dharma ta l k

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love is all around

MY ROOT SPIRITUAL teacher, Nyoshul Khenpo, oncesaid that a moment of enlightenment is a moment whenwe realize “the blessings that are always pouring forth.”We are, by nature, endowed with qualities of absolutegoodness—purest love, compassion, wisdom, and tran-quility. Those radiant qualities are intrinsic to ourbeing. They are among the “blessings” to whichKhenpo refers. A moment of enlightenment is amoment in which we newly notice such “blessings” ashaving been all around us, and within us, from thebeginning. Whenever we are ready to notice, we cansense their healing, liberating energy pouring forthright here, right now.

One such radiant quality is unconditional love, thekind of love that doesn’t care what someone has thoughtor done but simply wishes him or her deep well-beingand joy. It’s like the unconditional and unreserved lovethat a wise, devoted parent has for a child. That capacityfor love is within each of us and has been active all around

us, pervading our world fromthe moment we were born.

The claim that love per-vades this world may notsound real to you but thatdoesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Most of us just haven’t learned to pay much attention tothe countless moments of love, kindness, and care thatsurround us each day: a child at the store reaching forher mother’s hand, an elderly stranger at the park whosmiles upon a young family, a grocery clerk who beamsat you as she hands you your change.

The “blessings that are always pouring forth” includethe love that has permeated our lives, peeking at usthrough many eyes. Think, for example, of someone youloved to be near when you were a child: a parent orgrandparent, a special aunt or uncle, a family friend orteacher—someone it felt wonderful to be with. Whydid you like to be near that person so much? Probablybecause she radiated a wish of love to you through thequality of her presence, her words, her play with you, orsimply through her smiling eyes when you came near.Try to remember someone like that from your childhoodright now. Hold that person in your mind for a momentand recall how it felt to be near her. That’s what it is liketo receive the love that simply wishes for your happiness.We like to be near people like that because we have adeep need to receive their unspoken love, to drink up itslife-giving goodness.

That radiant blessing of love has been coming to usfrom the start, not just from a few people close to us,but also from many not personally known to us or peo-ple long forg o t t e n . So many have offered themselves tous quietly, unnoticed and unremarked upon, such asthose who served in our school, who coached sports forus as small children, who taught us music and clappedfor us, who watched over us with kindness and carewherever we ran and played. Then there are all theadults who put loving care into their work, as our teach-ers, doctors, nurses, social workers, craftsmen, bakers,librarians, and waitresses. Yet we may never havenoticed the extent of such care and consideration. Noone actually verbalizes: “Out of

John Makra n s k y is a pro-

fe ss o r of Buddhism and

C o m p a ra t i ve Theology at

B o ston Colle g e .

JOHN MAKRANSKY e n co u rages us to re cognize the unconditional love in our live s .

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Border Crossing, A lex Webb, Nogales, Mex i co, 1979

It is important to learn to re cognize deeply spiritualp e o p le in your world, past or present, who function asspiritual benefa c to rs. These are persons that you fe e lembody great goodness, a fo rce of love and co m p a s-sion that ex tends to all without partiality, includingyo u rs e l f. These may be people in your life whose fun-d a m e n tal goodness and way of being pro fo u n d lyi n f l u e n ced you. If you have a mentor or teacher whoi n s p i res your spiritual pra c t i ce, he or she would beincluded here. You could also include the te a c h e rs ofyour own spiritual te a c h e r. Pe o p le most pro fo u n d lyh o ly to you, such as Shakyamuni Buddha or Jesus,would fall into this ca te g o r y. Try to identify ones yo ufeel to be such sacred beings and trust your ow nmaturing sense of that, without trying mere ly to co n-form to others’ assumptions.

