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Running head: FATHER ABSENCE: BOYS VS. GIRLS

Father absence: Is there a difference between boys and girls?

Carrie Pilant

Angelo State University

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Father absence: Is there a difference between boys and girls?

Fathers are important. They provide half the genetic material and are the

most valuable support person for the mother during pregnancy and childbirth.

The father also has many important roles during childhood. When the father is

present at home, he can help out emotionally, as well as economically for his

family.

What happens if the father is absent? There has been a vast amount of

research done on father absence, and it all concludes the same thing: Father

absence has a negative impact on the development of children. Are the

developmental problems the same for both boys and girls? Who has the worse

fate? Can anything be done for these children who are destined to live without a

father?

Background

“Absent fathers are defined as those who do not interact with their children

on a regular basis” and do not play an important role in a child’s development

(Krohn & Bogan, 2001, p. 598). The stability of a father is critical in the

upbringing of children.

Research in every major ethnic group of America, in dozens of nations

internationally, and with several hundred societies in two major cross-

cultural surveys suggest that children and adults everywhere – regardless

of difference in race, ethnicity, gender, or culture – tend to respond in

essentially the same way when they experience themselves to be loved

and unloved by their parents (Rohner, 1998, p. 157).

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Previous evidence had supported that father’s love was just as crucial to

the cognitive development of a child as mother’s love. Mother’s love was

considered the highest rank above all for more than 200 years. It was just recent

findings that father’s love and the presence at home can profoundly affect a child

indefinitely. In fact, evidence in the last decade suggested that the changing

behaviors of children were more closely related to the type of father one has than

the type of mother (Rohner & Veneziano, 2001). Brody, Moore, and Glei (1994)

proved in their 6-year longitudinal study that “paternal warmth had a significant

long-term effect in shaping adolescents’ attitudes in 1987 toward such social

issues as marriage, divorce, sex roles, child support, welfare, and teenage

childbearing” (Rhoner & Venenziano, 2001, p. 396).

Father and Son Relationships

Fathers can impact every aspect of a boy’s life. Strong evidence (e.g.,

Floyd & Morman, 2003; Jones, et al, 2003) supports that boys without fathers

have profound consequences in their lives. “A growing body of research reveals

the tremendous influence the father-son relationship exerts on academic

achievement and overall psychological adjustment” (Rossi, 1998, p.1). Boys,

who have been identified as underachievers, are linked to single parent families,

mostly without the father. The insecurity boys feel without the presence of a

father results in their school failures. They lack the confidence and drive it takes

to achieve a successful academic career and in life. Some drop out of school

and others go on to live mediocre lives.

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Jones, Kramer, Armitage and Williams (2003) conducted a study of 50

adolescent Caucasian boys between the ages of 14 and 17. There were two

groups, each contained seven 14 year-olds, ten 15 year-olds, six 16 year-olds,

and two 17 year-olds. One group selected 25 boys who were living in homes

with both biological parents and the other group selected 25 boys who were living

in homes without the presence of a father. Fathers were not residing in the home

because of divorce, separation, or desertion. There were no fathers absent due

to death. The average age of the boys when the father left the home was about

7 years old.

Socioeconomic status was measured with the Index of Status

Characteristics (ISC), which measured four separate dimensions of status:

occupational status of both parents, source of income, type of house, and

dwelling area. Both groups fell into the middle- to upper-middle-class range and

there were no significant differences between the groups.

The boys in the homes without the fathers were residing with their

biological mothers at the time of the study, and for a minimum of 1 year there had

been no biological or father surrogates in their homes. “To qualify for

participation in the study, a boy had to have had some form of contact with his

father since the time the father initially left” (Jones, et al, 2003).

A questionnaire was developed for the study, which gathered general

background and demographic information and any other important data

regarding the relationships of the boy and the parents. The boy’s perception of

the relationship he had with his mother and father were measured using a Likert-

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type scale ranging from very poor (1) to very good (5). The frequency of contact

with the non-resident father was measured on a 7-point scale ranging from every

6 months (1) to daily (7).

Separation – Individuation Test of Adolescence (SITA) was used to test

revelations of the separation – individuation process. “The SITA is a 103-item

self-report inventory contained on nine subscales that measure specific

manifestations, resolutions, fixations points, and milestones signifying the healthy

progression of Mahler’s separation – individuation phases” (p. 80). The test was

measured on a 5-point Likert-type scale that ranged from strongly agree or

always true for me (5) to strongly disagree or is never true for me (1). Higher

scores on the SITA’s subscale represent higher degrees of separation-

individuation.

