erm3 march

OPEN SUBMISSION CHAPBOOKReleased

WEDNESDAY.5.MARCH.2010

THE EVERYDAY RESISTANCE MOVEMENT

OPEN SUBMISSION CHAPBOOK

Wednesday.5.March.2010

Who are the Everyday Resistance Movement?

We have spent many hours sat in front of screens doing nothing much at all. We have worked in insurance, we have shopped around for the best offer on an external hard drive and now we are ready to really start doing something. We have spent years watching tv in our homes when nothing is on. We have sat day after day laughing out of moral obligation whilst listening to other people’s choice of radio station in our offices and workplaces but now we must act. The erm offer an opportunity for anyone to be published in a monthly chap book in an effort to inspire and instill the value of creativity and for people to stop just consuming culture but actively make it themselves. The movement will produce a monthly broadside and chapbook to be distributed locally and online. We believe self expression and creativity can offer a small break from the rest of life, even if it is just for five minutes.

What is a chapbook?

Chapbook is a generic term to cover a genre of pocket-sized booklet. It includes many kinds of printed material such as pamphlets, political and religious tracts, nursery rhymes, poetry, folk tales, short stories, children’s literature and almanacs. The term is derived from a variety of peddler chapmen, who circulated such literature as part of their stock. It is printed in black and white because it’s cheaper.

The Everyday Resistance Movement

March 2010

This is a reminder that the clocks will go forward on March 21st. You will lose an hour of your life. As we all know any actions undergone between midnight and one in the morning will never have actually happened. What happens on tour stays on tour, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and whatever happens between the daylight saving hour change didn’t happen at all. However, this week the strange story of Morton Greenspan came to press, an Icelandic podiatrist living in Wilmslow who due to a clerical error last year spent six months an hour behind the rest of the country. Here for the first time we feature Morton’s story in his own words. I had been living in the uk for 14 years and had gradually got used to the clock changes, though they did catch me out when I first moved over as we don’t have them in Iceland. In the March of last year I went back home to visit an elderly aunt who had fallen ill quite unexpectedly. I spent a month away back in my home town in Reykjavik looking after her. However, once my aunt had recovered enough to look after herself I booked the first flight back to the uk I inadvertently ended up flying back to Manchester from Reykjavik late in the evening of March 21. During the flight the extended daylight saving hour was taken in the uk, however, I was stuck over international waters at the time locked away in the aeroplane toilet. I seemed to be in the cubicle for an eternity. When I did eventually get up to go back to my seat it felt as if I was moving in slow motion. As we arrived at Manchester everyone sped off the flight, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t keep up. I felt physically fit and able but even as I sprinted I seemed to move further backwards. Finally I reached a deserted luggage carousel but it was moving at such a pace that it took me several attempts to grab my baggage. The same situation arose when trying to catch a taxi.


1 2

The Everyday Resistance Movement The Everyday Resistance Movement

I fell into a very deep sleep as soon as I got back to my bed. The next morning I woke up and thought maybe the experiences of the prior evening were due to tiredness or the effects of travelling. I realised something was still amiss though when I turned on morning tv and all the shows were not only an hour ahead but also seemed to be played in fast forward. I changed my watch to be an hour ahead but the second hand ticked slower and slower, losing time until I was back to same distance behind as when I had changed it. I spent the next 6 months an hour behind the uk and the rest of Western Europe. Apparently whilst I was sat on the toilet on the plane everyone else on the flight had received the hour change as part of the in flight entertainment. Due to a clerical error the flight attendant had not received the right information to change the time zone of the aeroplane toilet. I didn’t feel I could talk to anyone about what had happened for fear they’d think I’d gone mad. So many people I have spoken to since my story came out have joked asking me why I didn’t watch channels like e4+1 or online catch up programs like i-player but they are really missing the point. Both of these would play to me as if on fast forward to me. The only possible way I could watch tv was to record a show via vhs and play it back in slow motion. I could never fully adjust to my hour difference, the speed of life was impossible. I struggled to keep pace with the world and became very isolated. It was a real effort to understand people as when they spoke to me it always sounded twice as fast. I constantly had to ask people to talk slower and even then it took all my concentration to stay in tune. Trying to run my Podiatry business was impossible, even after all the time planning and schedules for

