4th in Vancouver, WA. I will NOT stop my pursuit until justice is served. Please e-mail: pat.kuiper@yahoo.com or call Pat Kuiper at: 702-809-8654 to get your loved ones name listed in our newsletter. Feel free to contact Pat if you have any questions, or would like to share your story.

UNSOLVED CASES Lucy Eilertson (1998) Diana Moffitt (1987) Donald James Brown (2007)

Parents of Murdered Children & Other Survivors of Homicide Victims Greater Portland Chapter 19500 SW Teton Ave. Tualatin, OR 97062 CHANGE SERVICE REQUESTED

Non-Profit Organization

U.S. Postage Paid Portland, OR

Permit No. 4693

Important Notice Concerning This Newsletter: Each month a number of newsletters are returned due to delivery problems. In addition to the initial postage, return postage is

charged by the Postal Service. To minimize this expense, please write to the return address of this newsletter or contact Erin at Hondaerin2@aol.com if your address changes or you no longer wish to receive this publication.

Chapter Leader/Newsletter Editor Mary Elledge (503) 656-8039 14427 S. Forsythe Rd. Oregon City, OR 97045 Fax: (503) 656-4420 *Deadline for newsletter is the 1st of each month.

Newsletter Mailing/Newsletter Layout Erin Plunkett E-mail: Hondaerin2@aol.com *Write for change of address to: 3312 Canyon Lake Dr. Las Vegas, NV 89117

Newsletter Proofreaders Irene James Shirlene Guthrie

Crime Victims United Rick Vaughn (503) 646-0171 www.Crimevictimsunited.org Portland POMC Website www.pomc.com/portland/

POMC National Headquarters 4960 Ridge Ave, Suite 2 Cincinnati, OH 45209 Toll Free (888) 818-POMC National POMC Website www.pomc.com Portland Area District Attorneys’ Offices Phone Numbers: Multnomah County (503) 988-3162 Washington County (503) 846-8671 Clackamas County (503) 655-8431 Yamhill County (503) 434-7510 Marion County (503) 588-5222 Columbia County (503) 397-0300 Clark County, WA (360) 397-2261 *These DA’s offices contain their own Victims Assistance departments. You can contact both using these numbers.

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