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Adjusting to your changing body
Fifty is the new thirty! Seventy is the new fifty! Creams that fight aging, supplements that proclaim to be anti-aging, the messages seem to be tacitly admonishing us: It’s okay to grow older, but don’t you dare age. While Americans are staying youthful longer, this constant barrage of “you’re as young as you feel” can cause dismay. Regardless of how well we care for ourselves, we cannot entirely escape the effects of aging.
One key to aging gracefully is to accept the fact that your body is in a constant state of change, and the changes that happen in later life tend to bring diminished capacity in one way or another. Aging slows us down. It slows down the body’s natural powers of regeneration, it slows the metabolism, and it slows reaction time and healing. Some of the discomfort that people often feel as they age may be an unwillingness to accept these inevitable changes.
In the U.S., advertising that urges us to fight, fight, fight aging bombards us. What if, instead, we embraced aging? What if we made the aging process our friend and ally instead of our foe? What if we focused on what we’ve gained—wisdom,
experience, patience, trust, understanding, and intuition—instead of on what we’re losing? What if we slathered ourselves in acceptance instead of expensive (and potentially toxic and ineffective) skin creams? Aging might become less daunting, less scary, and less pressurized. Instead of feeling compelled to act and look as if we’re frozen at age 30, we can enjoy the benefits of reaching our 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond.
Here are some of the benefits that generally may go along with being a certain age:
• Older people care less about what others think of them and are less affected by others’ judgments.
• Older people are better able to manage their emotions. Aging helps people develop tolerance, and tolerance leads to an increased ability to withstand life’s (and people’s) shenanigans.
• Older people have clearer priorities and are better able to focus on the things that really matter while jettisoning distractions.
• Older people claim higher job satisfaction than their younger counterparts. According to a recent study by the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research, 92 percent of workers age 50 and older report that they are very satisfied or somewhat satisfied with their jobs, compared with only 80 of workers under age 30. Older workers reported
satisfaction regardless of gender, race, educational level, political ideology, and income level.
• Older people generally are better at dealing with social conflicts than younger people.
• Older people are better able to see the big picture. While studies have shown that younger people tend to become bogged down in minute details, those of a certain age excel at taking in the full scope.
• Older athletes often develop new strengths to make up for loss of speed or explosiveness. Older, often, is smarter when it comes to certain skills. This does not apply only to the pros. Amateur athletes and hobbyists evolve as they age and embrace different aspects of their sports.
Seventy is not the new fifty. Seventy is seventy. Anyone who has spent seventy years living, loving, working, traveling, caring for others, and constantly learning has earned the right not to have to pretend to be younger than his or her actual age. Aging is not something to hide or pretend isn’t happening. Aging is a privilege denied many. Instead of turning to anti-aging creams and schemes in an effort to fight nature, try this instead: Embrace positive aging. Be the best you can be at every age, and accept that your body and mind are always changing.
Source: Psychology Today (January 30, 2016)
Life Advice®
A newsletter for Total Control Accountholders
Summer 2018Volume 25, Number 3
“ You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”
—Joyce Meyer
Time out
Making the most of your smartphoneThe great thing about Smartphones is that they really can make you smarter!
Smartphones are tiny computers that can do many of the things a regular computer can do, and more. Whether you have an iPhone, Android, or a Windows phone, you can download programs—apps—that can help boost your brainpower and enjoyment, since brain enhancing apps can be fun to use. Many apps are free, some cost a nominal amount, and others come with monthly subscription fees.
Here are some ideas for how to make the most of your Smartphone:
• Duolingo is a language app that offers fun, easy instruction on how to speak, read, and write 28 different languages. If you’ve always wanted to learn a second language, Duolingo can help. Free.
• New York Times Crossword Puzzle app puts the renowned newspaper’s daily crossword on your phone—for a price. Although this app costs $6.95 per month ($39.95 if you buy an annual subscription), crossword puzzle aficionados consider it well worth the price.
• Pandora is a radio app that lets you choose the music genre you want to hear and then customizes a playlist for you. Listen to any type of music from any generation. Free with commercials.
• WhatsApp lets you stay in touch with everyone, everywhere, for free. You can text or call for free to other WhatsApp users.
• Google Hangouts is a free texting and video-calling platform developed by Google. Users need Gmail addresses to place video calls. Hangouts works on both your phone and computer.
• The NPR app gives you access to worldwide news and your favorite NPR programs in a concise, easy-to-use format.
• The Weather Channel and other free weather apps are available to help you plan. Free.
• Pillbox (iOS-Apple) and Medisafe Meds & Pill Reminder (Android) help you remember to take medications. Free.
• Shopwell is your on-the-go nutritionist. This app helps you match foods with your health concerns. For example, if you have high cholesterol, Shopwell can suggest foods that may lower cholesterol.
• Elevate is a brainpower boosting app that focuses on practical language and math skills. Free and premium subscriptions.
• Lumosity combines proven cognitive science techniques with a fun, game-playing approach. Free and premium subscriptions.
• Headspace uses scientifically proven meditation techniques to help you create health and happiness. Free 10-day trial, after which several subscription options are available.