You can keep a picture of a spiritual benefa c to rnear you to help you re l a te to this person. Onem e d i ta tor I know keeps a picture of Mr. Rogers ,

the fa t h e r ly te levision personality and ministe rwho helped generations of American children fe e lat home in this world. Because spiritually we i g h t ybeings have communed so deeply with the ve r ys o u rce of love and co m p a ssion we share in thatg round when we open to their wish of love. Itb le sses our life. This is part of the reason thatimages of the Buddha, the Dalai Lama, and otherreve red spiritual te a c h e rs are so important toT i b e tan Buddhists—such figures are sources ofspiritual energy and inspiration for those who re g-u l a r ly commune with them. Try to bring to mindone or more spiritual benefa c to rs now, whetherp e rs o n a l ly known to you or admired from a dis-ta n ce, and imagine their smiling pre s e n ce befo reyou. Relax and gently open to re ce i ve their wishof love that ra d i a tes to you and many others .Commune with them in that way for a little while ,and enjoy.

Guided Meditation #1: Commune with Spiritual Benefactors

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loving concern for all the childrenin this neighborhood, including you, I am helping tobuild this playground,” or “I am now sending you thewish of love; that’s why you like to be near me.” And thechild doesn’t think “I am now receiving the wish oflove.” So we may never become conscious of how muchloving care pervades our world.

As we grow older, we learn to pay attention to thingsthat society considers more real and significant than theloving care of all those people. According to the social dis-course around us, it seems much more important to iden-tify those whom we should hate, fear, or compete with foraffirmation, power, and wealth. Meanwhile, televisionnews and magazines focus our communal attention eachday on the horrible things that some people have done toothers, as if that is all that happened in the world that day.

Much of our discourse is spent propping up this nega-tive worldview: “Oh, yes, I know what you mean, my rela-tives are horrible too.” “I can’t stand that politician either. ”“Can you believe how stupid those people are?” We havebecome so smug in our cultural cynicism we don’t noticethat even the people we generally look down upon havehad moments of integrity and kindness.

In addition, there are people in the world andthroughout history who have benefited many peoplebeyond their personal lives, people whose way of beingembodies such powerful concern for others and for theworld that they epitomize our greatest human potential:Shakyamuni Buddha and Jesus, St. Francis, MartinLuther King, Jr., Gandhi, Mother Theresa, the DalaiLama. Such potent spiritual beings have radiated theirlove to all of us without discrimination. But with ourmodern, secular worldview, many of us have forgottenhow to acknowledge and to receive the liberating powerof such love. Instead, we’ve learned to ignore it.

Our society provides no curriculum or schooling onhow to notice love or to recognize the many people whohave transmitted its life-giving power. Most of ushaven’t been taught that to receive love deeply andtransmit it wholeheartedly is a real human possibility,that it can be learned, and that to do so is the key to ourdeepest well-being, our spiritual life, and our capacityto bring more goodness into this world.

So as adults, we need to become newly aware of the lovethat has infused our lives all along, to turn our attention toit afresh with the eyes of a child. To do so is to become con-

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We discover love ’s tra n s fo r m a t i ve and libera t i n gp ower first by re ceiving love more fully, then byo f fering it more inclusive ly, and finally by re f lecting itf rom the ground of our being. To enter into thisp ro ce ss, we need to identify benefa c to rs who havebeen emissaries of love in our live s .

“Benefactor” here means someone who has sentus the wish of love, the simple wish for us to bewell and happy. Once we start to notice such beings,we find, actually, that there have been many thathave radiated such love to us, but we had mostlyoverlooked or fo rg o t ten them.

A benefa c tor is someone you perce i ve as such inyour own ex p e r i e n ce, not just someone you ass u m eyou should pick as benefa c to r. Your benefa c to rs maybe living or not. The power of love tra n s cends howwe think of time.

B e n e fa c to rs need not be infa l l i b le or perfect people .J u st allow yo u rself to become new ly aware of

moments when someone’s unre s e r ved love came toyo u — t h rough a kind wo rd, a gest u re, a smile, or aco m forting pre s e n ce. It could be someone well know nto you or a seeming st ra n g e r.

