Download - The First Date
As Tom Matlack’s 16-year-old daughter waited for her date to arrive, she warned her father,
Tom Matlack, in The Good Men Project Magazine.
TheFirstDate
‘Dad, if you screw this up I’ll kill you.’
“You have a pseudo-‐beard, a necklace with a snake, and you’re huge,” my 16-‐year-‐old daughter, Kerry, said in a pleading voice.
“What are you saying?” I asked, with just a hint of a grin.
“He’s totally scared of you. Dad, If you screw this up I’ll kill you.”
“As the assistant man of the house,” Seamus, my 14-‐year-‐old son, chirped, sensing an opening, “I think
“And as assistant man of the house in training, Cole
“What could you possibly ask?” Kerry asked, now staring at Cole.
“You know, Cole could ask the kid’s favorite land animal,” Seamus deadpanned. “I want to know what farm animal he’d like to have sex with.”
For my daughter’s sake, I tried not to laugh. This Sat-‐
But I had to look away; Seamus’ humor hit that funny
the one that makes you laugh at funerals when every-‐one else is crying.
girl, of what she was like as a baby and toddler and teenager. How mighty the struggle had been to get to this moment.
County Kerry (Ciarraí in Gaelic) in Ireland is known
produced dark complexions and wild temperaments.A “Kerry Girl” is a free spirit. My Kerry may have blonde
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As a baby she never slept, but I tried to comfort her, spending the wee hours of the morning listening to
I separated. Kerry would come visit me in my rental apartment on Friday nights, and we’d grab a pizza in
Given an opening in any public space, the girl would
Beach, a huge expanse of sand and booming waves,
through the surf. I would jog behind, making sure she didn’t dive in over her head.
Once, I made the mistake of trying to take Kerry, then 3, and her baby brother Seamus in a snowstorm to
was canceled, but we were able to get out on a con-‐
Once there, all the airports shut down, and for sev-‐eral hours I chased Kerry from one terminal to the
baggage claim, she was standing proudly and holding my mom’s hand. She found her way with no help from me.
As Kerry grew into a teenager, her wild side found a place on the stage. I approached her junior-‐high and
wasn’t nervous, then I shouldn’t be nervous, either.
Kerry, and saw in our culture, about how sexuality is
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Kerry and I had many long discussions about why only
the rest had to put up with guys who only wanted
told me, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I could only admire her courage and strength in con-‐
-‐ing the prevailing terms of engagement with boys.
a trip to see Gwen Stefani for her birthday circled around in my head. Yes, Kerry had gone to the prom.
on her laptop, while simultaneously doing “home-‐work.”
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team, but refused to divulge any other details.Seamus and Cole had conveniently made their way out back to play soccer. Kerry’s stepmom, Elena, her
sure what to do. I wanted both Kerry and her date to feel secure in my approval, and I wanted Kerry to feel
already was.
In our front hallway, I saw a sweet-‐looking 17-‐year-‐old boy who had taken the subway from Wellesley to take
too.
I asked where they were going and when they would be home. He said they were going to a restaurant
was impressed; the kid seemed more responsible and mature than I was at his age.
Then they were gone.
Despite her fearlessness and wild streak, Kerry has grown into a graceful and composed young woman. Once again, she has shown me that I needn’t be ner-‐vous. I can trust her to do the right thing, even when she knows I’m not looking.
Elena and I had dinner plans, and we kept them. But under the table I sent Kerry a text. “Big thumbs up. Quite a gentleman. Love, Dad.”
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At The Good Men Project Magazine, we write, discuss, and invite commentary on a whole slew of topics for men and about men in today’s world. Real, honest, complex, and thought-‐provoking.
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Tom Matlack, together with James Houghton and Larry Bean, published an
-‐
About Tom MatlackTom Matlack is just foolish enough to believe he is a decent man. He has a 16-‐year-‐old daughter and
of his life.
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began. Want to buy the book? Click here. Want to learn more? Here you go.