Jeffery Hoffman developed the Psychological Separation Inventory (PSI).

It was used in this study to measure psychological separation from the father.

The PSI is a 138—item inventory that consisted of four subscales. The

participants rated their responses on a 5-point Likert-type scale ranging from

never for you (1) to always true for you (5).

Several helpful findings evolved from this study. The boys with

nonresident fathers did not differ in any way with the boys who had fathers in

their home. Obviously, an assumption was made prior to the findings that boys

without fathers in their home would exhibit negative manifestations of the

separation-individuation process. This study did not confirm this assumption. An

explanation was presented that the absence of differences might lie in the

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population studied. The nonresident father group was “a well-functioning,

nonclinical group of boys” (Jones, et al, 2003, p.88). Another reason might be

the fact that the boys were 7 when their fathers left. They had already passed

through the initial separation-individuation sub phases. Since both parents were

present in earlier years of life, there may not be such an impact on a boy’s life.

Most boys in the nonresident father group still had contact with their

fathers, which may effect the separation-individuation manifestations. There

were other variables in the boy’s life and personality that were not assessed in

this study. The boys knew they were being interviewed and observed, which

could cause bias answers. It was hard to obtain accurate findings.

Why did Jones, Kramer, Armitage and Williams (2003) study have an

outcome that was unexpected? Does socioeconomic status play a contributing

factor? Does father absence only effect boys if they have a low social and/ or

economical class?

Floyd and Morman (2003) would disagree. According to the pair, the

father-son relationship might be the most “socially significant male-male

relationship in the life course” (p. 599). Regardless of race, age, ethnicity, or

culture, fathers have the most influence on their sons than any other person in

their life, especially in childhood.

Rohner & Veneziano (2001) found that when the relationship between a

father and son was warm and loving, the boys were more masculine. So would

the presence of a father be required? Can a father be warm and loving and only

visit his son twice a year?

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Webster’s dictionary (1990) defined warm as sympathetic or loving.

Loving is defined as feeling or expressing love, which means strong affection or

liking for someone, passionate affection. Fathers need to be hands-on with their

sons to show how much they care. Sons need their fathers to teach them to

catch, hit a homerun, drive a car, or ask a girl on a date. It is hardly a job that

can be done over the telephone and a once every 6-month visit. Boys need

father figures, masculinity that only comes from his father. They tend to become

aggressive in the absence of a father. Boys are more likely to express both male

and female characteristics without the father present.

Father and Daughter Relationships

A father can be the most important influence on a little girl’s life. While

mother’s love is a very significant key factor, fathers can help shape a young

girl’s mind for her relationships with the opposite sex. “There is no substitution

for a father’s love and while many females are able to succeed there still exists

some part of them that longs to be ‘daddy’s little girl’” (Krohn & Bogan, 2001, p.

606). Fathers tend to protect their daughters differently than their sons. Girls are

inclined to receive their security from their fathers. When fathers are absent, the

“warm and fuzzy” feelings usually are not present. Young girls have the

tendency to grow up too fast, thus looking to young men to feel the void of a

missing father.

Krohn & Bogan (2001) conducted a study on the effects that absent

fathers have on their daughter’s development and college attendance. The limits

of academic achievement that females endured as a result of not having a

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present father figure were examined. Researchers agreed that females suffered

from diminished cognitive development and poor school performance as a result

of absent fathers. Children without fathers had also been known to have weaker

mathematical than verbal skills and had difficulty adjusting to others.

Mathematics had been linked with masculinity therefore; females without fathers

had less interest in this subject matter.

The pair examined the elementary and secondary academic performance

of the young girls before they analyzed their college attendance. Father absence

affected how they performed on achievement tests and IQ tests, eventually

influencing their academic college career.

Security was another key element in shaping women’s development.

Women without a father lacked a sense of protection, which led to feelings of

discouragement. Consequences of these circumstances caused teenage

pregnancies, dropping out of college, never attempting college and low self-

esteem.

