EntryName:WAAAGH!Screwbitz

TherewasalowringingthroughthehallsoftheWingsofJustice.Thesoundoftheklaxon

fadingandbeingreplacedbythegeneralhumofthewarpdrive.Unsureofwhatcausedthe

alarm,InquisitorJa'Quinnchosetoignoreit.Tallandpreciseinmovements,Ja'Quinnstrode

withhastetowardthere-purposedconferenceroom.Goldenhairwithastrongjaw,the

Inquisitorwouldbecalledhandsomeifnotbeautiful.Ja'Quinnabsentlythumbedtheholsterof

hislas-pistolashetriedtomakesenseofhis...“guest's”story.Thenavalcrewhepassed

salutedhimalthoughothersturnedtoavoidhimwhentheysawhimcoming.Everyoneaboard

knewthathewaswiththeInquisitionandtheywereunderstandablyuncomfortable,worried

thatanymisstepwouldcauseJa'Quinntodenouncethemforheresy.Ja'Quinnignoredtherude

behaviortoo,moreconcernedwiththeproblemathand.Therewasapuzzlehere,reminding

himofthetwistedpuzzlesthathisfathermadefromscrapmetalintheunder-hiveon

Armageddon.Hefeltthatwiththerightpull,everythingwouldbecomeclear.Hejustneededto

findtherightpiece.

Enteringtheconferenceroom,Ja'Quinnsawthathisguestwasstillbeingentertainedby

Groomp.Theogrynwasloyalbeyondmeasureandequallyasstupid.Groomphadamechanical

eyethatreplacedtheonehehadlostinservicetoJa'Quinnwhichtheogrynfeltmadehim

smarter.Still,GroompwouldonlyfollowordersfromJa'Quinnhimselfandthatmadehim

reliableenoughtowatchovertheguest.

GuardsmanLeothGreywasdressedinplainworkclothes,gatheredfromthecrewoftheWings

ofJustice.Shortcroppedbrownhair,andatooyouthfulface,Greywasthepieceofthepuzzle

thatJa'Quinnneededtotwisttoday.AstheInquisitorentered,Greyrosetohisfeetand

saluted.Groompwithdrewtoacornerandbegantoeatsomethingsmellyfromhispocket.

“Guardsman,Iamfeelingtalkativetoday.IhavereviewedyourstatementsfromearlierandI

feelthatthereissomethingmissing,maybeintentionally,ormaybenot.However,Ifeelthat

givenyourintimateknowledgeofthe...incident,acertainamountofhistorymighthelpyou

remembertheseomissions.”TheInquisitorstudiedGrey,waitingtoseeifhis

speechchangedthesoldier'sdemeanor.
“Yes,sir.”wasGrey'scurtreply.
“Guardsman,whatI

amabouttosharewithyouissealedtothe

InquisitionandtheEmperor,mayheliveforever.Thisinformationwaspiecedtogetherwith

recordsfromtheMinistourumandfromdata-slatesthatwererecoveredfromthemoon.”

Ja'QuinnremovedaholocubefromhispouchandopenedthefiledepictingtheplanetGanesha.

TheimageprojectedfromthecubewashedtheroominorangelightcausingGroomptoglance

upfromhissnack.Thethreedimensionalimagewasnotstationary.Themoonwasslowly

orbitingtheplanet.“ThisplanetwaslosttotheImperiumforanumberofyears.Warpstorms

madethisareaofthesegmentumunreachable.Beforethat,Ganeshawasalushworldwitha

favorableclimateforcolonization.Inadditionthemoon,FMS-4711,wasripewithmineralsthat

wouldbebeneficialtotheImperium.Itwastenyearsafterthefirstcolonistsweresettledthat

thesinisterEldarbegantheirattackontheworld.Usingthelargelyignoredmoonasitsbasefor

counteroperations,theAstraMilitarumfoughttheEldartoastandstillfornearlytwentyyears.

MostoftheinitialcoloniesweredestroyedbytheXenos,butwestillhadastrongpresenceon

thesouthernhemisphereand,ofcourse,onthemoonFMS-4711.”

