experiencing the power of the holy spirit in your marriage (and family) enrich it god’s way

Experiencing the Power of Experiencing the Power of the Holy Spirit in Your the Holy Spirit in Your Marriage (and Family)Marriage (and Family)

Enrich It God’s Way

The Holy Spirit and LifeThe Holy Spirit and Life

I do not need to tell you that the main difference between Christianity and all other religions is that Christ lives in us. Paul said in Colossians 1:27 “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. “

Effects of His PresenceEffects of His Presence

To have a Christian Marriage a person has to be a Christian– We must be able to confess with our lips

that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that he has been resurrected from the dead and we will be saved. (Romans 10:9-10). This begins the journey that leads us on the way to become an authentic Christian


William James did not say this in his writings on salvation, but the authentic Christian loves everybody

The song Give me That Old Time Religion had a verse in it that says “It makes you love everybody.” It’s true. It does! Especially our spouse

What is Love?What is Love?

Love is an emotion. Emotions move people– Love draws people to one another– They want to get to know one another– So they make themselves vulnerable

and reveal themselves to one another

Love?Love?

– They reveal their vices and virtues– Their perfections an imperfections– Their Assets and liabilities

Now this process takes place both verbally and by observation

The best places to observe it is in the loved ones family and social settings

Why Know Them?Why Know Them?

Because we have two personalitiesWe have:

– A public personality– And a private (or intimate) personality

Public and PrivatePublic and Private

It is the private personality that we have to live with when we marry

Unfortunately our personalities are often disparate– Some men and women may be

charming and delightful in public and devilish in intimate relationships

Public and PrivatePublic and Private

My mentor used to describe some women as drawing room (public) angels and house devils

Men can be the same– The only way to find out all about a person

is to know them for a sufficient length of time and in different social situations

– It takes at least a year to know them intimately

Love?Love?

As we learn about one another we psychospiritually install the other person

And when this process is complete we are one. This is what God meant when he told us to leave our father and

mother and become one with our mate. (Genesis 2:24)

Back to EffectsBack to Effects

Just as we install our mates in ourselves We also install the Lord in our lives

We love because he first loves us, and when he does our lives are transformed

He gives us a new personalityWe have:


A happy mood that comes from His indwelling love

There is a loss of worry We have an understanding of truths not

perceived before There is changed behavior The world is objectively changed There is a sense of cleanliness both

inside and out


In our post conversion life we are more likely to:– Live longer– Have better health– Heal more quickly

– Have better marriages– Rear children of worth– Be better citizens


– Be more likely to communicate with God regularly

– Live by Gods commandments and live moral lives

– Be persons of integrity– Have stronger support communities– Be more altruistic

Why?Why?

The answer lies in the presence of the Holy Spirit– The Holy Spirit lives in us as a

controller that is over our mind and guides our human nature into Godly pursuits

Why?Why?

He controls our human nature!Without Christ we cannot

control our human nature. We do what it tells us to do

Satan uses this to make us sin by tempting us

Why?Why?

– “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. “ Gal 5:19-21

Why?Why?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22,23a

He provides these in our marriages

Fruit and MarriageFruit and Marriage

Love is enhancedJoy comes from living together and

having childrenPeace comes from the security we

have in loving one anotherPatience comes as we work toward

the same goals


Faithfulness is a fruit because we have become one with our mate and have promised to be faithful and are expected to be

Gentleness is a derivative of love for we do not want to hurt the object of our love

Kindness is also a derivative of love as is goodness


When we love someone we put their best interests and welfare above out own

We live our lives for themWe deny ourselves, and are no

longer selfish and self centeredWe become their servant

ExerciseExercise

I want you to take one sheet of paper and write a love letter to your spouse listing all the things that make you love them. Write only one page. You may go over a little bit but keep it short and concise

It can be as mushy as you want to make it

We will take a 30 minute break when you have finished

What do we want in our What do we want in our MarriageMarriage

We want to be able to communicate with one another

We want to love one anotherWe want a good sexual

relationshipWe want childrenWe want to share recreational

interests

What do we Want?What do we Want?

We want intellectual stimulationShared religionHaving an orderly homeHaving in laws we can likeGood foodPossessions

What are we to do?What are we to do?

We are obligated as Christians to grow in our faith and our relationship with our spouse

To do this we have to:– Pray with one another– Study the Word of God– Worship in Spirit and truth– And witness

Building Spiritual StrengthBuilding Spiritual Strength

Spiritual strength comes from regular encounters with The Spirit of God.– We encounter God

In our music Our prayer Our Bible study In the Eucharist And in the personal testimony of others


Personal testimony is what Jesus commanded us to do in Acts 1:8, But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


Witness is always relating what we have seen and heard

A testimony to the works of God reveals his love for us and thus he inhabits that testimony

This is why we encounter Him in witness


We need to encounter God because our power leaks out– Our encounters renew the power of the

Spirit in us and we are able to serve God and witness for him

– We can tell of his wondrous works– But we can also be be more loving

husbands, wives, fathers and mothers, pastors, teachers and friends

Why?Why?