Krohn & Bogan (2001) concluded that father absence affects female

development and college attendance by affecting their cognitive

development and school performance, interaction with both children and

adults, interest and success in mathematics, risk of teenage pregnancy

and high school drop out, and their ability to make sound decisions (p.

606).

Pollack and Friedman (1969) compared daughters of widows, divorcees,

and intact families. They concluded that

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There was no noticeable difference in the girls’ behavior before

adolescence, but then daughters of divorce sought much more attention

from men and more physical contact with boys their age than girls from

intact homes. Daughters of widows on the other hand avoided contact

with males. The adolescent girls of divorce had the most contact while the

daughters of widows had the least. However the daughters of divorce

were more critical of their fathers, while girls whose father had died felt the

saddest about the loss of their father (p. 106).

The truth is fathers encourage independence. A father-daughter

relationship that is positive and secure allows women to feel confident and

successful in their lives. Daughters need the example of how a man thinks, who

and what he is, and fathers are the key to teaching their daughters this

information.

In Greek mythology, the goddess Artemis asked her father, Zeus, to

respect her freedom and never force her to get married. Zeus agreed and under

his protection, he allowed Artemis to live the life she chose to live. What can

Artemis’ and Zeus’ relationship tell us? When a father listens to his daughter, he

builds a trust and she learns to listen to herself and make good choices.

Unfortunately, even the best father-daughter relationships have challenging

times, but their relationship will endure always. A daughter’s cognitive growth

into a young woman will indeed be at its fullest potential and possibly blossom

into extraordinary adventures in her life.

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Statistics

Getting Men Involved: The Newsletter of the Bay Area Male Involvement

Network (Spring 1997) reported that:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

90% of all homeless runaway children are from fatherless homes

85% of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come form

fatherless homes

80% of rapists motivated by displaced anger come from fatherless

homes

71% of all high school dropouts are from fatherless homes

75% of all adolescents’ patients in chemical abuse centers come

from fatherless homes

70% of juveniles in state-oriented institutions come from fatherless

homes

85% of all youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home

Fatherless children are 20% less likely to attend college.

These disturbing statistics reveal the importance that fathers are in the

lives of their children. When father support becomes scarce, children have no

guidance or stability.

When boys are without their fathers, they are at higher risk of serious

violent crimes and incarceration. National statistics showed that the inmates in

general population of prisons grew up with only one parent (Harper &

McLanahan, 1995).

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When father-daughter relationships are not constant, it can have

devastating effects on young girls (Krohn & Bogan, 2001).

53% of females are likely to marry as teenagers

111% of females are likely to have children as teenagers

164% of females are likely to become a single parent

92% of females are more likely to divorce if they marry

Father absence has also been linked to child poverty. Eighty-seven percent of

children living in poverty do not have fathers present at home (Harper &

McLananhan, 1995).

Comparison of Boys and Girls

The question now becomes “Whose affected more by father absence –

boys or girls?” I think it is safe to say that both boys and girls have been known

to have school failures. It is difficult for all children to achieve academically

without fathers present. However, it is not impossible.

Boys tend to be aggressive without fathers, whereas girls’ self image

becomes critical. “Women with absent fathers are left feeling separated and

misunderstood by their fathers” (Perkins, 2001 p. 626). “Sons’ self-esteem, on

the other hand, was best predicted by fathers’ sustained contact (e.g., picking up

the boy for fun and safety)” (Rohner & Veneziano, 2001, p. 397).

My life

In my personal experience, I grew up without my father. He left when my

twin sister and I were 7 years old. My younger sister was only 2 years old.

During the first seven years of my life, my father was never around because he

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was traveling for business. The day is still vivid in my mind when my mom told

us he would not be coming home. My mother was crying, and that was what

made it so upsetting. I actually did not care that my dad was not going to be

coming home because I cannot remember him ever being around.

My adolescent years were pretty rough for me. I can honestly say it was

for both my sisters as well. You start dating during these years, and I really was

not sure how to act around a boy. My toughest challenge in my life has always

been my low self-esteem. It took me many years to realize my father leaving us

was not MY fault. Still, I did not make the best choices in my life. I often turned

to men for comfort, which made everything so much worse. While I was growing

up, I was very popular and participated in many extracurricular activities. I made

the cheerleading squad during high school and loved being around lots of

people. I never could understand, though, why I felt so bad inside.