GreylistenedwithapparentinterestastheInquisitorrecountedthestory.Ja'Quinnhadto

believethateithertheGuardsmanhadnoknowledgeoftheseeventsorthathewasverywell

trainedindeception.“Afterthisperiodoftwentyyears,theEldarbegantoreceive

reinforcementsfromsomewhereunknownandbegantoturnthetideofthisengagement

againsttheImperium.Allseemedlost.Therecordsshowthatviciouswarpstormsoriginated

aroundthistimepreventingassistancefromtheAstartesortheImperialNavy.However,

recordsfromthemoonthatwehaverecentlydiscoveredshowthatanothersignificantevent

occurredatthesametime.AnImperialcruisercrashedintothemoon-base.Shortlyafterthis

event,Orksappearedenmasse.ThiseventruinedanychancefortheMilitarumtocontinue

operationsagainsttheEldar.Thosethatwereonthesurfaceoftheplanetwerelikelyoverrun.

TotheknowledgeoftheImperiumitself,GaneshaandFMS-4711werelost.”Greyswallowedat

thispoint,andtheInquisitornoticedatwitchinhisbluelefteye.“Lost.Until,thatis,we

receivedthedistresscall...”

*****

Deepwithinthemines,Screwbitz,theMadMeksmiled.Hehadrebuiltthehumansignal

device.StaringattheunfamiliarcharactersthatflashedacrossthescreenScrewbitzknewthat

theywouldcome.Itdidn'matterwho.Theonlythingthatmatteredwassomethingwould

come.TheKlanzgrewrestless.Krumpingthelasthumansandsmashingtherobotdefensesof

thisoldplacehadhelpedforatime,buttheMadMekknewthathisboyzwantedaproper

scrap.Thepansiesquitcomingawhilebackandthespikypansieshadrunoff.Moremachine

thanOrk,Screwbitzfilledthecontrolchamberwithhisimmensebulk.Hisnewbodywasa

visionfromGork.Builtfromsomesortofwalkingvehiclethattheboyzhadblownup,Screwbitz

nowhadfourpowerfullegstogoalongwithhisgiantKlaw.

“Impressive,greatleader.YourknowledgeofthemachinesofManisamazingtobehold...”

Screwbitzturnedtowardthespeaker.Thisraggedyhuman,withhisbigblueeyespretendedto

grovel.Heusedbigwordstotryandconfuse.TheMadMeksawthroughhisdissembling.

Suppressingtheurgetoripthespeakerinhalf,Screwbitzspoke.

“Oomie,yerwalkin'alineyadonsee.We'zalreadyfoun'darestofyerboyz,an'meladzbled

'emnice.Iwan'anserzfromye.QuestshunsIgotfo'ye.O'lyrezunyer'livenow.”Therumbling

voicesoundedliketheengineofoneofthegreatearthmovingmachinesthatthehumanshad

leftbehind.ThevoiceoftheBigMekalmostseemedtoshaketheentirechamber.Thebigblue

eyeswidened,butthegazeremainedfirm,givingawayhispretense.

“Mercy,ohGreatOne!Icanbeveryvaluable.Ihaveintimateknowledgeofthismine.Iwasa

partofthecrewhere.”

Screwbitzturnedtofacethehuman.Withaloudburstofsteam,hisKlawmovetowardthe

humandeftlygrabbingthefrontofthehuman'sshirt.Pickingthemanupwaseffortlessasthe

MadMekdrewhimtowardshismetallicface.

“Mercy?Never'erdof'im.Yergonnaansermyquestshuns.Doitrightlikeandquick,an'I'll

smashyefast.Messwifmean'I'lltossyetodasquigz.”Stillnofearintheeyes.

“Y-yes,MyLord!Ask!Please.YouwillseehowusefulIam.”“WerdarestuvdaDemonzat?”

Screwbitzsmiledagain–therewas

thefearthathadbeenmissing.
“D-Demons?Id-don't...”Screwbitzhurledthehumanacross

theroom

intoastandofunknownequipment.Ashowerofsparksfannedacrosstheroomfromthe

brokenmachinery.Bloodpooledoutfromagashontheman'shead,furthermattinghisclose

croppedbrownhair.

“Notgonnabefastnow.”Screwbitzbegantoadvanceuntilmovementfromtheentryway

distractedhim.Hugebat-likewingswerevisiblefromthedoorway.Themanbegantolaugh

thoughbloodclenchedteeth.

“Nowyouwillsee!FilthyOrk!Youruinedit!Allofitwasgoingaccordingtoplan!Mymasteris

herenow...”Thehumanrosetohiskneesandstoppedashetookintherestoftheform.

Demonichornsthrustfromalargegreenface,thewingsgreenaswell.