1 2

3


clients appointments would seem to drag on and on while for me they would race by. The final straw came one day I obliviously held my hand on a ladies foot for a seemingly inordinate amount of time trying to diagnose a problem. To me the time seemed only a few seconds but to her it lasted long enough to seem inappropriate. October 31st last year came as such a relief. That was the day the clocks went back again. Time came back to me and I fell back in line with the rest of the world. I am still getting used to being back on time and some days I still feel in my own world. This year when the clock’s go forward I will make sure I am tucked up in the comfort of my bed in my home in Wilmslow far away from international waters and aeroplane toilet cubicles.

Our eyes are aching

Heart Radio’s daytime playlist continues

Suddenly it is summer

Suddenly it is Christmas

This everyday resistance is:

For everyone who is slightly tired

For everyone who has lost track of today’s date

For everyone with disproportionately worn out shoe soles

For everyone who cannot quite remember why

For everyone who cannot quite remember how

To submit any writing, image, drawing or other piece to the fourth erm chapbook send to: [email protected]

3



5


6

Monologue (Recorded 28.12.2009)

I’m in trouble aren’t I? My girlfriends just had a baby and it’s bloody brilliant it is but I’m playing on computers. I’ve got the new cod, that’s Call of Duty and I want to complete it and the babies crying and which do you choose, the baby or the computer? You choose the baby of course but all my mates they are gamers too and I don’t hang around with them anymore as much. They’re on Xbox Live and I am tuning in but they don’t want to hear the baby crying it the back so I mute it but that means that I’m not speaking to them and I’ve lost touch with a lot of chaps like that. I had Saturday to myself; I set aside a level to do. I invited my mate to come over and we were doing this level together. He is dropping things from the helicopter and I’m on the ground and we’re getting on, we’re doing ok, we were getting to the check point and then I get a phone call from my girlfriend Jen. She say’s, ‘Oh, our Matthew has got a rash’, of course I’m beside myself I said, ‘look mate we’re going to have to leave this game and pick it up another day. I jetted straight over there to see her but the baby had just been lying in some talcum powder and it had gone pink. That was that. I used to be on the scoreboards for these things but now I have just dropped right off. But I think you know this is the hard part when he gets to three, four we can get him a Wii. Five, to six probably just, you know, keep on; I mean I’ll be just pretending, I’ll batter him. But nine, ten if I get him like a PlayStation or whatever it is then, he may be able to give me a little bit of a game. But I suppose what I am really looking forward to is the teens because that’s where I picked it up really it was the teens. Before that I was just out on the streets and I could have gone one of a few ways really but I got into my gaming and I stayed inside. I wasn’t knocking about with some of the lads doing what they were doing, I just had to complete the level. I’d get the book with the cheats, it wasn’t like it is now with your YouTube’s and all that.


7

I’d just sit there and work my way through the book. I think I lost a whole month on Metal Gear Solid. That was around my gcse time I seem to remember. But you know but I’ve tried, Like I’ve got a toy for him and I’ve said ‘Here look this is square, this is triangle and this is circle. You know ‘rb’ that’s for your aim or that’s your trigger but you he just can’t take it in. But he’ll get there. I just don’t want to have one of those kids that, you know, you take him round to play with his mates and he’s losing on say Call of Duty or Fifa. I want him to go, he doesn’t have to be the best at Fifa but just hold his own. It’s always a bit of a worry at the moment but he is only like under twelve months old but I’m just trying to give him the best possible start so he will be able and that is all you can really do as a Dad isn’t it, that’s all you can do.

