eurotimes - issue 1

8/9/2019 EuroTimes - Issue 1

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2/10

TheArsenallongestactedinthehigherEnglishbattal

ion,beingtheresince1919.Lasttimethecommandhas

beenexcluded

after

aseason

1912

1913

when

it

has

ap

pearedonthetwentiethposition.

TwiceforlastthreeyearsThierriHenriwasthesecondby

resultsofvotingonawardofawardFIFAWorldPlayerof

theYearafterthecompatriotZinedinaZidanain2003,

Ronaldinhoin2004andthethirdafterRonaldinhoand

FrankLampardin2005.

GaelClichi theyoungestplayerwhohaswonmedal

Premiershipin18yearsand10months.Francesc

Fabregas theyoungestplayer,debutedfortheArsenalin16yearsand177days.Healso

becametheyoungestauthorofagoalinthehistoryoftheArsenal.

TheformercaptainToniAdamshasspent669meetingsforArsenal,hashammeredin48

goals.Only

David

About

`Leary

surpasses

it,

having

spent

772

matches

for

acommand.

InJanuary2003DenisBergkampandTerriAnrihavehammeredonthe100thgoalfor

club.GilbertoSilvahasscoredagoaliningateofcommandPSVEindhovenafter20,07

secondsofgameonSeptember,25th

Arsenal My

Heros.Interesting Facts

CupswonbyArsenal13EnglishPremierLegue

CarlingCup10times

EuropeCup2times

CharityCup11times

EuropeanFairCupFA cup6times

Jacobs Jokes

The Heart of the

Arsenal FC


3/10

History of jokes

Jokes have been a part ofhuman culture since at least

1900 BCE. A fart joke from

ancient Sumer is currently

believed to be the world's

oldest known joke

A recent discovery of a docu-

ment called Philogelos (The

Laughter Lover) gives us an

insight into ancient humour.

Written in Greek by Hierocles

and Philagrius, it dates to the

third or fourth century AD,and contains some 260

jokes. Considering humour

from our own culture as re-

cent as the 19th century is at

times baffling to us today, the

humour is surprisingly famil-

iar. They had different Stereo-

types, the eunuch, and peo-

ple with hernias or bad breath

were favourites.

Something about

A joke is a short story or ironic

depiction of a situation com-

municated with the intent of

beinghumorous. These jokes

will normally have a punch-

line that will end the sen-

tence to make it humorous. A

joke can also be a single

phrase or statement that

employs sarcasm.

A practical joke or prank dif-

fers from a spoken one in

that the major component of

the humour is physical ratherthan verbal (for example plac-

ing salt in the sugar bowl).

Purpose of Jokes

Jokes are typically for the

entertainment of friends and

onlookers. The desired re-

sponse is generally laughter;

when this does not happen

the joke is said to have "fallen

flat".

However jokes have other

purposes and functions, com-

mon to com-

edy/humour/satire in gen-

eral.

A little kid asks his father,

Daddy is god man or woman?

Both, son. God is both. After a

while the kid comes again and

asks, Daddy, is god black or

white? Both, son. God is both.

The child returns in a few

minutes later and says, Daddy

is Michael Jackson God?

I asked my wife, Where do

you want to go for our anni-

versary? She said, Some-

where I have never been! I

told her, How about the

kitchen?

How do you get four elephants

in a car?

Two in the front and two in

the back.

Something about jokes

The best Jokes

The Heart of the Europe -

Jacobs Jokes

Czech Republic

Czech jokes

A husband comes

home late:

"Why have you been

so long?

And don't tell me that

at work!""I'm sorry, but I was

at work.

But when everyone

left, they forgot to

wake me up."

"Do you know how to

swim?"

"Yes."

"And where did you

learn it?"

"In the water."

If a vegetarian eats

vegetables what the

heck does a humani-

tarian eat!?Why do people recite

at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

drive on parkways

English was invented

by people, not com-

puters

And it reflects the

creativity of the hu-

man race

(Which of course isn'ta race at all)

English Jokes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence_humourhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumerhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philogeloshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunuchhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herniahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humourhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasmhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Practical_jokehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prankhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughterhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humourhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satirehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satirehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humourhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughterhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prankhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Practical_jokehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasmhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_linehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humourhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herniahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunuchhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philogeloshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumerhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence_humour


4/10

WHY DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT???

