GamingBy the ranter, TheChrisD – thechrisd.com

What is gaming? The art of playing video games on one of

many formats. In a way, the art of playing board or card

games – but not as much. It is not the art of playing Snake, or

whatever iPhone app on your phone on those boring bus/train/tram journeys.

It also means something else (as in “to game the system”) but that’s not important right here.

The formats Xbox 360 PC Nintendo DS Nintendo Wii Playstation 3 …and other ones

no-one else really gives a crap about

What is a gamer? Generally a gamer is someone who plays

video games - which can be broken down into four major types:

1. Casual gamer – The wimps2. Hardcore gamer – Spends as much time as

possible playing games.3. Retro gamer – Boring old noobs.4. Import gamer – Someone who really should just

move to Japan already.5. Pro gamer – Like the hardcore, only they make

money out of it.

Becoming a gamer Purchase your preferred format With the exception of Nintendo consoles,

come up with your handle/persona/gamertag: a genuinely annoying name using a combination of as many i’s, x’s, l’s and numbers as possible.

Join a clan or gaming group that contain the words “Pro”, “Uber”, “Leet/1337” or other similar important-sounding words in the title.

Achieving the mindset of a gamer1. Compare everything to a well-known video

game, and2. Learn a wide vocabulary of profanities, and

memorise key insult phrases.3. Constantly brag about your skills, even

when you have none whatsoever.4. Over-react to every minor accomplishment

you happen to make, in order to inflate your ego.

Retro Gaming

Only good if: Modern revamp or

re-write (Ikaruga, Jetpac Refuelled)

Open Source version (OpenTTD)

ROM Hack (VIP series of Super Mario World hacks)

Baby Bear in gaming