It was not until my twenties that I reached deep down and found the root

of my problem. The problem had nothing to do with me because it was about my

father. Only then did I truly start the healing process. Today, I have a very

healthy marriage and a beautiful 5-month old baby boy.

Others’ experiences

Looking back on what my life was, I realize it was not so bad. Other

people’s experiences have been much worse than mine. We had a very loving

mother to try and heal many of our wounds.

A family member’s son is a 11-years old. Let’s call him Ty. He has

already shown many detrimental signs of a child living fatherless. He has been

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caught stealing since he was 9-years old. Ty is suppose to be in fifth grade, but

is repeating fourth grade this year. He has been diagnosed with many behavioral

problems and learning disabilities. Socially, Ty has some real issues in any type

of group setting, including peer groups. He constantly complains that he has no

friends. There is absolutely no security in Ty’s life. He displays very aggressive

behavior and has a foul mouth. The situation with him has been getting out of

control.

Another example is a male friend of mine, Rick, who completely changed

because he father was no longer in his life. One of the sweetest boys I have

ever met wound up in prison for many years. As a young boy, he was bright,

intelligent, normal child. His father left during his sixth grade year and his life has

declined ever since. He has 3 children, who will grow up without a father too,

Boys in fatherless homes, on average, get into trouble with the law more

often than girls do. Girls in fatherless homes, statistically have children in their

teens more often than boys do. Many young girls look to older boys or young

men for comfort and subconsciously as a father figure. It is the curse of the

generations that should be stopped. Both boys and girls growing up to have

families of their own and making the same mistakes.

Conclusion

Blankenhorn (1995) studied the widespread growth of fatherless families

and concluded it is our most urgent social problem. He claims it weakens the

family, hurts the children, causes our worst social problem, and makes individual

adult happiness harder to achieve.

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Are boys fate worse than girls, or do boys outwardly act worse than girls?

In my perception, I feel that males do somehow have it more difficult than

females. I know in my own experience there was some rough times, especially

when it came to my self-esteem. For some reason, boys crash-landed harder

when it came to living without their fathers. Maybe, it would be the same if

daughters lost their mothers.

Evidence shows that boys’ consequences have been known to be more

harmful than girls. The findings were for the majority and do not apply to a case

per case basis. Fatherless families are more common than they used to be a

few decades ago. Is this the future we are leaving for our precious children?

Unfortunately, the victims are innocent children who have little say it what really

goes on in their lives. Americans, as a whole, should be the voice for these

children.

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References

Blankenhorn, D. (1995). Fatherless America. New York, NY.

Brody, G.H., Moore, K., & Glei, D. (1994). Family processes during adolescence

as predictors of parents-young adult attitude similarity: A six-year

longitudinal analysis. Family Relations, 43, 369-373.

Floyd, K. & Morman, M.T. (2003). Human affection exchange: II. Affectionate

communication in father-son relationships. The Journal of Social

Psychology, 143 (5), 599-612.

Getting Men Involved: The Newsletter of the Bay Area Male Involvement

Network. (1997). Statistics on fatherless homes. Retrieved November 23,

2004, from http://www.statsonfatherlessness.html

Harper, C.C., & McLanahan, S.S. (1995). Father absence and youth

incarceration. Center for Research on Child Wellbeing, Working Paper

#99-03.

Jones, K.A., Kramer, T.L., Armitage, T. & Williams, K. (2003). The impact of

father absence on adolescent separation-individuation. Genetic, Social,

and General Psychology Monographs, 129 (1), 73-95.

Krohn, F.B., & Bogan, Z. (2001). The effects absent fathers have on female

development and college attendance. College Student Journal, 35 (4),

598-608.

National Center on Fathers and Families (1999). Father presence matter: A

review of the literature. Retrieved December 2, 2004, from

http://familylink.gse.upenn.edu/org/ncoff/litrev/fpmbrief.htm

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Pollack, O., & Friedman, A.S. (1969). Family dynamics and female sexual

delinquency. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.

Rohner, R.P. (1998). Father love and child development: History and current

evidence. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 157-161.

Rohner, R.P. & Veneziano, R.A. (2001). The importance of father love: History

and contemporary evidence. Review of General Psychology, 5 (4), 382-

405.

Rossi, S. (1998). School failure and the father-son relationship. The Counselor:

A Publication for Parents, Counselors & Educators, 1 (4).