Dispute Resolution Center Harris County, Texas Mediation Matters September 2019

The Dispute Resolution Center (DRC) has provided residents of Harris County with cost free dispute resolution services since 1980. Over those thirty-nine years, numerous programs have been developed that allow our volunteers to mediate most types of disputes. However, the majority of mediations are conducted in the following three principal programs:

General Disputes (no lawsuit yet) This program is for the mediation of disputes before a lawsuit is filed (except divorce). Common disputes in this program involve: Money (informal personal loans, property damage, consumer - merchant/service, etc.); Automobile (sale, repossession, towing, repair, etc.); Landlord - Tenants (repairs, deposits, etc.)

Mediations typically last around 2 hours and can be conducted during regular business hours or Monday, Wednesday & Thursday evenings (starting at 6:00, 6:30 or 7:00 p.m.)

Active Civil Cases (not divorce) This program is for the mediation of disputes after a lawsuit is filed. Common disputes in this program involve: Debt Collection - formal loans, credit cards, etc.; Personal Injury - auto; premises liability, etc.; Insurance Claims - including subrogation; Homeowner Association; Appellate / Probate / Justice Court Matters; Other Civil Matters.

The Dispute Resolution Center can only mediate for parties with a court pleading or disputed dollar amount of $100,000 or less. We do not mediate suits involving more than three named parties. Mediations typically last about 4 hours and are conducted during business hours beginning at either 9:30 a.m. or 1:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday & 9:30 a.m. only on Fridays.

Divorce (both with or without a lawsuit) This program is for the mediation of divorce disputes both before or after a lawsuit is filed. Common disputes in this program involve: Divorce - child: custody, visitation, support, etc.; Modification - child support, visitation, etc.; Grandparent Access / Custody; Property Division - pre & post-divorce; LGBTQ - all issues associated with divorce; Common Law separations.

The Dispute Resolution Center can only mediate for parties with no significant financial or real property holdings and a combined gross annual income of $80,000 or less and does not require that parties have children in order to provide our services. Mediations typically last about 4 hours and are conducted during business hours beginning at either 9:00 a.m. or 1:00 p.m. Monday through Thursday & 9:00 a.m. only on Fridays.

Principal DRC Programs

Mediator Tip

Analysis Paralysis

While the following article was written specifically for sales representatives and business owners, the basic premises discussed could potentially apply during a mediation. As mediators, we sometimes forget that we are asking parties to make significant decisions in a relatively brief period of time. This article by David Villa may shed some insights into why those decisions may be difficult for some people.

Have you ever overthought an action or situation so much that you froze up? When you are faced with several choices, you are actually more likely to make a poor decision or not make a decision at all. When paired with performance anxiety, this problem is exacerbated. Overanalyzing is counterproductive, but it often originates from good intentions.

Overanalyzing is everywhere. It's the star basketball player who freezes up and misses the easy shot; the normally outgoing student who chokes during a presentation; the writer who scrutinizes their own work to the point where they toss it into the garbage.

In business, this can happen when a client or prospect is presented with too many choices and decides to not purchase at all. They are so confused or overwhelmed with decisions that they move on to something simpler.

This is known by psychologists as analysis paralysis. This phenomenon refers to the moments when someone is so overwhelmed with choices that they are unable to make a decision at all. The choices simply become too much. Rather than force themselves to irrationally make a decision, they do nothing.

Imagine walking into a clothing store. You're looking for a new jacket. The salesperson greets you, and upon hearing what you are looking for, they begin to bring you hoodies, sweatshirts, leather jackets, peacoats and sports jackets. Soon, you find yourself sorting through a growing assortment of different outerwear, and are either flustered or annoyed by the sheer volume of choices to make. You leave and end up buying a sports coat elsewhere.

What did the salesperson do wrong? They greeted you, but instead of identifying a specific kind of jacket you were interested in buying, they just started bringing you everything. That's an overwhelming situation. This is analysis paralysis, and it's more common than you may think.

It happens in every industry. In the culinary world, restaurants are recommended to have smaller menus, no more than a page or two. Having more has proven to be less profitable for several reasons, one being that it will overwhelm guests.

Continued on next page...

Mediator Tip Continued...

So, how can we avoid analysis paralysis if it's such a common issue? Here are three tips to help you avoid giving your clients analysis paralysis:

• Offer fewer choices. This is the most obvious and simplest answer to combat analysis paralysis. Byoffering fewer choices or offering them in small chunks, prospects will be able to choose what they feel is best for their needs.