WORLD CUP 2010 IS SHOWING US THAT THE REFEREE IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT..

BUT WHEN THEY SEE THE REPLAY, IT IS TOO LATE BECAUSE BY NEW RULES REFEREES CANT

CHANGE THEIR MIND. SO IT PROBABLY WOULD BE BETTER TO USE NEW TECHNOLOGIES OR

CHANGE THE RULES. BECAUSE IN A BIG CHAMPIONSHIP SUCH AS FIFA EVERY GOAL CAN CHANGE

OR

THE MATCH BETWEEN MEXICO AND ARGENTINA

FINISHED WITH THE ARGENTINEANS WINNING WITH

THE SCORE 1-3, BUT IN FACT THE SCORE IS 2-1 BE-

CAUSE THE SECOND GOAL WAS SCORED FROM OFF-

SIDE AND THE AUTHOR OF THIS GOAL IS CARLOS

TEVEZ. BUT WHO KNOWS, IF REFEREE SAW THE

OFFSIDE MEXICO COULD HAVE WON, BECAUSE

YOU'LL FEEL ANGRY IF YOU CANT CONCENTRATE

ON THE GAME. TEVEZ TOLD REPORTERS: I KNOW I WAS OFFSIDE, I KNOW IT WAS SELFISH BUT

AS LONG AS THEY SAY IT WAS A GOAL ITS OK FOR ME AND THE TEAM.

IN THE MATCH ENGLAND V . GERMANY, THE GER-

MANS WON WITH THE SCORE 4-1.BUT AGAIN REFE-REES MADE A MISTAKE BECAUSE LAMPARD

SCORED THE GOAL BUT REFEREE DIDNT ALLOW

THAT. PROBABLY ENGLAND COULD WIN THE

MATCH, IF THE REFEREE SAW LAMPARDS GOAL.

BUT IT WAS NOT ENGLANDS BEST GAME. ALL THE

ENGLAND PLAYERS LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE TIRED, THEY WERE VERY SLOW AND THEY

MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE MATCH. SO I THINK THE REFE-

REES MISTAKE DIDN'T CHANGE THE MATCH.

By Birzhan from Kazakhstan


5/10

watching me.

So I decided to go out and asksome people, what they think

Hi everyone,

My name is Adela, I am

from the Czech repub-

lic and Im 17 years old.

When I came to Eng-land, I was very sur-

prised about CCTV

cameras, because in

the Czech republic we

dont have anything

like this. Well there are

cameras, but not so

many as in Great Brit-

ain. The CCTV camerasare everywhere: on the

train and bus stations,

also inside the trains, in

the shops, in the restau-

rants, on the streets,

just everywhere.There are some people,

who think, that it is the

right thing, because it

can help police to catch

outlaws and they can

feel safe, but there are

many people, who

want to preserve their

privacy. And I alwaysfeel, that somebody is

W h a t d o y o u t h i n k a b o u t C C T V c a m e r a s ?

Student Birzhan, Ka-zakhstanIn Kazakhstan, we dont

have CCTV cameras, but I

heard about them from

America and about some

demonstrations. I think it

can to limit people. And

maybe, the police spend a

lot of money on cameras,

which could be used in a

different way, for example

StudentMichal, CzechRepublicI think it is good

for security of

people, because

the CCTV cam-

eras make bad-

guys feel scared. I

think that bad-

guys dont want

to be recorded.

Policeman Sam,EnglandIt is a very good thing.

Everyday you can be

recorded about 300

times on the streets by

CCTV cameras. The

cameras are all over

the cities and we are

recording 24 hours a

day, 7 days a week. It is

a very good for your

Teacher Milene,BrazilIts great thing for

security of people.

The police can check

whats going on and

they can be on the

place in few min-

utes. But I think ,

that its not neces-

sary to have so

many cameras.