“Boss,hetellzus?”Thecreaturespoke.Greenenergyroseoffofhisbodylikefluidfalling

upward.Hisskinseemedtoglowwiththisgreenenergy.Aredpulsingwasnoticeableinafew

spots,cracksamongstthegreen.

“Almost,”theMadMekturnedagaintowardthekneelinghuman,“Werdarestat?Me

weirdboysuriz'ungry.”Blueeyesbulgedinthehuman'sface.Hismouthseemedtobetryingto

formwords.Screwbitzlaughed,thesoundofmetalgrindingbonestodust.“Can'tfin'yer

wordz?Li'loomie.DaBludDrinkaluvseatin''arts.Demon'artsizdabestfer'im.We'zfoundda

firs'unz.Weknowzderzmore.”

“Imp-No!Youspeaklies,Ork!Theritualwillbefinished!Greenskinbloodwillsufficeformy

masters.”Thehumanroseunsteadilytohisfeet.“Ihavepower,ohyes,Ihavebeenmarkedby

mymasters.Iwillbringyoutoheel!”Themanrippedopenhisshirtrevealingastrangemark

brandedintohischest.Energybegantopulsefromtheimage.Theroombegantogrowcold.

Screwbitzlaughed.Darkpsychicenergymanifestedintoawrithingwhipthatlashedoutatthe

BigMek.Itcollidedwithagreenforce,ashieldofenergycreatedbythewingedweirdboy.The

manshriekedinfrustrationandrage,hedoubledhisefforts.Screwbitzadvanced,laughing,

enjoyingthefutilespectaclebeforehim.“Deffwillbeslowferye.”HisKlawlashedoutwith

incrediblespeed,connectingwithasquelch.Blacknesstooktheman.Thelastsoundheheard

wasScrewbitzinanalmostwhisper–“Slow.”

*****

“WhatcanyoutellusoftheOrkleader?Fromyourreport,youhaveencounteredhim?”

Ja'QuinnsawthathewasmakingGreyuncomfortable.Anothermighthavemissedthesigns.

Greywasanexcellentliar.

“HecallshimselfScrewbitz,sir.AsillynameintheOrkfashion.Hehasaugmentedhimselfwith

machinestakenfromtheEldar.Itwouldseemthathisknackforre-purposingtechnologyiswhy

hetookthemoniker.However,heisextremelydangerous.Mostofwhatwasleftbehindatthe

maindigsiteonthemoonhasbeenfashionedintoOrkweaponry.”

“Hardlyunusual,Guardsman.Orksarenotoriouslooters.”

“Indeed,sir.Thescaleatwhichhedoesthisiswhatisremarkable.Hehas...”

“Thatisnotwhatisimportant.Thequestionofhowhereplicatedthedistresssignalis.Wehave

detectedthissignalonmultiplechannels.Theauthorizationcodesneededforthiswouldbe

beyondtheunderstandingofanyOrk.”Ja'Quinnletthatsinkin.HecouldseeGrey'smind

workingfuriously,asinglebeadofsweatbegantoformabovethetooblueeyesofhisguest.

“Inquisitor,areyouimplyingthatsomeonegavehimthecodes?Thatwouldseemlesslikely

than...well,thananythingelse.ThisScrewbitzisamaniac,sir.Humanlife,oranylife,means

nothingtohim.”

“So,Guardsman,youwouldratherIassumethatthisOrkfromaback-watermoon,managed

tointerfacewithandcrackanencryptedcodesequenceusinghis...what?Luck?Superior

intellect?No,Grey.Thereisatraitorhere.Thatistheonlyexplanation.Someonebetrayedthe

ImperiumandtheEmperor,mayheliveforever,justtosavetheirownsorryskin.”

Greywasstill.HecouldseewhatJa'Quinnmeant.“Sir.Siryouaremistaken.I...survivedmy

encounterwiththatbeastbyluck.Idon'tknowthecodesneededtosendthesignal.I...Iam

not...”

“Enough.Youaregoodatthegameofsecrets,Grey.Iambetter.”Ja'QuinngesturedtoGroomp

andtheogrynmovedfromhiscorner.“ThereissomethingyouarehidingfrommeandImean

tohaveit.”