8



9


10

Lynn Tolly Personal Trainer (ltpt)

My name is Lynn I am the founder of ltpt, the most prestige and bespoke personal training service in the heart of Church Hill South, within Redditch within United Kingdom.

I get a lot of people coming up to me and asking me for advice on the best way to get fit. I would like to just get a few tips down in print so these people can ease off a little. I’ve made a mint out of getting people running about and stuff, now I’m ready to give a little bit back to the community and get some good press coverage. People are more unfit than ever. We can all blame our jobs, lifestyles and coach potatoes but I’m here to change things. A good way to start getting fit if you haven’t done much for a while is to go for a walk or something. You can walk to the toilet, to the kitchen or even upstairs initially. If you are walking in the house you can do it in socks but if you are outside you may want to get some shoes. You can get shoes from shops on the high street or off the internet. Shoes can be bought in exchange for money. Shoes are worn on your feet and come in pairs. Many pairs can be tied using laces. Before you order a pair you should measure your feet to know what size you are. You can now buy shoes with wheels in them, these are good because they make you go fast. The faster you go the quicker you lose weight, when you move faster calories are blown off quicker by the wind. Going down hills is very good, try to avoid going up hills though. Another way to keep fit is to kick your legs while in the bath. To ensure good weight loss you should do your initial weigh in wearing several layers of wet clothing and after a heavy meal. For magical results your following weigh in should then be done first thing in the morning naked and on one foot.


13 14


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16

Rick MarollYouTube

I’ve lost my mind on YouTubeIt’s playing on loopEmpty spaces in the conversationI keep falling in my soupThe cats been dancingA large ladies prancingBut I’ve lost my mind on YouTubeIt’s wasting my youth

There’s a teenager from AmericaThere always isI believed I’d dust my broom this morningBut I never didBecause I’ve lost my mind on YouTube

I’ve lost my mind on YouTubeI threw away my tv

My eyes are hanging heavyI’ve already missed my teaThe hamsters scratchingand the monkeys catchingI’ve lost my mind on YouTubeIt’s playing on loop

16



17 18

What a lovely day to drive to the tip

2:33pm Mar 13th via web

An air of disappointment, a Lillet and the

remnants of blue paint left behind the hall

way radiator by the prior tenants

1:43 pm Mar 15th via web

I don’t care what the Loose Women say I bet

they have the heating on full blast in their

houses all day long

2:01pm Mar 15th via web

Kriss Akabusi was up early this morning

8:59 am Mar 16th via web

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nam

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use

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xper

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19 20


Hi E

very

day

Res

ista

nce

,

I go

t yo

ur

call

for

subm

issi

ons

thro

ugh

my

doo

r an

d ju

st w

ond

ered

how

com

mer

cial

ly

viab

le y

our

mov

emen

t is

. By

all m

ean

s yo

u c

an c

arry

on

pos

tin

g yo

ur

littl

e le

afle

ts

thro

ugh

th

e d

oor

to s

it n

ext

to t

akea

way

an

d t

axi a

dver

ts b

ut

I th

ink

you

nee

d t

o op

en

you

r op

por

tun

itie

s. I

’m w

orri

ed p

eop

le a

re g

etti

ng

thei

r h

and

s on

you

r st

uff

for

fre

e.

Let

me

just

tel

l you

a b

it a

bou

t m

e.

My

nam

e is

Dav

e Sm

iley

and

I a

m a

web

en

trep

ren

eur.

I am

an

Eba

y p

ower

sel

ler

and

h

ave

a w

ay a

bove

80%

cu

stom

er s

atis

fact

ion

rat

ing.

