Gender-Healthy KidsGender-Healthy Kids Gender-Healthy KidsGender-Healthy Kids

Sue BohlinSue Bohlin

Probe MinistriesProbe Ministries

www.probe.orgwww.probe.org

Gender Matters!

• Supporting our kids’ gender results in a healthy self-concept

• Gender differences between boys and girls are designed by God

• Gender Spectrum

Celebrate Gender Differences

• Boys get their sense of self from achievement. They are wired to be self-reliant. (Greatest fear: failure)

• Girls get their sense of self from relationships. They are wired to be interdependent. (Greatest fear: abandonment)

Celebrate Gender Differences

• Boys are linear in their thinking; girls are more intuitive.

• Boys can focus on one thing at a time; girls are multi-taskers and enjoy the process.

Celebrate Gender Differences

• Boys tend to be competitive; girls tend to be cooperative.

• Boys are action-oriented; girls are more verbal.

• Boys’ hostility is physical; girls’ is verbal.

Celebrate Gender Differences

• Boys bond shoulder to shoulder• Girls bond face to face• Girls tend to be empathetic

nurturers. • Boys tend to be aggressive

nurturers.

Affirm Children’s Gender

• Affirm boys in their masculinity and girls in their femininity

• Reassure the primary questions of their hearts:– “Do I have what it takes?”– “Am I beautiful?”

Affirm Children’s Gender• You can be a good strong male

without playing sports.• You can be a soft, feminine lady

and be an athlete or strong leader.• Sensitive, creative types make

great husbands, pastors, counselors.

• Support the social distinctions of masculinity and femininity

• Specify what men/women and boys/girls do that is different.

Celebrating Gender Differences in School

• Male brains and female brains

• 3 parts1. Brain stem: instinct,

fight/flight2. Limbic system:

experience emotions3. Upper brain (4

lobes): thinking

Girls’ Brains

• LEFT BRAIN: verbal skills (speaking, reading writing)

• Mature earlier than boys’ brains• Corpus callosum up to 20% larger than

boys’ brains: more cross-talk between hemispheres

• Better at impulse control than boys

Boys’ Brains• RIGHT BRAIN: spatial skills

(measuring, direction, objects in space)• Mature later than girls’ brains; later

speech and reading development• Fewer neural connections between

hemispheres: brain activity focused in one area at a time

• More developed in right hemisphere: better spatial abilities: measuring, mechanical things/design, geography, maps

Social difference s• Girls: bond first, ask questions

later• Boys: be aggressive first, ask

questions later• Girls: manage social bonds by

alliances• Boys: manage social energy by

dominance and pecking order

On the Playground• Boys: physical, rough and vigorous,

competitive, aggressive• Girls: quieter and less active, more

cooperative• Boys: ignore newcomers till they

prove their worth and value• Girls: greet newcomers more

warmly

Movement• Boys: Movement enhances learning• Movement manages and relieves

impulsive behavior• Lower serotonin + higher metabolism =

natural fidgeters• Boys use more space than girls for play

and learning• Give boys things to do and quiet toys to

play with while listening and learning

Honoring Boys• Let them move around• Give them something to manipulate• Give them time to think and to process

strong emotions (30-second wait time)• Let them engage in aggression play and

expression • Encourage them to open up by not

demanding that they look at you. • Warn them a few minutes before a

transition.