Time out
Best national parks to visit in the summerAcadia National Park, MaineA splendidly diverse landscape includes sandy beaches, hardwood forests, and granite peaks. Take a drive along the scenic Park Loop Ride and stop off at Otter Cliff and Sand Beach.
Apostle Islands National Lakeshore, WisconsinThese 21 islands on Lake Superior offer glorious natural beauty and an abundance of water sports. As the cleanest of the Great Lakes, Superior offers crystal-clear scuba diving amid old shipwrecks as well as boating, fishing, and kayaking. While the beaches are the big attraction here,
serious, healthy hikers can enjoy trails that lead to historic lighthouses, scenic overlooks, and old farm sites.
Crater Lake National Park, OregonBrilliant blue water and 2,000-foot cliffs offer spectacular beauty. The park is one of the cleanest national parks in the country. A hiker’s paradise, Crater Lake boasts more than 200 miles of trails, including the 2.5-mile gradual walk up to the highest point in the park—Mount Scott.
Grand Teton National Park, WyomingThe majestic Grand Teton is snowcapped well into July and sometimes August, making for dramatic photography and a sense of awe. Since it is a mere 10 miles from Yellowstone Park, it’s possible to visit both parks in one vacation. Avoid peak times—such as Fourth of July weekend—as Grand Teton’s six campsites are first come, first serve.
Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee and North CarolinaA UNESCO World Heritage Site, Great Smoky Mountains National Park is vast—522,419 wooded acres—and is home to more than 1,500 kinds of flowering plants, more than any other national park in North America. Wildflower hikes, where you’ll spot black-eyed Susans, red cardinal flowers, purple-fringed orchids, pink turtleheads, and Turk’s cap lilies are a must.
Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks, CaliforniaWith awe-inspiring Mount Whitney, the highest summit in the contiguous United States, looming above, Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks feature the highest tree in the world—the 274.9-foot General Sherman Tree. The parks also offer remote trails through glacial canyons and old-growth forests.
Fit for living
Adult-onset asthmaYou cannot imagine how precious the gift of breath is unless you have difficulty breathing. Adult-onset asthma can be dangerous for older adults because doctors sometimes misdiagnose the condition. Due to changes in muscles and stiffening of chest walls in people after middle age, older adults tend to have a lower forced expiratory volume (the volume of air you are able to take in and forcibly exhale in one second). This decreased lung function may cause doctors to miss the diagnosis of adult-onset asthma.
Elizabeth, for example, had been an active older adult well into her late 70s. She walked between three and six miles daily, took Silver Sneakers classes at the YMCA, and enjoyed a rich social life. When her energy levels began to drop and she experienced difficulty breathing, her doctor told her she needed to lose weight. When losing weight didn’t help, he told her that she was out of shape and needed to add activity to
Glad you asked
Q: Can I pay my bills online or by phone from my Total Control Account (TCA)?
A: Yes. Generally, you can use your TCA as a source of funds to pay bills online from your service provider’s (phone, electric, credit card and mortgage companies, etc.) website or pay-by-phone features. Your TCA can also be used for automatic fund transfers. Additionally, you can write a draft to pay bills. Before using your TCA to pay bills, consider if you have other liquid assets that earn less interest than your TCA. If you do, you may wish to use those funds first. Once you withdraw money from your TCA, you cannot redeposit it.
Health note
The healing benefits of humor
“Laughter is the best medicine.” I remember first seeing that quote as a nine-year-old child when I picked up a copy of my parents’ Reader’s Digest magazine and saw a column of the same name. The benefits of a positive attitude are well documented. Having a good sense of humor helps maintain a positive attitude.
The benefits of a good sense of humor include:
• Resilience—being able to see the humor in situations improves coping mechanisms
• Sounder psychological health—a sense of humor is associated with a more positive psychological outlook
• Increased pain tolerance—laughter has been shown to improve pain tolerance
• Cardiovascular health—laughter reduces arterial stiffness
• Greater enjoyment of life
A sense of humor is something you can develop. First, learn to laugh at yourself and your foibles. Look for something to laugh over every day. Read humorous stories and articles. Get out and about and observe people. Go to a dog park and watch how ridiculously adorable dogs are while interacting with each other. Actively seek to be amused and watch your life improve.
Sources: EJOP: Europe’s Journal of Psychology (2014)
• Colds that go to the chest or linger for 10 days or more
Managing your asthma is key to leading a normal life:
• Take prescribed medications. Make sure your doctor and pharmacist know every prescription, over-the-counter (OTC) medication, and supplement you take. Do not make changes to your medication without consulting your doctor. Do not miss doses. Do not use OTC medications unless specifically approved by your doctor.
• Allergy-proof your house.
• Avoid pollen outdoors.
• Avoid foods that could worsen your asthma or allergy symptoms. Some common trigger foods that might make your asthma worse include: peanuts, milk, eggs, salt, shellfish, dried fruits/vegetables, pickled foods, and beer/wine.
With the right medical treatment, adult-onset asthma can be manageable. See your physician for more information.
