Esther 4 Watch the Intro teaching video by Rachel. Find it at Cedar Valley Women online.

• Esther chapters 3-6 are storytelling at it’s finest! Read them in one sitting, aloud if possible. 

The stage has been set, the characters are introduced, and it’s crunch time. Maybe a better phrase would be: disaster time. Haman—an Agagite—has taken exception to Mordecai—a descendant of Saul —and has put in motion a plan to kill … ALL Jews. 

Talk about an escalation. So why the freakout? 

Another piece to this puzzle which makes the scene a little clearer is understanding the honor/shame society that the Persians and Jews both lived in. Honor/shame societies force people to stay within agreed upon values by creating a social norm and then using the currency of honor or shame to keep people inside that norm. 

Definitions can help clarify. Another word for honor is respect. In the honor/shame society, one of the most important features is the public nature of reputation. Shame is when you associate a negative behavior with your identity. It’s not “I did something bad,” it’s “I am bad.” The social aspect of shame is a feeling that we don’t belong and a fear that we can’t belong in the culture.

Different societies have different norms, and the way to clearly see the norms is when they are violated. For instance, if a person behaves outside the norms, those in the culture will take away acceptance in order to pressure the person back into the group’s expressed norms. Taking away acceptance can also serve as a deterrent for anyone watching. 

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Though we don’t operate within an honor/shame culture in modern day American society (ours is a law/guilt culture), we get a sense of this on social media. If someone posts something we appreciate, they get “likes” or “shares”, if they are doing something we don’t like, they will either be ignored or people will publicly comment with their dissatisfaction. Now multiply those reactions times 100 and add a deep feeling of shame or respect to your core identity—and you’re starting to get a feel for it. 

As a caveat, when applying this framework to modern settings, or cultures different from our own, we can inadvertently severely misrepresent what is going on. We can’t ever know cultural nuances that aren’t spelled out, norms that aren’t specifically stated, and methods to shame/honor others that are unique to each population and each nationality. For those reasons, as we examine the text of Esther we will be careful to stick as close to the text as possible. 

Let’s go back, and with the unseen character of honor/shame society in the mix, re-read Esther chapter 3. 

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• What position did Haman have in the palace? Where would you put him within the circle in the above honor/shame pictograph?

• Write out the specific action Mordecai did that was so offensive to Haman. 

• Why do you think that the palace officials were so concerned with Mordecai’s behavior? 

• Re-envisioning the scene in chapter 3 with honor/shame in mind, what do you think the personal message Haman received was? (I am ……..)

So Haman responds to Mordecai’s public shaming with a monster decree. He uses all the influence he has to remind Mordecai that he is in a higher position and has more authority (read: honor). Haman is using a sledge hammer to squash a gnat. 

Truly, Mordecai has no recourse. Haman has won epically. In the hierarchy at the Susa palace, Haman is top dog. 

In chapter four, Mordecai’s response is to grieve, and to grieve publicly. Esther takes note and, through messages via her personal attendant, hears of the decree issued by Xerxes. Let’s walk through those interactions:

• What did Mordecai give to Hathach? Why did he give it to him? 

• What did Mordecai ask Hathach to direct Esther to do?

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• How did Esther respond?

• Mordecai appealed to Esther again. How would you summarize his reply? 

• Esther agrees with Mordecai’s request, but adds a request of her own. What was it? 

A few weeks ago we talked about flat and round characters. Flat characters don’t change, round characters do. Chapter 4 walks us through a change in Esther’s character. What movement do you see in Esther through the chapter? What do you think causes that movement? 

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Chapter five of Esther picks up after the Jewish community, Esther, and her maids have participated in three days of fasting from food and drink. Esther puts on her royal robe and enters the inner court. She is about to walk into the lion's den (if you’ll excuse a metaphor from a different exile story). 

• What does the king do when he sees Esther? What does he say? (notice how he addresses her) 

• And how does Esther reply? 

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So any ideas about why she invites him to a banquet? My first thought was that she did it because she had been fasting and you know how when you’re hungry all you think about is food? So maybe she’d been planning what she’d love to eat and then the idea of a banquet came to her? 

Probably not. 

• The question remains, though. Why a party invite? And why, for heaven’s sake, invite Haman? Make some guesses. Think about this like a Netflix series. If you were filming this scene, would you see Esther as looking hungry and fearful? Or would you see her as cunning and composed? 

The Bible doesn’t always give motives to characters and likes to have the results speak for the character. {Spoiler Alert} Esther is successful in saving the people and the bad guys die. Since Esther is ultimately a heroine in the story it’s a safe assumption that the narrator is keeping us in the dark about the why of the banquet at this point, but we can be assured that she’s got a plan laid out. 