• Discover their needs. This should be done with every prospect. By outright asking their needs ratherthan assuming, you will be able to tailor your choices to the client's specific needs. Don’t make assumptions. Ask.

• Make the best choice obvious. Lead your client into the choice that fits best. Being honest anddisplaying the direct benefits that come as the result of their decision will help move the process along. Giving them time to analyze each and every insignificant detail will lead to confusion and uncertainty. Put yourself in their shoes, and offer genuine advice.

Unfortunately, clients aren’t the only ones who deal with analysis paralysis. For example, a salesperson with downtime is often faced with many choices. Should I be training? Do I have paperwork that needs handling? How could I use my time to effectively prospect right now? All these thoughts can lead salespeople to procrastinate.

People want to make the absolute best decision and are sometimes too focused on weighing out the pros and cons, especially on decisions that aren’t really that crucial. Make the best-educated decision with the time and resources that you’ve been given. A good decision executed now is better than a great decision executed later.

Now that you are aware of analysis paralysis, take note of the time it takes for you to make decisions. Acknowledge when you completely avoid making a decision. Remember, you can overcome these difficult decisions. Just be sure not to overanalyze them.

David Villa is the founder and CEO of iPD Agency and brings over 20 years of national sales and executive management experience to the table. Since the iPD was established in '95, Villa has been responsible for pioneering, growing and scaling iPD into one of the nation’s leading database management, business development, training, and intelligent marketing companies in the automotive industry and beyond.

ADR Funnies

Establishing Rapport

Establishing rapport:

Start with a hand shake.

Good introduction.

Grinning is winning, be likable.

Be more interested in the parties than their problem. Ask “What’s going on?”

Initiate small talk. See if you have a common enemy, e.g. traffic in Houston.

Be respectful of the parties and their problems, but remember they are their problems.

Welcome to Devin Will, our new DRC Receptionist & Social Media Representative!

Please be sure to drop by and introduce yourself the next time you are at the DRC offices.

“He understands badly who listens badly.” – Welsh Proverb

Welcome to the DRC!

Staying with Conflict

A Strategic Approach To Ongoing Disputes

by Bernard Mayer

Mayer begins with the premise that conflict professionals do themselves and disputants a disservice by limiting their services to those conflicts that can (or will inevitably) be resolved. Mayer urges us to take a proactive role in community, society, and even global conflict.

While Mayer’s book is eloquent, it is equally pragmatic. For example, he recommends specific ways in which to negotiate intermediate issues towards the greater “acceptance of enduring conflict.” He advocates embracing conflict and uncertainty instead of avoiding it. He carefully analyzes the reasons why certain disputants choose to avoid conflict, and

argues persuasively that in most instances that avoidance can and should be overcome. He observes and gives deference to the power generated by conflict itself, and suggests that we should learn to go beyond balancing power between the disputants to harness the power presented by staying in the conflict itself.

Mayer underscores the essential paradox of approaching conflict with optimism while being mindful of the reality that some conflicts may never be resolved. Building on the narrative mediation model advanced by Gerald Monk and John Winslade, Mayer offers concrete ways to focus on a narrative that “fosters a constructive and durable process of engagement.” He offers examples throughout the book of specific conflicts and how they can be harnessed for the “duration.” For example, simple rules of communication (via telephone, email or through an intermediary) and appropriate intervals for communication (daily between partners, or monthly between co-parents) are set out in detail.

Mayer is ever mindful that “the goal in enduring conflicts is not agreements per se, but agreements that move the overall conflict process in a constructive direction” (p. 182). Nonetheless, conflict specialists, he argues, should take a role in “making implicit agreements explicit,” among other things (p. 199).

Book Review

Continued on next page...

The book concludes with a message on both individual and institutional marketing in order to create demand for this service. Mayer recommends we include a blurb on “assistance with on-going conflict” in our marketing materials. For example, one can easily see this service as useful in divorce or child custody matters; but consider the corporate client seeking “corporate conflict oversight” or the governmental entity searching for “internal dispute supervision.” The concept has broad and exciting implications for training and use in workplaces, hospitals, and schools, for just a start.

