don't cry about it

8/14/2019 Don't Cry About It

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Don’t Cry About It

A call to action concerning the future of same-sex marriage

By Kate Brown

I'll admit it. I'm a crier. And it's not just when things are sad. I have an emotional

threshold that, when crossed, doesn't function. I can't process extreme joy either,

like the time my family secretly flew my sister across the country for my college

graduation, and I turned the corner on Washington Ave. to find her standing on the

other side of the street in the 7-11 parking lot. Complete, embarrassing, catatonic,

about-to-faint, waterworks. I tried to cross the street and nearly got hit by a car

because I stopped right on the yellow line. It happens when I read something

especially beautiful, or when I take a moment to think about how unfair the world is

sometimes.

Most people don't know this about me. I do hold my cards very close to my chest

and it takes people aback when I lose it in a fit of tears. To the few who have seen

me react this way, you are probably laughing right now, because you know it's true.

The reason that I am revealing this embarrassing fact now on facebook of all places,

is that I want to share with you all a very private moment that I had in a voting

booth a few years ago. I was living on Munjoy Hill, so on November 8, 2005, I went

to the school on the East End of Portland to vote. It was dark, I was tired from a full

day of classes, but I knew that I had be a good citizen and participate.

And anyway, I had been following the issues so I already knew the sequence of

bubbles that I would be filling in. It was supposed to be a wham, bam, thanks-give-

me-my-freakin-sticker-so-I-can-get-drunk-and-eat-pizza-now kind of night. It wasn't.

Because when I closed the curtain, I read Question 1 and this is what it said:

"Do you want to reject the new law that would protect people from discrimination in

employment, housing, education, public accommodations and credit based on their

sexual orientation?"



Take a moment to read that again, because at that moment, I did.

"Do you want to reject the new law that would protect people from discrimination inemployment, housing, education, public accommodations and credit based on their

sexual orientation?"

Think about what that question is asking. It is profoundly upsetting that this is even

being voted on.

Even though I knew beforehand that I was going to vote No on 1 and even though I

only had to darken a tiny circle, I couldn't do it without shaking.

Here we go again with that stupid emotional threshold. It was crossed.

I stood there for what seemed like ten minutes, crying, alone, in a temporary voting

booth in the middle of an elementary school gym. My roommate was outside

waiting for me. She had already voted. Why couldn't I move? I couldn't move

because I was thinking about all of my friends and family members, past, present,and future, who until this vote passed, COULD be discriminated against based on

sexual orientation. I could not process how wrong that was.

I thought about my friend who has two mothers, and still has to carry legal papers

at all times just in case her non-biological mother gets sick and goes to the hospital.

She has gotten sick. One nurse still tried to intervene.

I thought about the kid in my hometown who was called a faggot and beaten on hisown front porch after school because a few guys didn't like what he wore to school

that day.

I thought about all of the men and women who were afraid to say who they really

were because of all of the hatred and homophobia that exists in backwoods Maine.



And I am still thinking about these things today - while you all vote and I am a

thousand miles away. It might as well me a million. That's what it feels like.

Because I want to vote No on 1 once again and I can't.

I’ve never told anyone the story of the voting booth. I wiped my tears on my

sweatshirt sleeve and exited with a fake smile. But I can’t be fake about it tonight.

The results of today’s election aren’t in yet. I’m scared. If No on 1 is not the

outcome, how upset are you going to be? What are you going to do?

Are you gonna fight? I’m not gonna cry about it anymore. I’m gonna do something.

We’re all young. We don’t know that the great civil rights movements of the 20th

century were like. We can’t imagine having the race of our partner determine thelegitimacy of our love under the law.

We have a duty to our friends to make sure that we are all allowed to marry and

form legally protected, loving family units, regardless of our gender and/or

orientation. If Yes on 1 passes:

Hetero couples – refuse to get married. Fuck it, get divorced. Show that you will

not accept hetero privilege. Don’t go to any weddings. Let’s bring the wedding

industry to its knees. Money talks, and those who withhold it speak louder.

As I sit here and write this, I see that the Press Herald is reporting that Yes on 1 is

leading with 65% of the precincts reporting. Start planning the next step NOW,

because this fight isn’t over until it is a national law that all same-sex couples can

get married. Get in the street. Get on the net. Get angry. And whatever you do,

don’t cry about it. We’ve got work to do.

don't cry about it

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