Sources: Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (2017), WebMD (September 14, 2016)
her life. She became caught in a vicious cycle with her doctor’s diagnosis: He continued to advise that she exercise more, but she had difficulty breathing that forced her to constantly decrease her activity. Being told to exercise more not only did not help; it hurt. Elizabeth interpreted her doctor’s message as judgment that she was merely lazy. When Elizabeth’s breathing difficulties continued to worsen, her doctor sent her to a cardiologist. It took years of deterioration and changing doctors for Elizabeth finally to receive the correct diagnosis: adult-onset asthma.
Symptoms of adult-onset asthma include:
• History of allergies
• Dry cough, especially at night or in response to allergy triggers
• Tightness or pressure in the chest
• Wheezing—a whistling sound—when exhaling
• Shortness of breath after exercise or physical exertion
• Difficulty breathing
“ Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.”—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Life Advice welcomes comments and suggestions from readers. Please write Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, Total Control Account, PO Box 6300, Scranton, PA 18505-6300 Design: Jacqui Bonavito Editor/Writer: Lynn Braz, www.lynnbraz.com email: [email protected] Please include your account number. We cannot guarantee a response to your email without your account number. Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/metlifeadvice. The Total Control Account (TCA) is a settlement option offered by Metropolitan Life Insurance Company and various other members of the MetLife family of companies identified on the bottom front cover of this newsletter. Most administrative services for the TCA, other than draft clearing services, are provided by Metropolitan Life Insurance Company. MetLife also is providing the newsletter as administrator for Brighthouse Life Insurance Company, Brighthouse Life Insurance Company of NY, New England Life Insurance Company, John Hancock Life Insurance Company, and Texas Life Insurance Company. All articles contained in Life Advice are for informational purposes only. Life Advice does not provide medical advice or services, and recommends that readers consult their physicians regarding health or medical concerns. Life Advice does not provide legal or tax advice or services, and recommends that readers consult with their own independent legal and tax advisors regarding their particular set of facts and circumstances. Life Advice is published quarterly by Research Publications, Inc., 129 N. Washington Ave., Suite 513, Scranton, PA 18503. Copyright 2018. Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, New York, NY 10166. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
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Here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you heal from the loss of your parent:
• Do not buy into others’ expectations of how you should grieve.
• Do not judge yourself for your feelings.
• Do not allow yourself to be pressured into hurrying up and getting on with your grief.
• Do not minimize the affect losing a parent has on you emotionally and mentally.
• Do not compare yourself or your grief to others’, including that of your siblings.
• Allow the best part of your parent to live on in you.
• Develop a healthy or positive routine that honors your parent.
• Seek support from a grief support group.
Thoughts to consider
Healing from the loss of a parentAlthough it is usually the natural order of life—that parents precede their children in death—losing a parent never feels natural. Regardless of your parent’s age, health, and closeness to you, and the history of your relationship, losing a parent is one of the most difficult losses to navigate.
To heal from the loss of a parent, it is imperative that you grieve your loss. Although the cycle of grief has been defined as denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, the truth is no two people grieve exactly the same, and no one’s feelings and experiences can be relegated to just one stage of the grief cycle. Some people feel relative peace even when the loss is new; others experience waves of debilitating grief years after the loss. Giving yourself permission to grieve in your own way is the first step towards healing.
When a parent dies, you are likely to feel abandoned and alone, regardless of your age and regardless of your other relationships. No matter how old we become, we are never too old to want or need our parents. Therefore, losing a parent can feel as if our world has been turned upside down.
Often, our world is turned upside down. When you lose a parent, you may have to take care of your parent’s estate and belongings. This can cause or aggravate friction between you and your siblings. If you have no siblings, it can be lonely sorting through all the arrangements and disposition of possessions on your own. It can be overwhelming to face the sheer number of details you may be required to handle. Also, possessions, photos, and keepsakes that remind you of childhood memories can trigger a flood of emotions that compound your grief.
Keeping pets safe during summer
Nature hikes in green-canopied woods, lounging on a blanket in the park, or in a hammock in your own backyard. Americans spend more time outdoors during summer than any other time of year. And so do our pets.
If your pet spends time outdoors, consider protecting exposed body parts with sunscreen. Also, be sure to follow your vet’s advice on how to administer protection from fleas, heartworms, and ticks.
Ticks can carry a range of diseases, including Lyme disease, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, ehrlichiosis, and babesiosis. Even if your pet never ventures beyond your yard, be sure to do a daily inspection for ticks. If you find a tick, here’s how to remove it:
• Part your dog’s hair around the tick with your fingers.
• Place tweezers around the tick, close to the pet’s skin.
• Pull gently upwards with a steady hand, adding pressure until the tick lets you pull it free.
• Don’t twist or jerk the tick.
• Clean the bite area and your hands with rubbing alcohol, and soap and water.
• Dispose of the tick by killing it in alcohol or flushing it down the toilet.
• If you’re concerned your dog may have contracted a tick disease, save the tick in alcohol for testing.
Sources: Dogs Naturally (2018), PetMD (2018)