• The king and Haman attend the banquet that very day! The king poses an interesting question to Esther at the banquet. Write it below: 

• Do you think that the king initially knew that the banquet was a pre-request and that Esther would tell him later what she wanted?

• Write Esther’s reply below: 

Like we said above, the woman seems to have a plan. 

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So Esther was working on the problem of her people as a group being killed. The rest of chapter five and into chapter six moves our attention back to the mano e mano fight between Haman and Mordecai. Then the scene follows a happy Haman on his way home from the banquet and we are dropped right into the rivalry Haman feels toward Mordecai. 

In a beautiful touch of irony, both Haman and the king end up thinking about Mordecai that evening. 

• Let’s look at Haman’s interaction with Mordecai first, starting in Esther 5:9-14. 

• How did Haman feel as he left the banquet? Why do you think he felt that way? 

• How did Haman feel when he saw Mordecai? Why?

• In Haman’s frustration, he gets some advice. What do his friends and his wife suggest he do? 

• In light of the honor/shame culture we talked about earlier, why do you think it was impossible for Haman to leave the perceived insult from Mordecai alone? 

Now let’s see how the king was thinking about Mordecai at the very same time in chapter 6:1-3. 

• Why was Xerxes attendant reading to him? 

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• What reward had Xerxes given to Mordecai? 

Now the two stories intersect. When you read this, knowing both Haman’s evening and Xerxes evening, you can start to chuckle a bit at what’s going to happen. Have you ever read a story to grade-school children, and in anticipation of a coming collision they start to giggle with glee? When you read Esther 6:4, imagine that giggle. Haman is walking proud and self assured, thinking murderously of the man who has shamed him, while the king is looking for someone to advise him on the best way to honor the man who saved him. Only you as the reader know it’s the very same man. 

This is SO GOOD.

Now we watch Haman unknowingly set up an amazing honor for the man he was desperate to shame. Read Esther 6:1-12 and answer the questions:

• What does the king ask Haman?

• Who does Haman think the king wants to honor? 

• What does Haman suggest to the king? List it out. 

• What does this reveal to you about Haman’s heart?

By the time you read (in vs 10) the king telling Haman to do these very things for Mordecai, the storyteller is nearly bursting with the humorous irony. The man who used his influence to decree destruction for anyone remotely important to Mordecai,

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has inadvertently used that very influence to honor him. He had painted himself into a corner and there was no getting out of it. 

• How does Haman feel at the end of his afternoon parading Mordecai around and shouting honor to him?

• When you arrive at the end of chapter 6, Haman is again seeking advice from his wife and advisors. How do they advise him this time? 

And when Haman is at a low point of humiliation in front of his town, his family, and his advisors, vs 14 reminds us that this nutty day is not done. Maybe Haman’s hoping the evening will turn things around and he can step into a banquet to be treated the way he feels he deserves. {Spoiler alert} It’s not going to get any better—but we will save that for next week. 

Apply It

Jesus stepped into an honor/shame culture when He was born into a stable in Bethlehem. For a master class on how to interact in that culture, read his dealings with those who questioned His authority, those who acted as if He didn’t know the law, and those who were higher than Him on the social ladder. 

And His teachings! Blessed are the poor in spirit (when society says rich and religious = honored; Matthew 5:3)?! Let the little children (lowest on the social ladder) come to me (Mat 19:14)?! Sell all your possessions (your worldly honor; Luke 18:22)?! Wanna be the greatest—be the least (Luke 22:26)?! 

Crazy talk. 

Jesus walks into the honor/shame culture and acknowledges it, works within the structure, and then (as He does) turns it on its head. He teaches that the classical way of understanding honor is upside down. Rather than being afraid of losing your position you’ve inherited or earned, Jesus says that you can live free from that bondage. In fact, He commands people to voluntarily lower themselves!

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These are the mechanisms for how to thrive  in God's Kingdom: Discipline and forgiveness replace shame, and blessing, kindness and love become our form of honor.

This is why we run like mad from the shame train—because God never changes our identity or our value based on what we do. Our position as citizens of His kingdom and our relationship with Him are non-negotiable. Paul continues this teaching and explains that when we become members of God’s family, we are also citizens in His kingdom and the operations in His kingdom work differently. 

If you are outside of God’s Kingdom, what brings you in? The answer may surprise you! Most people think it’s shame. Or guilt. Or a desperate last resort. 

• What does God say? Look up Romans 2:4 and write it out. 

