Everyone Takes SidesTo Bad we lost the Game

When the respect dies, coworkers end up taking sides. Tension increases as the quarrel and ultimately end the office harmony. Worse yet, employees that once were friends‘ "including the estranged co-worker“ are now at

odds with each other. When that happens, office productivity drops and very few employees

come out unscathed.

The Office that 8-10 hr. day place you spend over 2/3rds of your life at:

An office environment is always a good place to meet new people who have the same interests and sometimes, the goals and ambitions. They always advocate for mutual friendships where teamwork is propagated in order to achieve the goals of the organization.

Believe it, Read it, Heed it !

Three to four times more common

Workplace bullying/quarrels/fights is a serious problem that can profoundly effect the mental, physical and financial health of the bully’s target (the person or group the bully abuses). A recent Canadian study estimates that bullying in the workplace is three to four times more common than sexual harassment or racial discrimination.

The bad side of life

Coworkers don't want to hear about it. Co-workers in a office are never able to keep their disputes a secret. Yes, almost everyone thinks it's cute that there's an office quarrel ... cute for about two weeks. After that, coworkers start taking bets as to when the event will escalate, or wishing it had ended yesterday so that they don't have to hear about it anymore.

We/Us/The Team/The Corporation

It can have a devastating effect on the morale of the whole staff. An organization cannot have employees avoiding each other in the work place.

It is not Gender Specific

It is not about me, its about events

Damage/Hurt/Destroy

• For starters, office disputes can hurt your work performance and damage your reputation.

• This could lead others to treat you differently or even file complaints. Eventually, either scenario could lead to write-ups and even job loss despite the fact that your supervisors are unaware of the events. And if you don’t think losing your job will cause ripples in your personal life, think again.

He Said/She Said the Boss Said

To argue and to fight are two different things. When two people are arguing it doesn't mean that they are fighting, they could be presenting their lines of argument in a calm and polite manner. Of course, an argument can turn into fight.

No Referee to the Event

• If you have noticed an increase in office fighting at your job, it's up to you to take control. If you're the manager in charge or the business owner, you can take steps to remedy the situation; if you aren't in an authoritarian position, you need to bring it to the attention of your superior. The longer office fighting goes on, the less likely it will stop until someone is fired, demoted or sued. Office fighting can become something like junior high students on a bus going home from school; things get out of hand and there's really nobody there to referee.

a level playing field

In most cases, office fighting can be cured by creating a level playing field. Promotion and achievement should not be based on a rapport with the boss, but on sound work and positive attitudes. When office fighting results in nothing more than disciplinary action, it tends to stop. It is when office fighting is unknowingly rewarded by the boss that things can turn ugly.

Sometimes not all times

They know that the corporate world can be vicious and many employees are deciding to join in on the games rather than fight to stay above them. Office fighting can often be a result of misplaced anger and resentment toward those who seem to overachieve.

None are AcceptableThere are several words with similar meanings but different degrees of disagreement.• A spat/ squabble is a small verbal exchange , usually

occasional in nature which usually ends quickly• A quarrel usually is more of a shouting match between

two parties involved who try to prove to each other that they are wrong or at fault

• An argument is an emotional exchange of words from each party to prove a point or he his right

• A fight typically is the violent resolution of the above.

No winnerThere is no winner in a quarrel. As a quarrel largely consists of impulsive reactions and rules out reason for the most part, a quarreling person tries to gain the upper hand with fists.

A quarrel, therefore, does not breed victory.

First and Always

The first step in putting a lid on office fighting is to directly address the situation. In the interest of remaining objective, some bosses and managers will ignore the fighting and hope it will go away, much the same as the parents of two particularly rambunctious teenagers will ignore bickering. If the issue is properly addressed, however, the juvenile behavior is thrust into the limelight and employees who have spent billable hours fighting will be embarrassed of their behavior.

Real Differences and Problems

BE AWARE YOU HAVE A CHOICE• The most common reactions to politics at work are

either fight or flight. It’s normal human reaction for survival in the wild, back in the prehistoric days when we were still hunter-gatherers. Sure, the office is a modern jungle, but it takes more than just instinctive reactions to win in office politics. Instinctive fight reactions will only cause more resistance to whatever you are trying to achieve; while instinctive flight reactions only label you as a pushover that people can easily take for granted.

KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE

• When conflicts happens, it’s very easy to be sucked into tunnel-vision and focus on immediate differences. That’s a self-defeating approach. Chances are you’ll only invite more resistance by focusing on differences in people’s positions or opinions.

• The way to mitigate this without looking like you’re fighting to emerge as a winner in this conflict is to focus on the business objectives. In the light of what’s best for the business, discuss the pros and cons of each option. Eventually, everyone wants the business to be successful; if the business don’t win, then nobody in the organization wins. It’s much easier for one to eat the humble pie and back off when they realize the chosen approach is best for the business.

FOCUS ON YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

• At work, there are often issues which we have very little control over. It’s not uncommon to find corporate policies, client demands or boss mandates which affects your personal interests. Bitching and complaining are common responses to these events that we cannot control. But think about it, other than that short term emotional outlet, what tangible results do bitching really accomplish? In most instances, none.

• Instead of feeling victimized and angry about the situation, focus on the things that you can do to influence the situation – your circle of influence. This is a very empowering technique to overcome the feeling of helplessness. It removes the victimized feeling and also allows others to see you as someone who knows how to operate within given constraints.

No Winners, Just Worn Losers• In office politics, it is possible to find yourself stuck in between

two power figures who are at odds with each other. You find yourself being thrown around while they try to outwit each other and defend their own position. All at the expense of you getting the job done. You can’t get them to agree on a common decision for a project, and neither of them want to take ownership of issues; they’re too afraid they’ll get stabbed in the back for any mishaps.

• In cases like this, focus on the business objectives and don’t take side with either of them – even if you like one better than the other. Place them on a common communication platform and ensure open communications among all parties so that no one can claim “I didn’t say that”.

Truly what's it all about?

Its not about Me!

DON’T GET PERSONAL• In office politics, you’ll get angry with people. It

happens. There will be times when you feel the urge to give that person a piece of your mind and teach him a lesson. Don’t.

• People tend to remember moments when they were humiliated or insulted. Even if you win this argument and get to feel really good about it for now, you’ll pay the price later when you need help from this person. What goes around comes around, especially at the work place.

SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, BEFORE BEING UNDERSTOOD

• The reason people feel unjustified is because they felt misunderstood. Instinctively, we are more interested in getting the others to understand us than to understand them first. Top people managers and business leaders have learned to suppress this urge.

• Surprisingly, seeking to understand is a very disarming technique. Once the other party feels that you understand where he/she is coming from, they will feel less defensive and be open to understand you in return.

Its about Win/Win not Win Lose

THINK WIN-WIN• As mentioned upfront, political conflicts happen because of

conflicting interests. Perhaps due to our schooling, we are taught that to win, someone else needs to lose. Conversely, we are afraid to let someone else win, because it implies losing for us.

• In business and work, that doesn’t have to be the case.• Learn to think in terms of “how can we both win out of this

situation?” This requires that you first understand the other party’s perspective and what’s in it for him. Next, understand what’s in it for you. Strive to seek out a resolution that is acceptable and beneficial to both parties. Doing this will ensure that everyone truly commit to the agree resolution and not pay only lip-service to it.

Some words have powerful meaning

A lot of Do’s and few Don'tsDO• ENCOURAGE everyone at the workplace to act towards others in a respectful and

professional manner.• HAVE a workplace policy in place that includes a reporting system.• EDUCATE everyone that bullying is a serious matter.• TRY TO WORK OUT solutions before the situation gets serious or "out of control".• EDUCATE everyone about what is considered bullying, and whom they can go to for

help.• TREAT all complaints seriously, and deal with complaints promptly and confidentially.• TRAIN supervisors and managers in how to deal with complaints and potential

situations. Encourage them to address situations promptly whether or not a formal complaint has been filed.

• HAVE an impartial third party help with the resolution, if necessary.DO NOT• DO NOT IGNORE any potential problems.• DO NOT DELAY resolution. Act as soon as possible.

Working in a Office is a Team EventSimply lay out the rules for employees and encourage everyone to operate like a team.People simply don’t like to lose. You may get away with win-lose tactics once or twice, but very soon, you’ll find yourself without allies in the workplace.