ed batista, the art of self-coaching @stanfordbiz, class 2: change
TRANSCRIPT
The art of
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self-coachingEd BatistaCLASS 2: CHANGE
Change & mindset 15 minsA conversation 30 minsGoals & grit 15 minsAnother conversation 30 minsFor next time… 5 mins
Agenda
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I will…Give you my bestWelcome inputEnd on time
Workingagreements
WorkingagreementsI ask you to…
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WorkingagreementsI ask you to…Start on time
WorkingI ask you to…Challenge yourself
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Minimizedistractions
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Respectconfidentiality
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Start on timeChallenge yourselfMinimize distractionsRespect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements
Before we get
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down to business
Mental models
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Our perceptions shape realityHow we define experiencesHow we see ourselves
Kurt Lewin & Edgar ScheinWhy is change so hard?Why do we resist it?
Change
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Behavior is stableWe’re frozen in patterns
Change
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Driving forces favor changeRestraining forces resist it
Change
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Patterns keep these forces balancedChange requires unfreezing
Change
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Driving force = Survival anxiety I must change in order to to achieve my goals
Change
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Restraining force = Learning anxiety Change means a new identity or loss of self-esteem
Change
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Increase survival anxiety to change?Or decrease learning anxiety?Both are necessary
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing1. Disconfirmation Dissatisfaction created by confounding data Necessary but insufficient (Dismissal, denial, blame)
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing2. A little survival anxiety Confounding data = I need to change
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing3. Psychological safety Critical to overcoming defensiveness & denial
Change
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Threat from survival anxiety mustbe balanced by sufficient safetyto decrease learning anxiety
Change
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Change =Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Psychological safety
Change
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Carol Dweck, StanfordA mental model about ourselvesHow do we perceive our abilities?How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset
Mindset
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Fixed GrowthAbilities Inherent PlasticMistakes Flaws Opportunitie
sResponse Negative Neutral
Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed GrowthAgency Diminished HeightenedSeeking Approval Challenges
Risk Averse Tolerant
Change, mindset & self-coaching
Signs of a fixed or growth mindset?Recognize it as a mental modelOne to challenge or affirm
Change, mindset
A fixed mindset can be comfortingLetting go can be threateningChange requires safety
& self-coaching
Change, mindset
Mistakes & setbacks = Learning opportunitiesNew attitude or behavior ≠ New identitySelf-definition = Work-in-progress
& self-coaching
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen, Empathize
Coaching toolsAskPure: Open-ended questionsDiagnostic: Focus their attentionConfrontational: Challenge their narrative
Coaching toolsAsk, ListenHearing ≠ listeningMake them feel heard
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen, EmpathizeNot “Look on the bright side”Or “My problem’s worse!”Or “Here’s some advice”
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen, EmpathizeAvoid judgmentsSense & validate emotionsConvey understanding (≠ agreement)
When do goals support performance?When we’re… Able Committed Unconflicted
Goals
GoalsWhen do goals get in the way?Learning > PerformanceThreat = Counter-productiveDiminish enjoyment & motivation
GoalsEffective goals…Generate feedbackHeighten commitmentDon’t obscure the big picture
Goals &self-coachingGoals ≠ badPrescription medicineGet curious about failure
GritAngela Duckworth, Univ. of PennsylvaniaWho succeeds and why?
GritPerseverance mattersLong-term stamina > Short-term intensity
GritPositive correlation with achievementNegative correlation with talentMore talent = Less persistence?
GritDeliberate practice AchievementGrittier people practice moreAchievers = Talent + grit?
Grit &Tentative findingsGrowth mindset & optimism are keyEmotion (Week 4)Resilience (Week 6)
self-coaching
Grit &One conclusion…Conscious willpower is insufficient
self-coaching
To sum up
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Safety Change Growth mindsetA (potential) virtuous cycleGrit may be a by-product
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Self-engagementOur mental models of ourselves
matterAn ongoing dialogue is essentialCoaching, journaling, reflection
For next time…
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Attention
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Bring your phones
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Other items…Slides will be posted on my siteWeek 3 Assignment due Tuesday 9pm1:1 meetings