Grey'sheadswiveledbetweentheInquisitorandGroomp.Hismovementswerethoseofa

corneredanimal.“Sir.Sir...youmust,Sir!”Theklaxoncametolifeagain,itssounddrowning

outGrey'spanickedbreaths.Suddenlytheshiplurched.Gravitychangeddirectionandthe

Guardsman

wasflungtowardtheroof.Groompputoneofhismassivehandsagainsttheceilingandstayed

put,bracinghimselfandgrabbingJa'Quinnoutofmidair.Justasabruptlygravitywasrestored

andGreywasslammedbacktotheground.

“Itappearsourfriendhasfainted,Groomp.Tiehimup.Ifhespeakstoyouwithoutmehere,

knockhimoutagain.Ineedtoassesthesituation.”

*****

“Itissomesortofmassivetractorbeam,Inquisitor.Comingfromthemoon.Itisnotstrong

enoughtopullusin,butifwemaintainourcurrentdistance,thingscouldgetbumpy.”The

Captainwasresplendentinhisuniform.Hissnowwhitehairwasperfectlymanicuredforhis

rank.MoredirectthanmostwhendealingwithanagentoftheInquisition,CaptainEdwards

wasaseasonedveteranwiththeNavy.Asiftopunctuatehisstatementstheklaxonflaredto

lifeoncemore,abriefwarningbeforethetractorbeamshooktheship.

“Well,Captain.Iwouldnotliketoseeanysignificantdamagetoyourvessel.Iwillneeda

shuttle.Youwilltraveltoasaferdistanceandbroadcastamessageforme.”Ja'Quinnhanded

Edwardsadata-slate.

“Youaregoingdownthere?Howmanyofmymendoyouneed?”

Ja'Quinnsmiled.ThisEdwardswasabrightspotinthismess.Acommendationletterwouldbe

required.“Onlyone.Asecondarypilotfortheshuttle.Ihavemyowntoassistwitheverything

else.Makesureheissteady,Captain.”

CaptainEdwardssaluted,“I'llhaveone,Inquisitor.”*****

“Wakeup,heretic.”
Greyopenedhiseyes.ThefamiliarbrownishblueoftheskyonFMS–

4711greetedhim.Theconstantduststormswereblowinginfull.Grimewascakedtohiseyes

andlips.Greylookedaroundandnoticedtheshuttle.The

largeogrynwasnearbywatchinghim.TheInquisitorwasdiscussingsomethingwithacrewman.

“Youmissedplanet-fall.Sleptlikeababyrightthroughit.Mustbenicetohavesuchaclear

conscience.Orisitaconcussion?”

Thespeakerwasawoman.Dressedingrayandbrownfatigues,shealmostseemedtoblend

intothesurroundingwithouttrying.Nohairwasvisibleunderhertightwrappedheadgear.

Goggleshidhereyesbutherskinwaspalearoundhermouth.Despitethecamogearshewas

wearing,thefigurewasdistinctlyfemale.Onlyafoolwouldfailtonotice.Greydecidednotto

answer.Bidinghistimeseemedbest.

“Mostlikelyaconcussion,”Ja'Quinncalledoverhisshoulder.“Wehavenotimeforhisinjuries

now.Hehasoneroletoplay.”

Grey'smindspun.Role?Whatisthisdamnedfooltalkingabout?TheInquisitorhadnoidea

howfaroffthemarkhewas.ThosedamnedOrks!Theyruinedeverything.Thegatewasclose,

hisbrothershadturnedthemajorityoftherankstotheircause.TheEldarandtheirDark

brethrenhadtheforcesonGeneshaallbutdefeated.Theritualtosummonthewarpstorms

hadbeenasuccess.Thenoutofnowhere,theseOrksattackedthemoon.Yearsofplanning

destroyedbythesefilthyaliens.

“Youhavesecretsstill,Guardsman.Iseethepanicinyourface.Youarewelltrained.However,

thispuzzleisgettingmoreinterestingthemoreIdig.”Ja'Quinnpulledarolled-upparchment

fromhisbag.“ThisIreceivedasagift.Itwasstrangetocomeacrossitonmyfirstvisittothis

moon,whenIscoopedyouup,Grey.MyfirstvisitIwasgiventhisandIhadnoideawhatitwas.

Well,Iknewwhatitwas,justnotthecontext.”TheInquisitorbegantounrollthebundle.It

lookedmorelikethinleatherthanparchment,cracksanddriedbloodalongthebackside.Ashe

finished,Ja'Quinnshowedhimtheskin.ThemarkofChaosbrandeddeep.

