Dynamics of Hope

Rabbi H. Rafael Goldstein,

Chaplain

The Book of Ruth

Gotta Love That Ruth!

Hebrew LessonHebrew Lesson

• Naomi Naomi

na’im, pleasantna’im, pleasant

• Ruth Ruth

re’ut, friendship/loyaltyre’ut, friendship/loyalty

even if it is standing right next to you.

When despair is the experience, you can’t see hope,

Ruth and Boaz have a kid: Obed

• Obed is the father of JesseObed is the father of Jesse

• Jesse is the father of King DavidJesse is the father of King David

• King David is the ancestor of the MessiahKing David is the ancestor of the Messiah

From despair, From despair, hope grows.hope grows.

• Hope is the only Hope is the only alternative to alternative to despairdespair.

Hope changes, shifts in all Hope changes, shifts in all directions.directions.

There is no such thing as a hopeless situation.

Only a situation in which people have lost track of what they can hope for.

Hope doesn’t have to be Hope doesn’t have to be for physical recovery, for physical recovery, cure, or resolution. cure, or resolution.

Hope can be establishing Hope can be establishing goals, thoughts, anything goals, thoughts, anything to lead to something to lead to something better.better.

Our job is to expand the Our job is to expand the horizons of hope.horizons of hope.

Where is God?

What is God’s job description?

God provides:

• StrengthStrength• CourageCourage• WisdomWisdom• SupportSupport• EncouragementEncouragement• HopeHope

God is not the local ATM

We are We are supposed to do supposed to do

what God what God wants, not try wants, not try to make God to make God do what we do what we

want.want.God ≠God ≠ Magic

Prayer is reflexive:

It is supposed to move us to achieve the

goals we want God to do for us

by magic.

The natural order of the world

Disease and disaster happen

People are supposed to People are supposed to help God complete help God complete

creation.creation.

We don’t have to like the reality of being human. But once we begin to accept our own humanity with some humility, we can then deal with hope, within the natural order of the world.

Definition of HopeDefinition of Hope

• An expectation that somehow, something good An expectation that somehow, something good will happen.will happen.

• Some belief that we have some control or Some belief that we have some control or influence.influence.

Dr. Jerome Groopman

The Anatomy of Hope

Hope comes in five qualities:

• Hope is clear-eyed• False hope/true hope• Everyone has the right to

hope• Step by step• Hope is undying

Hope comes in five

qualities:• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

Hope is clear-eyed:

His goals were simple: to His goals were simple: to get through each day get through each day finding something good, finding something good, some reason to live, some reason to live, some basis for feeling the some basis for feeling the blessings that remain in blessings that remain in his life.his life.

Hope comes in five qualities:

• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

We do people a great We do people a great disservice when we say disservice when we say that it’s less natural for a that it’s less natural for a parents to bury a child. parents to bury a child. Reality is, it is just as Reality is, it is just as natural. People die at all natural. People die at all ages, as we all know too ages, as we all know too well. By saying that it’s not well. By saying that it’s not in the natural order of the in the natural order of the world, we deny the reality world, we deny the reality and the possibility that and the possibility that people can find comfort people can find comfort among other people for among other people for whom the natural order of whom the natural order of the world has been the world has been particularly brutal.particularly brutal.

False hope/False hope/true hope:true hope:

Hope comes in five qualities:

• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

His denial was all he had His denial was all he had left, and he was clinging left, and he was clinging to denial as hard as he to denial as hard as he could. Sometimes denial could. Sometimes denial is a good coping is a good coping mechanism.mechanism.

Everyone has the right to hope:

Hope comes in five qualities:

• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

Step by step:

Accomplishing one Accomplishing one thing at a time, thing at a time, recognizing that recognizing that each step is an act each step is an act of faith and hope.of faith and hope.

Hope comes in five qualities:

• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross:Five stages of bereavement or of dying

•Denial

•Anger

•Bargaining

•Depression

•Acceptance

Rabbi Goldstein’s 6th stage:

gratitude, thankfulness

Hope comes in five

qualities:• Hope is clear-eyed

• False hope/true hope

• Everyone has the right to hope

• Step by step

• Hope is undying

Hope is Hope is undying:undying:

Hope continues, changes, Hope continues, changes, moves, and has so little moves, and has so little to do with predicted to do with predicted outcomes. Hope doesn’t outcomes. Hope doesn’t die; it is passed along to die; it is passed along to people who survive us.people who survive us.

The world was created so we could be free thinkers and The world was created so we could be free thinkers and doers. But God is not going to do our jobs for us, or bail doers. But God is not going to do our jobs for us, or bail us out when we screw up, or step in when illnesses or us out when we screw up, or step in when illnesses or tragedies develop that we weren’t expecting.tragedies develop that we weren’t expecting.

Hope never dies, never goes away, is passed along.Hope never dies, never goes away, is passed along.

Hope and prayer are realistic,

accepting the natural order of the world.

What can you hope for?What can you hope for?

What’s real and what’s appropriate: What’s real and what’s appropriate:

less pain and suffering,less pain and suffering,

increased strength,increased strength,

appetite,appetite,

courage,courage,

increased ability to share, talk and connect with the world,increased ability to share, talk and connect with the world,

peace and comfort,peace and comfort,

less to worry about,less to worry about,

a release from tension fear or anger.a release from tension fear or anger.

•Comfort in the world to come

•That loved ones find daily reminders of their relationships and the good times they shared

•Greater awareness of God’s love and support

God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the

difference.

Pandora’s Box was filled with human blessings.

They all escaped, except one.

Hope.

May we all find ways to pass hope May we all find ways to pass hope along, share it, and help ourselves and along, share it, and help ourselves and others move from darkness to light, others move from darkness to light, from despair to hope.from despair to hope.

Sources:

Niles Goldstein. Lost Souls: Finding Hope in the Heart of Darkness. Bell Tower, New York, 2002.Jerome Groopman, The Anatomy of Hope: How to Prevail in the Face of Illness. Random House, New York, 2004.Estelle Frankel. Sacred Therapy: Jewish Spiritual Teachings on Emotional Healing and Inner Wholeness. Shambala Press, Boston, 2003.Rabbi Maurice Lamm, The Power of Hope: The One Essential of Life and Love. Rawson Associates, New York 1995.Andrew Lester. Hope in Pastoral Care and Counseling. Westminster John Know Press, London,  1995.

© H. R. Goldstein, BCC 2005 All Rights Reserved