6/10

Kazakhstan is a wealth of frostymountain peaks, sparkling glaciers,softly rustling evergreen forests, hugerocky canyons bridged by colorfulrainbows, emerald mountain lakes, wildrivers, poetic sunrises, and unique plant

and animal life.Kazakhstan is the birthplace of ancientEurasian civilizations, the motherland ofnomadic peoples, and an important partof the Great Silk Road (1,400km).

I recommend any visitor to go to:

Baiterek tower, its like the Eiffel tower

Medeo is the best place for sking and

ice skating and it is high in the mountains

Almaty restarants and try thebeshparmak, a meat dish made withhorse and lots of vegetables all made inthe oven. Its cooked for 3 hours.Delicious!

KZ

Welcome to KazakhstanRUSLAN


7/10

My name is

Akarys . I am 12and I live in Ka-

zakhstan.

My family is my

father, my

mother, my sis-

ter and I.

My fathersname is Medey

and he is 50 . He

is an attorney .

My mothers

name is Gulthat.

My mother is 50.

She is an ac-countant .

My sister name

is Dina .My sister

is 26. She is an

accountant. She

is married and

has 2 children.

Specialpoints of in-terest:

Me

My sister

My mother

My father

My town

My father, mother and sister and me!

Come to Almaty!

I live in a town

called Almaty . It

has a football

stadium and the

football team is

I live in a small

house .It has 3

rooms . It has a

garden at the

back.

good . I meet my friends

and we play football and

we go to the super market .

MY FAMILYBY AKARYSFROM KAZKSTAN

Euro-times


8/10


9/10

Flag of Czech Republic

Symbol of Czech Republic

Map of Czech Republic

Hi dear readers,I think you dontknow Czech Republicvery well, so Ill tellyou about it, becauseI am from Czech Re-public and I like mycountry. Czech Re-public is a small coun-try in the middle ofEurope. The countryborders Poland to thenortheast, Germanyto the west and north-west, Austria to thesouth and Slovakia tothe east. It is borderedby mountains. Mycountry is famous forthe inventors and sci-entists, but now, it isfamous for victory inice-hockey World Cup.More than ten mil.people live in Czech

Republic. The two big-gest cities are called:Prague and Brno. Thecapital city of CzechRepublic is Prague. Init live about one mil-lion people. There area lot of interestingplaces and historicalbuildings. The mostfamous are these: cas-tle of Prague, bridgeof Charles and Orloj(a very big calendarclock).The Czech Republic,has one of the leastreligious populationsin the world. Histori-cally, the Czech peo-ple have been charac-terized as "tolerantand even indifferenttowards religion."

About Czech Republic

Famous Czech PeopleThanks to Czech Re-

public we have got

a lot of needed

things. I will tell you

about most famous

inventions.

- Otto Wichterle

contact lenses, silon- Josef Ressel

ships propeller, ball

bearings, pneu-

matic pipeline trans-

port, magnetic com-

pass

- Prokop Divis light-

ning rod

- Gregor Mendel

father of modern

genetics

- Stanislav Brebera

explosive Semtex

We have got a

sportsmen and art-

ists too. For exam-

ple:,Petr Cech (one

of the best goal-

keepers in the

The Heart of the Europe - Michal Czech Republic

Czech Republic

Informations

10 509 377 people

78 867 km

Currency: Czech crown(CZK)

Language: Czech

Anthem: Kde domovmuj

Motto: Truth prevails

Government: Parliamentrepublic

Calling code : +420

Member of NATO: Yes(1999)

Member of EU: Yes(2004)

Main religion: Romancatholic

The differences toEngland

Driving side: Right

Food: Other breads

Drink: Many kinds ofmineral water

Electric sockets

Government (Parliamentrepublic)

Much more expensivecars and clothes

Much cheaper food,drink and travelling(trains, buses,)


10/10

Please send us your next articles for our second issue inJuly

2010.

Perhaps you have opinions about our articles in this issue?

Or you have your own points of view you want to get across

to your fellow students. Eurospeak is all about diversity so

the more diverse and different your articles the better!

Good Bye!!!

EURO TIMES

eurotimes - issue 1

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