Greyclutchedhischest.Impossible!ThewomanreachedoverandtoreopenGrey'sshirt

revealingthescarredflesh.ThedeepwoundswherehehadbeenskinnedbyScrewbitznow

visible.Thepainandmemoriescameback.Thestrangelaughingmedic,keepinghimawake

whilethemonsterdidhiswork.Greyfeltthemachineinsidehim.Themechanicalheartthat

Screwbitzhadplacedinsidehisbodytokeephimaliveburned.HerememberedtheBludDrinka

laughingwhileitatehisrealheart.“NomorDemonzlef,yurz'illdo.”HowcouldthisInquisitor

havegottenthatskin?

Footstepslikethunder.Overtheridgehesaw.ScrewbitzfollowedbyahostofOrks.His

machinebodyspewingsmokeandsteam.Theogryngrewtense.Thecrewmanrushedback

ontotheshuttle.Ja'Quinnwasunfazed.

“SoyouaretheBoss,then?Screwbitz?”Ja'Quinnaskedofthemassivemetalmonster.

“Dazright,IbeDaMadMek,Screwbitz!”HundredsofOrkvoicestookuptheenergy,

“Screwbitz!Screwbitz!”Afewshottheirweaponsintotheair.“Gotmepresent?Good.Inew

uzeoomieswudlikedatone.I'adfunmeself.”

“Whygivemethis?Whydidyouletthisonelive?”

“EezaDemonluvin'oomie,datone.Planin'tobringallsortsof'em'ere.Gotzhiztemple,hiz

ladz,evenacoupleactualDemonz!Deylivin'inmecaveztillmyladzsmashed'em!,”More

cheersandgunfire.“Datone,Isayzhegonnadierealslow.Iskinzhim.Itakezhiz'art.DenIfix

'imupgud.Eezaliar,gudun.Isayztomehowtamake'imreallyreallysuffa?Give'imbackto

daoomies!”HideouslaughterechoedfromahundredOrkvoices.

“Onemorething,Screwbitz,howdidyoucrackthecodesforthedistresssignal?”

Thelaughterstopped.Amechanicaleye,akintotheoneGroompwore,whirredandrefocused.

ScrewbitzmovedhismassivebulktowardJa'Quinn.Quietly,likethehumofthewarpdriveback

ontheWingsofJustice,“Iizvery,verysmart,Ja'Quinn.YougotBigBossBludFisttocome'ere.

Youwasplannin'onusladzkrumpindeesDemonluvas.BludFistgotKrumped.Screwbitzizda

bossnow.Yewashopin'myboyzwouldbuyyetime.Well,wesmashedyerproblem,andden

wegotbored.Daplanetdowndereizfulluvscrappinan'Iwantin.SozIsayz,ifnoonecomez

'ere,wecan'tgofightdere.SoIneedshipztocome'ere.”Screwbitzsmiled,ahorridrictuswith

hismassivemetaljaw.“Urdone'ere,Ja'Quinn.Gitoffmemoon'lessIchangememine.”

Greywasstunned.TheOrkswerebroughtherebyJa'Quinn?TheInquisitionknewtheirplan?

“Wait!Thiswasplanned?Youknewallalong?”

Ja'Quinnturnedbacktotheshuttle,“Thewarpstormspreventedthearrivalofthefleetmeant

todestroyyourattemptedincursion.Ihadtoseekothermethodstosavethisarea.”

“Save?Youdoomedthissystem!Doyouseethemonsteryoucreated,Inquisitor?Xenos?You

areasmuchofahereticasI!You...”Ja'Quinn'slas-pistolsilencedGreyforever.Screwbitz

laughed;alandslide.

“Iwuzwantin''imtosuffamor!”

Ja'Quinn'sretinueboardedtheshuttle,“Screwbitz.TheMadMek.Afittingname.”

***** Transmission: Inquisitional report from Ja'Quinn of the Ordo Xenos

Betram. A new player in the game. FMS – 4711 a moon orbiting the disputed planet Genesha, is now home to a gathering force of Orks. Their leader calls himself Screwbitz. He is very cunning for his race and is determined to leave the moon and become entwined in the battle for Ganesha. Looks like it could be the start of something big. This Ork is responsible for the activation of distress beacon 93- 1979. Also, it would seem that these Orks dealt with the other issue for us. I would advise avoiding the area for the time being. Other Xenos will likely be drawn to the signal as well as rogue traders in the area looking for wealth. We still need to observe. Also recommend written commendation for Captain Lucas Edwards of the Wings of Justice. Praise to the Emperor, may he live forever.