“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. “

Why?Why?

“The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.” Romans 8:5-8

What effect does the Holy Spirit What effect does the Holy Spirit have on marriage?have on marriage?

The answer is that it makes an enormous difference– 50% of marriages in our country end in

divorce– In the general church the divorce rate is

about 45%– When two born again Christians marry it is

only 10% – And when two Spirit filled Christians marry

the divorce rate is only1%

Why the Disparity?Why the Disparity?

The answer lies in the fact That God’s presence in the lives of both spouses enhances their love for one another and they are able to use the biblical guides to right living to be one

God began his instruction in the beginning. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. “ Genesis 2:24

What more does God say about What more does God say about marriage and family?marriage and family?

The Bible says that the scriptures are a guide to right living

They clearly address Marriage an family with principles of relating to our husbands, wives and children

PrinciplesPrinciples

First it says that married and later family life should have love and order Ephesians 5:21-33– The love should be unconditional– And spouses should be submitted to

one another


Second there should be well defined roles

The husband is the breadwinner – He is to be the protector of the home– The primary disciplinarian– An the head of the house– Attending to all his duties in love


The husband and father is also to be:– Hardworking– Trustworthy– Generous– Wise and knowledgeable– Frugal– A kind and fair disciplinarian


– The wife is to be the homemaker and nurturer of the children

– She is to be one with her husband in disciplining the children

– Her primary job is to socialize the children

– She may also contribute to bread winning, but her primary duty is homemaker


There should be open and honest communication Ephesians 4:17-32

There should be agreement on: – Management of finances

John Wesley’s principles

– Sexual activity– Child nurturance– And social and recreational activity

Communication Communication RulesRules

ListenHear them outTalk only when it is your turnTry to understand how the other

person feelsDon’t defend yourself

Communication Rules Communication Rules ContinuedContinued

State in love what you think and feel

Bring every argument to a conclusion

After the argument is over and the emotion is out of it – SETTLE IT!

Communication StyleCommunication Style

In marriage the couple should live an assertive life style of communication– This means that they confess their

thoughts and feelings– The do not express their thoughts and

feelings nor do they– Repress their thoughts and feelings

CommunicationCommunication

A simple mnemonic to help you remember how to be assertive is– When– I think and I feel– I would like

Communicating LoveCommunicating Love

Gary Chapman Says that love is communicated in ways other than talking. It is important, but other things are necessary.

We are to love our wives and husbands unconditionally– Do not be critical– Do not condemn– Heed Ephesians 4:29-32

Communicating loveCommunicating love

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.


Spend Quality time together– It should be free of distractions– It should be a time for unrestricted

communication– It should be a time where you can

have fun– You should not have the kids along.

Park them with someone else


A third method of communicating love is to give and receive gifts– These do not have to be expensive– They should be something that your

mate can use and be reminded of your love

– They should be something that your wife or husband will like


Have non sexual physical contact– Men should hold their wives so that they

feel protected and secure– They should be hugged and kissed and not

dragged off to bed– Hold their hands, put your arm around

them when possible while seated– Pats on the fanny, kisses on the neck,

stroking their head, and other non sexual gestures qualify. Spouses should receive these with appreciation


Perform acts of service– Women have a tough time raising and

nurturing kids– Husbands should help them as much as

possible especially if the wife works– Cleaning the table, loading the dishwasher,

Putting clean dishes away– Taking out the trash– Bathing the kids if necessary– And many other things that show you care

The Holy Spirit and the The Holy Spirit and the FamilyFamily

Application of Christian principles in marriage should:– Create stability in the home– Create children of worth– Bring happiness to all members– And glorify God, for that is man’s

chief aim (Westminster Shorter Catechism--Question 1)

What else do we need to do to What else do we need to do to create a spirit guided family lifecreate a spirit guided family life

We should affirm our children, i.e. love each of them unconditionally. I cannot emphasize this enough

We should teach them biblical values. Deuteronomy 4:9,10; 6:6-9; 31:10-13

We should be role models of spiritual men and women

Family Life Family Life

Communicate our faith through personal witness and example– Teach Bible in a simple way through Bible

story telling and limited verse memorization– Teach children how to pray by praying with

them– Teach God’s rules of moral behavior by

explaining why we obey them

Family LifeFamily Life

– Demonstrate your faith by living it– Go to a church where Christ is

regularly encountered– Be excited about your faith– Make it seem desirable– Communicate the benefits through

thanksgiving

ConclusionsConclusions

Having a marriage and family in the Spirit requires continuing spiritual growth of both parents

Both parents need to actively use the means of grace to facilitate their growth. They need to pray together, study the bible and worship together.

experiencing the power of the holy spirit in your marriage (and family) enrich it god’s way

Documents

spouse slide

intimate personality

authentic christian

gods way slide

social settings slide

public personality

indwelling love

private personality