Deciding what is best for me …and my baby

to keep oneself from doing something; to keep oneself from doing something that would result in a pregnancy

Think about activities you enjoy doing now.

How would these activities be affected if you or your girlfriend became pregnant?

What would be the reaction of your parents, family, and friends?

What choices would you have?marriage, single-parenting, adoption

FULL TIME JOB

24 HOURS A DAY365 DAYS A YEARA MINIMUM OF 18

YEARSNO TIME OFF FOR

WEEKENDS OR HOLIDAYS

YOU CANNOT QUIT!

DUTIES Assume all physical, moral &

financial responsibilities of another human being

QUALIFICATIONS Patience, compassion,

understanding & mature judgment

SALARY - NONE In fact, you must plan on

spending at least $3500 a year for the privilege of accepting this job.

HELP WANTED

Where will you live?How will you provide for the

child?Who will provide childcare?How does your family feel

about your decision?Will you finish school?What is your biggest fear

about parenting?

1 Child 2 Children

Necessary Hourly Wage: $13.81 $16.81

Necessary Monthly Income $2,210 $2,690

Necessary Annual Income: $26,520 $32,280

Item Estimate Average Cost Per Month

Apartment Rent $550

Electricity Bill $40

Gas Bill $25

Phone Bill $50

Clothing (for self) $100

Baby Clothing & Nursery Needs $200

Food for Self $200

Food for Baby $210/mo ($120 formula, $20 baby food, $70 diapers & wipes)

Eating Out (at restaurants) $100 ($25/week)

Health Insurance for You $100

Health Insurance for Baby $100

Car Insurance, Gas, Repairs $125

Car Payment $200

Personal Needs (Haircuts, etc.) $100

Prenatal & Delivery Payment Plan $800/mo ($8,000 total cost, different if you have insurance)

Medical (Contacts, Prescriptions) $50

Medical for Baby (Checkups, Shots) $75

Child Care $500

Media (Cable, Movies, Newspaper) $75

Total Monthly Cost $2850-$3650/mo (the higher amount includes delivery at $800/mo)

Your Monthly Income (AFTER taxes)

$966.88 average income AFTER taxes (if you make at least $7.21 an hour)

Lower Education attainment

Lower incomesLess likely to work full

time.More likely to receive

welfare.5 times more likely to be

poor.Drop out of school.Commit crimes as adults.Less social involvement

and contact with friends.Higher rates of physical

and psychiatric illness.

Adoption is the legal transfer of parental rights from one person to another person or couple. Adoptive parents have the same rights and responsibilities as parents whose children are born to them.

Is this what is best for me and my baby?

Where do I want to be in 5,10,15 years?

What do I want my baby to have in his/her life?

MYTH: A birth parent who cares about his/her child would not even think about adoption.

MYTH: A birth parent will never know anything about his/her child and the adoptive parents in the following years.

MYTH: Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy.

MYTH: A birth parent will eventually forget about the child he/she relinquished for adoption.

MYTH: All adoptees will grow up to have serious psychological problems.

MYTH: No one can love a child as much as the birth mother.

MYTH: Since you got pregnant it’s your responsibility to live with the consequences and keep the baby.

Children placed in adoptive homes have better scores in school and engage

in less delinquent behavior than children raised by a single parent.

Children in adoptive families have better health status and higher quality

home environment than all other children.

Mothers who place their child for adoption are “more likely to finish school

and less likely to live in poverty.” Mothers who choose adoption are

more likely to marry than those who parent their baby.

1,586,004 children under the age of 18 are adopted—about 2.5% of all children

1 in 6 homes is affected by adoption

19,430 children in Utah are adopted—about 2.9%

Children develop best when they have warm, intimate, continuous, and enduring relationships with their fathers and their mothers.

Less likely to Drop out of school Get a divorce or separate Be on welfare. To become pregnant out of

wedlock Engage in delinquent

behavior

Charles DickensEdgar Allen PoeEleanor RooseveltFaith HillHalle BerryJesse JacksonJohn LennonMalcolm XMark TwainDaunte CulpepperDave Thomas

Melissa GilbertSteve JobsMosesNancy ReaganNat King ColeNelson MandelaPres. Gerald FordPres. Bill ClintonSarah McLachlanScott HamiltonRay Liotta

Placing your baby

Birthmother or biological parent

Making an adoption plan or choosing adoption

Child by birth or biological child

Finding a family to parent your child

Giving your baby up

Real or natural parent

Giving your child away

My child or real/natural child

Putting your child up for adoption

Negative Adoption Language

What kinds of things are important to you in choosing an adoptive family?

Location? Religion? Education? Other Children? Lifestyle/Activities?

What kind of an adoption would you like? How much contact do you want before birth? After birth?

Pictures? Letters? Phone Calls? Visits? Would anyone in your extended family wish this as well?

Birth Plan Do you want the adoptive family involved before the

birth? At the birth?

Confidential (closed)– No contact, birth mother might not even meet the adoptive family or look at profiles.

Semi-open– Meet with adoptive parents prior to placement. Exchange letters and pictures through the agency.

Open– Exchange personal information, visits between birth parents and adoptive parents.

Personal Referrals Ask friends and family if they

know possible adoptive parents or a good adoption attorney

Adoption Agencies Find a good, licensed agency

(ask for references) Check out many different

agencies to make sure you feel comfortable with the one you choose

Adoption Attorneys Choose one with adoption

experience Be sure you and the adoptive

parents do not have the same attorney

Internet Websites on Adoption Ask those who have had

success with legitimate websites

1,345,917 births to single women in 2000, this is double what it was in 1980

1952-1972 8.7 % of premarital births were placed for adoption

1973-1981 4.1% of premarital births were placed for adoption

1982-1988 2% of premarital births were placed for adoption

Relinquishment– Birth mother must wait at least 24 hours and cannot be on any medication.

Paternity– A birthfather must file a voluntary declaration of paternity BEFORE the birthmother signs relinquishment. If he does not do this he has no rights.

Finalization– Adoptive Parents must finalize six months following placement.

Safe Haven Law- A woman may relinquish her child at a hospital or police station without prosecution.

Your Parents or other supportive family members

School CounselorChurch LeadersHealth Department or

Social ServicesAdoption AgenciesMental Health Center

or Family Services Agency

Your Teacher

SEE YOUR TEACHER We have given your teacher a list of books about adoption, a list of adoption Agencies in Utah, and a toll-free hotline number to call if you are pregnant and need help.

Go to www.itsaboutlove.org for information on adoption and to look anonymously at couples who are hoping to adopt.

Go to www.adoption.com for information on adoption and to look anonymously at couples who are waiting to adopt.

Go to www.utahsafehaven.org to find out more about Utah’s Safe Haven Law.