There is no question but that Mayer’s new work makes an important and highly readable contribution to the literature on conflict resolution. If nothing else, you must read the Epilogue of this book, dealing with the inevitability of some enduring conflict, and the essential nature of such conflict for personal or societal growth. While the book may not prove to be a favorite among those who are satisfied resolving conflicts for lawyers and their clients, all teachers of conflict resolution should own this book and those interested in taking part in conflict that may not be subject to resolution should absolutely read it, but beware its subliminal effects on your mediation practice!

About the Author:

Dr. Bernard Mayer is an icon in the world of conflict resolution. With over a quarter

century of experience in the field, he was a founding partner at CDR Associates, the

internationally recognized mediation and conflict resolution organization, and originally

trained as a psychotherapist. He has worked across the globe as a mediator, facilitator,

teacher, trainer, dispute systems designer, and program administrator. A true scholar

as well as leading practitioner in the field, he earned his Ph.D. in Social Work with an

emphasis on conflict resolution.

About the Reviewer:

Attorney Jan Frankel Schau is a highly skilled neutral, engaged in full-time dispute resolution. Following a successful career spanning two decades in litigation, she has mediated over 700 cases for satisfied clients. She also serves as a Trustee of the Board of Directors of the San Fernando Valley Bar Association, and has presided as Chair of its Alternative Dispute Resolution Section and Litigation Section. She holds a Certificate of Advanced Skills in Negotiation from the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution of Pepperdine University as well as from the Western Law Center for Disability Rights at Loyola Law School.

Book Review Continued...

DRC Community Outreach

Don’t forget to like us on Facebook!

www.facebook.com/drchouston.org

If you would like a DRC representative to attend an event or are interested in assisting at any

scheduled community events, please contact Moiya Press-Jackson, DRC Community Outreach

Specialist, at (713) 274-7100 or moiya@drchouston.org.

Help us spread the word about DRC services!

Thank you to all our volunteers who took time to mediate with us in July and August!

Altsuler, Kent

Amos, Kesha

Armstrong, Andrea

Arntz, Jill

Beckham, Allison

Bushman, Patricia

Cabello, David

Cantrell, Carol

Chitolie, Synther

Cordell, Thomas

Crosby, Natasha

Davis, Heather

DeSoto, David

Donovan, John

Ducoff, Russell C.

Evans, Sarah

Freeman, Linnie

Gage, Sunshine

Galagaza, Joseph

Gammell, Bradley

Gao, Ge Eva

Gaughan, James D.

Geiger, Kathryn

Gold, Jeffrey

Haney, Michael

Herron, Chetiqua

Horn, Andrea

Howard, Steven

Jackson-Matthews, Sheryl

Kim, Young Y.

Kreider, Stephen

Lapidus, Mark

Ligums, Ann Bradford

Linden, Joanne

Lunceford, Erin

Lyon, Chris

Mann, June

Marsh, Rebecca

Martin, Ernest

McCoy, LaJonda

McDonough, Shari

McKenna, Jack

Mergel, Debra

Michel, Tina

Mohammed, Shalah Soraya

Mora, David

Murray, Megan

Neal, Kristi

O’Connell, Candace

Olmeda, Maria

Page, Brenda

Patel, Harry

Payne, Louise

Prillaman, Samuel

Reiner, Raymond

Rendon, Josefina

Rider, Roger

Ritchie, Mark

Rokes, Susan

Santire, Stanley

Schein, Salomon

Shults, Robert

Smith, Cheryl

Smith, Denice

Smith, Naomi

Spears, Shantrell

Sterling, Chaunte

Tabangay-Vigilla, April

Taylor, Ashton

Thiagarajan, Radha

Thompson, Darcy

Thompson, James

Vilt, Karen

Wagner, Frederick

Wells, Judy

Young, Fredrick E.

Zucker, Noya

We Want To Hear From You! Have ideas or suggestions for a future DRC newsletter? Please let us know about it at newsletter@drchouston.org.

49 San Jacinto, Suite 220 Houston, TX 77002

(713) 274-7100 email@drchouston.org www.drchouston.org

A Nonprofit Corporation Sponsored by the

Houston Bar Association www.facebook.com/drchouston.org

To subscribe to our bi-monthly newsletter “Mediation Matters”, please click on the “Subscribe” button below. You will receive an email alert on the day of publication.

The DRC does not share or sell any email lists. Your information will remain private and used only to alert you that a new edition of our newsletter has been posted to our website.

Bon Voyage!

The DRC bids bon voyage to Case Manager Ashley Amador. Ashley will be pursuing her teacher’s certificate and we wish her the very best in her new endeavor!