Try to re call someone like that from your childhoodright now. Envision his or her smiling pre s e n ceb e fo re you. Recall how good it felt to be near thatp e rson. That is what it is like to re ce i ve love. Holdthat person in mind for a little while, co m m u n i n gwith him or her in the simple goodness of their wishof love for you, their wish for your happiness and joy.Ta ke a few minutes just to relax and re ce i ve thatwish from him or her. Right now.

When you feel ready, try to think of a few otherpeople you adored being near as a child. An uncleor aunt, perhaps? A schoolteacher that you loved tobe with? A friend of your parents whom you lookedforward to seeing? When I began to do this exe rc i s e ,my seco n d - g rade teacher suddenly appeared in my

Guided Meditation #2: Discover the Benefactors in Your Life

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scious of the tremendous capacity for love that even nowpermeates our being—to open to it, to be healed by itslife-giving energ y, and to participate in its power to renewour world. We can awaken to the deepest goodness in our-selves and others. We can learn to recognize and communewith the blessings that have always been pouring forth.

The first step is to learn to pay new attention to whathas been ignored. Many people are extending love, thesimple wish for us to be happy—and have been since theday we were born. What is remarkable to me is what

happens when we are willing to notice it. And even moreremarkable is what happens when we are willing toreceive it. The simple act of accepting a stranger’s wishfor our happiness empowers us to experience the worldin a completely different way.

To receive such a simple wish of love quietly opens ourminds to an innate wisdom that recognizes the essential

goodness of being, the intrinsic goodness of experienceitself, the joy of being alive. It brings out the natural wis-dom that was hidden in our minds—a purer vision thatknows the beings and things all around us to be utterlyh o l y, as if they were all messengers of the Buddha.

To receive love in this way is to become conscious ofa fresh, sacred world that was somehow obscured byour tired, socially constructed worlds of self-centeredworry and cynicism. When someone awakens in amoment of receptivity to the “blessings that are always

pouring forth,” the fresh, sacred world that was longignored suddenly unveils itself. It is self-revealed aso n e ’s true home. !

All portions of this article have been adapted from Aw a k e n i n gThrough Love © 2007 by John Makransky. Reprinted byarrangement with Wisdom Publications, wisdompubs.org.

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To receive love deeply and transmit itwholeheartedly is a real human possibility.

m i n d ’s eye — M rs. Kirchner, whom I liked so muchthat I acc i d e n ta l ly ca l led her “Mom” at school. Shewasn’t just teaching; she was ex p re ssing her love fo rher students through her teaching. Then there wasmy Uncle Morton, who ex p re ssed his love with sillyj o kes and by snatching some of my french fries whenI wasn’t lo o k i n g — w h i le making sure I would ca tc hhim in the act. When you have thought of a few suchb e n e fa c to rs in your life, imagine them befo re yo uone by one or all to g e t h e r. Menta l ly hold the smilingfa ces of those benefa c to rs befo re you; then relax andj u st accept the simple goodness of their wish fo ryour well-being and happiness, their wish of love fo ryou. Ta ke time for this right now, accepting, re ce i v-ing, and enjoying the power of their wish. There isnothing more important to do.

If you do this exercise repeatedly, you will recog-nize more benefactors not only from your early lifebut also from other periods. Even now there are

people you have probably overlooked who make awish for your happiness, but you haven’t realizedyet how important and life-giving it is to pay atten-tion to them.

As your pra c t i ce pro g re sses, you may find yo u r-self widening your range of benefa c to rs by sponta-n e o u s ly re calling insta n ces when you we re therecipient of unconditional love, even from peoplethat you long chara c terized as unloving. One medi-ta tor who had a particularly difficult re l a t i o n s h i pwith his mother told me how during a medita t i o ns e ssion he found himself re calling a scene from hise a r ly childhood. He had been in a fever, foggy withdelirium, when his mother came to soothe him byplacing her hand on his stomach—a gentle, healingtouch. The memory of that simple, loving gest u res u d d e n ly re a w a kened. Again, we are not lo o k i n gfor infa l l i b le people; just moments when genuine,u n re s e r ved ca re came thro u g h .

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