Getting your paper back- DON’T PANIC!1. Review the comments – on the rubric AND on

the paper2. Research how to fix your errors – use the tools

you have: Your book, the internet• For example – if you have a problem w/ Run-

ons or Fragments, research in your book how to fix them.

3. If your grade is below a 75, ask about resubmission.

Effective sentences

Chapter , pg 125

What’s wrong with these?• In accordance with your

instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

• There will be a discussion tomorrow on the problem of adultery in the minister’s office

• Passes will not be given to members until the manager has punched each of them first.

Assignment• Jigsaw: form into 4 groups• Each group will be assigned to make

a poster of one (1) subtopic within “developing effective sentences”

• You will have 20 minutes to create a poster

• Posters will be presented to the class

Develop a Clear Style• Give your sentences content– Look @ bulleted sentences on pg 126.– How could you put more information into each.

• Make your sentences specific– Vague to SPECIFIC

• Avoid Over-packing your sentences• Fix fragments• Pay attention to word order• Avoid mixed constructions and faulty

predication

Practice what you’ve learned, pg 1341. There’s a new detective show on television.

Starring Phil Noir. It is set in the 1940’s. According to TV guide.

2. Roger’s marketing skills made him important to his company’s sales department. I can’t help but wonder if he’s welcome.

3. Biofeedback: How to Stop It has so many funny and sarcastic comments about California self-help fads, I couldn’t put it down.

4. The magician became disillusioned when his assistant stole the disappearing rabbit, the magic wand and the invisible ink.

1. According to TV Guide, the new detective show on TV stars Phil Noir and is set in the 1940s.

Developing a concise style• Avoid deadwood constructions• Avoid redundancy• Carefully consider your passive

verbs• Avoid pretentiousness

Developing a lively style• Use specific, descriptive words• Use specific, precise modifiers that help

the reader see, hear, or feel what you are describing

• Emphasize people when possible• Vary your sentence style• Avoid overuse of any one kind of

construction of the same sentences• Don’t change your point of view between

or within sentences

Developing an emphatic style

• Use specific, descriptive words• Use specific, precise modifiers that help

the reader see, hear, or feel what you are describing

• Emphasize people when possible• Vary your sentence style• Avoid overuse of any one kind of

construction of the same sentences• Don’t change your point of view between

or within sentences