discipline with love and logic

8/6/2019 Discipline with Love and Logic

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DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE &

LOGIC

Developed B y:

Foster Cl ine & J im Fay

www. loveand log ic .com


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Pr inc ip les of Love & Log ic

To enhance student self-conceptby nurturing behavioralcompetence & responsibility

To encourage student control,thinking & making wise choices

To hold students accountable fortheir choices & decisions & help

them learn problem solving byusing empathy & logical

consequences.


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Confront ing Disc ip l ine

Myths

Cline & Fay (1988) believe in

addressing principles advocated by

other approaches

Students should be warned inadvance of the consequences forviolating rules

That when students break rules,consequences should follow

immediately Teachers should only expect respect

from their students & not careabout being liked by them.


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Love & Logic Be lie fs

z Students have to be held

accountable, but consequences donot have to be delivered immediately:can be delayed/extended

z Students do not need to always know

in advance what consequences ofproblem behavior is: can be

extended/delayedz Teachers need to work on

establishing relationships of respectand positive rapport with students.


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Rules o f Love & Log ic : #1

zAdults take care of themselves by

setting limits that are enforceablein loving ways without anger,lecture.

Adults avoid anger, warnings,

threats etc.

adults use enforceable statements

Children are offered choicesLimits are maintained with

compassion & understanding


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Rule # 2

z Childhood misbehavior is treatedas an opportunity for gainingw isdom by the child and the adult

hands it back to the child in lovingways.

In a loving way, the adult holdsthe child accountable for solvingthe problem in a w ay that doesnot create a problem for others

Adults offer choices w ithin lim its

adults use enforceable statements& provide delayed/ extendedconsequences w ith empathy.


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Sam ple Em pat h ic

Responses

z It really hurts

when.

z It is sad when.z This sounds really

z Bummer, I know youwanted things to bedifferent

zYour feeling real...


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Delayed or Ant ic ipa t ory

Consequences

Problems with Immediate Consequences4Most of us have problems thinking of one

4We own the problem rather than handing it over to thestudent & end up thinking more than the child.

4We are forced to react while we & the child are upset

4We do not have time to put together a reasonable plan& often end up making threats

4We live in fear that some kid will do something that wewont know how to handle with an immediate

consequence Consequences:


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Using Delayed/Ex t ended

Consequences

z Sincere empathy is essential

z calmly say to the student:

Ohthat kind of behavior is aproblem. I will have to dosomething about that. I am busyteaching, so I will get back to you

about it later. Try not to worry.

If the student continues, thenhave them wait outside class toaddress the issue while youcontinue to teach.


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Using t he I -CAN Model

I=Identify one specific behavior

C=Consider: consequences an adult wouldexperience under similar circumstances

A=Ask others for help in designing a Love& Logic intervention

N=Never give up! Keep asking for help asyou treat one behavior at a time


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St eps For Using Non-verbal

SIGNALS

S=Specify one behavior to work on

I=Individually meet with the student

G=Give the student a description of thedesired behavior change

N=Note that you want to use a signal to

avoid embarrassmentA=Always practice the signal first

L=Let the signal be your first strategy to

cue desired behavior


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Guiding Chi ld ren To Solve

Thei r Ow n Prob lem s

Empathy: e.g. How sad..; I bet that hurts

Send the power message: what do you think you are

going to do?Offer choices: e.g. Would you like to hear what otherkids have tried?

Have the child state the plan & consequences & ask:how do you think that will work?

Give permission for the child to either solve the problemor not.


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The Road t o Sel f

Conf idence:

R Risk

R Struggle

RAchievementRAttribution

Translates to:I am forced to stand

on my own two feet, paddle my

own canoe & solve my ownproblem with guidance from caring

adults in my life.

discipline with love and logic

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