I’m

not

just

som

e d

ream

er w

orki

ng

out

of a

sp

are

bed

room

in m

y m

om’s

hou

se. B

asic

ally

th

e w

ay I

’m r

un

nin

g m

y bu

sin

ess

is ju

st li

ke a

ny t

op E

uro

pea

n p

rofe

ssio

nal

com

pan

y. I

’ve

got

the

wh

ole

din

ing

room

, p

antr

y an

d t

he

use

of

the

gara

ge f

or s

tock

. Wh

at w

e ar

e se

llin

g h

ere

isn

’t so

mu

ch a

br

and

as

an e

xper

ien

ce. I

sel

l hip

s. L

adie

s h

ips,

men

’s h

ips.

Any

hip

s it

rea

lly d

oesn

’t bo

ther

me.

Siz

e 10

, 12,

14,

18

wh

atev

er s

ize

you

wan

t, w

e’ve

got

th

em. L

atin

o, c

hild

be

arin

g, b

uild

er, m

uff

in a

nd

hou

r gl

ass.

T

he

oth

er d

ay I

got

an

em

ail f

rom

Jon

Bon

Jov

i he

wro

te, ‘

Dav

e I’

ve s

een

you

r E

bay

acco

un

t, I

like

wh

at y

ou’r

e d

oin

g, n

ow I

’m g

oin

g to

be

per

form

ing

at t

he

ne

c s

oon

an

d

I w

ant

som

e h

ips.

’ I p

ush

ed t

hro

ugh

a ‘B

uy

it n

ow’ d

eal f

or h

im, I

sen

t ou

t a

pai

r of

si

ze 1

8’s

that

day

an

d t

he

nex

t d

ay h

e le

ft m

e gl

owin

g fe

edba

ck. I

t’s t

hat

’s s

imp

le.

Wh

at I

try

to

do

her

e is

off

er a

wh

ole

pac

kage

an

d o

f co

urs

e p

osta

ge. M

y am

biti

ons

are

to e

xpan

d o

ver

the

nex

t fe

w y

ears

an

d m

aybe

tak

e in

an

oth

er m

embe

r of

sta

ff

to t

ake

care

of

the

pap

er w

ork.

I’v

e h

ad k

ids

from

th

e lo

cal c

omp

reh

ensi

ve o

n w

ork

exp

erie

nce

her

e sh

adow

ing

Mom

to

see

if t

hey

cou

ld s

uit

th

e ro

le, b

ut

non

e of

th

em

hav

e co

me

up

to

scra

tch

an

d t

hey

will

wan

t p

ayin

g to

do

wh

at s

he

doe

s fo

r fr

ee.

All

in a

ll I

am r

eally

on

th

e u

p. I

’ve

just

had

a b

ig d

eal g

one

thro

ugh

his

wee

k an

d

now

see

ms

to b

e th

e op

por

tun

e ti

me

to d

o bu

sin

ess

wit

h m

e be

fore

my

stoc

k in

th

e bu

sin

ess

wor

ld r

ises

eve

n f

urt

her

an

d m

y p

rice

inev

itab

ly g

o u

p. I

f yo

u w

ant

me

to g

et

invo

lved

in t

he

selli

ng

of t

he

mov

emen

t I

wou

ld b

e m

ore

than

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21 22

List of Contributors:

John BobbinsTristen Wankwimper and The Charity Wrist BandEbay Casio’s Checked Shirt Reunion PartyLynn TollyShinthigh Plastic Plastic

This is a call for submissions looking for anyone and everyone to contribute, of any age, especially the people who would not usually get the opportunity to do many creative activities. Show us your hidden talent and get involved.

To submit any writing, image, drawing, video, monologue, joke or other piece to the second erm chapbook send to: [email protected]

You can also follow us online at: twitter.com/DailyResistance/ [email protected]

THE DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS TO BE INCLUDED IN THE FIRST ERM CHAPBOOK IS APRIL 22 2010.

We look forward to hearing from you.

The Everyday Resistance Movement (We have spent a lot of time and effort doing things that many people may not care about)


erm3 march

Documents

hour change didnt

rest of life

best offer

mortons story

generic term

extended daylight

value of creativity

monthly broadside