grace under pressure
DESCRIPTION
Grace Under Pressure was presented by Eileen Nielsen at the Calvary Fellowship Women's Retreat on June 28, 2014. Calvary Fellowship is located at 501 E Swedesford Rd, Wayne, PA 19087 (610) 687-5155 website: cfbible.org email: [email protected] We are a Bible church. All welcome to join us on Sunday service at 10:30 am.TRANSCRIPT
GRACE UNDER PRESSURE:Navigating life’s stresses
1
Sunday, July 6, 14
Our lives can often feel like we’re living in a pressure
cooker.
2
Sunday, July 6, 14
Pressure pushes in from every side.
3
Sunday, July 6, 14
And these everyday pressures produce stress.
4
Sunday, July 6, 14
What kind of tools can help you deal with stressful events, and their accompanying fall out?, ie. negative feelings,
thoughts and actions.
5
Sunday, July 6, 14
Definition of a stressful event:
6
Sunday, July 6, 14
A Stressful EventCan be AnythingThat is Beyond
Our Control
Sunday, July 6, 14
Common Events
Little Frustrations
Other Peoples’ Behaviorwork
Health Issues
The Computer
money
misunderstandings
Sunday, July 6, 14
OUR PURPOSE IS...
...learning to process life events using Biblical truths and examples to help us navigate life’s stresses
well.
9
Sunday, July 6, 14
Remember that stress, or any painful experience, has a
purpose.
10
Sunday, July 6, 14
OUR HOPE IS... to use daily stresses as opportunities for
growth and change.
11
Sunday, July 6, 14
OUR GOAL IS...is to become wise women.
12
Sunday, July 6, 14
WISDOM:Japanese character for wisdom translates to “chi” or knowledge
and “megumi” or grace.
13
Sunday, July 6, 14
What happens when we are under stress?
14
Sunday, July 6, 14
EventValues Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
Sunday, July 6, 14
EventValues Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
3
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
5
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
TryHarder
Sunday, July 6, 14
Biblical Tools for Stress Management
Keeping God at the Center of Life
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
5
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
TryHarder
Sunday, July 6, 14
Pray:Acknowledge and Submit to
God’s Sovereign Control Over All Events
Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:6, Luke 22:42
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
5
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
TryHarder
Sunday, July 6, 14
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
1.Think: Tell yourself the truth
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Text
Sunday, July 6, 14
28
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. ~William James
Sunday, July 6, 14
Are there thoughts thatneed to be challenged?
Philippians 4:8
1. Tell yourself the truth
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
ACTIVITY: Check the FactsDoes your emotions fit the
situation?
30
Sunday, July 6, 14
2. Do What is Right
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
Are there behaviors that need to change?
Genesis 4:6-7
2. Do What is Right
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
Activity #3: Taking action
33
Sunday, July 6, 14
3. Be honest with feelings
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
Are there feelings that need to be shared?
Psalm 62:8, 142:1-4, 55:22
3. Be honest with feelings
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
Sunday, July 6, 14
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
2. Action: Do what is right3. Feeling: Be honest with feelings
1.Think: Tell yourself the truth
Sunday, July 6, 14
ACTIVITY #4: Journaling“If you want to change the
world, pick up a pen.”~Martin Luther
37
Sunday, July 6, 14
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings
1. THINKING - HEAD
3. FEELING - HEART2. DOING - HANDS
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking - Doing - Feeling
39
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
5
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
TryHarder
Sunday, July 6, 14
Strategies for Managing
Self-Concept
Sunday, July 6, 14
Sunday, July 6, 14
Physical Appearance
Possessions
Performance
Professions
Position
Power
Sunday, July 6, 14
Grace
Sunday, July 6, 14
Law
Sunday, July 6, 14
Law Sin
“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20
Sunday, July 6, 14
Law
Grace
SinSunday, July 6, 14
Grace
Grace Applied to Ladder Thinking:1. The Ladder and Common Grace2. The Ladder and Saving Grace3. The Ladder and Sanctifying Grace4. The Ladder and Serving Grace
Sunday, July 6, 14
Discussion: How do I know when I’m “ladder” thinking?
49
Sunday, July 6, 14
Godly Self-Concept:The Bottom-Line Defense
• Practices of positive self-concept:– Focus on action– Living consciously– Self-acceptance– Self-responsibility– Self-assertiveness– Living purposefully
50
Sunday, July 6, 14
Self-Concept manifested in the Church:• Connectedness (smalls groups)• Giftedness (unique qualities)• Empowerment (accessing the HS’s help)• Role models or mentors (godly women)• Calculated risk taking (“I can do all things
through Christ who strengthens me.”)