Yes, there is a recognition of our sin and an understanding that in and of ourselves we are not a people of honor. But there is never a condemnation that removes the intrinsic value that God bestowed on His creation. In His patience and kindness and in spite of our willful self-obsession, He waits for us - and is kind. 

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BIG SO WHAT? Let the offense reveal so you can heal   Now that you’ve been adopted into His family and are a citizen in His kingdom, how do things work? It would be pretty natural to apply the honor/shame cycle to a religious system, but God has a different game plan.    Haman is written as a foil in the book of Esther. He’s a bigger than life character who is desperate to avoid shame and to acquire honor. His relentless pursuit for any recognition blinds him to himself, making him an emperor with no clothes on. It’s comical to watch, and if we allow it, can be helpful. Sometimes stories can be like microscopes—they enlarge and enhance something that may be small in yourself, giving you a clear picture of something you may have ignored or not seen. Haman can show us something in ourselves.   

{A brief note: we are talking here about offenses, not abuses. If you are being hurt emotionally, physically, or mentally by someone who has malice or a goal of soliciting submission, that’s not offense - that is abuse. The steps and processes below to work through offenses aren’t intended (or near sufficient enough) to address abuse.  What I would prayerfully recommend is for you to call someone you trust and start the process of restoration. Power/control thrives in the dark, exposure brings truth.}

  Since we have been exploring Haman’s (intense) response to an insult in the book of Esther, let’s now take a look at how Jesus re-frames that particular part of life. Insults, offenses, hurt feelings, betrayal … all those things happen no matter what culture you are in, and even in God’s kingdom.    • Look up 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and write everything love is NOT: 

          It’s funny, because when you’re knee deep in the offended category, it’s like quicksand. It pulls you deep and traps you. The effort to get out of it is certainly more than the effort to get in. To be offended and to choose love - sometimes it feels like a Herculean act of the heart.   

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I look at that list above as a symptom checker. Especially the “love is not easily offended” one. Whenever I get to being irritable, or I start keeping track of wrongs, it’s a red flag to me that something is not right. And then the really hard work of letting God reveal and heal starts.   

BIG NOW WHAT: Get rooted.   Losing our love for others and acting out of a need to defend our position (honor) or to avoid embarrassment (shame) can often come when we forget God’s love for us and are attempting to establish ourselves in this world.    • Read Ephesians 3:14-21

  • Is the root that grounds you, your love for God or His love for you?

    • If you experience the love that God has for you, what happens (v19)?

    Vineyard owners will tell you that the best grapes come from the vines that have the deepest roots. How do you get a grapevine root to do a deep dive? Pressure from surrounding vines’ roots force it to go deep in search for nutrients.  Trees operate this way as well. If a tree never experiences an outside pressure (such as wind) the roots stay shallow and the tree is top heavy. The first sign of a storm and the tree will topple.   Personally, the times I have most grown to understand and lean on God’s love are when I feel it least from the world, or when the world is applying pressure. Perhaps He’s showing you some things that are alarming and frustrating about yourself (ahem, quarantine is like a breeding ground for irritability). Rather than give in to the frustration and the feeling of offense, and rather than counting up the ways we are wronged, perhaps a full 180 turn and a plea to God for His “glorious, unlimited resources” to “empower you with inner strength” (Eph 3:16, NLT) is in order.   

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I know, easier said than done.    About ten years ago I was recruited to write for a well-known magazine. The editor and I chatted, she loved my idea, and I submitted my article on time. After a few weeks I got another phone call. “Thank you for your submission, but this isn’t what we are looking for. We will send you a check for $25 for your trouble.”    Ouch. Gotta say that rejection hit pretty hard. I wanted to call and let them know my exact thoughts about their stupid magazine (rudely). I recalled our conversations and counted every time they had been unclear. Mostly I wanted to give up on the calling God has on my life.    When I got done crying and saying mean things in my head, I turned around and held this pain out to God, And when I was quiet enough, I got a message I have never recovered from. God said “Rachel, I will NEVER reject you.”    It didn’t smooth it all over, the hurt was still there. But I know that I know that I know that God never rejects His children. His love doesn’t work that way. Rejection in this world still loops back around and pushes me around sometimes, but the knowledge that my relationship with God will never go through that rollercoaster keeps me …    Rooted.    So give it a shot. For now, set aside the pride and ask God to allow you a taste of the experience of His love. Hold out your hands with the thing that’s got you in knots and acting out of self-preservation. He will be faithful to empower you, to make His home in your heart, and to keep you strong as you begin to glimpse His love for you.     

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