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HAPPY TO BE ME: IMPROVING BODY IMAGE AND
INCREASING SELF ESTEEM
Joelle Arlt MS Happytobeme.tv
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Joelle Arlt, MS Mental Health Counseling
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Self esteem answers the question “How do I feel about who I am?”
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“To have high self esteem is to feel confidently appropriate to life, that is, a feeling of competence and a feeling of worthiness” Nathaniel Brandon
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EXTERNAL VS CORE
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Global self esteem vs situational
• Global self esteem is constant but not set in stone. Raising it is possible, but not easy
• Situational self esteem varies based on what is happening in the person’s life
• Situational self esteem fluctuates based on events, roles and circumstances
• Situational high one moment (ie work) then low in another situation (ie at home)
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Low self esteem is a negative evaluation and low opinion of yourself
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Self esteem affects all areas of life
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Self esteem is learned
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Self Esteem is a Muscle
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Self discovery
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The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice –Peggy O’mara
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What beliefs about yourself did you learn in childhood?
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Story
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Core beliefs about beauty • What do you believe is
beautiful? • How did you come to
believe that?
• Who decides what is beautiful?
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Layers of beliefs
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Set A Good Example
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Identify triggers to low self esteem and feeling bad about yourself
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ABC Method A = Activating Event B = Beliefs and the meaning you give it C = Consequences or results
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A Invitation
Invitation
B I am fat
I am ok just as I am
C Feel lousy/ crabby/ don’t want to go/
shame Go to party,
have fun
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Cognitive Distortions
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A utomatic N egative T houghts
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Old patterns and beliefs are changed with consistent,
regular practice
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Visualization/ relaxation
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Self talk
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Mindfulness
• Stop and Notice • Awareness • Notice reaction • Slow down the
reaction • Choose a new
response
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Watch out for self talk that is negative, self-defeating or unrealistic.
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Monitor your self talk
• What would you say if a friend said that?
• Is there a more positive way to look at the situation?
• Is there evidence? • Is it true? • Can you do something
about it? • Are you keeping things in
perspective?
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How you talk to yourself matters!
Use “you” in self talk (You can do it!) Instead of “I” (I can do it)
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Turn down the volume on your negative thoughts
Look for ways to put a better spin on the situation Ask better questions
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I am good enough!
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Society and the media create an unrealistic demand of beauty and body image, the “thin ideal” that is nearly impossible to achieve or sustain
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The thin ideal VS
The healthy ideal
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Research indicates that 3-5 minutes of FAT TALK can SIGNIFICANTLY increase body dissatisfaction
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Go FAT TALK free!
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Stop criticizing yourself …. and other people
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Stopping unfair criticism of yourself will help you accept your imperfections and mistakes
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The healthy ideal is the best and healthiest YOU that YOU can be!
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LOVE the SKIN you’re IN!
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PERFECTIONISM = SELF SABOTAGE
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Perfectionism • Hurts our body image • When our standards
are too high it leads to disappointment with our bodies
• Plays a role in eating disorders
• Leads to comparing ourselves to the thin ideal (tv, movies, mags, media)
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Affirmations
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Perfectionism • Set realistic goals • Stop comparing yourself to other people • Accept that it is ok to make mistakes • Don’t move the goal posts • Appreciate your efforts • Be kinder to yourself • Keep things in perspective • Stay flexible • Know that your best is good enough
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Nevertheless exercise Even though____ nevertheless ______
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Your flaws and imperfections are what
make you unique!
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I will only feel good about myself when….
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Self-acceptance
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SELF ACCEPTANCE
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Self acceptance has two parts: 1.Giving an accurate self assessment
of strengths, successes and body
2. Getting comfortable with ‘what is’ and not beating yourself up or criticizing yourself for imperfections, mistakes, weaknesses and failures
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Self judgment
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STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE
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I accept and love all my flaws and imperfections!
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High levels of self acceptance and
self understanding
helps women be ok with
imperfections in their body
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Self love
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If you really loved yourself, how would you take care of yourself today?
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People don’t take care of things they don’t like. Do you treat your body like a Ferrari or a junker?
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Notice how food affects mood
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Stop beating yourself up about food
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What are your reasons for exercise?
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Self respect and valuing yourself is an important part of self esteem and
healthy body image.
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Adolescent girls that like their body gain less weight over time than adolescent girls that hate their body
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Drop your conditions for considering yourself sexy and beautiful
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Learn to Accept Compliments
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Self Love is a verb
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Summary
• Notice and challenge your self talk – NO FAT TALK
• Accept yourself – Your value is not based on your body/looks
• Take good care of yourself – Love yourself and treat yourself like you would
treat your best friend
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I celebrate, appreciate, adore, acknowledge, accept and LOVE my body right now!
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Love the skin you’re in
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Resources
• Video blog and self-esteem, self confidence, body image, self worth and self love
content and inspirational quote pictures • <happytobeme.tv>
/Twitter/Pinterest/Instagram/Youtube Happy to be me tv
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QUESTIONS? JOELLE ARLT, MS EMAIL [email protected]
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