51
Sunday, July 6, 14
Event
1
2
34
5
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts
1
Lose Control
NegativeFeelings
Self EsteemDrops
RelationshipsDeteriorate
TryHarder
Sunday, July 6, 14
Building Godly Relationships Through:
1. COMMITMENT2. COMMUNICATION3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Sunday, July 6, 14
WORKING TOGETHER1. COMMITMENT to
Building Godly Relationships Through:
Sunday, July 6, 14
COOPERATION
• RETALIATION• DOMINATION• ISOLATION
Sunday, July 6, 14
2. COMMUNICATION
Building Godly Relationships Through:
at HEAD and HEART levels
Sunday, July 6, 14
COMMUNICATION
• BONDING at HEART Level
Connecting Emotionally
Share Care
Sunday, July 6, 14
COMMUNICATION
• CONNECTING at HEAD Level
Sharing Ideas &Sharpening Thoughts
Proverbs 27:17
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking LevelReality Testing
Person 1Sharing Hearing
Responding&Person 2
Feeling LevelSharing & Caring
Person 1 Person 2
Ideasof
Sharing
Feelingsof
Caring
Feelingsfor
Sunday, July 6, 14
FeelingPerson 1
Person 2
Thinking
Heart Level
Head Level
Sunday, July 6, 14
ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES
IsolationDependency
Co-dependencyControl
Manipulation
DistanceSilence
ColdnessUncooperative
Enmeshment
Sunday, July 6, 14
ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES
Isolation Enmeshment( )Interdependency
Sunday, July 6, 14
3. CONFLICT
Building Godly Relationships Through:
RESOLUTION
Sunday, July 6, 14
Strategies for Conflict Resolution
Distinguish betweenTHINKING and FEELING
levels of communication
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking Level Strategies
1. Clarify. Don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Listen to what they are saying. Keep communication
open. Ask questions. Draw out hisor her thoughts.
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking Level Strategies
2. Don’t attribute motives to the other person.
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking Level Strategies
3. Negotiate. Compromise. Collaborate. Accommodate.
Sunday, July 6, 14
Thinking Level Strategies
4. Agree to disagree. Reaffirm your commitment to the person and
your relationship with them.
Say, “I respect you, and I want to retain a good relationship with you, I don’t want this to come between us. I respect your
opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.”
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
Held Hurts Become BarriersWE HIDE & WE HURL
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
1. Identify the hurts in both persons.
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
2. Express concern for the other person’shurt. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, I want you to know that I care about your feelings.”
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
3. Take responsibility for your part in causing the other person’s hurt by asking forgiveness. “Will you forgive me for…”
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
4. Forgive the other person for what you have been holding. “I forgive you for…I don’t want this to be a barrier in our relationship any longer.”
Sunday, July 6, 14
Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict
5. Manage your leftover feelings to the glory of God. a. Tell yourself the truth. b. Do what is right. Act out love.
c. Share feelings with God.
Sunday, July 6, 14
CONCLUDING REMARKS:
How is your tool belt?
75
Sunday, July 6, 14
Stress Management:“ I happen to believe that good
stress management is as much a matter of spirituality as it is of self-disciple...faith can play a major role in determining how
chaotic our lives become.”
76
Sunday, July 6, 14
FINAL ASSIGNMENT:
TAKEN FROM:“Spiritual Antidotes for Stress”
ANXIETY CUREby Dr. Archibald Hart
77
Sunday, July 6, 14
Jesus: Model of Unhurriedness
“Having a spirit of unhurriedness is the essential foundation for the tranquillity we need to protect us
from the ravishes of anxiety.”
78
Sunday, July 6, 14
Learning the practice of unhurriedness:
Jesus modeled balanced priorities, modeling calmness and
composure.Matt. 11:28
79
Sunday, July 6, 14
Healthy faith fosters protection from stress.
Jesus’ life can teach us a lot about spiritual antidotes for stress,
Mark 4:38
80
Sunday, July 6, 14
CLOSING ASSIGNMENT:
Luke 10:38-42
81
Sunday, July 6, 14
Strategies for Stress Management
1. Monitor Your Stress Reactions 2. Identify Stressful Events 3. Apply Biblical Principles 4. Control What You Can 5. Keep a Realistic Schedule 6. Have an Exercise Program 7. Strong Devotional Life 8. Functioning Support Network 9. Healthy Conflict Management 10. Balance and Boundaries
Sunday, July 6, 14
The Rest Road83
Sunday, July 6, 14
The “how-to” of making good choices?
The Biblical concept of rest is often presented as two choices.
84
Sunday, July 6, 14
The stress way...“Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for
the eternal paths,where the good, old way is,
and you will find rest for your souls.
But they said, “We will not walk in it.”
~Jeremiah 6:16 (AMP)
85
Sunday, July 6, 14
How to “test” the path?Step 1: Pray for wisdom/
discernment.Step 2: Is this the best
stewardship of my time, money, energy, etc..
Step 3: Fear of man/fear of God test (Prov. 29:25).
Step 4: Is this an area I need to draw a boundary?
86
Sunday, July 6, 14
If you are still uncertain...
Brainstorm Activity: Use your table mates and find out what they’ve found to be helpful in this area.
87
Sunday, July 6, 14
Acknowledgements:
Power Point: “Stress”, Adapted from (and used with permission) by Lee Hotchkis
Books:“Stress Mess” by Lee Hotchkiss
“Anxiety Cure” by Dr. Archibald Hart“Boundaries” By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John
Townsend 88
Sunday, July 6, 14